How to stop thumb sucking?

[Halcyon]

My 5 year old has sucked his thumb since the day he was born--actually, strike that--he was sucking in the womb as evidenced by the ultasound. His thumbsucking, far from lessening, has actually increased in the last few months now that he's home from pre-school (he didn't suck it around his friends in pre-school for fear of being called a baby, but now that he's home, he's sucking all the time.)

 

This has interfered somewhat with our day to day life: he is reading on a 3rd grade level, yet if a book doesn't 'stay open' on it's own (such as the Magic Treehouse books) he resists reading it because he can't suck his thumb while reading. We've been using binder clips to keep it open, but really, it's a little ridiculous. He sometimes chooses not to draw because he can't suck his thumb and draw. Our doctor says he shows "asynchronous development" which I guess means in some areas he's way ahead (reading, vocabulary) and in other areas, he's 'behind'. But he doesn't "act like a baby" (I don't use that phrase in front of him!) in any other way, so I don't know if I agree.

 

Today I decided to take action to minimize his thumb sucking. We made a calendar and every day that he doesn't suck his thumb for an hour, he gets a sticker and a reward (I am NOT a fan of rewards in general but I am making an exception). His reward is either a candy bar or 20 minutes of computer game time. Initially, he unwillingly agreed to have me put tape on his thumbs to make it easier to not suck his thumb, but then he decided he had enough willpower to resist.

 

So far today he has resisted sucking for 2 hours, even though I told him that I thought 1 hour was enough for now. He is playing a game on the other computer as I type. I am also considering getting the bitter polish, but he cried a lot when I mentioned that, saying that "some children are just born this way, and I need to suck my thumb!" :(

 

Ideas, thoughts, appreciated.

[Chris in VA]

Awww.

:grouphug:

 

I sucked mine for a long, long (did I say long?) time. It was a stress reliever.

The orthodontist made a mint on my teeth. He actually put in spikes on my lower teeth to try to dissuade me. It worked for a while, but then I went back to it. I gave it up years later.

 

My ds sucked, too--he gave it up on his own when he went to K. His teeth showed no ill effects.

 

You can try the yucky stuff. I just bore it and sucked it off.

You can give him other ways of expressing/relieving anxiety. You might try keeping track of when he does it and what he's doing at the time, to try to intervene and offer other strategies. Mine was at bedtime, and when watching TV--not that it was stressful, but I used it to relax. The setting became the trigger.

 

More hugs.:grouphug:

[Halcyon]

Awww.

:grouphug:

 

I sucked mine for a long, long (did I say long?) time. It was a stress reliever.

The orthodontist made a mint on my teeth. He actually put in spikes on my lower teeth to try to dissuade me. It worked for a while, but then I went back to it. I gave it up years later.

 

My ds sucked, too--he gave it up on his own when he went to K. His teeth showed no ill effects.

 

You can try the yucky stuff. I just bore it and sucked it off.

You can give him other ways of expressing/relieving anxiety. You might try keeping track of when he does it and what he's doing at the time, to try to intervene and offer other strategies. Mine was at bedtime, and when watching TV--not that it was stressful, but I used it to relax. The setting became the trigger.

 

More hugs.:grouphug:

 

Thank you. I do think he uses it as a stress reliever for SURE. I do my best to distract him; he loves making lap books and he doesn't think about sucking when we're making them, so I am doing my best to get a lot of those set up...but seriously, he can't be doing projects constantly LOL. I am thinking of getting him lollipops as an alternative--at least his hands wouldd be free then! :glare: My sister sucked til she was 25....

[coffeegal]

My sister sucked til she was 25....

 

Oh my. :grouphug: Two of mine sucked their thumbs until they were 8 and 9. I was advised to leave them alone until they were ready, but at that point I asked if they were ready to stop and offered a bribe of a chocolate bar or something. :confused: They both took me up on the offer and stopped sucking their thumbs. We used bandaids on the thumbs as a reminder. I asked my then 4yo if he wanted to join in, and he looked at me as if I were crazy. He's still sucking his thumb.

 

Could you set up a thumb sucking nook for your son? Or make a special spot on his bed? If he really needs to suck his thumb, he could curl up in his special spot, otherwise he can join you in other activities. He'll probably spend a lot of time there at first, but should get bored after a time and join the family in other activities. Especially if you plan some of his favorite things to do after the first 2-3 days. ;)

[Halcyon]

Oh my. :grouphug: Two of mine sucked their thumbs until they were 8 and 9. I was advised to leave them alone until they were ready, but at that point I asked if they were ready to stop and offered a bribe of a chocolate bar or something. :confused: They both took me up on the offer and stopped sucking their thumbs. We used bandaids on the thumbs as a reminder. I asked my then 4yo if he wanted to join in, and he looked at me as if I were crazy. He's still sucking his thumb.

 

Could you set up a thumb sucking nook for your son? Or make a special spot on his bed? If he really needs to suck his thumb, he could curl up in his special spot, otherwise he can join you in other activities. He'll probably spend a lot of time there at first, but should get bored after a time and join the family in other activities. Especially if you plan some of his favorite things to do after the first 2-3 days. ;)

 

That's a good idea. Although I do think he WILL choose to suck his thumb over doing the activities...but I like the idea of a special spot. We are trying to show him that he has power of this--right now, the way he talks about it is very helpless-sounding, like he has no choice. I see a lot of computer time in his future.....:tongue_smilie:

[Snickerdoodle]

My thought was to give him gum.

[Halcyon]

another brilliant idea. he loves gum! or maybe sugar free lollipops...

[Susie in SWVA]

My daughter, now age 33, sucked her thumb (privately when she got older) till she was about ten. I worried and fretted about it. My mother-in-law told me not to worry, that she wouldn't be doing it on her wedding day - she wasn't!

 

Susie in SWVA

[Laurel]

Gum has worked well here. 5 yo sucked his thumb so much/so roughly when he was a baby that his thumb would get infected. We would cover his hands with socks or extra long sleeves, and he would gnaw through them. Tried the bitter polish, tried hot sauce, nothing worked. He's moved on to sucking his fingers, but it's gotten a lot better in the past 6 months or so. We've really tried to break the habit. It's especially bad in the car, so he usually gets gum in the car, though sometimes just a detailed picture book to look at works (though it sounds like this wouldn't work for your son).

[elise1mds]

My DS still sucks, especially when he's tired or reading. I'd send him to a quiet place, but that's where he loves to be when he's sucking his thumb anyway! I figure one of these days he'll give it up. I've tried everything else, and he keeps doing it.

[Kim in Appalachia]

She does this when she's tired or relaxing. She's 12.

 

She also sucked her thumb in the womb. We had free access to an ultrasound machine when I was pregnant with her and did an ultrasound at least once a month. Every one showed her thumb in her mouth. She found that thumb within 3 weeks. I tried to give her a pacifier, but she would not take it. We tried to use that nasty stuff you paint on the thumb when she was a toddler, but she just sucked it off. When she was 8 or 9, she also wanted to try and stop and we kept a sock on her hand, but she just tossed it off at night.

 

I'm not trying to discourage you, but there are some kids you can't get to stop.

 

I do buy her gum, and when I see her doing it I remind her to stop. She has such nice straight teeth, but one tooth is turned out a bit, because of her thumb sucking.

 

But really, if that ends up being her worse habit in life, it will be OK. :001_smile: I rather she suck her thumb then smoke or constantly eat.

 

You can keep trying different things, like prizes or some sort of reward system, but keep it positive and don't sweat it if it doesn't work out.

[Diane in CO]

This is a timely thread for me. DS 7 is sucking his thumb/fingers and we can't get him to stop. We tried the Mavala stop last year and he quit for about 6-8 months (chewed the heck out of his shirt sleeves and the neck of his shirts during this time). Starting sucking his first two fingers again this summer...I put Mavala stop on them he then started sucking his thumb. I have started putting the Mavala stop on this thumb and caught him sucking his pinky this morning :lol: He looked like the evil guy from Austin Powers movie:D Anyways, not quite sure what to do, so I will be watching this thread closely

 

Diane

[mjpeter]

There's always something, isn't there? My 10 yo chews on the collar of his shirt when he is doing homework or sitting still. I wouldn't care so much, but he's wrecking all of his shirts.

[Aggie]

For our thumb-sucker, we told her she could only suck her thumb on her bed. She had to remove herself from the family and go to her room if she wanted to put her hand in her mouth.

 

It worked in less than a week, and she's our introvert. :)

[MotherGoose]

My sister and I sucked our thumbs until we were in school, and neither of us needed braces :) So there's some hope. We just eventually stopped. Both of my dd (4 and 17 mos) suck their thumbs, but I have always prohibited it except when they were in bed. My dd4 won't do it without her "night-night" blanket, and I've never let her carry it around. So I'd suggest limiting the places he can suck his thumb, say only in his room, which is conveniently free of lots of fun things he likes to do.

[BMW]

I had a die hard thumb sucker... he could have cared less to be 11 and 12, sucking his thumb, completely enjoying his sucking, in front of middle schoolers... anyone... it really drove me nuts. He simple didn't care. He still would not care, either. BUT, the dogs got in a fight and he decided to try to separated them and that thumb took a pretty nasty bite! He had to have medication for infection and keep it clean and wrapped. When it healed enough to suck again, it felt funny in his mouth (the scarring or lump of tissue under that surface). So, he quit for good.

 

Another dd still does at night in her bed and she is in high school... but, she would not do so in front of anyone and only does that when she is stressed or over tired... When she was little, we tried wrapping it... we tried socks sewed over the ends of her pj top sleeves... no matter what, she found a way during the night... but, she did care about sucking in front of others...

[gingersmom]

My son was sucking his thumb on the ultrasound also.

 

He just turned 11 (yesterday) and I think (hope!) that his thumb will no longer find its way to his mouth when he is sleeping.

 

When my son was much much younger (birth-5) he would suck it during the day if he was watching tv/video or when he got tired. Then he would suck it to go to sleep. Then it became in his sleep he would do it.

 

For the past year he has worn a glove to bed (a big winter one) off/on. I think that is finally doing the trick.

[rafiki]

.

[WishboneDawn]

I think I was between 9-11 when I stopped. Can't remember when but I think week-long summer camps where I would've been embarrassed to be discovered had something to do with it. Honestly, this is something I'd leave to a child to figure out if it's not causing harm. The added stress of having my parents bug me about it did nothing but get me stubborn about it.

 

ETA: I would address thumb-sucking in public though. It's a private thing, not a public thing. I've got no advice on handling that however as I can't seem to get my nail-biter to stop. :)

Edited September 8, 2010 by WishboneDawn

[WishboneDawn]

Awww.

:grouphug:

 

I sucked mine for a long, long (did I say long?) time. It was a stress reliever.

The orthodontist made a mint on my teeth. He actually put in spikes on my lower teeth to try to dissuade me. It worked for a while, but then I went back to it. I gave it up years later.

 

I've heard it can help some kids with tooth issues. I've also heard it doesn't do a darn thing to teeth.

[Halcyon]

I think I was between 9-11 when I stopped. Can't remember when but I think week-long summer camps where I would've been embarrassed to be discovered had something to do with it. Honestly, this is something I'd leave to a child to figure out if it's not causing harm. The added stress of having my parents bug me about it did nothing but get me stubborn about it.

 

ETA: I would address thumb-sucking in public though. It's a private thing, not a public thing. I've got no advice on handling that however as I can't seem to get my nail-biter to stop. :)

 

 

I think the idea of saying it's a private thing is good in some respects, but not in others. I don't want him to think it's "shameful", kwim? But I do think simply saying, you're only allowed to suck your thumb on your bed would work. Thanks for all the advice people!

[Alphabetika]

My dd16 sucked her thumb until she was 8. She was down to sucking it only to go to sleep, but she had no intention of stopping. Then she broke her wrist, and the cast prevented her from sucking her thumb. She couldn't go to sleep at night for about a week, which showed us how dependent she was! When she got the cast removed, she had to wear a wrist brace for a few weeks, and she decided that she was just going to wear it until she had completely quit her thumb. So she did. If that hadn't happened, I'm not sure she wouldn't still be thumb-addicted.

[ZeldaRules]

My son quit sucking his thumb last October/November. He was almost 6. He would only do it when he was tired. Some friends who saw him a lot didn't even know he sucked his thumb.

 

I bribed him with some toys he really wanted. What is your son's collateral...what does he REALLY REALLY want? We put a sock on his hand(s) at night so he wouldn't suck his thumb at night. If he didn't suck it for 2 days, he got a $5 bakugan. After 4 days, he got an $8 one, after 1 week, he got an $11 or $12 one. After 2 weeks, he got the $40 big one he wanted. So he got a new toy every few days in the beginning and a big toy he wanted at the end. He hasn't sucked it since. He's an oldest child, and a pretty easy child to deal with. I wonder if I will have more challenges with my youngest when she hits that age. She sucks her middle fingers. Only does it when she is tired, though, so we'll see.

 

Good luck.

 

Vicki

[HSMom2One]

My youngest ds was exactly the same as you describe your ds. Born with a thumb in his mouth, he continued on through time for kindergarten. We were ps'ing in those days and I knew he would get teased at school, so thought I would try to motivate him in advance. One night in late summer when I was tucking him in, I sat on the bed and talked to him about it for awhile. I explained that he was going through a time of change and that he'd need to start letting go of some habits now that he was big enough to go to school. I suggested that maybe he should save his thumb sucking just for bedtime. He liked that idea, and it worked - honestly, it worked. From that moment on, he stopped sucking his thumb except at bedtime. Before long, he let go of it all together.

 

Maybe you could suggest a compromise similar to this so your ds can make the change gradually instead of all at once.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[EmmaNZ]

I don't have any thumb-suckers, but I was one. I sucked my thumb until I was at least 16 - possibly a bit older. As I grew older I tended to just suck when I was tired or upset, in private, but as a younger child it was pretty much any/all the time.

 

No matter how hard my parents pushed I was never going to stop until I was ready. I NEEDED my thumb for comfort - it wasn't simply a 'habit'. If your son is a die-hard thumb-sucker like me then nothing you do is going to work. That's not to say don't try to stop him if it bothers you, just to say be gentle with him! He's still little.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with your son and think he's very wise when he said "some children are just born this way, and I need to suck my thumb!"

[Chris in VA]

I've heard it can help some kids with tooth issues. I've also heard it doesn't do a darn thing to teeth.

Not sure what the "it" is in the post--

For clarity, what I meant to say was that I needed braces for a long time to correct my overbite that was due to thumbsucking. The spikes were put on to stop the sucking, to prevent further damage, even before I got the full mouth braces--and yes, the way I sucked my thumb definitely affected my teeth. You can see the progression of my overbite in my photographs as I aged. Of course, my dad had an overbite, too, but I've never asked him if he sucked--I think his was just "bad teeth" to begin with.

Hmmm--I think the sucking may have exacerbated my overbite--I've never really considered that it may have gotten worse over time because teeth will do that on their own...? You can see in photos of when I was about 2 or 3 that my teeth are pretty normal. By 9, there's definitely a huge overbite.

[NanceXToo]

My daughter stopped on her own around the time she turned 8.

[Halcyon]

My son quit sucking his thumb last October/November. He was almost 6. He would only do it when he was tired. Some friends who saw him a lot didn't even know he sucked his thumb.

 

I bribed him with some toys he really wanted. What is your son's collateral...what does he REALLY REALLY want? We put a sock on his hand(s) at night so he wouldn't suck his thumb at night. If he didn't suck it for 2 days, he got a $5 bakugan. After 4 days, he got an $8 one, after 1 week, he got an $11 or $12 one. After 2 weeks, he got the $40 big one he wanted. So he got a new toy every few days in the beginning and a big toy he wanted at the end. He hasn't sucked it since. He's an oldest child, and a pretty easy child to deal with. I wonder if I will have more challenges with my youngest when she hits that age. She sucks her middle fingers. Only does it when she is tired, though, so we'll see.

 

Good luck.

 

Vicki

 

He really, really loves computer games (jumpstart, for one) and we normally limit him to 15 minutes a day so right now, i am rewarding him with games and it's working-3 days now, with no thumb sucking except at night.

 

I also promised him a pencil holder he's had his eye on at the end of the week (what can i say, he's a geek LOL)

[LibraryLover]

I am in the whoop- de -doo --leave -him-be camp.

[parias1126]

Both my DDs eventually grew out of that habit by the time they were 6. Three out of 4 of my DC are/were thumb suckers.