Were you ready....

[Tabrett]

to manage a household when you got married?

 

I've been thinking about this a lot since my oldest dd is a teen. I'm not the kind of person who advocates that a girl should not go to college. I went to college and loved, loved, loved it. I hope every person who wants to go can have that experience.

 

But on the other hand...

 

I have felt like I have been "winging" the management of my home for 18 years and it is really starting to show.

 

I can read and follow any recipe in a cookbook, but I don't know how to implement or manage a kitchen. How to stock a pantry, how to organize meals. What kinds of veggies to cook with what meats to make things balanced. When to start cooking what so it is all ready at the same time.:001_huh:

If someone was to give me a whole chicken, I would honestly be at a loss as to what to do with it other than put in in a pan and bake it. But, I can do basic Algebra!?!?!?:D

If it wasn't for prepackaged foods, a microwave and drive throughs, I'm afraid my family would starve!

 

I'm not good at organizing cleaning. I don't know how much of what to use to clean with, I just dump it in! I don't know what to use to clean what. I just use glass cleaner for everything! I don't when to clean what to keep it all clean. I normally have a cleaning binge and then don't want to clean for a long time because it took me so long to get it clean in the first place. But I can direct a choir......

 

I know very little first aide. I could give you violin lessons......

 

If it weren't for working in a daycare when I was 18, I would have had no idea how to take care of a baby. This is the only thing I think I've got down pat! Real hands on experience!

 

I have read lots of book on the subjects above, but can't seem to get anything implemented. I have never seen someone implement running a household. My GM (grandmother) who raised me worked all day and I would just make myself microwave meals and do a general clean of the house on Saturday mornings. It wasn't necessary to have a cleaning plan when you have 2 people to clean after.

 

I can do literary analysis, write a paper, teach a class. I'm really good a researching! I'm a pretty good teacher.

 

But I feel that I am very lacking in running my household. What I NEED to be doing. I wish I could go live with a person who knows how to do all this to get real experience!

 

How does a person teach their dc to manage a household when they are so busy with school (dd is in ps) and extra curricular activities. I feel like we, as a society, has swung so far to one side of the pole with academics, that there is no way to teach someone household management skills. My dd's high school doesn't even teach home economics or shop.

 

There has got to be a way to do all these things in a way that doesn't cause a person to die of overworking!:D People long ago did much more.

 

I just can't seem to figure it out.

Edited August 26, 2009 by Tabrett

[DawnM]

Well, I would say you are doing very well.

 

Was I ready to manage a household? Well, that certainly depends on whose definition of manage a household you are referring to!

 

I worked full time for the first 9 years of our marriage and I fully intended on working full time until I became retirement age. My plans DID NOT include making my own bread, stockpiling food, sewing, cooking (more than basic), etc....

 

Now, finances I am very good at managing and always have been. I am also very good at organizing, teaching, and planning vacations to Disney World :lol:

 

I also got married at 29.

 

Dawn

[Danestress]

Dh, a widow, and his 6 year old son.

 

I really didn't know how to truly "manage" a household the way you describe it, and I am not sure that I do now. Our house is relatively tidy most of the time, though if you catch me on a bad day, maybe not so much. I had a mother who was a good housekeeper but she never let me get involved in any of it because everything had to be "just right" and she couldn't stand the process of helping someone learn that.

 

I personally feel like I have adequately learned what I need to know. I manage someone to keep sheets on beds and have the house vacuumed, dust when needed and prepare meals. I really don't think it's something I needed classes on. Finances are harder - I definitely think kids should be required to take a few hours of personal finances/economics training. We gradually moved up from a small (900 sq foot) house to a large (3600 sq. foot) one, and I guess I learned about keeping things organized and clean as we went. I don't know much about gardening and wish I did.

 

I'm not even sure what a good pantry stocking system would look like, other than that when things are on sale, I stock up on them, and I have all our favorite recipes mentally stored so that I can keep what we need on hand for emergency meals. I guess if that's a system, I have one. If it's not a system, it seems to work fine for us.

 

I really think being a good mother and wife is more about personality, temperment and self-control than about having housekeeping skills above the basics of knowing what is "clean" and how to get it and knowing how to eat properly. I'll take a woman who is gentle, thoughtful, fun-loving, reasonable, rational, and able to teach violin and do algebra ANY DAY over a woman with a great pantry system and chicken preparation skills who is picky and complaining or moody or emotionally needy.

 

If I had a daughter, and I don't, I certainly would teach her basic cooking and cleaning lessons (as I do my sons, sort of) but I would pay much more attention to character than those particular skills. I would want rigorous academics and a lot of training in self control, kindness, courage, logic, and tongue biting. If you don't have those things, it's very very hard to get them. Of course, some kids are easier personality-wise than others.

 

Learning to organize a pantry? I guess I have about 30 years left to learn that:)

[FourOaks]

Good post!! I think about this a lot as well. I have 4 girls and this is one thing that I think is very important in their schooling. As each one enters her teen years, I plan to start really focussing on working with each one individually on home management skills:

grocery lists

food savings

natural cooking

baking

food prep

kitchen organization, etc

laundry skills (they all already do the laundry)

financial skills

calendar organization (started this year on this)

general sewing

inexpensive decor work

hospitality skills

lawn care

gardening

clothes budgeting and purchasing

cleaning skills

general organization (although a couple are probably better than me at this already)

and the list goes on. . .

 

I definitely want to see them get their degrees, but I truly want them to be prepared to manage a household in any situation.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I think that BOTH genders need to be equally trained in this area. Changing lightbulbs, changing oil in the car, getting a car ready for a roadtrip, cooking, laundry-all of it, for both genders.

 

 

I HATE it when males act like they are complete idiots around household appliances, but want to be the hero for changing a lightbulb.

 

Gimme a break! :glare:

[lionfamily1999]

I was not even sort of kind of ready, lol. Luckily, I was young enough that it was a little like playing house, and that was something I was good at.

 

I still look around and feel completely overwhelmed. There've been times when I begged dh to just let me go back to work, I can't do this stay at home thing, I'm just not capable.

 

If you find a class or something for your girls, could you pass it on? I could definitely use some lessons.

[Tutor]

Nope. Not a bit. And neither was dh, so we were a double threat. :D

 

We are making a concerted effort to teach our children as we learn and openly point out where we wish we had had guidance as children so that our adult life would have been easier in certain areas (i.e. doing small home repairs, having a regular cleaning schedule, shopping frugally and intelligently, etc). Our kids will be better prepared than we were. That's a start.

[MamaT]

I was only 17 when I got married and had never done a load of laundry or even cleaned my own room. We had a maid my whole life who did everything for me.

 

I learned fast though. I taught myself how to cook, and eventually how to be creative and not just use a cookbook. I learned how to clean and organize my household. I even taught myself how to sew.

 

My dc (boys and girls) have always worked beside me and I feel confident they could run a household when the time comes for them to do so. The boys can't sew :001_smile:, but their dad has taught them how to take care of the cars, the lawn, house maintenance, etc.

[Nestof3]

I too went to college, and yes, I was ready.

 

I've had to figure out a lot on my own (particularly in the cooking department), but with books and the internet, this has been pretty easy for me. I watched a youtube video that taught me how to make pie crust, for example. I do searches all the time for things I wonder about (how to save cherry tomatoes for future use, how to get a stain out of such and such, how to fix the furnace). I've read a lot of nutrition books, so that's helped as well. I use www.allrecipes.com all the time for recipe ideas.

 

You can find cleaning recipes online, and cleaning products come with directions. Washing machine manuals even have specific directions about how to wash clothes.

 

Honestly, though, cleaning and organization come very naturally for me. When I was really young, I used to dust my parent's bedroom furniture. I was so short that I needed a stool to reach the top of my dad's chest of drawers.

 

Oh, and my mom did just about everything for us. I unloaded the dishwasher and whined about that. LOL I was always a clean, neat person, though, who kept my room spotless.

Edited August 26, 2009 by nestof3

[Dirtroad]

CAn you incorporate a home ec/home life type class in her school schedule?

 

Also incorporate routine chores into her daily life... my kdis are 8 &10 and do several chores each morning before school and others at the end of the day. They almost always go grocery shopping & we talk about prices & what we can't manage this week etc.

 

When you do laundry, include her in that load... let her do the next load. Just do a little at the time.

 

I think we have a duty to teach them the basics of cleaning, money management, organizing, planning a menu, etc. However, like other poster said.... she didn't plan on chopping fire wood! You can't cover it all & somethings depend upon personality too.

 

I think you have to show her all you can as you go through the daily routines.... if her time is so restricted, I would eliminate an activity (they dont' really prepare us for life but make it more fun & active). You can find classes or workbooks on budgeting, etc. Even websites like Martha Stewart have ideas for things... maybe more than most of us will ever do... but ideas. (I am sure there are others, she just popped into my head)

 

My Mom worked many hours & even went back to college when I was in high school. She depended upon me to make light meals or heat up a casserole & prepare the side dishes. I always was expected to help with washing, drying, and ironing. I had to help dust, sweep, mop & vacuum on Saturdays. I learned some ornamental gardening from my grandmothers. I didn't have a good idea of money managment but in college and that was not good. I accumulated too much cc debt. (I hope I can help me kids better in this area). However, my bills were always paid on time & in full.... my house was clean in college... and I never was absent minded to miss things like classes or appointments. So.... I was prepared (but did need more in money mgmt areas).

Edited August 26, 2009 by Dirtroad

[elegantlion]

I was not ready. My mom did everything for us. I could whine and get out of anything. That doesn't work with dh for some reason. :glare: I even moved back home after a nasty divorce at age 23 and my mom would do my laundry. She's such a helper.:D

 

My dh was prepared, he's a cleanie neat freak. I learned most of my household management from him. I wish he could retire and be my maid, he's so awesome. He'll even do his own laundry from time to time.

 

We've been married almost 17 years and while I'm organized I still prefer to be doing anything except household stuff.

 

My ds is learning how to deal with household stuff now. Dh does most of the training really. I am good at teaching school so that's why they keep me around. It certainly isn't for my ability to run a household well.:tongue_smilie:

[WiseOwlKnits]

Yes, and no. I didn't have your average childhood. I'd been responsible for making dinner for my family since I was 10/11. I was the one responsible for the washing, drying, and folding of the family's clothes. I did all the vacuuming, washing dishes, and dusting. So I started my family knowing how to do all those things. But I remember feeling like I was just playing grown-up, going through the motions like I had as a kid with no real clue what to do beyond the things I'd always been made to do as a kid. And I had (and to some degree still have) issues with doing all of that stuff when I'd already been the one responsible for doing that for 12 years when I got married.

 

What I've walked away with is that I want my kids to have chores. I want them to learn how to do things. But I want them to do things that are age-appropriate. And I would never make my kid(s) single-handedly responsible for the running of my house. It's not fair to them. And I will make sure to tell my kids thank you and show appreciation for doing their chores instead of always complaining that it took too long, wasn't done to my perfection, etc.

[chaik76]

I know how, but I'm not good at actually doing it. I have one son who is going to be a natural and one son who isn't.

[3lilreds in NC]

Good post!! I think about this a lot as well. I have 4 girls and this is one thing that I think is very important in their schooling. As each one enters her teen years, I plan to start really focussing on working with each one individually on home management skills:

grocery lists

food savings

natural cooking

baking

food prep

kitchen organization, etc

laundry skills (they all already do the laundry)

financial skills

calendar organization (started this year on this)

general sewing

inexpensive decor work

hospitality skills

lawn care

gardening

clothes budgeting and purchasing

cleaning skills

general organization (although a couple are probably better than me at this already)

and the list goes on. . .

 

I definitely want to see them get their degrees, but I truly want them to be prepared to manage a household in any situation.

 

This is a great list. Perhaps I will take it, teach myself, and by the time Emma is a teenager I will be ready to teach her! :D

 

I was *not* ready to manage a household. I'm still not, truth be known. I can't even say I'm doing my best at this point, but that's a whole 'nother post. Heh.

 

I do hope to have my girls be more prepared than I am, and I *think* I am doing that, at least. It would be quite simple to give them more knowledge than I had - I actually learned how to do laundry at college from a guy in my dorm! Who knew you had to clean the lint filters? Who knew everything couldn't go in the same load? :lol:

 

I am somewhat dependent on the microwave - had to call my sister once to figure out how to do Minute Rice on the stove. And, you'd think after all these years of being surprised when I get to the instructions that I would read them before I started, but I'm still that kid who failed those "read all questions first before starting" tests in school - you know, the ones that had the last instruction that read "do not answer any of the questions." I can improvise pretty well, though, and almost always end up with something edible, even tasty, if not quite what I started out to make.

 

This is one of the reasons I homeschool, in fact - to have my kids see what it takes to manage a household. It would be good if I were better at it though.

[3lilreds in NC]

My dh was prepared, he's a cleanie neat freak. I learned most of my household management from him. I wish he could retire and be my maid, he's so awesome. He'll even do his own laundry from time to time.

 

 

That's my dh too! I love it when he's home with the kids while I'm gone (which rarely happens, but you know) because he gets EVERYTHING done! The laundry is done and put away, the house is picked up, the kids are taking their shoes upstairs - it's incredible! I often think he should be the stay at home parent. Except, I do think he lacks a little patience with the kids and tends to let the TV babysit while he gets so much accomplished. :)

[caitlinsmom]

I definatly was ready! I come from a family of 6 kids and two very ummm errr lazy parents shall we say. It was my responsibility from the age of 10 to do all the laundry in the family, clean the kitchen, and clean the basement which was a living room, 4 bedrooms and a bathroom. My brother was in charge of all yard maintance and other such "manly" things. By 11 I was babysitting for hours (sometimes days) on end all 5 of the younger kiddos (my youngest brother were 1yo twins when I started) at least 3 times a week. I clearly remember getting everyone up and ready for school and then home and dinner made when I was in about 7th or 8th grade.

I was the very responsible older control freak child so my parents took advantage of that. I resented that for A LOT of years but now I can see how well it prepared me for family life. My younger siblings who didn't have responsibilities every day cant cook, clean, shop, etc. There homes are a mess and they are always frazzled.

 

I think the key is making sure that everyone in the family contributes to keep the family running. My kids have things they are responsible for every single day no matter what. I let them cook with me in the kitchen, they garden with me, dh shows them when he is fixing something, etc. These little experiance I think will help them big in the future. When they get a little older I like the idea of them being in charge of one meal a week where they plan, shop and cook (with help) whatever they desire. I plan to do this with a few other areas of our life too.

[CookieMonster]

I was not the least bit ready to manage a home - even in the most basic sense of the word.

 

I barely knew how to do laundry. I could 'cook' only a few things (like hot dogs). I knew how to properly clean just a few things. I couldn't keep my checkbook balanced. I certainly had no idea how to manage it all, as in what to do when so that the house isn't upside down and everyone can eat at appropriate times.

 

Domestic arts were slightly ridiculed in my family.

 

Trying to learn how to cook while having three kids is no easy task.

 

I intend for all my children to go to college. However, I also intend for them to learn how to run a home. Whether they live single or married, live rich or poor, they'll have a home to run. They'll do it their own way one day, but at least I'll have given them a starting point.

Edited August 26, 2009 by CookieMonster

[Loupelou]

Yes, and no. I didn't have your average childhood. I'd been responsible for making dinner for my family since I was 10/11. I was the one responsible for the washing, drying, and folding of the family's clothes. I did all the vacuuming, washing dishes, and dusting. So I started my family knowing how to do all those things.

 

What I've walked away with is that I want my kids to have chores. I want them to learn how to do things. But I want them to do things that are age-appropriate. And I would never make my kid(s) single-handedly responsible for the running of my house. It's not fair to them. And I will make sure to tell my kids thank you and show appreciation for doing their chores instead of always complaining that it took too long, wasn't done to my perfection, etc.

 

:iagree:This is me too.

 

If there are things I want my kids to learn that I cannot do I find someone who can. I don't sew, embroider, needlecraft,etc.

 

I'm great at bargain shopping, stockpiling clothes, food, etc., I've taught them to can food, to plan meals & budgets, gardening, how to keep a clean home and why, basic manners, being a host/hostess, etc.

 

Like another poster I feel all children regardless of gender need to learn the skills needed in running a household. My dh wasn't raised in a house like that and it shows.:D Also, all the children learn how to stack wood, check the oil, change a tire, etc.

 

I never want my kids to be handicapped because I didn't share my knowledge, or find a way for them to learn, no matter how much extra time it may take me.

 

You can't know/do all things, but life is all about learning, and being willing to learn.

[Guest Katia]

Yes, I was ready, but not because I did it all the time at home. I didn't.

 

My mom did everything in the house: cook, clean, organize, you-name-it. She had us help out every now and then, but mostly, she told us to read and enjoy our teen life because one day we would be doing it all, so we needed to take the time we had to be kids and....well.....just be kids. And we did!

 

Mom always told us that running a house was easy if you were educated, had common sense and could read. Same with cooking. Know what? She was right.

 

I have had my teen girls help me out here and there in the kitchen or with cleaning...whatever. But I don't make it their responsibility. They will have it soon enough. I tell them I'm confident they will do just great with it and I truly believe they will.

 

My ds did, um, NOTHING as far as cleaning, cooking, etc. goes when he was at home. His room was a pig-sty and he was on the computer every.single.second. I was really worried about when he left home.

 

However, those fears were totally unfounded. He has his own home that is neat and organized. He cleans all the time and can he cook!!! Wow! He researches whatever he wants to cook on the internet and then.....just does it!

 

There is information out there to anyone who wants to know how to do whatever. Getting into a routine of cooking, cleaning, and organizing your home and your life is available to everyone. You just have to know what you want and then do it. (notice I didn't say it was 'easy', LOL).

[Irene Lynn]

I was pretty bad, when I was married, but my dh was great. I have learned so much from my organized dh. He is great with finances, so I have become good at that, too. I was always conservative, but I didn't know how to organize it. We have taught our dd by setting her up with Quicken to manage her money. She is responsible for purchasing some of her clothes, gifts, savings, and any other puchase she would really like, often art related. We also have family budget meetings. She gets to see what categories are doing great and which ones are in the red and what that means and how we make the choices. She does have a natural bent toward financial things, so that makes it easy.

 

I was horrible at cleaning and organizing. We have been married for 22 years now and I am better. I doubt I will ever be stellar, but I am not totally embarrassed if the doorbell rings, at least most of the time. LOL I have a few small disaster zones that I clean like crazy every so often, then let them disentegrate into chaos again and repeat. My dh does not contribute much to the mess around the house and neither does my dd, so that helps A LOT! Something finally clicked with dd and she now keeps her room very tidy. I am still working on getting her to keep things a bit cleaner. The dust in her room gets pretty bad. I am more concerned about the dust on the floor, because that creeps out into the hall. She is also responsible for cleaning one bathroom, which means it rarely gets cleaned. We have a detailed list of what needs to be done for the room to be clean. That helps. I really need to put it on the calendar so she cleans it on a regular basis.

 

As for cooking? I could make great cookies or quick breads and I could do a great job with Campbell's soups and grilled cheese. I could make pancakes, French toast, and crepes, scrambled eggs, and hot cereals. I could make spaghetti, and hamburger, and fish sticks. I could follow recipes pretty well, but there was so much that I did not know. I did not know much about seasonings or timing. Nothing was done at the same time. I would often underestimate the time it would take to fix something and most of my food was bland. I was a terrible host. I was horrible, truly horrible at getting the dishes done. I have improved tremendously on all accounts. Some of that is due to my dd. She loves food and has a good sense of what might make something better. When she was younger, she was so afraid of the heat from the oven and stove that I thought she would never learn to cook, but she is over that and I have those big long oven mitts to help, too. One year I told her that she was going to learn to make a main dish, a dessert, a side dish or quick bread. She chose mannicotti (though we actually used the big shells instead of the mannicotti), pumpkin pie, and corn bread. We didn't eat them altogether in one meal, but she did make them. They were things she wanted to eat, so she was motivated. She even made the pie crust from scratch. It took me YEARS before I could make a crust, they scared me so much after my first disasters. I finally figured out how to do it and she was successful her first time. Now she makes her own "boxed mixes" of corn bread. She puts together 2-3 mixes at a time into baggies with the wet ingedients listed on the outside of the bag. Then when we need some cornbread, she just pulls out a bag and proceeds like it was from a box, except it tastes better. She gained confidence from those first cooking experiences and now she has branched out and tries all sorts of foods. Before she leaves home, she will be required to make a large company meal with ham or turkey and mashed potatoes and all the works by herself. I will offer what help I can. The biggest trick is to do as much as possible the day before, in other words, think ahead. Right now, I often ask her what she thinks would be a good side dish or vegetable or dessert to go with the main course. We just talk about it. She seems to have a good sense of meal planning right now. I think that it comes easily for her, but if we hadn't talked about it or if I hadn't pushed her a little to step out to try something, she still might feel insecure about cooking.

 

As my cooking has improved, my hosting has, too. My dh was good at welcoming guests, so that helped me, too. We often have guests and dd is usually involved. I am pretty sure that she will be a pretty good host.

 

We gave her a little brother to teach her to take care of little people. Okay that wasn't the true reason we had our little guy, but it has done wonders for her ability to care for little children. She was not a natural at that, I can assure you. She can change a diaper and dress a child. She can help to keep them out of trouble. I am glad she is only 16, because that means she will have a little longer to learn a thing or two about kids. I am also going to take a CPR class with her. I have done that many times, but it has been quite a few years now and she hasn't.

 

One thing that dd has discovered is that she can learn just about anything online. She wanted to learn to knit. She learned the basic knitting stitch from a a person irl, but has been watching online videos about knitting recently and is now trying new stitches. She also watches cooking videos online. I'd bet there are cleaning videos, too.

 

Anyway, it has taken me a long time to get to the point I am and I intend to continue to learn more and dd will start out with more skills than I had for years.

[Tap]

Yes, I was prepared. I knew how to do the basics of what it takes to run a household, but I was the baby of a big family and my parents expected us to do for ourselves what we could. We did our own laundry including ironing, we planned meals and went shopping, we did chores like dusting/cleaning/vacuuming, and were expected to schedule our own appointments (like the dentist). I did all my own taxes once I was 18, filled out my own FASA and applications to college. I bought my own car, registered it, insured it and maintained it (paid or got help) including budgeting for things like tires. My parents would have helped me with paper work if I had asked, but would never had done it for me. I remember my mom handing me the clipboard to fill out medical forms to go to the doctor when I was 15ish. I picked up and paid for my own personal items once I was 16, including hygiene and prescriptions. I got a certain amount of $$ when I went school clothes shopping and was expected to get everything I would need. My mom could cut a basic hair cut, if we wanted anything particular...we were expected to pay for it ourselves.

[coralloyd]

Yes, I was prepared, thanks to my mom.

When I was in High School I:

Cooked at least 2 nights a week (More if I could. I love cooking.)

Did the dishes, on the nights I cooked

Did my laundry

Took many grocery shopping trips, on my own, for the family.

Cleaned my bathroom

Dusted the house

Had a job at a coffee shop

Was taught how to handle finances

Taught Sunday School

Worked in the nursery, with the babies

Babysat for friends

 

I plan to do the same with my kiddos.

[lllll]

Nope, wasn't ready in any sense of the word. Neither was dh. Although he could cook (FRY, that is. I hate fried food.) just about anything. I remember calling my grandmother in Louisiana to find out how to cook white rice at the age of 23. My mother happened to be visiting her at the time and I could hear Grama freaking out at my mother in the background as I talked to my mother afterwards.:lol:

 

I decided that I would do things differently with my own dc. I posted about that a while back, here: www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85814&page=2

 

This has worked really well for our family.

 

The learning, however, never seems to end. I just had to relearn to cook - again! - in my 40's when we switched to vegan.

Edited August 26, 2009 by ksva

[Lovedtodeath]

I am so happy to read this. I haven't read the replies. I know one of my biggest problems is procrastination. Look, I am doing it now.

[Garga]

 

Were you ready...to manage a household when you got married?

Run a household....HA HA HA! Oooo! Wiping my eyes. Ready to run a household?! HARDLY! If my dh didn't enjoy watching cooking shows and knew how to do laundry, I think we would have died of hunger or from some dirty-clothes germ sometime in the first 10 years of marriage.

[Cedarmom]

No, and my dh was clueless in how to help. I worked full time, and he went to school full time. One day I asked him to cook the hamburger meat before I got home, and he had no idea how.

I don't have a daughter, but I do a son. I am teaching him how to buy ingredients for a meal, and cook it. He also knows how to do laundry(something else my hubby didn't know)

[Lovedtodeath]

I still look around and feel completely overwhelmed. There've been times when I begged dh to just let me go back to work, I can't do this stay at home thing, I'm just not capable.

 

Have I told you lately that I love you? Why oh why are my best friends so far away. :(

[Mrs Mungo]

Apparently I'm still not ready to run a household if I'm not supposed to be flying by the seat of my pants. :lol:

[Remudamom]

I was not ready. Growing up we had a maid M-F, 8-5, and she did all my cleaning, laundry, bathroom and even some cooking for us. I had a maid come to my apartment in college too, and clean once a week.

 

My girls aren't that unfortunate.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I knew how to do all the things it takes to manage a household when I got married. I was a good cook. My mom forced us to clean well and do laundry as children. I also had been doing yardwork, small repair and maintenance jobs, painting rooms, etc. for many, many years before I got married. As the oldest of 5 kids, and a decade of babysitting jobs, I knew how to take care of children. I was 32 when I got married and had been taking care of my own house for years.

 

However, just because I am capable of doing all of these things, and doing them well, doesn't mean I like to do them, or that I do them well at the moment. My dh is an incredibly picky eater, so I don't enjoy cooking anymore. I don't enjoy cleaning up after 4 people, or coordinating schedules for 4 people. I don't enjoy spending a whole day doing laundry. It's exhausting and thankless work most of the time. My mom is forever telling me that she doesn't know how I turned out to be the way I am. She "accuses" me of preferring to spend time with my children over doing housework. That's absolutely true. If I had the choice to read my kids a pile of library books or fold a pile of laundry, the library books will win out every time. What's wrong with a few wrinkles? :glare:

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Why oh why are my best friends so far away. :(

Actually, I can answer my own questions. Friends that are close by require more time, energy, health than what I have, and generally reasonably well behaved kids and a decently clean house are required to a degree.