Is there such a thing as "too clean"?

[Luanne]

I'm not sure if there is. My daughter says there is, but she is definitely messier than I would like her to be. What is your take on this?

[Chris in VA]

Cleaning can become an obsession, for sure, but I think there's a point before that that can also be a bad thing. I feel a home should be tidy most of the time, but that some mess is just part of daily living. I 'm not one to follow behind the kids, picking up as they leave "the trail," but we do have a clean up at meal time or just after. Most days. (I'm really the messiest.)

[secular_mom]

I think that some homes that are 'too clean' just make some people feel uncomfortable. I've been uncomfortable in someone's home before, where they actually fussed at my child for touching the wall. :/

I think it's all in how the person who lives in the home presents things though, KWIM? It is definitely not impossible to have a spotless home AND be a hostess that people are very comfortable with.

My oldest likes things to be very 'cozy' and she thrives on a bit of mess. She does NOT like it when the house is spotless, but she likes clutter and does NOT like open spaces. I'm claustrophobic, so I LOVE big empty spaces in my home. Our balance has been that I take care of most of the house, and she can have a bit of mess/clutter in her room so that she is more comfortable. HTH

[Perry]

Sure. You can take just about anything to an unhealthy extreme.

[lulubelle]

I've watched wife swap several time and there was one mom that was obsessively clean - she wanted to see her reflection on her counter top and sprayed it like 20 times a day. Her house was a museum. Her kids were not happy and had no relationship with their mother. And, I also saw a Super Nanny episode where the mom cleaned the house for 6 hours straight - maybe longer! I was in shock just watching her do it. She spent no time with her kids. She had no idea how bad it was till she saw herself being filmed doing it. She too did nothing with her kids. Both women seemed to find their "control" in cleaning. Both realized it was not making them or their families happy.

[joannqn]

I think there can be instances of too clean in a couple of different ways.

 

In speaking of dirty (vs. clutter), too clean means your immune system isn't exposed to germs much, and weakens it. I think living in a sterile, or near sterile, environment isn't good.

 

In speaking clutter, too clean is more an attitude. I know someone who's house is too clean. You can't wear shoes in her house...which is fine...but when you chastise your husband in front of guests because he walked across the carpet with shoes to give you a quick kiss before leaving, that's too clean. When you don't allow your kids to have friends in their room because the friends might make the room messy, that's too clean. When you are uncomfortable in their house, that's too clean.

 

I have a friend whose house is just as clean as the above described, but her house is comfortable, messes/spills happen and are cleaned up, you can live there.

 

I have to watch my attitude when my house gets to the cleaner stage. I tend to get really cranky when my clean house gets messed up, and that is not good. People, especially family, are more important than a little mess.

[Impish]

Yep. I honestly believe that a bit of mess is healthy, and studies have shown that children do better when there is a bit of mess. All the antibacterial cleaning stuff actually isn't a good thing for kids.

 

I prefer my home to be homey...not a sterile showplace. Kids live here. I want my home to reflect that, and not constantly be fussing over the kids to keep everything perfect. Yes, tidy is good, and we always have 'tidy up time', especially before Daddy comes home, and company comes, but not 'screamingly neat'. My children's comfort in their home is more important to me than perfection.

[Tammy]

and not having built up a tolerance to dust/dander in the air.....

[abbeyej]

Well, "too clean" is not something I fear *I*'ll ever be in danger of... ;) But I can think of at lest three ways that "too clean" could become an issue...

 

1) obsession to the point that one's life outside of cleaning is limited. It's the same as any other obsessive tendency, where all else is eclipsed by the obsession, and other interests, activities and duties are dropped in favor of serving the obsession...

 

2) an excessively sterile environment has been linked to childhood illnesses. One could, in one's quest to rid the world of germs and dangers of all sorts, actually increase the risks.

 

3) as others have mentioned, a preoccupation with excessive cleanliness can make a home less welcoming and comfortable. I think a home can certainly be clean *and* welcoming -- in fact, a messy home can be thoroughly off-putting as well -- but in some cases it's so clear that sprawling on a couch, or playing Monopoly on the floor, dropping a crumb from a cookie would be a blight on an otherwise spotless world... Well, in those cases, perhaps a bit of relaxation could help.

 

All that said, I think it's time for me to go vacuum my living room -- I promise, a quick vacuum and some straightening up of all the books and papers should make it a lot *more* welcoming. ;)

 

In your daughter's case, is your home *really* "too clean", or is she just a wee bit lazy and distracted like me? ;)

[Georgiana Daniels]

I guess I've got no worries on this front :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm obsessive about not wearing shoes in the house, and this is one area I could relax. Years ago I went through a compulsive cleaning phase, but it's a fruitless endeavor around these parts.

 

Tidy is good. I strive for tidy.

[PineFarmMom]

I think that some homes that are 'too clean' just make some people feel uncomfortable.

 

:iagree: I remember going to a friend's grandparents' home in college and felt that I didn't want to sit down at the table in their living room because I knew if I moved the chair I would make new marks in the perfectcarpet. :lol: Therefore, I just wasn't comfortable there. I want us to be clean but for people to feel that we're laid back enough that we won't go nuts if things aren't just so.

[Pretty in Pink]

I knew a gal once who was slightly obsessive about cleaning...her child's pediatrician told her to back off because the harsh cleaning supplies she was using all the time were aggravating her child's asthma.

 

I used to be more vigilant on the cleaning front. It was easier when I only had one child to clean up after. I think, back then, that I almost prided myself on my spotless little home. Looking back I realize that I wasted a lot of time wiping up fingerprints and mopping my floors every single day.

[Luanne]

I think that some homes that are 'too clean' just make some people feel uncomfortable. I've been uncomfortable in someone's home before, where they actually fussed at my child for touching the wall. :/

I think it's all in how the person who lives in the home presents things though, KWIM? It is definitely not impossible to have a spotless home AND be a hostess that people are very comfortable with.

My oldest likes things to be very 'cozy' and she thrives on a bit of mess. She does NOT like it when the house is spotless, but she likes clutter and does NOT like open spaces. I'm claustrophobic, so I LOVE big empty spaces in my home. Our balance has been that I take care of most of the house, and she can have a bit of mess/clutter in her room so that she is more comfortable. HTH

 

"Please don't touch my wall. Did they have children?

 

I think my daughter is that way too ... she just has to have her little pile around her. I try to keep her "pile" confined to her bed because usually it involves several stuffed animals.

[Luanne]

I think there can be instances of too clean in a couple of different ways.

 

In speaking of dirty (vs. clutter), too clean means your immune system isn't exposed to germs much, and weakens it. I think living in a sterile, or near sterile, environment isn't good.

 

In speaking clutter, too clean is more an attitude. I know someone who's house is too clean. You can't wear shoes in her house...which is fine...but when you chastise your husband in front of guests because he walked across the carpet with shoes to give you a quick kiss before leaving, that's too clean. When you don't allow your kids to have friends in their room because the friends might make the room messy, that's too clean. When you are uncomfortable in their house, that's too clean.

 

I have a friend whose house is just as clean as the above described, but her house is comfortable, messes/spills happen and are cleaned up, you can live there.

 

I have to watch my attitude when my house gets to the cleaner stage. I tend to get really cranky when my clean house gets messed up, and that is not good. People, especially family, are more important than a little mess.

 

Our church had a thing where you could go around to several homes and see how they decorated for Christmas. One of the homes belonged to the pastor of the church. I always knew they kept their house spotless, but I do believe they took it to an extreme. There youngest child was only 6 at the time we visited their house (the other two kids were 9 and 11) and you couldn't even tell they had children. I am guessing their toys were put away in closets or something. Honestly the kids rooms looked like they were occupied by adults because there wasn't anything "childlike" about them (even the bedspreads and pictures on the wall were something an adult would use). My daughter had "Little Mermaid" in her room at the age of 6.

[Luanne]

that I would definitely settle for "tidy". Even that is difficult around here. :001_huh:

[KidsHappen]

I think my daughter is that way too ... she just has to have her little pile around her. I try to keep her "pile" confined to her bed because usually it involves several stuffed animals.

 

 

I try to confine my children's piles to inside their rooms. If I can close their doors and not actually see all the clutter, well then I can pretend it's not there.

 

And yes, there is such a thing as too clean. I am OCD and my MIL makes even me uncomfortable. She is the kind of person that wipes under your glass every time you pick it up. If you leave it too long without taking a drink she wisk off with the glass. I stayed with her for awhile when I was pregnant with my first and my dh was off to boot camp. She vaccumed every morning at 5:30 am before she went to work even though the two of us were the only people there and I was gone all day as well. I have never seen dust in her house. I think she banned it. :tongue_smilie:

[secular_mom]

"Please don't touch my wall. Did they have children?

 

I think my daughter is that way too ... she just has to have her little pile around her. I try to keep her "pile" confined to her bed because usually it involves several stuffed animals.

They are relatives, and yes they also had young children at the time. Things were obviously more important than people, though I don't think they realized it. They have matured since then, thank goodness. But at that time, I was NOT comfortable in their home.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Yes, there is too clean. I don't want to walk into a home that seems like PEOPLE don't live there at all. I don't want my home like that. I certainly don't want "playrooms" and children's rooms to look like that. And of course there is unhealthy cleaning regardless of how clean the space actually gets.

 

If you walk into my home, it is DEFINITELY lived in. You might see a "hot spot" or two (on top of the microwave, one corner of the kitchen counter). Everything looks GENERALLY neat and tidy. You wouldn't worry about eating the food here, but it most certainly isn't spotless. And we're an individual family. We have our treadmill in a spot it will get used but it's an odd spot. I have a pull up bar in my house (though most people don't notice it because of where though it's in a livingroom).

 

But my home being picked up is how I feel in control. My post this morning (and my facebook status this morning was different but similar) was simply me feeling out of control. Getting things basically tidy is necessary for my sanity. But at one point, I took it WAY too far. My house didn't LOOK any better really, but *I* was too invested in it, addicted to it. It was BAD. It was my way of dealing with a very painful thing and the other addiction that stemmed from it. People like I was NEED HELP.

 

But you're probably just asking for something normal and your daughter will deal :) LOL

[Mommyof4ks]

I think there can be instances of too clean in a couple of different ways.

 

In speaking of dirty (vs. clutter), too clean means your immune system isn't exposed to germs much, and weakens it. I think living in a sterile, or near sterile, environment isn't good.

 

In speaking clutter, too clean is more an attitude. I know someone who's house is too clean. You can't wear shoes in her house...which is fine...but when you chastise your husband in front of guests because he walked across the carpet with shoes to give you a quick kiss before leaving, that's too clean. When you don't allow your kids to have friends in their room because the friends might make the room messy, that's too clean. When you are uncomfortable in their house, that's too clean.

 

I have a friend whose house is just as clean as the above described, but her house is comfortable, messes/spills happen and are cleaned up, you can live there.

 

I have to watch my attitude when my house gets to the cleaner stage. I tend to get really cranky when my clean house gets messed up, and that is not good. People, especially family, are more important than a little mess.

 

:iagree:Exactly what I was thinking.

[momofkhm]

In speaking of dirty (vs. clutter), too clean means your immune system isn't exposed to germs much, and weakens it. I think living in a sterile, or near sterile, environment isn't good.

 

:iagree:

 

I think when a house is too clean in this way, the kids (especially) get sick more cause they aren't exposed to germs a little at a time.

 

I will never have a problem with my house being too clean! I am just not that into picking up let alone cleaning. :tongue_smilie:

[Ester Maria]

I'll admit I was a bit like some of the people you rage against. :p THANK GOD I got out of that, only now looking back I can see how bad it was.

 

Both DH and I come from pretty spotless families (especially DH - my MIL is probably the greatest neat freak I've ever met). Everything HAD to be very clean in our house too. When I remember... :banghead:

I had a cleaning lady 3-4 days a week for the full 8 hours and I was still spending a considerable amount of time cleaning and rearranging the house. The girls were very small and were probably thinking their mother is nuts. Right after they played with a toy, I was putting it aside, to its special place, and arranged it there, to aesthetically fit the environment (!), regardless of the fact I knew a few hours later I would have to do it again. Stuff like that. It became close to an obsession. Nothing was ever clean enough in my opinion.

It came to a point that after washing hands, I was washing the washbasin too, and drying it, so there wouldn't be a single drop to ruin the impression!

 

Then I noticed my daughters were starting to copy me, and weren't feeling free to do anything in the house, and it scared the hell out of me because through their behavior I could see my own so I loosened it up a little. It took me a while to realize that it's really okay and permissible to live in a house which isn't museum-like.

 

We're not as clean now, obviously (;)), but we're reasonably tidy. There are some people who still think our house is tidier than it should be, but it's not as steril as it was before, thank God.

[David]

I'm not sure if there is. My daughter says there is, but she is definitely messier than I would like her to be. What is your take on this?

Yes, there is such a thing as too clean. My step mother kept her house so clean nobody was comfortable in it. Spotless white carpet, couch and chairs! With three teenage boys in the house!? Her sons and I hated being in the house so much we'd dream up any excuse to be anywhere else.

 

 

... too clean means your immune system isn't exposed to germs much, and weakens it. I think living in a sterile, or near sterile, environment isn't good.

I've read that Japan has a growing problem with illnesses because of their long-term obsession with cleanliness.

 

On the other, too cluttered and/or dirty makes people uncomfortable also. I strive for somewhere in the middle.

[Luanne]

Yes, there is such a thing as too clean. My step mother kept her house so clean nobody was comfortable in it. Spotless white carpet, couch and chairs! With three teenage boys in the house!? Her sons and I hated being in the house so much we'd dream up any excuse to be anywhere else.

 

I've read that Japan has a growing problem with illnesses because of their long-term obsession with cleanliness.

 

On the other, too cluttered and/or dirty makes people uncomfortable also. I strive for somewhere in the middle.

 

 

who lived down the street from me. I really felt sorry for her. Both of her parents were over-the-top picky about everything. Everything in her entire room was white and I kid you not that her mother checked for dust with a glove in her room every day. Her father mowed their grass every three days so it would stay EXACTLY the same length at all times. Their car was kept in the garage (it was white too) and he still pulled it out and washed it thoroughly every day. She spent most of her time at my house when we weren't at school.

[dangermom]

My good friend spent a lot of time at her grandparents' house when she was a kid. I think it was most of the time, actually. She was not allowed to make a mess in playing or anything like that. One day I discovered that she has never, in her whole life, built a fort out of blankets and chairs--or anything like that!

 

She's had to work pretty hard at loosening up enough to allow her children to play and make normal messes. Happily, she has mostly succeeded! But just think how little she was allowed to do--it's very sad. That was definitely too clean.

 

When you value your things over the people in your life, that's too clean.

[Erica in PA]

I'm not sure if there is. My daughter says there is, but she is definitely messier than I would like her to be. What is your take on this?

 

Maybe it's not possible for a home to be "too clean,"' but it's definitely possible to be "too concerned with cleanliness." I have known people who were the latter, and it made visiting them very stressful and unpleasant. I remember visiting a friend who literally followed my children (who were then 7, 3, and 1) around her home with a bottle of cleaner and paper towels, wiping everything they touched (and believe me, I wouldn't have allowed them to go around messy, either). As we were all getting ready to leave for an amusement park together, the rest of us stood on the porch waiting while this woman "tidied up a few things." I saw her though the window, washing windows as we waited to go. Needless to say, we didn't enjoy that visit much.

 

I like visiting homes where you don't feel like you're going to mess up the place just by acting normally. On the other extreme, I also like visiting homes where I don't feel like I'm actually going to get dirty myself just sitting on a chair. :tongue_smilie: A happy medium is my preference. My own home is slightly on the messy side of the happy medium most of the time.

Edited August 4, 2009 by Erica in PA

[Jean in Newcastle]

After 5 hours of driving to visit some missionary friends, my dad had to go to the bathroom. So when we got to their house, he started to make a beeline for the facilities. The woman literally barred his way - she did not want him to mess up the bathroom! My poor dad, he really didn't know what to do! Finally necessity made him gently push her aside and run in there anyway. That poor woman - I think it was the final straw for her. Her obsession with germs had gotten so bad. They had to leave for the U.S. shortly after that for a medical leave for her. So yes, sometimes things can be too clean.

[PineFarmMom]

After 5 hours of driving to visit some missionary friends, my dad had to go to the bathroom. So when we got to their house, he started to make a beeline for the facilities. The woman literally barred his way - she did not want him to mess up the bathroom! My poor dad, he really didn't know what to do! Finally necessity made him gently push her aside and run in there anyway. That poor woman - I think it was the final straw for her. Her obsession with germs had gotten so bad. They had to leave for the U.S. shortly after that for a medical leave for her. So yes, sometimes things can be too clean.

 

:blink: Wow!!!!

[Stacy in NJ]

I'm not sure if there is. My daughter says there is, but she is definitely messier than I would like her to be. What is your take on this?

 

Yes, I think so. If guests feel uncomfortable in your home, afraid to sit down or walk across your carpet, afraid to use the space, then it may be because your to clean.