How do I get my D to wear her glasses when driving?

[distancia]

Hi, I need some help here.

 

My D is driving and I have to constantly remind her to wear her glasses when she drives. She forgets. The problem is, her eyesight isn't terrible, it's just bad enough (100/50) to affect her vision so that she unconsciously squints. The eye doctors have said these are the hardest patients to deal with, because if their eyesight was any worse, they would be reaching for glasses out of necessity. But this borderline eyesight thing....

 

I am continuously telling her "wear your glasses" as she is leaving the house. I have had to run after her in the driveway to remind her. I have to go follow her out to the car to remind her. Sometimes I have taken away her keys (!) and have driven her around as a punishment, and then she remembers to wear her glasses...for a day, or two, or three. Then she forgets again.

 

She has contact lenses, but she has to go through a break-in period when wearing them, like 2 hours the first day, 3 the next, etc. because they are hard lenses (she can't wear soft). She will remember to put them in like the first 3 or 4 days, then forgets, so she has to start all over again, and when I step in to remind her she says, okay okay, I'll just wear my glasses!!! GRRRRRR!

 

I shouldn't have to remind her. She's 17 1/2! I have explained to her that she is under my insurance and if anything happens I am liable, etc. She knows this and she promptly wears her glasses (when reminded).

 

Personally it would be easier for her to wear her contacts all the time but after the first few days, like I said, she forgets or I am not here to remind her or she's in a rush and in and out of the house.

 

I try first thing in the morning to get her into the habit of putting in her contacts but she is cranky and says, "just give me a minute until after breakfast/after my shower/after my first lesson/after lunch."..it drags on and on and then by that time I have become so tired of asking, and I forget, too....

 

Can anyone think of a solution? I am SO tired of nagging!!!!!

Edited August 28, 2010 by distancia
typo

[Denisemomof4]

my ds never, ever, ever wears his glasses while driving. He doesn't wear them PERIOD, and he won't try contact lenses.

 

I guess I don't worry about it or come down hard on him because I was the same way.

 

I know this isn't helpful but I thought I'd respond anyway.:tongue_smilie:

[Renthead Mommy]

Your car, your insurance, YOUR keys. Make her check out her car key like a library book. When she wants to leave, she has to come to you for her car key. If she doesn't have her glasses (Library card) she can't check out the key. When she comes in for the night she has to give the key back to you.

 

She'll get tired of it quickly and start remembering.

[hornblower]

Does her DL indicate that she needs corrective lenses to drive?

 

If so, then the first time a kid drove without corrective lenses, I'd take away the keys for a month. If it happened again, I'd take them away for good. If she wants to take her own risks once she's 18 (or whatever the age of majority is in your area) - well, there's nothing you can do.

 

But while under my care, this would just not be ok.

[distancia]

Does her DL indicate that she needs corrective lenses to drive?

 

No, her DL does not indicate she needs corrective lenses :sad: It was one month after she got her license that she had her annual physical and the doctor noticed her squinting at the eye chart;that's when we learned her eyesight had changed for the worse and we took her to 2 different eye doctors.

 

Her eyesight is not terrible but it's bad enough that I--who wear contacts that don't bring my vision to 20/20 but only 20/30 and 20/40--can read things that she cannot. Like the digital numbers on the TV cable box, or signs telling store hours, etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If she can wear contacts all day, why not her glasses? And I agree with trying the check-out idea for the keys. If she won't go for that or circumvents it, then Hornblower's idea would have to be it.

[The Girls' Mom]

I was the same way at that age. It didn't improve until I had to drive at night to unfamiliar places, and I couldn't see signs well enough to know where I was going. I finally started wearing them, and have been wearing them ever since.

[Wheres Toto]

She didn't have to take an eye exam at motor vehicles to get her license? NJ requires an eye exam at the testing facility. You must have 20/50 vision or better with at least one eye to pass. If you pass with corrective lenses it is marked on your license.

[Cedarmom]

I guess I would first decide whether it was important enough for you to make a big deal of. Is it dangerous for her to be driving without them? Or is it just that she might miss a road sign amd get lost? If you truly feel it is dangerous then I would say the next time I have to remind then I don't feel she is responsible enough to drive and take away her keys for x amount of time (what you feel is appropriate) If its just a matter of inconvenience for her I would quit reminding her, she is old enough to remind herself.

[kitten18]

Does she wear sunglasses?

If she does, I would get her some prescription sunglasses.

[StephanieZ]

The same way I'd enforce any other serious family rule. . . Not easy, lol.

 

She is old enough to fully understand unrelated and/or delayed 'punishments' so they don't have to be completely related to driving. If I were to take away the keys/DL, I'd be sure that dd did NOT get rides everywhere she wants at her whim. If I am paying insurance for this kid, but not able to have the convenience of her driving, then I'd be POed. She'd need to be paying gas/insurance/etc plus doing chores (that save ME time). . . in order to make up for *my* inconvenience and added expenses.

 

I haven't raised a child that old/mature yet. . . so I am no expert. . . But I'd imagine things like grounding, loss of computer/facebook, loss of cell phone, loss of allowance, etc. would be things that would be in my toolchest.

 

I'd sit her down, tell her that this is a serious issue, and that I can no longer allow her to "forget" at all, ever. Discuss her ideas for making that happen. Allow her x time (under one month) to attain mastery of this habit following *her* ideas. . . with the understanding that after that time frame, *your* ways were going to be in place. Loss of DL for an extended period and/or other very serious consequences would be in place and clearly communicated at the outset.

 

Perhaps DD could keep her keys in a designated place along with her glasses? Or, attach a LARGE brightly colored (embarassing!) tag to her keys that say "GLASSES!!!!!!!!" You could offer her those kinds of ideas to her. . . and let her choose. . .

 

In my talks with her, I'd compare it with other impaired driving (DUI, medications, etc.) or another safety concern (seat belts, driving while texting, etc.) and make it completely clear that it was a zero tolerance issue and that from now on, the rules were going to be SERIOUS. *I* can have more stringent rules than whatever state laws happen to apply!

 

Personally, I'd be *especially* intent on her mastering this habit just b/c she is so close to being independent/leaving home/etc.

[Pretty in Pink]

She didn't have to pass an eye exam to get her license?

 

If I felt it were dangerous for my dc to drive without glasses then I would put my foot down. Wear the glasses or lose your driving privileges for a week. I'm guessing that she would somehow remember to wear her glasses or contacts after you took away the keys a time or two. You could even tape a reminder to the center of the steering wheel so that she has no excuse for forgetting.

[Haiku]

I am continuously telling her "wear your glasses" as she is leaving the house. I have had to run after her in the driveway to remind her. I have to go follow her out to the car to remind her. Sometimes I have taken away her keys (!) and have driven her around as a punishment,

 

Don't do this. You are making it your job, not hers. Why should she have to remember when you remember for her?

 

Were it me, I would simply tell her, "Every time I notice you not wearing your glasses or contacts when you are driving, I will take the keys away for X number of days, and you will have to make alternate (i.e., non-mom) arrangements to get where you need to go." She has to have her glasses on before she opens the front door to leave.

 

Tara

[QueenCat]

Your car, your insurance, YOUR keys. Make her check out her car key like a library book. When she wants to leave, she has to come to you for her car key. If she doesn't have her glasses (Library card) she can't check out the key. When she comes in for the night she has to give the key back to you.

 

She'll get tired of it quickly and start remembering.

:iagree:Excellent idea!

[Barb_]

Your car, your insurance, YOUR keys. Make her check out her car key like a library book. When she wants to leave, she has to come to you for her car key. If she doesn't have her glasses (Library card) she can't check out the key. When she comes in for the night she has to give the key back to you.

 

She'll get tired of it quickly and start remembering.

 

:iagree: This one is my favorite. It would be non-negotiable in our house too.

 

Barb

[AK_Mom4]

My oldest DS solved the problem by duct taping his glasses case to the dashboard of the car right in front of the steering wheel. He'd get in his car, see the case, and put on his glasses. When done driving, he'd put them back in the case.

 

or you could fasten her glasses case to her key chain........

 

We have this problem at our house too....vision not REALLY bad enough to need glasses all the time, but driving's better with the glasses. So we just keep a set of glasses in car. Problem solved.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Were it me, I would simply tell her, "Every time I notice you not wearing your glasses or contacts when you are driving, I will take the keys away for X number of days, and you will have to make alternate (i.e., non-mom) arrangements to get where you need to go." She has to have her glasses on before she opens the front door to leave.

 

Well, I agree with Tara to a good extent, but...

 

I would go from the other direction also. The point would be to rework the memory from the positive because that will end up being a driving force while punishment can't be 100%. So you come up with something to do every single time she gets in the car. Have a tiny checklist or a sticky note or something else she does (like pet a stuffed animal) in order to remind her.

 

But in the end? I think it's logical to take the keys if she refuses. Honestly, we all have these sorts of things that it takes a little work to remember. But we DO remember. We CHOOSE to. At this point, it seems that she isn't choosing to, probably partially because mom is doing the remembering instead. But working with her to come up with a way to remember herself and a logical consequence will put the ball in her court.

[Haiku]

Have a tiny checklist or a sticky note or something else

 

When I was in college, I had a note on the inside of my dorm room door that said, "TARA! Where are you going? Why are you going there? What will you need when you get there?"

 

I did this after too many trips UP the big hill from my dorm to campus, only to remember that I needed X,Y, or Z that was back in my dorm room ... DOWN the big hill. *sigh*

 

Tara

[chiguirre]

If it's not a nuisance for other drivers, get her a cheap pair of glasses that live in the car. Mine live around my gear shift so I never forget them.

 

(No, I'm not that ditzy! My eyesight improved with age and I only use the glasses because they're noted on my DL. I don't need them for the movies or even the supertitles at the opera.)

[Mom0012]

I think the easiest thing could be to tell her she can't drive until she works up to wearing her contacts all the time. How long would that take? Then you wouldn't have to deal with the back and forth of the glasses all the time.

 

Lisa

[edithcrawley]

No, her DL does not indicate she needs corrective lenses :sad: It was one month after she got her license that she had her annual physical and the doctor noticed her squinting at the eye chart;that's when we learned her eyesight had changed for the worse and we took her to 2 different eye doctors.

 

Her eyesight is not terrible but it's bad enough that I--who wear contacts that don't bring my vision to 20/20 but only 20/30 and 20/40--can read things that she cannot. Like the digital numbers on the TV cable box, or signs telling store hours, etc.

 

Then legally she is fine. Can she see the road signs without her glasses? Has she ever not been able to see an obstacle while driving? If she drives fine without them, and they aren't legally required, then don't push the issue. If her eye sight was worse, then I'd worry about it, but the things she isn't able to see aren't really going to affect her driving. My little sister (18yo) is the same way.

 

 

 

Also, when she goes to renew her license, have her bring her glasses, but not wear them. If you wear them when you take the eye test, they'll put a restriction on your license saying you always need to wear them. If you can pass the test without, you won't have that restriction. They don't care if you squint to pass, as long as you can manage its ok.

[Gwenhwyfar]

She didn't have to pass an eye exam to get her license?

 

 

wondering this also.

 

i have 20/60 in one eye and 20/200 in the other - and i passed the vision test at the dmv. there's no restriction on my license - but i do often wear them to drive in the day and always at night. but -- according to the law -- i do not HAVE to wear them, ever.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Sometimes when I have to remember something, I write it on a little post it note and stick it on my dashboard.

 

Maybe write "Glasses" on a little scrap of paper and tape it to her steering wheel?