Question about breastfeeding

[CatMomof3]

I have a 22 month old who still breastfed. She is my 3rd and my hardest to wean. I have always breastfed on demand, well lately she is asking for it all the time. I know it is not a hunger thing; she gets plenty of good food. I know it has to be a comfort thing. If I distracter she seems to forget about it, but if I sit down to read, work on the computer, or even relax she runs up to me and asks to nurse. It frankly is driving me crazy. It feels like a chore and I feel like a cow. (Right now I feel terrible typing this). I don't know what to do, my dh said maybe I should put Tabasco sauce on me (he was joking of course). Anybody have any good suggestions for weaning her off completely.

 

Thanks

[HiddenJewel]

I finally weaned my 2nd because she wanted to nurse all the time including all night. She was only 12 months. I weaned my ds cold turkey at 21 months because he was wanting to nurse all night. So don't have any advice for you. Perhaps she needs more one-on-one attention in other non-nursing activities?

[springmama]

Can you set up some rules? How would she react if you told her that she could only nurse after meals or before naps and bedtimes, or at other specific times of the day. Then, once she is used to limited nursing then maybe cut back from there, telling her that she is getting to be a big girl, etc.

 

Of course, once you set up some boundaries, you may feel better about continuing to nurse her. Right now, your negative feelings could be due to the fact that you can't catch a break.

[Desert Rat]

When my youngest was that age, I cut him down to bedtime and first thing in the morning (he quit taking naps a month or so before). If he asked to nurse I would just distract him with something else, like a cuddle and a book. He weaned himself 2 months later. My friend who's son nursed until 3.5 and was very difficult to wean, went out and bought dresses with no buttons. When her son asked, she would just say, "Sorry, we can't get to them right now." LOL It worked!

[dirty ethel rackham]

Oh, I remember those days. If I sat down, my kids looked at it as an invitation to nurse. I basically could not sit down all day. I used the "don't offer, don't refuse" method for weaning, with a special emphasis on pro-active distraction, structure, and not sitting down. I would gradually start eliminating the nursing sessions that were easiest to give up, but leave the ones that meant the most (first morning nursing, last one before bed, naptime) for later. I remember being very busy and very active during those months. I had to give lots of quick little hugs all day ending them with a distraction so that they would not slide down and try to nurse.

 

It was a challenging time, but we made it through. I think the Kellimom site has some good weaning suggestions as well.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_faqs.html

[LibraryLover]

I remember that being a classic time for marathon nursing with all of my kids. It's trying. I think it's a result of a growth spurt in both body and brain. They are transitioning from babyhood, and I often think they are stressed. It's time not to wean, but to show them all the other cool stuff they can do as well. Daddies and sibs are a huge help during this time.

Edited August 20, 2009 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

Oh, I remember those days. If I sat down, my kids looked at it as an invitation to nurse. I basically could not sit down all day. I used the "don't offer, don't refuse" method for weaning, with a special emphasis on pro-active distraction, structure, and not sitting down. I would gradually start eliminating the nursing sessions that were easiest to give up, but leave the ones that meant the most (first morning nursing, last one before bed, naptime) for later. I remember being very busy and very active during those months. I had to give lots of quick little hugs all day ending them with a distraction so that they would not slide down and try to nurse.

 

It was a challenging time, but we made it through. I think the Kellimom site has some good weaning suggestions as well.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_faqs.html

 

My kids nursed from 20 months to a few years...lol I remember reading standing up a lot when they were toddlers. Sitting was only about nursing. It's ok, but can get old some days. I tried to balance their huge needs with mine. But I remember dh coming home and me saying "Hey, how about you all take a nice walk without me!"

[justamouse]

I have a 22 month old who still breastfed. She is my 3rd and my hardest to wean. I have always breastfed on demand, well lately she is asking for it all the time. I know it is not a hunger thing; she gets plenty of good food. I know it has to be a comfort thing. If I distracter she seems to forget about it, but if I sit down to read, work on the computer, or even relax she runs up to me and asks to nurse. It frankly is driving me crazy. It feels like a chore and I feel like a cow. (Right now I feel terrible typing this). I don't know what to do, my dh said maybe I should put Tabasco sauce on me (he was joking of course). Anybody have any good suggestions for weaning her off completely.

 

Thanks

 

 

Hoooo do I know that feeling. For 10 years there I felt like I was either pregnant or lactating. My husband would look suggestively at my breasts and I would give him the Look of Scorn.

 

That being said, and you may have already done this, but is she teething? Dare you put your finger into the Jaws of Toddler and check?

 

My Vietnamese BFF told me the funniest story of how her mother weaned her kids (My BFF). She painted her breasts crazy colors and when the babies wanted to nurse, they were so terrified they never wanted to again. :lol:

 

Anywho, if she's not teething, and is not looking for comfort from pain, then I would just say no. They're all dried up, no more, take a nipple out and show her how its all gone. Worked for me.

[JennC]

:grouphug: I know what you mean about "feeling bad about typing that" Don't. It's a hard thing to do and, at least for me, is a bittersweet chore. She is growing up, and this stage is coming to an end.

Distraction has been my ally all 4 times.

[eternalknot]

My friend who's son nursed until 3.5 and was very difficult to wean, went out and bought dresses with no buttons. When her son asked, she would just say, "Sorry, we can't get to them right now." LOL It worked!

 

:lol: I like that idea!

 

My nursling is a few weeks shy of 4. We went through a phase like that around 2 years of age, and again around 3. Each time it lasts a few months and it feels like all I am to her is a piece of meat! Er, milk.

 

Nursing her was a completely different experience from nursing my son. He was easy to nurse on demand because we seemed to have a good rhythm between us. My daughter OTOH has higher needs than I do patience - so at 3 years old I finally set some limits (naptimes and bedtime only). She adjusted to it, but will occasionally still grope at my breasts longingly ::rolls eyes:: saying, "I just want to HUG them because I MISS them SO MUCH" <-- future Academy Award winner

 

It drives me crazy, but ... I simply let her know that she needs to respect my body and my space (when I ask for it). It's something I need to remind her of often ::sigh::. Setting limits was good for us, though, because it allowed us to meet BOTH of our emotional needs (hers to nurse for comfort, mine to have off-time). Prior to her, I was adamant that I'd nurse on demand forever. That was an easy philosophy to have with a nursling who had little demand :D.

[Melissa in Australia]

I went cold turkey with mine at about 18 months. I just told them ,"no more" and that was that. I wore clothes that they couldn't break into, and that was that. they cried for about 2 minutes each time they wanted to be feed for about 2 days, then forgot all about it.

 

 

I often think of cows, they kick their calves away from them every time they get close to them when they are weaning them. and birds kick their babies out of their nest when they are old enough to fly.

[Rosie_0801]

*sigh* And I've just started feeding my 28 month old again...

 

Rosie

[swellmomma]

My dd just turned 23 month today and I have noticed this with her too. Lately I tell her "not right now" and delay her for 10-15 minutes then let her if she persists. It is helping cut back a bit and allowing me moments to sit and relax. She has suddenly become even more attached to them, the other day we were at my neighbor's and she buried her face in between them and shook her face back and forth saying "mine all mine all mine" when I told her no booboo's right now. She will often come up and not want to nurse but want to pat them, says hi to them then goes off and plays again. It is definitely a comfort thing, and I do not want to take it away from her if she is needing it, but I am not used to this. She even cries in the morning if I get dressed before she feels she is done her morning nursing session because she nows that is it until at least mid morning and doesn't want them gone. So bizarre, toddlers are weird lol

[Lovedtodeath]

I remember that being a classic time for marathon nursing with all of my kids. It's trying. I think it's a result of a growth spurt in both body and brain. They are transitioning from babyhood, and I often think they are stressed. It's time not to wean, but to show them all the other cool stuff they can do as well. Daddies and sibs are a huge help during this time.

They are usually cutting molars at this time too.

 

I got some tips at the Kellymom forum (my little guy turned 2 in April): Help! I need to wean Mommy led weaning without tears?

Edited August 21, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[keptwoman]

Can you set up some rules? How would she react if you told her that she could only nurse after meals or before naps and bedtimes, or at other specific times of the day. Then, once she is used to limited nursing then maybe cut back from there, telling her that she is getting to be a big girl, etc.

 

Of course, once you set up some boundaries, you may feel better about continuing to nurse her. Right now, your negative feelings could be due to the fact that you can't catch a break.

Yes this is what I did. I found the boundaries went a long way to make me feel better about continuing to nurse, but also gave an opening to gradually weaning.

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree with springmama and keptwoman. By the time mine were that age we nursed only at "night-night times." I would offer a drink, I would offer to read, I would take them outside and blow bubbles, we would find something else to do. Sometimes they were bored, sometimes they were looking for attention.

[LibraryLover]

*sigh* And I've just started feeding my 28 month old again...

 

Rosie

 

Good for you! My kids all weaned at various ages. (Don't make me add up the years, I would probably hear about what a sicko I am). I have no regrets. I like knowing I respected the individual needs of my individual children.

[LibraryLover]

I went cold turkey with mine at about 18 months. I just told them ,"no more" and that was that. I wore clothes that they couldn't break into, and that was that. they cried for about 2 minutes each time they wanted to be feed for about 2 days, then forgot all about it.

 

 

I often think of cows, they kick their calves away from them every time they get close to them when they are weaning them. and birds kick their babies out of their nest when they are old enough to fly.

 

 

Don't get me started on what animals do that human animals do not. :D

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Don't get me started on what animals do that human animals do not. :D

Well if you compare their lifespan and the length of their gestation period we should all nurse for at least 6 years, or until our kids start losing their first set of teeth, otherwise known as milk teeth, then feel free to kick them out. :D

[Ellie]

I have a 22 month old who still breastfed. She is my 3rd and my hardest to wean. I have always breastfed on demand, well lately she is asking for it all the time. I know it is not a hunger thing; she gets plenty of good food. I know it has to be a comfort thing. If I distracter she seems to forget about it, but if I sit down to read, work on the computer, or even relax she runs up to me and asks to nurse. It frankly is driving me crazy. It feels like a chore and I feel like a cow. (Right now I feel terrible typing this). I don't know what to do, my dh said maybe I should put Tabasco sauce on me (he was joking of course). Anybody have any good suggestions for weaning her off completely.

 

Thanks

It is not uncommon for children to nurse more for a short time when there's something different going on in their lives. It could be something as simple as being moved to a different room in the church nursery, or it could even be that she senses that you don't want to nurse and that disturbs her--and can you blame her? You know that babies don't nurse just because they're hungry; there's that whole emotional thing tied into it.

 

A LLL leader once advised a mother in similar straits to devote herself to nursing the toddler for a couple of days every time one of them turned around. After a few days of undivided attention, as it were, the baby figured out that everything was still right in her world and went back to nursing once or twice a day.

 

That would be my recommendation: quit thinking of her as being the "hardest to wean" and enjoy the moment. It won't be very long until she'll be way too busy to give you the time of day. :-) Just go with it. Sleep with her, too, if you can.

[Sara in AZ]

At that age I would tell my son I would count to 10, and then he had to be done. It really helped us cut down.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

At that age I would tell my son I would count to 10, and then he had to be done. It really helped us cut down.

My son would have no clue what any of that means and he is older than the OP! It has helped me to switch to a regular bra. By the time I decide I am ready and then go to the trouble to take it off, he loses interest. (you know once or twice a day)

[Chris in VA]

She has suddenly become even more attached to them, the other day we were at my neighbor's and she buried her face in between them and shook her face back and forth saying "mine all mine all mine" when I told her no booboo's right now. She will often come up and not want to nurse but want to pat them, says hi to them then goes off and plays again.

 

I am just cracking up at this! It's so funny to hear those things from our littles.

Dd and I weaned around 22 months. About Christmas time I started to feel a little sick of nursing (she was about 19 months then) and my boys changed the verses in "Feliz Navidad" to "We don't want you to na-na anymore, we don't want you to na-na anymore..." Dd was ok with a gradual reduction, with distraction and lots of cuddles.

 

Good luck. It's a bittersweet time, but I was sooo ready. Until she stopped asking--then I got a little nostalgic! lol

[CatMomof3]

Thank you all for advice. :)

[Guest janainaz]

Both of mine nursed until 24 months - and toward the end it was just mainly at night. My first one gave it up on his own during the day, he was easy. My second one needed more distractions. I would only let him nurse at naptime and at bedtime. He would wake up and want to at night and I just started cutting him off, but cuddling with him. It was not easy, but not awful either. It is such an emotional thing, I could not just shut them down cold-turkey. My heart could not take it.

[ChristusG]

Oh my gosh, I'm soooo cracking up about the little girl who just wants to hug them because she misses them LOL!!!

 

I nursed DD #1 until she was 27 months old. The only reason she weaned (on her own) was because I got pregnant with DD#2 and the taste of the milk changed and was drying up. I remember her going through stages of wanting milk all the time.

 

Now with DD#2, I went through the same thing. Right about the time she was turning two, she wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME. Now she's 29 months and it has tapered off a lot. She nurses maybe three or four times a day now. I can handle that.