Do your parents and your in-laws know eachother?

[Jenny in Atl]

We keep them very far apart. Everyone is much happier that way. :tongue_smilie:

[Tam101]

I said maybe. They have met, in fact had dinner together tonight, but they don't "know" each other. This is the first time in many many years they have been in the same room.

[JeneralMom]

Unfortunately, my DH's parents passed away before I met him, so no, they do not know each other. My mum and SIL have spent time together because we do not trust my mum to be alone with the children long term and have had my SIL come stay with kids and her (when she lived with us) the one time we had to be gone for a few days.

[Guest knitterofthings]

No my husband's and my families have never met.

[jujsky]

I don't think my ILs and my family would naturally be friends if we weren't married, but since we are, everyone gets along. We have a big Thanksgiving with the ILs, my mom, my brother & SIL, & my favorite aunt & uncle. All those same people come to events for the kids, including birthdays so they see each other several times/year. My mom & MIL are completely different people, but they are both caring for high-maintenance, elderly mothers right now so in recent years they have had that common bond. My mom has been invited to parties at my IL's house several times but usually doesn't go (she's not a party person & they live 2 1/2 hours away from each other). I haven't always gotten along with my ILs, but the 2 families have always gotten on well.

[Melinda S in TX]

My mom and sister have separate trailers on the same ten acres. My inlaws live less than 15 minutes from them. They usually all come to my house or my inlaws house for Thanksgiving. Though they don't make an effort to call or get together, they will stop and chit chat if they see each other in town.

 

Melinda

[LizzyBee]

I picked the other option, because my in-laws died before dh and I got married. His dad died before we met. I met his mother once, and she died soon after.

 

My parents socialized quite a bit with some of my other sisters' and my brother's in-laws, so I'm sure they would have done the same with my in-laws if they'd had the opportunity.

[sonsmama]

My MIL died before we met and my FIL has since died. Although we live in a different state than them, we see a lot of my in laws and both sides of the family get together.

[Murphy101]

They have met.

That's about it.

Lived in the same city for a long time but I doubt they'd know each if they ran into each other on the street.

[dsmith]

My mom and in-laws live in the same small town and go to the same church. In the past we got together just for special occasions, but now that we are living with my in-laws, we get together more often. My mom is having a difficult situation at home with my brother and his family, so we try to have her over frequently or take her out to dinner. Dh and I figure we need to buy a house in the future large enough to fit us, my mom, my in-laws, and our neighbor (who is more family than some of our actual family).

[elise1mds]

My parents know my mother-in-law pretty well but not so much my father-in-law. Part of that is because he lived in Australia until he moved to Pennsylvania, which isn't very close to us. So they've met but don't really know one another.

 

Now, do they get along is an entirely different topic. My mother finds my mother-in-law very "unique" (which she is), and my father has pretty well decided they're all useless and I got the only good one of the lot.

[LibraryLover]

Yes. We've hosted many parties with all present.

 

My fil died a couple of years ago, and my MIL is may years older than my mother, and thinks of her more as a daughter rather than a peer. My mother was very young when I was born, my dh was a 'change of life' babe. ;)

 

Is that TMI? lol At any rate, they are very kind to each other and we are very lucky. My paternal and maternal grandmothers were quite friendly.

Edited June 21, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Melissa in Australia]

My parents and in-laws have met, but my parents are in Australia, my in-laws are in Canada.

 

My in-laws are 30 years older than my parents.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Yes they do. We live in Wyoming and My mom and my MIL and FIL live in Michigan-- they get together all the time!:D

Edited June 21, 2010 by wy_kid_wrangler04

[Joker]

My mom and dh's parents live on opposite coasts so they are not close. When they are in the same area they get together.

 

My brother's inlaws and my family are very close and get together quite often. They are actually some of my greatest friends.

 

ETA: I grew up in a family where both sets of grandparents (my mom's and dad's) were good friends so it seems odd to me that everyone wouldn't get along.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

My MIL and Mom recently started emailing each other. It is totally creeping me out.

 

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5:

[courtney.byrum]

Yes. Fortunately the families blend well and get along... it has made it so much easier over the years to be able to spend time with both families over the holidays rather than always having to trade off.

 

 

This.

 

My parents moved out to live closer to the grandkids when our son was born. They happen to live within 5 minutes of my IL's and get together with them far more often then we see either set of parents! We did move 12 hours away so that might have something to do with it though.

 

I'm glad that my parents and my IL's get along well. It helps when we travel up there for a long weekend to know that we will easily see all the family without worrying about splitting our time much.

[Heather in Neverland]

they see each other at birthday parties for the grandkids but that's about it.

[MyThreeSons]

My parents met my mil once. My fil had passed away before that, and my dad has since passed away. If my mom ever comes here again, we will probably get her over to mil's to say hi. Mil doesn't travel.

[AuntPol]

I chose no. Technically, my parents met my husband's mother and step-dad at wedding but I don't consider spending a few minutes chatting over the course of a few hours "knowing" someone. My parents have never met DH's Dad and Step-Mom. Geographical differences and his mother has never and probably will never visit us.

[Parrothead]

My parents know my in-laws, and they all get along fine, but they would not have sought each other out as friends otherwise. They do end up at parties together, and occasionally see each other at community events, and they visit pleasantly.

 

On another front, my oldest son and his girlfriend are planning to marry in a few years (and I fully believe they will). Girlfriend's mother is one of my best friends, and our families do lots of activities together, including social visits in each other's homes, church activities, etc. I don't think we could be closer than we already are, and if this marriage does come to pass I'm glad that my ds and future dil will have such great combined support from both sides. :001_smile: Holidays will be easy for them because we're all together often as it is!

That will be wonderful for them.

 

That was part of what prompted the poll. The family is asking when we will visit again. It is so discouraging and stressful. I think if both sides would get together somewhere so we didn't have to deal with the guilt trip and the pulling visiting would happen more often.

[cathmom]

I answered other.

 

:lol:

[AHASRADA]

I voted "yes". My parents and in-laws are on different continents and have a major language barrier. Despite this situation (or maybe because of it ;)), they get along extremely well when they do spend time together. They have probably seen each other a dozen times over the years during IL's visits, and all parties seem to enjoy themselves immensely. Mom and MIL like to shop and go out to lunch, etc. (with me along to translate), and laugh hysterically when each tries to use the 2-3 words she knows in the other's language! We have had large family meals together, with my mom hosting Thanksgiving for us all one year when ILs were here.

 

I have BILs and SILs who do live near my parents and, while they are not close friends, they help each other out and offer kindness the way extended family ideally should (moving furniture, minor repairs, house sitting, etc.)

 

At different transitional periods in our married life, dh and I have lived with one set of parents or the other for an extended period, and both greatly appreciate the hospitality and generosity shown to their respective child by that child's ILs.

 

They are reasonably close in age and, despite their widely differing cultural backgrounds, they have a great deal in common re: their childhoods, life path, education, and ethical principals.

 

I am very blessed to have such wonderful parents and in-laws who thoroughly respect each other, are honored to be part of each other's family, and strongly believe that marriage is the joining of two families, not two individuals.

[lionfamily1999]

My parents live in nearly the same town as my in-laws. They politely acknowledge if meeting in the market, but there won't be much social interaction any time soon.

 

Have you been able to mix families and become one?

 

ETA - Yes I know "each other" is not supposed to be a compound word. How I did it twice I'll never know. (Oh, sheesh! Overlook the rest of the typos. It might be time to shut down the computer for the day.)

We all get together. My brother and sister's in-laws come to all my kids' birthday parties and things. We go to all their celebrations.

 

I thought it was normal until I realized how few people have in-laws that even like their families. For us, K's family (my brother's wife) and KB's family (my sister's husband) are all family. I've hung out with all their in-laws and they've, of course, hung out with mine.

[kathkath]

I voted other lol. There has been divorce/remarriage on dh's side so I have 2 sets of ILs. My parents are very gracious but don't really appreciate 1 set of ILs. My parents really blend with the other 1/2 and have included them in our side's family reunions etc and enjoy each other. My parents extend graciousness as far as it is received, and I think their goal is to be one big happy family. Unfortunately the divorce makes that impossible because of the way 1/2 of the ILs are.

 

FWIW My parents have vacationed with my sister's ILs. :auto:

[FaithManor]

My mil lives five miles from us. Fil passed away about seven years ago. Both of my parents are still living and have a home two blocks from us.

 

They are all great friends. I am actually very happy that my mil is living near now because she needed a best friend and my mom did too. They love spending time together. They have very similar interests, canning, sewing, quilting, gardening, world relief projects, and several others. So, they can do all kinds of things together. Usually, we have the Sunday noon meal together at my mom and dad's house. We took a girls only trip last October to a historical village and will be planning something similar again this autumn after the harvest is in.

 

It would be different if dh's dad were still alive. He was much more aloof and somewhat conceited. He felt my parents were "unsophisticated" and since he would have never been willing to leave Florida, the distance would have prevented the growth of any relationship. But, mil is a real gem and she is greatly enjoying her retirement and time spent with my mom. I am very pleased that it has worked out this way.

 

Faith

[Nan in Mass]

We do the big extended family thing GRIN, where my sister's mother-in-law has my mother-in-law to dinner and my brother-in-law goes dancing with her sister-in-law occasionally and my husband, her husband, and her brother-in-law are friends and get together for disc golf (with various children tagging along). There are a few people who live far away, but since the beginning, my in-laws have had Thanksgiving with my sister's in-laws. My husband and I went to the same church, so the families began by being aquaintances. My sister's in-laws lived a few towns over. We all got together when we were young enough that we were still living at home, so the families were forced to get to know one another. My sister's mother-in-law would take her kids to the beach to fly kites and her son would bring his girlfriend (my sister) and she would bring her sister (me) and I would bring my boyfriend and he would bring his brother and next thing you know, we have my sister's mother-in-law and our mother and my father-in-law and my sister's husband's brother's wife's mother all in the kitchen together discussing whose recipe to use for the Thanksgiving turkey's gravy. The more I think about it, the more I think it happened because my sister and I were both under 18 when we started dating our husbands. Some of us couldn't even drive yet. And then it turned out to be fun and so very much easier to have a huge extended family that we all stayed close and didn't move far away.

-Nan

[lisamarie]

Well, I can see that I AM really weird after all. Our parents were friends our whole lives, we practically grew up together. We grew up across town from each other, but when we started dating, my parents moved to the house 2 doors down from my inlaws. When DH and I had been married 4 years, my grandma bought the house in between. Then 3 years ago DH and I bought a house 4 doors down from my parents. So we're all one big happy family and I love it. We celebrate all but Christmas all together because we both have smallish families (about 20 people total). Our parents are best friends.

[Giraffe]

I voted other. My parents have met my MIL once, for a weekend, and they like each other in the polite way strangers that need to get along do so. My parents will probably never meet my FIL as he lives overseas and I know my parents will never go there and it's not likely that FIL will come here anytime soon.

 

So see, there is a way to be "other"!

[mirabillis]

barely know each other, and seldom see each other...

[Mommee & Baba]

Nope. Different sides of the U.S.

[Laurie4b]

My parents and his met at our rehearsal dinner and receptions (we had two because we got married where we live which was 6 hours from where he grew up). Mine don't wish to meet again :0 though it would be unlikely because of distance anyway.