Garga Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I love, love, love being with my kids. I want that to be clear. I mean, I really LOVE being with my kids. But once a year, they go to VBS for 4 hours a day for a week. It's pretty much the only time in the year that I get to be at home all by myself. In my house. In the quiet. ALONE. I can putter around and clean out closets. I can sit and read a book for 4 hours straight. Whatever I want to do! In the house! But this year, DH has off work for two of those days! (Not that he specifically wanted them off--it just works out that he'll have off those days) My precious alone time is now cut to just 3 days! I wait a whole year to be alone for that week! But dh will be there! (And I love dh, but still--is one week a year of a few hours of alone time too much to ask??) I'm disappointed. I mean, really, really disappointed. I want to be alone for my one week! Where can I send dh from 8 - 12 on his two days off?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 IWhere can I send dh from 8 - 12 on his two days off?!? Home Depot? Grocery shopping (with a list!), etc. Maybe tell him how much you needed this time alone? Or, the two of you could do something together? Art museum (my personal choice!)? Maybe you could get out of the house? Heck - I'd go get a massage. Or, manicure. Or, pedicure. Or, haircut. Or, dentist appointment - anything to be alone!! (Kidding on the dentist, BTW!!) Hey- how about you go away for a night if your dh is going to be there!!?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 No, no, no.... you are thinking about this all wrong. Now that DH is there he can deal with taking the kids to and from VBS. Which means that you can go away, for an all day, all night sleepover. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I know they would probably love to have a manly mentor at VBS.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 I just double checked the calendar, and it's not 2 days that he has off work. It's three. I don't want to be out of the house. I cherish my time IN the house, all alone. How often does that ever happen? Never! I mean, sometimes dh will say (because he's a sweetie), "I'll stay home and you go out somewhere." And that's great, but I never (ever, ever) get a time where dh takes the kids out of the house and I can work on a project at home BY MYSELF, uninterrupted. I want to be at home, alone. I just told dh how much I want this time alone, and then felt like a rat for trying to kick him out of the house on his vacation. He said that maybe he'll volunteer to help out with VBS. What a great guy he is. (Guilt is hanging heavy over me....) But I can't let him waste his time off. He doesn't really want to work at VBS. He wants to relax on his days off. I don't want to go out with him. I want to be home alone, so I can blare my 1950's pop music and sing along as loud as I like and work on a project in a frenzy w/o interruption. Garga ~ feeling very selfish right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Is there any way he can switch his time off with someone else? I don't know how these things work, but maybe...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Robyn Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I know how you feel. I like to be alone too. If I somehow lost three of four days out of the whole year when I expected to have alone time I would be upset. I think I would spend one of the days at the art museum with dh as a pp suggested and kick him out for the other two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktog29 Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Can you enjoy the time with him and do lots of date/couple things? THEN, he can give you THREE make-up Saturday mornings of alone time in the house...he can take the kids to breakfast, Home Depot to do the building project, to a movie and to lunch. The best of both worlds. I'm a genius. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Don't know how big your house is - but can you declare the family room off limits and blare your music and work on your project there with no interruptions? Make sure dh knows he's totally on his own for meals so that you don't have to stop to "take care of him". Does dh have something relaxing that he'd like to do in a separate part of the house? Tinkering in the garage? Watching DVDs in his man cave? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Movie tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Man, if that were me I'd KatyBar the door with just dh and me inside the house and the next thing you'd hear is: BrownChickenBrownCow ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I can really really sympathize (or empathize, I mean). I have had those rare occasional days when the kids are somewhere else for at least a few hours. Dh works unpredictable hours. Sometimes he'll come home in the middle of the day. And when it is a day I *thought* I would have home alone, I feel like NOOOOOOO!!! Go away! It's not very nice sounding, but I do get exactly what you mean. Problem is, he may need time just to hang out at home without kids (or you!) too. Maybe if you two can talk about it, you can work something out without stepping on each other's toes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I want to be at home, alone. Me too. But I'm the one at VBS with my kids and everyone else's ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 (edited) No, no, no.... you are thinking about this all wrong. Now that DH is there he can deal with taking the kids to and from VBS. Which means that you can go away, for an all day, all night sleepover. :D :iagree: This is EXACTLY what you should do! Ok, so I posted before reading all the other posts, especially the one about how you want to be home alone. Does your Dh golf? If not, would he like to learn? That could easily take an entire morning if he shot 9 holes. I'd send him on errands one morning, to the movies another, outside in the yard... I'd just be frank with him, and let him know how precious this time is to you and that it doesn't mean anything negative toward him or the kids. That way you won't feel so guilty, and together you can come up with a way to get your time back. I treasure my alone time, so I know how disappointed you feel. I hope something will work out for you! Edited June 9, 2010 by jenL added more info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I would spend some of my free time making more kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punks in Ontario Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Wow! I feel your pain. I lost a weekend that dh and the boys were supposed to be away at Father/son camping a couple of weekends ago. I had a conference to help at, an anniversary, and unexpected company. I was pretty grumpy about it. Last year, my daughter came to stay for the summer which nixed it. Finally, I just had to realize that I needed to face that what is, is. God allowed my alone time to go south, and I needed to just get over it. I'm still looking for some ways to recapture that time. FWIW, I've gotten roped into helping at VBS this year, so that's no help. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Oh my gosh, I'm so jealous--I'd love the time alone OR w/ dh! But VBS is *so* not worth it. Mos of peer pressure & guilt tripping to volunteer, a week of them being up late & eating junk & trying to get dinner ready super early. Not. worth. a. minute. of. it. It's a good thing our church decided not to do VBS this yr, because I'd already decided my family wasn't going. :001_huh: :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Sign him up immediately as a volunteer for VBS!! Quick, quick. I feel the same way sometimes. I just love those days to piddle and when someone volunteers to stay with me, well the steam starts coming out my ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Man, if that were me I'd KatyBar the door with just dh and me inside the house and the next thing you'd hear is: BrownChickenBrownCow ;) :iagree::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I was so-o looking forward to Cub Scout day camp. 5 days, boys gone for 6 hours a day. Little did I know that pack Committee Chairmen (like me) are expected to work the whole week of camp. So, no quiet time, just time with 175 boys. Ugh. Desperately searching for some camp, any camp, to send them to another week this summer. No, wanting some quiet time once a year does not make you a bad mommy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 Can you enjoy the time with him and do lots of date/couple things? THEN, he can give you THREE make-up Saturday mornings of alone time in the house...he can take the kids to breakfast, Home Depot to do the building project, to a movie and to lunch. The best of both worlds. I'm a genius. :D This sounds like the best compromise! Thanks, everyone, for understanding. I don't feel like such a weasel for being so disappointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I totally get it. My 3 dc go to camp on the same week every year for the past 3 years and I can tell you that is such a great week! Not that I don't love my family and LOVE being around them (they are amazing people and even if I wasn't their mom, I'd want to be around them!), but, I love that time to myself. It's super important to me. Can he "volunteer" for VBS? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I don't want to be out of the house. I cherish my time IN the house, all alone. How often does that ever happen? Never! I mean, sometimes dh will say (because he's a sweetie), "I'll stay home and you go out somewhere." And that's great, but I never (ever, ever) get a time where dh takes the kids out of the house and I can work on a project at home BY MYSELF, uninterrupted. I want to be at home, alone. Dh & I have been through this before too. And my sweet, wonderful dh actually got it! Sounds like your does too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I would spend some of my free time making more kids. This comment makes me wish there was a "like" button on posts.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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