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Found 13 results

  1. About Homeschooling my Only Child. I don't post much on the boards, but I do read daily and have gleaned so much advice from all of you experienced hs'ers on these boards. I have a dd6 who is extremely extroverted and adores ALL types of social interactions with either kids or adults. We started hs'ing for various reasons including diet issues and some health concerns, but now we really love the academic benefits and the free time for other creative outlets that she also enjoys. However, I feel like she would adore school, spending all day with other kids her age and really having a chance to be around others beside me. I am concerned that being an only child can be really isolating for such an extrovert, and I don't want my academic goals for her to cloud my judgement regarding her social needs. We do our best to schedule play-dates, spend time with cousins, trips to museums, weekly swimming, almost daily library trips, but it sometimes doesn't feel like enough. SWB once told me during an online conference not to confuse schooling with socialization, but I feel like I cannot provide the interaction she needs with other kids on a consistent basis at home without siblings. Parents of extroverted only children.... please give me some advice or share your experience homeschooling an only and how it plays out in terms of their socialization. Did sending them to school help? Did they resent you for keeping them home? How do you meet their social needs if you home-school? I know I sound like so many people who constantly question hs'ers about their children's socialization, but I am truly concerned about it for my only, and am asking for your wisdom on the topic. Thanks in advance hive!
  2. *SIGH* My boys are 9 1/2 and 7.8 years old. Both with Severe-Profound Dyslexia. This is our second year of homeschooling and they have made SOOOOO much progress (ds1 is *reading* now, for example!!!!!!). BUT, hubby is still not entirely on board. He still worries ALOT about the "socialization" aspect (man, I hate that word!) of being "at home every day". He has voiced this to me before, but last night had some dream (not about us or our boys) that caused the worries to resurface/become prevalent (I suspect he worries about it more than he has told me). He worries that our boys don't / won't have friends, that they "won't ever have a girlfriend because they won't have the social skills", that they "won't ever get to go to a school dance" (cuz those are so full of positive experiences?!?, hmmph). Currently, we go to Co-op every Friday (drawback, it is on opposite side of town (30ish minutes) from where we live, so pretty much only see those kids at Co-op) where my boys Love to go and see friends they've made. We to to Y PE (once a week) where they also have friends. We to 4H (meetings once a month; Archery once a week). And we have done a few other classes here and there (art, music, etc). What else can I do to reassure my hubby (without handing him lots of articles/reading material....he won't read!) that our boys are not going to turn into social misfits simply by not being IN a school all day everyday with same age kids?
  3. We're just wrapping up our first year of homeschooling in the Bronx. This first year we tried some things we liked; we started to get into a rhythm. There is more we want to do next year. But one of the things we definitely want to do is connect on a regular basis with other Christian homeschooling families. We have been part of a huge association of NYC homeschoolers this year (NYCHEA). Mostly we joined them for field trips. But my children are craving more regular interaction with one group of children their own age, and for me, I am looking for a Christian group. Does anyone have any suggestions of how I could try to make this happen for my family next year? Thanks for your help.
  4. Hi there, I'm currently homeschooling my two oldest boys, who are about to turn 7 and 9. We go to a co-op that meets for a few hours once a week, and we go to Sunday school and church every week. That's where my boys get the majority of their social time. I'm wondering if this is enough. There's one boy who lives a couple doors down who comes over occasionally, but he doesn't get home until after 4pm so it's hard to find the time. I don't know of any other kids their age in the neighborhood. My oldest son does gymnastics, but he hasn't made any friends through it yet. My second son goes to karate, but he also doesn't have friends there. They both did little league for the first time this past spring, but I don't know if they're going to have any friendships come out of that. It seems like the kids who did little league all knew each other already, and I don't know if we're going to get any playdates out of it. I'm particularly concerned for my oldest son because all 3 of his friends that were his age at church have moved, so now he doesn't have any friends there. He has one good friend at co-op, but I'm wondering if that's enough. How much social time is enough? How many friends is enough? How do you know? I must confess that my husband and I both carry baggage from our childhoods when it comes to lack of friends and not fitting in, and I'm concerned for my kids. I don't want them to conform, but I do want them to feel ok with who they are and to feel that they are wanted as friends. Does that make sense? I don't know if I'm being paranoid. I'd appreciate any thoughts on the matter. Erin
  5. OK, so one of the arguments I frequently hear against homeschooling is that kids who are not exposed to negative experiences with their peers (i.e. bullying, though that word is typically not used) will fail to gain crucial life experience in dealing with other people. Why do people make this argument? What research I have seen on bullying does not show positive gains of any sort as a result of the bullying--quite the contrary. Nor do I know any adults who honestly ascribe strength of character or ability to cope with challenging people and situations to the bullying they received as children. Are the people who make these claims people who were not bullied (or perhaps were bullies themselves?) Or is there something else behind the insistence that traumatic social experiences are in some way a critical component of a healthy childhood?
  6. Ok I am feeling down right now and need to vent. I really am regretting homeschooling my kids. I have always homeschool our 2 youngest and our oldest from 4th grade. I see that the socialization is a big problem for my boys. My dd is doing fine, but my boys on the other hand are/have really struggled in this area. I have done everything I can possibly think of: church, sports, get together with other homeschoolers and non homeschoolers, clubs, co-ops, etc. Our youngest ds is 16 and does nothing during the week. He goes to church Wednesday and Sunday that's it. I do try my best to get a few of their homeschooled friends--who live a good ways away from us--together once or twice a month. I found out tonight that the church that my kids go to, which is a huge church, no one there has anything to do with my ds. On Sunday's he said he goes to class, goes to the main service and then outside to wait on me. On Wednesday's same thing happens. He does not talk to anyone and no one talks to him! Even though I have LOVED having my kids with me and teaching them, I regret everything about their social life and I don't know how to fix it. I am so hurt right now that I don't even know what to do. I can not put them in the local school system--it is an awful school. We have enrolled them in a cyber school. My son will be dual enrolled in our local Community College this yr and will go twice a week. How many kids his age will be there and in his class..no idea What have you done in this situation?
  7. I am considering HSing for my rising 6th grader next year. In this case, the socialization issue IS an obstacle and I would welcome suggestions for overcoming it. Our other sons are grown, so this fantastic child is like an only in many ways. We live overseas, and the language barrier limits the availability of extracurricular activities. He is part of a sports team and we are looking for other possibilities. Ideas?
  8. I have always said that my kids get PLENTY of socialization. I have never worried about that at all. But now my 9 year old daughter is in counseling, and she feels lonely and unloved. She doesn't have any close friends even though she's in lots of activities. So she and the counselor think that if she were in school, it would really help her because she would be able to interact with kids her own age and the teachers all day, every day. She would hopefully develop relationships with many of those people. She is usually home with me and her brother who is 11 and our baby. Homeschooling her has been a struggle all along. I'm just really at a loss and the grass is looking much greener on the other side. Is it possible that it is in this particular case?
  9. The NY Times ran an article yesterday documenting recent research on "bullying" among the popular cliques in middle and high schools and I've written a blog post outlining my take on this in the context of homeschooling: http://www.knittedthoughts.com/2011/02/homeschooling-and-socialization.html I'd love to hear what you think of it and what your experiences have been as homeschoolers when it comes to the "socialization" question. Thanks, Holly
  10. I just returned from the pediatrician's office. I was there on Monday with ds9 who has had 'lyme-like' symptomology for two weeks now and presented with a suspicious bulls-eye 'kind-of' rash last weekend. We were there today for dd11's well visit but first we went over ds' blood test results. Well, he tested positive for two bands of lyme's which according to the ped, means he does not have lyme disease. :banghead: His white count is LOW - indicating that his body is fighting a viral infection - really? But, apparently, not lyme's. :banghead: He tested negative for mono and he is not anemic. So, the fatigue is not from either of those things. BUT, ACCORDING TO CDC PARAMETERS, NO LYME'S. But, she did write for the doxy on Monday; I traded her blood work for a doxy scrip. Ridiculous in my mind.......I would have expected her to say something like: 'It's good he is already taking the doxy.' But, no. He has his well visit next week. PED said we will re-assess his symptomology next week. WHY? I wanted to ask. He is on the doxy - we disagree as to what it is. What is there to re-assess? I brought him in with what any reasonable individual would say resembled a bulls-eye mark. She was not impressed with it. :confused: With Lyme's, I tend to take anything the ped says with a grain of salt. We have a protocol with which I am comfortable. I do have LLMDs that we can see if need be, but right now, I am okay with what we are doing. We will most likely, however, make an appointment and try to see one down the road. I have come to the conclusion that Lyme's has become just like everything else, i.e., education, nutrition, parenting.....you name it. Some 'group,' 'agency,' or whomever has decided WHEN an individual (that would be you or me) needs to take action. Until then, we are supposed to sit and do, well, nothing......unless, like a great number of people on this board, one decides to take matters into their own hands and do what she/he/they thinks or knows is best; I see homeschooling as an example of that. And, I do observe that at least where I live, many, many people are perfectly willing to abrogate whatever rights they have, and let some governing agency do the thinking for them. The pediatrician also spent about 3-5 minutes questioning DD11 about 'social activities': 'who do you play with?' ANSWER: 'My brother and sister. I have play dates with my friends from private school. I play with kids at the pool. We have made friends with other families who homeschool and we have playdates with them. I am in two co-ops and I have friends in those. I am invited to birthday parties for all of those kids. Oh, I have friends in lacrosse, choir and handbells and I go to birthday parties for all of those friends too.' DOCTOR: 'What about the kids in your neighborhood?' dd11's ANSWER: 'We don't live in a neighborhood. There are a few kids on our road, but not near our house. We see them at the pool.....sometimes. They are in daycare from first thing in the morning till the evening in the summer. And at before and after care during school. My brother, sister and I are around. They are not.' DOCTOR: 'How much television do you watch in a day?' DD11's ANSWER: ' We don't watch tv. We don't have cable or satellite or FIOS. We haven't had tv in......how long now, mom?' ME: 'Six months tomorrow.' DD11: 'Yes - no television for six months. We don't miss it. Mommy and Daddy bought tons of games at the homeschool conference, and M and E and I play lots of games. And, we paint, and we read, and we walk the dog and play with the dog. Oh, and we have started knitting Christmas presents. And, we help make dinner. And we spend time at the library.' The pediatrician (who has been seeing us now for four years) looks at us like she doesn't know what to make of us.:001_huh: Good grief! Are we THAT atypical? Really? Last night DH and I went out to dinner for my birthday. It was nice - we laughed, we talked, we had fun. We also like to watch people. Our table at the restaurant was surrounded by four other tables. All families with at least two teens at each table (maybe 13 and older). EVERY TEEN at EVERY TABLE (and dh brought it to my attention) ate with their cell phone in their hand. And would put down his/her fork to text. IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER. I am willing to allow (having raised two teenage daughters already) that one is willing to put up with just about anything to enjoy the privilege of having their teens join them for dinner, BUT what I observed was NOT families having dinner out and sharing and exhanging. It was 4 or 5 people sitting at a table eating food and the non-parental units were engaged in communication with someone on the other end of a device. They were disengaged......is that the word I want? Dh used a word or phrase and I cannot remember it. The parents did not appear to do much talking. So today at the peds office, I wondered if the pediatrician questions the families I saw at dinner last night the way she questioned us (you know, that oddball family who homeschools in Fairfax County where the award winning schools are). Things seem to be so screwed up.:001_huh: That is all.:glare: EXCEPt FOR THIS: WAIt A MINUTE: I know why the peds questions 'bothered' me........I honestly (just realized this) do not EVER EVER EVER remember dc being asked those questions when all three kids were in private school. At a visit last year when we had started h-schooling, the ped asked questions that I thought odd and I DID ask her about the nature of the questions. She did respond that she was concerned that since we were now homeschooling, perhaps the kids would be lacking social interaction and contact with other kids. YES - THAT's WHAt HAPPENED! We were living in the hotel (had just moved in) and things were CRAZY, and I didn't give it more than 2 minutes thought. But THAT is why I thought it odd today.:svengo:
  11. I'm specifically asking regarding unschooled kids. In my area, there are SO many more unschooled homeschooling families than traditionally or classically homeschooled. Therefore, many of our homeschooling friends "do school" in a different way. My son asked me today about one of our friends, and why he "doesn't do school work" (a.k.a. table work). I had to do the dance around it a little and explain how all families choose what they think is right, and have different ways of doing things, different ways of learning things, etc. But it does seem awkward and weird to explain this. The fact is, even though I enjoy their friendship and love the kids having play time together, I disagree with their educational methods, and we won't ever choose to do things that way. But of course, I don't say this to DS....I try to spin some positive light on what they are doing so as not to sound critical of our friends. Has this happened to you, and how did you respond to your DC? I'm looking for a more articulated answer to give DS..... Thanks! - Stacey
  12. (refer to http://teacherrevised.org/2009/05/30/the-case-against-homeschooling/ if you're wondering about the title) I've been wanting to ask this for a while and now seems like a good time: 1) How do you define socialization? 2) Do you have specific socialization goals for your kids? 3) What are you doing to achieve them? I know some people think that proper socialization is the result of a happy, healthy home life and there is no need to go out of one's way to provide social education (for lack of a better term), and others almost make it a subject area, with curriculum, measurable progress, etc. What do you think?
  13. I am getting to the point where I *only* want my children to socialize with home schoolers. Not because I think home schoolers are better or because I am a snob. It is because I am so sick of my children being made fun of, called stupid and coming to me in tears because other children who are not home schooled are so cruel to them. We have met a few families that have PS children who are decent but they just do not understand home schoolling. Yesterday, for example, a child at my DH softball game told my son that he was lying about taking Tae Kwon Do classes because if he is home schooled he can't attend classes. This little boy also called my son stupid and that I could not possibly teach him well because I don't know everything. He said that he knows he is smarter than my son because all my son does is stay home all day doing nothing. This same type of story has happened over and over again. It just breaks my heart for him. This is my sweet little monkey that is bright and compassionate and funny and SMART. He has just finished 3rd grade and he is a few grades above that in some areas. He loves latin. He has a wonderful mind that lends itself to wonderful inventions. He can find a loophole in anything you say. It just makes me so darn mad. What have you all done about situations like this? Sometimes talking to the parents helps the teasing stop. We have invited some children to our house for a fun activity and the kids have shown them some of the things we do. I have tried to teach them an attitude of letting it roll off their backs. Saying that these children just do not understand what we do or how we do it. My kids know that but it does not make them feel better when they are being teased *again*.
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