I do come across many people in my age (43) and older (mainly older) who just dont spend much time on computers and are not electronically savvy. My parents are- but my dad had a computer when I was a kid- a rare thing. However he couldn't handle Facebook recently- he didn't like it at all and closed his account. I had asked him to open one so he could keep in touch with his grandkids. Mum had motivation- her kids and grandkids living far away, and her fibromyalgia keeping her at home a lot. SHe is a photographer too. My whole family are computer savvy- I was the last on board, actually, and that was 15 years ago. But I often come across people who check their email only occasionally or don't even have a computer or brag about how they don't like computers. Often they are defensive and consciously don't want to get into computers. I was like that about mobile phones for a long time (and still don't use mine much) so I do understand. My MIL has not managed to send an email yet despite having a computer and having various adult grandkids trying to teach her. So who knows- could be resistance to technology- but also could be other things, as others have said.

What Rosie said- and really it works well (mine are 17 months apart) because they need their own maths and English books anyway- and if one goes ahead in some areas, they can progress at their own natural pace. YOu could try putting them together first so that you can see if it does work and at least say you tried it- but you may find it is more hassle than its worth. Mine were close in age but years apart in skill levels in maths and English- but my girl is the older. But doing the content areas together is the whole juice and fun of homeschooling to my mind. Reading books concurrently, exploring history eras together, doing history activities and excursions. Science too. We really lived those history eras as a family and it was so fun. Not to mention all the wonderful literature. We spent a year studying Lord of the Rings and my youngest was only 11 that year but he was right there with us.

I think most westerners are addicted to sugar, let alone carbs. And I mean addicted. They show all the signs of addiction. Its not until you give up sugar and refined carbs you realise what it does to your moods, and how addictive they are. Please trust yourself. You are speaking common sense- the doctor is not. There are many people who have cured themselves of diabetes through diet alone. Some use the raw food path but there are others. There is a Cure for Diabetes

My 15yo son has just started school- he's been there a whole 2 weeks- and I asked him today about the bullying. He said that yes it happens and he has seen it. The biggest bully in his year is also the most popular kid. Apparently this kid walked into a room and told my son he was sitting in *his* chair and to get out. My son just brushed him off with "go get your own ****chair, Im sitting here." And that was that- the bully said, oh, ok, and walked off and sat somewhere else. I am glad we avoided the bullying issue thus far- although I have seen it in homeschooling circles it was not directed at my kids. Hopefully the foundation has given ds the skills to navigate school now too. ETA- Ds has also commented on how the kids all just want to get out of their work, all the time. If the teacher forgets to mention to finish off the page of maths for homework, yet that is what he has said every other day....the kids will celebrate that he forgot to say it and they wont do it. Ds is finding the teachers like him because he is actually interested in what they are teaching. I am sure some school will rub off though.

I feel for you and don't have much to add to what others have said. I feel that perhaps my own situation could have gone the same way if I hadn't been fiercely assertive over and over about the respect issues. But for me, I was always prepared to walk out the door if it got too bad, and that drew a line that was respected. In other words, I did have to fight for respect, but I did get it. I don't know if that is helpful for you. I know it was helpful for my kids. But consider yourself :grouphug:

Although my hours are spread over the day, even when homeschooling I had plenty of breaks and free time It only takes me an hour to do a basically House Blessing (vacuum and tidy), an hour to cook the mail meal at most, and maybe another hour to do various bits an pieces- laundry and dishes etc. I have been very assertive when I needed a break and wasn't getting it- mainly when the kids were little- but I do not see myself as working from sun up to sun down at all and havent for years. Its a cruisy life full of both work and play, even when homeschooling. Of course I had 2 kids, no babies after that etc. But I do not identify with the overworked housewife at all.

It sounds really painful for you, Nadia, to watch it going on- family dynamics can be so tricky. I have one selfish one in particular but both can be and it cuts deep at times. I would not take a child to a party an hour away that I was not invited to stay over at or wasn't friendly with the people. It doesn't sound like you are very happy about the situation anyway so maybe its a good time to say to A that you are not willing to drive her- and you don't really need to justify yourself but you can give your reasons if you want. Sounds like you maybe have a build up of resentment and its good to get real. I think teen years are when kids start to realise the world doesn't revolve around them. Mine think they can fly then crash land frequently. I just remember its not me that needs to keep telling them- life will do it. I think they learn a lot of lessons in the family but just as many out with their friends. :grouphug:

Yeah, dh and I use each other as cop outs when being the "bad guy". Mum said you couldn't.....dad said you had to..... The kids are onto it though and sometimes it's hilarious when they come and check and we have to own up :blush:. My kids use the "my parents will kill me " with their friends a lot too. They now know we are not the worst parents in the world, fortunately, so when we are stricter than some of their friends, its usually not so unreasonable they cant handle it.

You just get addicted to the boards and don't even worry about your designation. I've been on here less time than some in terms of years, but obviously I spend a lot of time chatting rather than doing my work :). The whole bee thing came up on the old boards- before these boards were set up- and it became a bit of an in joke and all these references were made to the hive mind. Ask a question and the hive answers it (I think of the Borg, personally). So when these boards were created, SWB with her wonderful sense of humour, created the whole bee thing.

I am completely blessed every day. To me it is a way of acknowledging the graces and gifts that are showered on me every day (although I might express it after a particularly beautiful and as Jean says, undeserved blessing). It is an expression of acknowledgement and gratitude. I love the word and don't feel it singles me out as special- nor do I use it in a Christian context.

I would just give in and enjoy a decadent muffin for Valentines Day and then let it go! I have found if I try to go healthy when I am craving something decadent, it often backfires and I end up having BOTH- the healthy AND the unhealthy version. :)

My kids were very proactive about trying things they were interested in. ANd i couldn't say yes to them all. I think I would just suggest to you to relax and trust that if she is exposed to a reasonable number of possiblities, something might jump out for her one day. You don't need to push too hard. Just do what you can do but let go of what you can't. If you cant have pets, she might be able to run a dog walking business when she is older- just as an example. Or volunteer at an animal rescue place. But not everyone is motivated or inspired by activities. She might excel at being kind, writing poetry or any number of things that don't involve structured activiites.

Whoa. I just read the first and last page. It's enough :) Profanity wouldn't be profanity if people didn't react negatively to it. They are just sounds, combinations of syllables. What meaning you give them is up to you/me. Its subjective. I cringe a little sometimes at excessive profanity or when it seems innapropriate- but I also recognise that is MEANT to be the effect. I personally enjoy a bit of witty irreverence at times too. So the more energy you give it (positive or negative) the more you feed it. I am sure the people who speak it dont care one way or the other what you think.

I havent read all the posts because this one is spot on for me. The amping up of the emotions often happens because they don't feel heard. Focusing on listening, instead of the bad behaviour, helps here. YOu don't have to agree (in my experience ds was usually so unreasonable it is ridiculous) BUT they still need to be heard and validated. Waiting till a child can express themselves properly before listening to what is behind the emotion, might mean missing the boat completely and just going around in circles trying to deal with a behavioural issue that has deeper roots. It takes lots of patience, and a need to look beyond the surface to what their real feelings and needs might be. ANd I'm not saying it is easy, or that you don't deal with the inappropriate expression of the issue as well, but they might not be able to change it if their underlying need is not being met. They are the child. As my son has learned with maturity to express himself, the explosive and rude behaviour has lessened a lot- but it has taken many years.

Lol, I notice the Hivemen have stayed well away from this thread. Probably very wise too :)

We did the same- no friends till after school and after lunch. The neighbourhood kids soon learned. If you feel guilty...wouldn't you also feel guilty if your kids didn't get their schoolwork done? Making playdates to me is different from having other kids in walking distance. I never made excessive playdates but the kids in the street are another thing altogether and I wouldn't tell my kids to stay at home if they had done their chores and schoolwork and the kids were knocking at the door or playing outside the window. If it helps, my kids are very, very social beings- both extroverted and socially competent and nowadays I sometimes don't see them much for days as they are out and about. We are still close though. Homeschooling and lots of communication has made sure of that. I never felt much need to keep them at home more than homeschooling already naturally did.

Maybe they don't care as much as we do? Maybe they literally don't notice? I tend to find men very straightforward so I doubt its anything very complicated :) They probably just. dont.notice. I know my son cant find an item of clothing or his wallet even if its lying on the floor in front of him. He just cant se it. Must be some sort of wiring. Also, perhaps their mothers picked up after them and they were never taught. I know in my dh's case, and he does notice and help in his own way, his mother was very, very strict to the point of being anal, about cleanliness and tidiness. Visiting her home is like visiting a sterile zone- not warm and comforting. I know she did train her boys and they are all good at keeping home except the youngest who was probably spoiled.

My kids eat about as much as dh and I. So either we eat a lot or they are not huge eaters. I guess ds15 snacks a lot but its mostly fruit. ANd dd16 might sneak in cereal after dinner. But for meals I never serve them more than dh and I.

Just finished Shamanic Wisdomkeepers by Timothy Freake. Beautiful.

The raw milk suppliers I know are vey,very strict with hygiene- their reputation depends on no one getting sick. One possibility is that if you take your own containers, or, you transfer the milk to your own containers when you get home- they might not be sterilised and that is a possible source of contamination. The supplier I used for a couple of years told me about another supplier who used a truck and poured the milk into people's containers that they brought themselves- and she said she woudl never do that. Pasteurised milk also occasionally has cases of contamination.

Mostly we talk about alcohol, since many people they know drink it at social events. It never ceases to amaze me how parents just "give up" and allow their 15, 16, 17yos to have alcohol at their b'day parties, and allow the kids to drink to the point of getting drunk. I now allow my kids to go to some of these parties because I trust they don't drink. But I have let go of the battle around energy drinks and coffee long ago now :) The more fuss I made, the more they wanted them. Dd16 is addicted to coffee along with dh, but it is a sweet bond they share of loving to go to coffee shops together or make coffee at home, or choosing the flavour of coffee to buy. Ds15 loves energy drinks but seems to be coming through that phase- they have lost their forbidden, naughty allure, and now that he is at school, he is really appreciating sleep :)

That alone wouldn't bother me- we barter a lot and its best not to take it personally. The seller said she was willing to negotiate. But I might take it into account as one factor if I was already wondering if she weren't the best person for the job. ETA_ I have noticed that people who don't barter, who haven't been exposed to bartering, don't play the 2nd hand market etc- often feel very uncomfortable about it. I think that often says something about them and what they've been exposed to, rather than the people who are bartering. You can barter respectfully, or rudely. A good barter is quite fun for everyone involved.

No plate, no napkin.

Dh has always been well housetrained, long before I met him- it was me who had to catch up. Nowadays we have our separate areas of responsibility. He is a Mr Fix It and is always tending to things that need fixing. He doesn't vacuum, sweep or wash floors though, or de-clutter anything. He doesn't usually do dishes but he might do them if both the kids and I weren't around -he doesn't like mess. He will often do a quick clean up in the kitchen but not to the extent of emptying the dishwasher or doing a big load of pots. Yesterday I was upset with him over something and when I went out for a walk to cool off my upset, he busied himself with bleaching the kitchen benches. (we openly call it sucking up :) ) He does it every few months and I had been wishing he would do it again but I hadn't got around to asking him. So..I guess that falls into the category of noticing something needed doing and doing it. He won lots of brownie points from me for that.

I had two granmas when I was growing up- Granma (dad's surname) and Granma (mum's maiden name). My kids have granma (mum's maiden name) and Nanna Elaine (dh's mum)and Nanna Robyn (dad's wife).