Lower standards in homeschooling

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Nestof3]

I would actually be happy to see *more* homeschoolers doing just math and reading. What I see often are homeschoolers who don't do math and reading much at all, but do find time for a huge history program and science experiments all the time. :001_smile: Then they get to HS and can't figure out why dc stall out in science (no math) or aren't able to read high school literature (no skills.)

 

I know that's not what you meant, and I'm not quibbling over your words (hasn't there been enough of that on these boards lately? *grin*) Your post just sparked that thought...

 

I agree with you that this would be a great educational start. I think your idea of "math and reading" is quite different than the reality of which I speak. Algebra is the highest high school math, math is practical things like measuring in baking or woodworking, and reading is often not begun until the child is double-digits.

 

Again, these families have their vision, their convictions, their time limits. I am not writing these things to be critical of their choices but to say that I identify with the feeling of not knowing how to respond and not feeling a strong connection in regard to educational philosophy.

 

I'm sure I am fortunate in that the boys had no difficulty learning to read, and K-3 math has been a breeze. I cannot imagine only having time for that -- even doing so on a consistent basis.

Edited October 8, 2009 by nestof3

[LibraryLover]

My kids are older than some on this forum, so I know college kids who were unschoolers and are doing well in life & college. I know an unschooled child who got a scholarship to study abroad, even. I know another in law school. So what might look like nothing to some, isn't always. Things are not always as they appear. Living a life in a less traditional way does not mean you're doing 'nothing'.

[fivetails]

i'm another one that thinks it is none of my business how other families choose to homeschool. We enjoy the freedom of doing what we think is best for our children and i respect other family's freedom to do the same.

 

It has been a journey for me to arrive at this conclusion, but i now view homeschooling my children in the same way i view my freedom to practice whatever religion i choose however i choose and raise my children from that pov.

 

I wouldn't want my religious freedom regulated in order to curb another person's freedom from a religious practice with which i disagree, don't understand, or simply wouldn't be interested in practicing. Likewise, i wouldn't want my homeschooling regulated in order to curb another person's freedom to homeschool in a way with which i disagree, don't understand, or simply wouldn't be interested in practicing.

 

Hth-

mandy

 

excellent post! :D

[hornblower]

My kids are older than some on this forum, so I know college kids who were unschoolers and are doing well in life & college. I know an unschooled child who got a scholarship to study abroad, even. I know another in law school. So what might look like nothing to some, isn't always. Things are not always as they appear. Living a life in a less traditional way does not mean you're doing 'nothing'.

 

:iagree:

 

Maybe it's because I have 2 of those kids who were "ILLITERATE" (!!!! Gee, could we choose a more loaded word?) until double digits. And no, they were never psych-ed tested and no, I don't really consider them ld kids. They're just kids who are wired to learn certain things later.

 

I think this is another thread in which some people can feel self-righteously indignant by clucking over some other people's parenting and educational choices.

 

I'm sure there are some parents who are downright negligent - in all levels of care for their children, not just education. And really, those families will probably run afoul of social services soon.

 

Maybe it's because the west coast is so hippie but most of the veteran homeschoolers here were hard core unschoolers. It's not a philosophy I can truly embrace but I'm not out to villify it either like some seem to be.

 

I'm sure many of us don't inspire or motivate our kids to their fullest potentials in every singly realm. I don't actually think it's possible to do this. There will always be shortfalls. And it's possible that one family is stuffing their kids full of the entire WTM suggestions + MORE + sports + violin + chess club .... and creating a sad, unhappy adult who always feels insecure & stressed & has a deep lying anxiety that they're not smart enough to please Mama. I'm not saying this of anyone here - I don't know you, so nobody take this personally. But I've known kids who were pushed very, very hard (more than 1/2 of my sample size are kids from Chinese families) and these kids burned out hard and some of them are very unhappy adults. They were the products of public and private schools but I see the same mechanism in certain home school set ups.... It's the psychology of the parenting that's more important here, than the actual location of the learning.

 

Maybe the laid back relaxed learner, who is happy, confident, kind and secure in their ability to catch up if necessary, and learn what they need, when they need to, will be a happier, more 'successful' adult.

 

I don't know. I suspect it's not an either/or, but rather a spectrum.

 

I do know that I'm deeply uncomfortable with what come across as snooty judgemental attitudes to other family's choices.

[ereks mom]

I understand if you have young kids. But the mom I was referring to had kids with a wide range of ages. Mom arranged play dates and brought her teens along to watch the younger kids while she talked with other moms.

[ereks mom]

I would NEVER call you a slacker!

[angela in ohio]

I'm sure there are some parents who are downright negligent - in all levels of care for their children, not just education. And really, those families will probably run afoul of social services soon.

 

There are, and they don't.

 

We really need to be able talk about negligent homeschool parents without unschoolers and relaxed homeschoolers taking offense. If you don't know anyone who is truly negligent in their homeschooling, then you are fortunate. It is not unschooling, and it is not letting dc go at their own pace. There is a huge difference between a homeschooling philosophy, well-thought-out and purposeful, that allows for a slower pace or child-directed studies, and "meh, we just didn't get around to homeschooling this year."

[inactive]

Along the lines of the other thread about this, tell me, what do you say to your homeschooling friends who are doing so much less . . . the same history book for the 3rd year, or elementary math with the highschooler (to cover all the basics), or the high schoolers who have never written as much as a paragraph. (And I am not talking about learning disabilities here.) The ones who are happy to give home ec credit for cooking dinner and doing laundry and not pushing their girls because they just want them to be wives? The ones who don't push their sons because they were never "good at math or science anyway."

 

One word = NOTHING!! It isn't my job to judge someone else...that is solely between them and God. They will answer to Him for whatever choices they make...whether good or bad.

 

What do you say when they call you the overachiever? :glare:

 

Two words = Thank you!!

[inactive]

 

I think this is another thread in which some people can feel self-righteously indignant by clucking over some other people's parenting and educational choices.

 

I do know that I'm deeply uncomfortable with what come across as snooty judgemental attitudes to other family's choices.

 

:iagree:

[Melinda in VT]

We're slackers.

 

For the last month we have done little in the way of academics. We had to unexpectedly tear down half our house which involved disconnecting and moving our plumbing, electricity, phone line, and propane line since they all came into the part of the house that we tore down. We had to take out the furnace and all the ductwork (we still have no furnace). This has left little time for cracking open the books, since we did all this work ourselves. In the process my kids have learned about wiring, have sweated plumbing pipes, replaced a heating element on a water heater, dug ditches, operated the transit to take elevations for the new septic line, learned how to take down a house safely, and tons and tons of other stuff. I have absolutely no guilt about setting aside the books for now.

 

It sounds like you are incorporating your kids right into the project and they are working and learning along with you.

 

In situations like yours, my unfortunate reaction to the stress is to plop the kids in front of electronic media so I can focus on the crisis. :tongue_smilie:

[Saille]

Honestly, most of our friends from church are like this. I don't say a thing. They have totally different expectations for their children. I just enjoy the other things they have to teach me, and their children are a delight to be around.

 

But, it is lonely not being able to discuss educational things with them. I have other friends that meet those needs in me. And, this lonliness is what brings me to this forum.

 

ITA with this. And I think it answers the question people tend to raise of why we stick around when debates can get so heated...we're all used to being rampant individualists. I'm willing to work through conflicts and agree to disagree about a whole lot of things in the interest of having one place on the internet where I can talk/read/think about WTM and classical ed. and people actually get it.

 

Everyone's fairly "to each his own" around here, but the only other person I know IRL doing Latin, let alone Greek, is dragons in the flower bed. I'm awfully lucky to know her.

[Greta]

I think this is another thread in which some people can feel self-righteously indignant by clucking over some other people's parenting and educational choices.

 

...unschoolers. It's not a philosophy I can truly embrace but I'm not out to villify it either like some seem to be.

 

I didn't get the impression that anyone was referring to unschooling (but maybe I missed something). There is a world of difference between the radical unschooling families that I know, and those few who are simply negligent (and incidentally, do not call themselves unschoolers). My unschooling friends work very hard at strewing and at facilitating the pursuit of their children's interests. They have chosen their method purposely and thoughtfully, and they approach it with a willful energy.

 

But that's a whole different ballgame from those families in which the mom simply can't be bothered!

 

With the former, I may not agree with their choice, but I respect it. And it's very plain to see that it was a choice based upon what they felt was best for their children.

 

With the latter, it strikes me not so much as a conscious choice, but more of a passive floating along, and one that is not rooted in what is believed to be best for the children, but simply what's easiest.

[Nestof3]

:iagree:

 

Maybe it's because I have 2 of those kids who were "ILLITERATE" (!!!! Gee, could we choose a more loaded word?) until double digits. And no, they were never psych-ed tested and no, I don't really consider them ld kids. They're just kids who are wired to learn certain things later.

 

 

 

Hornblower, it is always difficult to talk about things like this because I really don't want to come on here and badmouth and give detailed descriptions of other peoples' lives. I do feel a disconnect with the mom whose 11 year old daughter wants to read but the mom doesn't have time to teach her. I need to be able to say that without every unschooling, eclectic person taking offense to that. I personally love reading all sorts of educational philosophies and love reading about unschoolers. I am not a person who sees one educational path as valid.

 

I think a lot of what I am seeing in homeschool families is that they stress character and work ethic above everything else (and so do I, really), but because of their family size and other factors, there really remains very little time for anything beyond domestic things. I've been told that they believe character and the Hebrew model, including a focus on scripture, is their main focus, and any remaining time is spent on "traditional" subjects.

 

It is hard finding the time to homeschool just two children, exercise daily, prepare meals and keep the house tidy.

[LibraryLover]

I didn't get the impression that anyone was referring to unschooling (but maybe I missed something). There is a world of difference between the radical unschooling families that I know, and those few who are simply negligent (and incidentally, do not call themselves unschoolers). My unschooling friends work very hard at strewing and at facilitating the pursuit of their children's interests. They have chosen their method purposely and thoughtfully, and they approach it with a willful energy.

 

But that's a whole different ballgame from those families in which the mom simply can't be bothered!

 

With the former, I may not agree with their choice, but I respect it. And it's very plain to see that it was a choice based upon what they felt was best for their children.

 

With the latter, it strikes me not so much as a conscious choice, but more of a passive floating along, and one that is not rooted in what is believed to be best for the children, but simply what's easiest.

 

 

I wasn't offended, and we are very relaxed here. My kids are really smart and together, and we have a pretty harmonious family life, considering we have 2 teens. :) I'm not worried what anyone might think about what we are doing or not doing.

 

But. If we are going to discuss hs parents who 'aren't teaching anything', can we also discuss hs parents who are emotionally wrecking their kids a as they well-fry their minds before they are even out of the grammar stage? 6 year olds brought to tears over forced essay writing and copy work? 4 yr olds getting spanked because they are wiggly? Those families exist as well.

 

Do we really know what goes on in another family's home so well that we feel it's important to talk here about how they are doing wrong by their kids, no matter their philosophy of life/education?

[LaxMom]

I didn't get the impression that anyone was referring to unschooling (but maybe I missed something). There is a world of difference between the radical unschooling families that I know, and those few who are simply negligent (and incidentally, do not call themselves unschoolers). My unschooling friends work very hard at strewing and at facilitating the pursuit of their children's interests. They have chosen their method purposely and thoughtfully, and they approach it with a willful energy.

 

But that's a whole different ballgame from those families in which the mom simply can't be bothered!

 

With the former, I may not agree with their choice, but I respect it. And it's very plain to see that it was a choice based upon what they felt was best for their children.

 

With the latter, it strikes me not so much as a conscious choice, but more of a passive floating along, and one that is not rooted in what is believed to be best for the children, but simply what's easiest.

I completely agree with this. I lead an umbrella group created specifically to be unschooling friendly, and I am very comfortable with unschoolers, though our styles are very different. Quite frankly, I am too lazy to successfully unschool. (And I have control issues)

 

The comparison reminds me of everybody here being up in arms over a judge issuing warrants for parents in one county to have their kids vaccinated, on a Saturday, at the courthouse (or be arrested). The parents receiving these warrants were not the ones who exercised their parental right to opt out of vaccination; they were the ones who received the multiple letters (phone calls, notes) from the school, ignored them and, when their kid couldn't go to school until it was done, just let them stay out and run the streets or whatever. Just too d@mn lazy/dumb/disinterested to do it. That's really not the same as conscientious objection or stylistic difference.

[calandalsmom]

I wasn't offended, and we are very relaxed here. My kids are really smart and together, and we have a pretty harmonious family life, considering we have 2 teens. :) I'm not worried what anyone might think about what we are doing or not doing.

 

But. If we are going to discuss hs parents who 'aren't teaching anything', can we also discuss hs parents who are emotionally wrecking their kids a as they well-fry their minds before they are even out of the grammar stage? 6 year olds brought to tears over forced essay writing and copy work? 4 yr olds getting spanked because they are wiggly? Those families exist as well.

 

Do we really know what goes on in another family's home so well that we feel it's important to talk here about how they are doing wrong by their kids, no matter their philosophy of life/education?

 

 

applause.:iagree:

[Greta]

But. If we are going to discuss hs parents who 'aren't teaching anything', can we also discuss hs parents who are emotionally wrecking their kids a as they well-fry their minds before they are even out of the grammar stage? 6 year olds brought to tears over forced essay writing and copy work? 4 yr olds getting spanked because they are wiggly? Those families exist as well.

 

Perfectly valid point. I joined my homeschool group for a specific set of reasons, but the unintended consequence is that I'm around those whose approach to homeschooling is much more relaxed than mine. So I simply have not been around the kind of homeschoolers you mention here, though I don't doubt they're out there. And I'm sure they're probably harming their kids as much as those who are neglecting them. And I hope I'm not coming across like I think I'm the perfect parent and teacher. Far from it! I've made so many mistakes, and unfortunately will probably make many more.

 

Do we really know what goes on in another family's home so well that we feel it's important to talk here about how they are doing wrong by their kids, no matter their philosophy of life/education?

 

No, you're right. Point well taken. I would not give specifics about the people I know, because I do feel that's inappropriate (even if I did omit the names). And while on the one hand I agree with you that it isn't my place to judge anyone else's life, on the other hand I was given the power of discernment (to some degree anyway!) and for the good of my family I have to put it to use. I believe very strongly that the people we spend time with have a *huge* influence on us. So I chose to spend time with those families whose influence I feel will be something in accordance with my own goals and vision for my family and my life.

 

But I am speaking here of people I know on a face-to-face basis, and not those here on the boards. And I'm also not trying to say that I'm such a snob that I won't befriend people who are different. I'm having a hard time finding the right words. I truly do try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and not to judge, and my husband says that one of the things he loves about me but that also gives him fits sometimes is that I only see the best in people! But experience has taught me that I have to be careful and set boundaries, and occasionally, simply excuse myself from someone's life. Whatever their reasons for their choices, however valid they may be, it might not be the best idea for me to get too close. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm really stumbling through this conversation!

[amy g.]

I wasn't offended, and we are very relaxed here. My kids are really smart and together, and we have a pretty harmonious family life, considering we have 2 teens. :) I'm not worried what anyone might think about what we are doing or not doing.

 

But. If we are going to discuss hs parents who 'aren't teaching anything', can we also discuss hs parents who are emotionally wrecking their kids a as they well-fry their minds before they are even out of the grammar stage? 6 year olds brought to tears over forced essay writing and copy work? 4 yr olds getting spanked because they are wiggly? Those families exist as well.

 

Do we really know what goes on in another family's home so well that we feel it's important to talk here about how they are doing wrong by their kids, no matter their philosophy of life/education?

 

I could not agree more. We have focused on healthy relationships, lifelong learning, emotional balance and health, work ethic and strength of character.

 

My teens are doing so well in their academics in spite of my less is more approach, and they are so enjoyable to be around.

 

I don't get defensive when I hear how many hours a day others are putting into school. I just think that perhaps my children have more natural ability, and less need for constant repetition.

 

If homeschooling is a marathon, how is it that some feel comfortable judging others mid race?

 

I'm saddened by the people who push themselves and their kids to the point where they end up hating each other and quit homeschooling because of the constant conflict.

 

Thanks, but no thanks.

[Miss Marple]

What do you say when they call you the overachiever?

 

That is usually said to me in a derogatory manner, so I just blow it off knowing that I obviously make the speaker uncomfortable. If it is said in a positive manner, the speaker usually continues asking questions.

 

I have found that the homeschooling community around here is quite diverse. We have true unschoolers whose kids do great, we have rigorous homeschoolers who do well, and we have those who believe that their kids will eventually *want* to learn so they don't do anything formal with them until then. Unfortunately those in the last group tend to never get around to doing much.

 

I don't tend to associate with the latter group because in just about all aspects of life, we are too different. We probably would not be close anyways. The problem comes in when I am asked to teach Sunday School or VBS and those kids are in my class. The lack of reading ability (I'm talking upper elementary/junior high) and comprehension makes teaching difficult.

 

Another situation that I've encountered is that these parents typically realize during late elementary/junior high that Bessie just isn't *wanting* to learn and they decide that she needs structured teaching. They then contact our co-op (college prep courses) wanting to enroll their "very bright" student. Then they are offended when they are shown the list of criteria that the student must be proficient in in order to enroll in a certain class. They seem to think that all homeschoolers are like themselves (probably because they tend to associate only with those like themselves), and think we are just elitists.

 

It seems that the homeschooling community is a cross-section of humanity just like the public schoolers. In public school there are kids who do well because their parents are involved and realize they are a necessary factor in their student's education; and there are other families who just park the kid at the bus stop and don't have any involvement in his education. While I wish all homeschoolers took their responsibility to educate seriously, I don't think it will ever happen - just because of human nature. It's sad, though, because homeschoolers are under the microscope of the public eye.

[AlmiraGulch]

:iagree:

I don't know. I suspect it's not an either/or, but rather a spectrum.

 

I do know that I'm deeply uncomfortable with what come across as snooty judgemental attitudes to other family's choices.

 

I was reading this and thinking "Brava!" and fully in agreement, until I realized....wait...I think I might have been (may still be at some level) one of those people.

 

My experience with home schoolers has always been quite limited, but my impressions have never been particularly positive (ironic that I'm one of them now, isn't it?). One of my sister's has always home schooled her children, but I have never, ever heard her talk about schooling or education. Outside activities? Constant. They are extremely involved in sports, church activities, other stuff, and all that is great. But actual school work? I just don't know... When I decided to take this path for my daughter, my sister couldn't even have much of a conversation with me about curriculum. She has been at it for nearly 13 years, I'm brand new, and it seemed to me that I knew a lot more about options, styles and philosophies than she.

 

My honest opinion has always been that she chose to home school her children because she was too lazy to get up in the morning and take them to school. I must admit I still believe that to be true. Her oldest is about to be 18 and has pretty much quit school. She hates it and will be taking the GED exam. Her youngest is 15 and has, from what I understand, just started at an online accredited school because he wants to go to a military academy. The thing is....they both seem like really smart, really well-adjusted kids! So, while my parents may still think they will both fail because they have not had any apparent actual education (although we don't really know because we don't live with them), I'm thinking I've been radically misjudging the situation over the years and....well...it's just none of my business anyway. They are not neglected in any way and seem to be doing just great.

 

Similary, one of my cousin's home schooled his children and they had to end up going to public school to learn to read and do basic arithmetic.

 

As for me? I think I've selected rigorous curricula for my daughter and she seems to be doing quite well this year, but for all I know I'm screwing her up entirely because my standards are too high and maybe she thinks she can never meet them, so she'll have to go to years of counseling to get over how her mother was a brow beater.

 

The moral of the story? We never know what is really going on in someone else's home, what their intentions are, or even what the outcome of any education (or seemingly lack thereof) will be. I have to remind myself of this as I stuggle to get my own judgements in check, and I really appreciate conversations like this to serve as a reminder to myself to do just that.

[angela in ohio]

But. If we are going to discuss hs parents who 'aren't teaching anything', can we also discuss hs parents who are emotionally wrecking their kids a as they well-fry their minds before they are even out of the grammar stage? 6 year olds brought to tears over forced essay writing and copy work? 4 yr olds getting spanked because they are wiggly? Those families exist as well.

 

But then parents of gifted kids will get upset, even though it isn't referring to them. ;) :D

 

I see both ends of the spectrum, but then I am around a LOT of homeschoolers. I know some kiddos being neglected, and I know some being miserably marched through material two grade levels ahead of their age because mom has pride issues.

[sweetbasil]

Standards is a subjective term.

 

Saying that others have "lower standards" clearly implies that one's own standards are the measure, and those who do not meet them are inferior.

 

I in NO way think academics are more important than character. What is it to gain the whole world and lose one's soul? If I accomplish NOTHING other than the healthy formation of my children's characters, I will consider my work successful. Academics are important, but they are not MOST important.

 

Furthermore, I don't spend any mental energy on judging others' paths. I am responsible for MY family and I joyfully allow others the FREEDOM to pursue their own paths as well. Not everyone needs to or should go to college. Practicing a trade is not "less" than pursuing higher education. (Especially given the horrifying state of our educational system, including 99% of public and private colleges.)

 

The tone of many on this thread is highly disturbing to me. I see incredible elitism, self-righteousness, and arrogance reflected in many posts. Be aware your children may be picking up on these attitudes.

 

I personally follow a "more rigorous" academic path than some of my friends. I love them and trust that their choices are best for their families. I do NOT look down upon them. I do NOT think my way is superior. I do NOT think they need to be more like me.

 

These families are turning out wonderful children who are clear thinking, hard-working, and a blessing to those they meet. THOSE qualities are in short supply.

[6packofun]

Amen to that! Very well said.

[SquirrellyMama]

Standards is a subjective term.

 

Saying that others have "lower standards" clearly implies that one's own standards are the measure, and those who do not meet them are inferior.

 

I in NO way think academics are more important than character. What is it to gain the whole world and lose one's soul? If I accomplish NOTHING other than the healthy formation of my children's characters, I will consider my work successful. Academics are important, but they are not MOST important.

 

Furthermore, I don't spend any mental energy on judging others' paths. I am responsible for MY family and I joyfully allow others the FREEDOM to pursue their own paths as well. Not everyone needs to or should go to college. Practicing a trade is not "less" than pursuing higher education. (Especially given the horrifying state of our educational system, including 99% of public and private colleges.)

 

The tone of many on this thread is highly disturbing to me. I see incredible elitism, self-righteousness, and arrogance reflected in many posts. Be aware your children may be picking up on these attitudes.

 

I personally follow a "more rigorous" academic path than some of my friends. I love them and trust that their choices are best for their families. I do NOT look down upon them. I do NOT think my way is superior. I do NOT think they need to be more like me.

 

These families are turning out wonderful children who are clear thinking, hard-working, and a blessing to those they meet. THOSE qualities are in short supply.

 

Thank you! I have been trying to reply to this thread several times but have deleted it everytime. You said it so well. Thank you!

[lionfamily1999]

Along the lines of the other thread about this, tell me, what do you say to your homeschooling friends who are doing so much less . . . the same history book for the 3rd year, or elementary math with the highschooler (to cover all the basics), or the high schoolers who have never written as much as a paragraph. (And I am not talking about learning disabilities here.) The ones who are happy to give home ec credit for cooking dinner and doing laundry and not pushing their girls because they just want them to be wives? The ones who don't push their sons because they were never "good at math or science anyway."

 

There are so very few people I can talk to about homeschooling anymore. My definition is not the same as theirs. It's funny that over the years, my homeschooling friends are still my friends, but we talk less and less about homeschooling.

 

What do you say when they call you the overachiever? :glare:

 

Joan

Usually I'll say something like... how are you doing? How're the kids? Then let it turn into a conversation about whatever is interesting or current.

 

The ones that call me an overachiever, or more likely, tell me I'm pushing the boys too hard, get a gushing commentary on how incredible it is how quickly kids can learn things and how amazing it is to see their brains just soak in the knowledge like a sponge.

 

I have recommended TWTM to hsing friends who ASKED me for advice, but I would not assume they care about an evaluation of their hsing techniques from me :)

[LibraryLover]

Wait...there are two threads on the exact same topic.

[Ester Maria]

I don't consider myself responsible of other people's choices, nor invited to criticize those unless I'm directly asked by them to state my opinion. That's the first thing I need to clear up on, to avoid the etiquette of "elitism" and "snobbery" for what I'm about to write - I don't preach other people what to do, I don't consider my own standards an absolute measure of anything, and I do as well take into account that many paths can lead to the same goal (it's a cliche, but true!) - the formation of a HAPPY (the MOST important thing in my opinion!), healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally - and spiritually for those of you who are religious), calm and well-behaved, ethical and sensitive individual, with knowledge and skills needed to operate within their own field as well as general education outside of that.

So, I definitely don't think MY way of trying to accomplish that is the ONLY one.

 

HOWEVER, I am NOT going into TOO MUCH relativizing. As much as I dislike the egocentrism of considering one's standards an absolute, I equally dislike running into various intellectually dishonest relativizations, and the tyrrany of relativizations is as present in our society as is imposing one's own standards as a rule. Therefore, I will state what's my honest opinion of the matter with regards to that too, since I don't think it's "all equal but different" in ALL cases. And while I allow other people to pursue their educational philosophies, I don't think some things should be done if child's education suffers, or will suffer on the long run, with regards to the academic content they should have mastered at some age.

 

There ARE families which, by any normal standards, undereducate their children. Learning disabilities aside, I can't accept as "normal" fundamental illitaracy in your native language at the two-digits age or dealing with what's usually 6th grade math in 10th grade.

In my opinion, homeschooling should be about giving MORE than your children would get in a regular school. That's the reason why I do it - and if I thought for a second that their education would be of LOWER quality by me, I would send them to school right away, not kidding. I think that I, as a parent, need to give to my children the most I can, and if I can't meet their needs or teach them at the level high enough - somebody else can.

I think there are some - albeit vague - standards of what's normal knowing at what age, school-wise, and I think parents should at least meet them, if not overpass.

 

Only my two cents, though.

[Desert Rat]

I say, "Thank you!" as though it's a compliment. To my mind, it is, regardless of the speaker's intent.

Cat

 

This is what I would do, although I don't know anyone IRL that is guilty of not doing the best they can, educationally, for their children. I do agree there are probably a lot out there and that they do contribute to giving homeschooling a black eye.