My heart goes out for you. Please, please find a way to have some alone time. Can family come help dh? A friend? Someone? You are incredibly strong to deal with all of it, and I admire your strength, but you can only do so much. Your family has talked about it, they have seen it. Your dh can't be with them by himself. Why are you expected to deal with it alone? You really need a weekly (ideally) break from it all, from the screaming, the yelling, the chaos. Everyone gets a chance to be away from it, you don't. It's not healthy for you :(