If your children have their own computers...

[mycalling]

What limits do you place on it? If it's hooked up to the internet, what type of monitoring do you use? How do you limit their games or mindless time wasting on it?

 

We are looking into get ours computers they can keep upstairs, but since they're home all day, I worry it'll be a constant problem making them do something beside playing games. I was thinking of disconnecting the internet during much of the day and only allowing educational things downloaded on the computers that don't need an internet connection. Would that actually work?

[mrs.m]

My kids share a computer. We use Windows Live Family Safety to keep it locked down. I have to approve websites before they can view them. I have their email locked down too. They can only receive messages from people that they add to their contacts. I monitor contacts online too.

[hsmamainva]

My 18yo is in college, so her computer is in her room...no limits. I don't read her emails...check her history...she's an adult and hasn't given us any reason to worry in the past.

 

The kids' computer is in the school room / dining room, and that's the one the other three kids use. So I know what they're viewing. My youngest is on Nickelodeon 99% of the time.

 

The two boys look for alot of stuff related to their video games (cheat codes and hints and the like).

 

The younger three don't have email addresses or access to chat rooms, etc.

 

As for time spent...my youngest probably spends an hour a day on the computer. My boys spend less time than that. They really don't use it that much. It's more of an "information finder" than anything else.

 

My 18yo spends ALOT of time online! Most of her college homework is submitted online and she chats with her friends from school when she's not actually there.

[Remudamom]

All mine have their own computers, all in the schoolroom. No set limits, no blocks. They don't have them in their rooms just because our schoolroom is the family gathering spot, computers, games, tables, etc.

[Ferdie]

We have one computer that all our children share. It is hooked up to the internet and we use Child Web Guardian to limit internet access. We added a password to the computer after we caught my oldest waking up in the middle of the night to game. So now they have to come to me and I type in the password before they can use it. I am looking forward to the day we don't have to do that.

[happyhomemaker25]

We are getting our 12yo old a laptop for her 13th birthday. I will be kept in our room. When she needs it she will ask for it and she will use it wherever her dad or I happen to be.

We are looking for appropriate blocks.

Thanks, PP, for sharing that link I am passing it on to DH.

[KidsHappen]

My children all have their own computers in their own rooms. We have a secure network, a firewall, virus software and I run Malware every few months but I do not have any blocking software nor do I monitor. They do have rules regarding the kind of sites they are allowed to visit, the info they are allowed to share and what kinds of things to avoid (mostly due to viruses, pop-ups and such) but they only way I know if they are obeying is when I run scans. I do check history when I run scans and have never seen anything that concerns me. I have open access to the younger twos rooms so I can walk in anytime and see what they are doing. The only thing I have ever observed is them listening to inappropriate music, unfotunately they play the same music on the radio. I don't censor the teens (they are older) because I believe that to a certain extent they are entitled to some privacy and I look at a computer much like a journal. I would certainly feel violated if someone was searching my computer or peering over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Public computers are monitored and no one is allowed to use my computer unless I am present. I have all girls so I do worry less than I might if I had sons. Of course, I have had discussions with them regarding the disturbing things that one can run into on the internet and that they have to be careful with what they view because you can not unsee something once you have seen it. I do have a rule of no pornography in my house because I am personally opposed to it and I trust that they will respect my wishes on this issue because they have never given me reason to believe otherwise and seem to be of the same opinion as myself on the issue.

[Cera]

We have macs available for the kids in the office. They are where I can see them and the kids have to ask to use them. They are also only allowed to access the direct links on their desktops (their software and approved sites). Apple has great limiting software if you want to restrict the internet.

[Tree House Academy]

Both of my kids have computers in their rooms. However, neither of them have access to our wireless router (so no internet access unless they use one of our laptops).

 

They have a 1 hour computer limit per day and a 2 hour TV limit per day. More than some people agree with, I am sure. However, most days, they don't hit their limit at all. There is no TV before school, no TV during school hours, no TV during lunch or supper, and no TV after 8pm. That gives them a window of about 4 hours in which to get their computer/TV time in. 99% of the time, we are out and about running errands after school, having a playdate, or doing an extra curricular activitiy. They tend to average an hour a day of TV or Computer total.

[Denise in Florida]

My 16 yo dd has a laptop, other than various spyware/virus blocking, I do not have any set controls. She has not given me any reason to not trust her. Same as for books/movies/tv programs she knows what our standards are and why, and until proven otherwise I do not question her ability to monitor herself.

 

She often comes and discusses things she reads about, so I would say it is a positive. She has on occasion flat out asked why we (as a family) do not permit this or that, her questions do not seem defiant more like clarification. Since she is only years from making such decisions on her own I am comfortable letting her establish her own limits with my guidance.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Honestly, we are more laid back than I guess most people are (and experts suggest). We don't have an issue in terms of content and we've decided that amount of time is a personal choice outside of responsibilities. Once in a blue moon, if I'm sitting in the office, I'll notice tabs, history or whatever. It's rare. We just don't have issues and my kids know I trust them to handle things aright (and the one time there was an issue, ds did just that).

[mrs.m]

I have a good reason for controls for younger children probably 11 and under. Last year, my DD was really into dressing up online dolls. It wasn't a big deal when it was at Disney.com but somewhere along the way she hit a website that installed a chat client on her machine. AND there was a 45 year old man as her only contact! Fortunately he never attempted to chat with her because I noticed it within a few hours and she says she would have come to get me if that happened. It took me forever to uninstall that software too! They locked it into the system.

 

My point is that she didn't go looking for this. She was looking for dolls to dress up and found a site that had some not-so-great content mixed in with some stuff she liked. She was just being naive and didn't catch on because nothing made her uncomfortable. So it's the jerks on the internet that install stupid stuff on our machines that I won't trust! For now my kids are too young. When they become teenagers, I will probably losen up a bit.

[chaik76]

My eight-year old has had a computer since he was three. It is connected to the internet, and a lot of games he plays are on the internet. The computer is in the living room and we can see him when he is on it. He also uses it for school work. There are no limits on the computer, or any programs to track stuff or anything like that. We just watch. If we put the computer somewhere where we weren't constantly able to view it, we wouldn't have internet on it.

[mamaneale]

My 11yo just bought his own laptop in November after working and saving for three years. We use BeSecure as a filter, not because we don't trust our son, but because we don't trust everyone else. He gets to play computer games only on Saturdays, but during the week he uses his laptop for animating his own movies, learning computer programming, and, in general, playing with the programs that he has. So far, so good. :)

[iquilt]

My kids share a Mac. It had built in parental controls. Each kid has his/her own password and time limits plus they are limited to only a certain list of websites.

[Aoife]

My 12 yo DSD has a laptop we spent over a week locking it down and use a firefox add on called glubble which does a nice job. :) Basically it takes over and requires a parent's password for any site that has not been added to the "safe list". It is a free add on/program that you can google for. It als has a family and friends chat function. Kids can chat with anyone on their network with a wall system like facebook. There are also a ton of free safe game sites already on the list too :)

[my2kidsmom]

My 11 yr. old dd has a laptop that is hers. She usually keeps it in her room. We have antivirus and spyware, etc. on it. She taps into the wireless router. She is free to chat with approved friends (only 2) and she is active in a message board (which I check from time to time). I also check and spot read chats and emails on her system. She asks permission before she googles or goes looking on wikipedia for anything. She also ask permission before looking up anything on youtube. She is very aware of internet safety and our rules and thank God, she follows the rules (at least for now). I pray that she is safe and makes wise decisions. She is allowed online when she has taken care of her responsibilities with school and home.

 

It really depends on your relationship with you children and their level of trust and responsibility.

[Misty]

My two oldest children have their own laptops.. We use http://www.sentryparentalcontrols.com It allows you to control computer usage and internet usage and it logs every site your child visits and how long.

[Peela]

Mine are older and have had their own computers for years. We dont have any special filters or anything. They have never had a computer in their bedroom till my son recently got his games computer in his bedroom so that we could have a guest room- but his bedroom is situated such that we know when he is on the computer- we walk past it to get to our bedrooms- and he knows the hours he is allowed to use it.

The rest of our computers- mine and the kids' - are in our school area, facing so that we can always see what is on the screens. We also insist on being friends with them on Facebook. MSN got a bit out of hand for a while during schooltime as other homeschooled friends would send messages while they were also supposed to be doing their schoolwork. I had to get them to turn off their MSNs during the school day.

I think it's just an issue of out times and we are the generation that needs to learn to deal with it. We are having to make adjustments, negotiations and give consequences regularly, and issues like porn have ocasionally come up but nothing that hasnt been resolvable with discussion.

[Laura Corin]

My boys are allowed limited screen time (about three hours a week of computer/games time and two hours of TV). They can ask for more time for research, etc. The computers are not allowed in bedrooms and (as they are laptops) they get locked away when I can't supervise.

 

Laura

[Carrie12345]

My kids share a lap top. It's kept in the main living area, but ds sometimes takes it into his room for school related research if the other kids are distracting him. There are no controls on it, but we have set verbal limits.

 

The 3 "big" kids have email addresses. My 11yo asks permission whenever he wants to try a new website (we had an issue last year, and he's stuck to the rules since then, knowing he could lose computer privileges if he doesn't) and lets me know when he needs to Google or wants to use Wiki. The girls mostly stick to Nickelodeon sites, Littlest Pet Shop, and Webkinz. My 2yo likes "Thomas W W W".

 

We don't have official time limits, but having to share brings built-in limitations. When they ask to use it (for fun), I might give them anywhere from 10-30 minutes each. That could be once or three times a day depending on what's going on.

[meet me in paris]

Mine don't have their own computers yet, but there's one computer per person here, so everyone has pretty open access.

 

That said, we use K9 web protection, and I love it. Nasty ads are blocked, suspicious websites/malware, etc. are all blocked. It's free, and I don't have to worry at all about them accidentally getting into something yucky.

[Parrothead]

Dd has her own computer, but it is not in her room. There won't be computer usage in any room other than the public rooms of the house.

 

She is just figuring out how to Google. I do have Norton parental control on the thing.

 

We are one of those families that does not limit electronics. I feel that it creates a fascination if it is forbidden most of the time. At 10 everything we have is old hat, even the new Wii. This morning dd was on her computer for about 40 minutes then came to me and said, "If you need me I'll be in my room." (how cute.)

 

But you will have to find the boundaries that work best for your kids.

[mycalling]

Thanks for sharing how things are in your families. It's nice to hear of children who monitor themselves and limit themselves on the computer.

 

Right now we allow game time on weekends and it's non-stop kids rotating on computers Friday night through Sunday. It's good to hear they will emerge from their computer caves voluntarily one day if given free reign.;)