For me it always comes back to me and only me. When I get myself in a good space, I can influence dh, and the kids. I get myself in a better space by meditation, exercise, time away from everyone, prayer, reading uplifting books, and having a good look at what is bothering me or stressing me out and looking at what *I* can do to influence it. Waiting for anyone else to change never works for me, although I have been known to give them a metaphorical kick in the butt at times.

Yes, that is what I would do. I find I end up educating other kids fairly regularly on basic etiquette. To be fair I guess their parents don't even know whats going on. One of my pet peeves is other kids phoning my kids and when I answer the phone they just ask "can I speak to .....?" without even telling me who they are. I just gently ask- "who is speaking, please? " Most of them learn after a time or two to tell me who they are when they phone.

I have always had this problem and find standing in queues difficult if I cant sit, move around or lean against a wall. I remember as a kid finding it very difficult to wait in lines at school, and I didn't understand why, since everyone else seemed fine. I have extremely low blood pressure, which is hereditary, so I presume that is why.

:bigear: I am interested in this too.

I have a Thermomix so nowadays I buy it ungrated and grate it myself- takes seconds. I have heard that the grated stuff has extra chemicals in it to keep it from clumping.

Beautiful post! I love the way you put into words the needs of this type of kid- I can really relate to that.

I am fighting my ds15 far less now that he is at school. And I love my more peaceful days. It wasn't his choice to go but he was willing. I think sometimes homeschooled kids develop an unecessary fear of school. It may be exactly what your daughter needs, and it doesn't mean she cant come home again one day, if that feels right- its not a decision that has to be forever. My son is realising the years of plenty of free time were a blessing he took for granted. But there are plenty of things about school that are good for him, like sport, that I wasnt able or willing to provide.

Beautiful.

You are a sweetheart- no I am not upset. It's just my interest, but I am no expert- just a fellow journeyer, and i like to read widely which sometimes gives me a different perspective. I am sitting here reading the Longevity Now program by David Wolfe- now, he is an expert. I learn a lot from him.

I wouldn't make a fuss at all, including saying anything is innapropriate, because it isn't, and saying it is and that she cant play with him alone is making it into something it isn't. They are 10! I too would encourage the friendship as just that, instead to taking it into the realms of forbidden sexuality, where it just isn't.

Excalibur is I have heard the best, and i have one. But itis also not cheap. I used to have a circular one and it was pretty useless compared to what i can do in my Excalibur.

I love my bedroom- which is mine alone- dh has an adjacent bedroom. It is light, the sunlight comes in, it is fairly zen and airy and spacious, and I love my king size bed all to myself :) It is on the first floor and has a juliette balcony and it looks out over the leafy, green front garden but has a large tree for privacy from the road and also beauty. I often have birds straight outside my window. I love going to bed and reading or just being in my room- it is very much a beautiful sanctuary. Everyone else in the family loves visiting my room too. Afternoon naps. Reading a good book. Making food- I find cooking/preparing food comforting as long as I am not feeling stressed. Playing on my computer. Cleaning (sometimes).

That sounds like the diet I am on. I would actually like to see that pyramid, if you don't mind, because I might find it useful to show people too. I do believe that is the healthiest diet out there, not just for most individuals but also for the planet. A plant based, vegetable based diet. Not necessarily high in carbs- instead, high in vegetables. Some people do better on higher fat, a little higher protein- but protein is rough on the kidneys. Every time someone says a diet is backed by science, I just want to say "but so is the complete opposite diet". You have to have an open mind and read really widely to get the bigger picture. This paleolithic thing irks me. I do not think it is based on science- it is based on a theory that our hunter and gatherer ancestors, before they settled down, ate a diet high in meat because they didn't have grains. We have this image of these super healthy people tracking through the jungle killing game, while the women gathered a few berries to supplement. I was very surprised (at first, until I thought about it) to hear an Australian aboriginal lecturer say recently that white people have the wrong impression altogether about that. He said that the women supplied 90-95% of the diet through foraging and collecting. The men only occasionally killed something and meat only supplied a small % of the diet. He said hunting game was not easy (you ever tried hitting a kangaroo with a spear or boomerang?) and he was in great praise of women and a little self depreciating about the men- in a humorous way. That made me completely rethink the whole paleo diet approach- high protein, low carb. It may not be based on fact at all, but theory. I also think many diets will work- but can you live on them for the rest of your life?

Lol Negin, do you follow me around and save all my posts? :) I dont even know if the above is true. I have read bits and pieces about it. I know I was on it for a couple of years then stopped. Hormones are funny things and there is no set protocol that will work for everyone. I think it pays to educate yourself then be willing to experiment. Yes, it is possible to overdose on progesterone- but you will feel very sleepy so thats a good warning sign. And it probably wont actually do you harm, but the research just hasn't been done. It pays to be an adventurer and experiment with yourself. It is probably also worth getting hormone testing. I am lazy about that.

I wonder the same, Sandra. In retrospect, I wish I had found a way to back off and encourage the self motivation earlier- with both kids. The last year before they have both gone off out of the home, was very difficult for me but I was trying so hard, really pushing and getting exasperated by the resistance, every day. In other words, I kept upping the consequences, the force, and getting more resistance. I wish I had tried something different. It has worked to send them off. But I wish I had found a better way while they were still here.

Its such fun. You get very, very messy and covered in paint. It's a huge celebration. I sometimes wish we had more festivals like this in the West. We tend to be pretty serious about our religion overall.

There are many ways to lose weight but the point is, will it stay off? I think its to do with learning and establishing new habits. I like the No S Diet for its simplicity, its freedom, and the fact that its all about your habits, not what you eat. Its something you can stay on for the rest of your life, and no one else would even need to know. You don't have to eat weird food or make radical changes. And its free.

I must admit the whole "respect your parents just because they are your parents" idea hasn't gone down too well here, though I get lots of points for trying. You can demand/force obedience and compliance but it often backfires and it definitely doesn't automatically bring about a sense of respect. Fear maybe, resentment most likely. Some kids are just wired like that and one of mine is. I did a weekend workshop recently called Non Violent Communication and it is giving me a fresh way of communicating with my teens. It may not resonate with you but it is actually working here. For example- in the past, they would leave their dirty dishes in the loungeroom. I would see them, nag, get upset, and eventually they would take them to the kitchen. Rinse, repeat- for years. DH has been trying to get the kids to automatically do their chores for years- and he really believes in making kids respect him. But they didn't. They still "forgot" whenever they thought they could get away with it. My approach has changed- I forget sometimes but I am trying something new. And it feels better on my heart. I am asking. Nicely. I am asking "Would you be wiling to cleanup this area before dinner? I am feeling annoyed with the mess here because I really appreciate a tidy loungeroom. " So far, the answer has always been "yeah, sure" and they do it. But they do have a choice. They can say no. If they sense they cant say no and that my "ask" is really a "demand", which is very different, I am careful to not jump into "but you have to or else". Then I can ask them if they will talk to me about why they don't want to- and we talk. Communication happens. Another example is my son now at school. I do NOT want to be the one standing over him telling him to do his work, to study, etc. He has asked for my help, but he gets upset when he cant do something and often wants to give up. Instead of telling him he *has* to finish it, I ask him what he would like to do about it and leave it up to him. I don't want to be his motivation- he needs to find it in himself now. I will support him 100% though. I realised how unkindly I had learned to talk to my kids when they weren't doing what I wanted them to do, in the name of parental authority and demanding respect. And I am changing. I have shared this with them and they understand- it doesn't mean they never do the dishes or pick up after themselves or do what needs to be done- but I am not riding them about it anymore- they have a choice, just like I do. I am asking. Nicely. Believe me, this is a new concept to me as I thought you had to "make" a child do things. Maybe you do sometimes -I don't know and I am dealing with teens. SO my suggestion is just to examine what that means- "lack of respect for parental authority"- and whether its an effective strategy- whether its working or whether the cost of upping the consequences is really worth it- or whether it will just hurt everyone more. With a fairly compliant kid, this issue isn't really an issue. They just obey mostly- I have one of those too. But with a kid that wont obey- I think its worth considering our own concepts around it all and be open to a different approach, because their needs are different.

I have had 3, and each one I felt left because the time wasn't right. They did however prepare me for when the time was right.

I know what you mean about something sudden and life changing usually seeming bad...but often that might be an initial impression and things that look bad turn out good( and vice versa such as Lotto ruining people's lives), even if we wouldn't have chosen them. Or rather.....they make us grow, they stretch us out of our boxes, the comfort zones we have settled into. They remind us that life is unpredictable and insecure....and that can bring us alive to a certain extent. They can remind us not to take any day for granted.

I just want to say I love you all and I don't want to leave anyone out so consider yourselves all :grouphug:

My son has a swollen gland on teh left side- it is visibly swollen, about an inch across, and very painful. We have been having tests done- blood tests and ultrasound. They dont know what it is, so now he is on antibiotics. It might have been Epstein Barr (glandular fever- I think you guys have another name for it) but it wasn't. Mumps- apparently not. The doctor called it lymphedenitis which didnt help much as that could mean all sorts of things. She doesn't know. If the antibiotics he started last night don't work he will have to get a needle biopsy. It could be a bacteria that is hard to treat. But overall....I am not worried, but that could say more about me than what he has! Yes it could be something sinister but the chances are small. He seemed to be feeling better this morning although the gland was still up. He took one day off school but we dont want him to get behind and it doesnt seem to be infectious- the doctor said it was fine that he goes to school if he feels well enough. ANd now that he has it, other people are mentioning a similar condition. Someone at his school had something like it and had the biopsy. We dont want to go there until we have to. THe glands are part of the lymphatic and the immune system. It could be all sorts of things- many things make glands swell, and they usually involve an infection, which is not cancer at all. So....dont worry. Just get it checked out.

It seems to be something school kids get into at a very young age and generally it doesn't mean much. I know my own dd wasnt interested at all at that age and when a boy from down the road fell in love with her and tried to kiss her (he was besotted- they were both 11) she kneed him in the thigh, really hard. No messing with my girl. So actually i didnt have to deal with the issue at that age. I think its worth thinking what your overall approach will be. Mine is to allow it to unfold naturally and not interfere if at all possible. That has worked for us but YMMV.

I sign just from me because it feels more honest to me, since dh has trips with my family, doesn't write letters, and generally has no input, and wouldnt even know I was writing most of the time. I am often the same with presents- I really check in with myself whether it feels more honest for me to just sign from me, or from the whole family, and it definitely varies per situation. SOmetimes if its someone that I have a close relationship with and have gone out of my way to buy a nice present (or write a letter), I will definitely sign just from me. But if its my MIL- a present will be from all of us, and I dont write letters but if I did, it would be from me.

Hi Negin- it is wonderful just as a cleansing agent and apparently in India there is a saying "you dont need a mother if you have triphala- it takes such good care of you". Something like that ") It works on many levels and if you take it long term, cleanses the liver and deeper tissues and can even bring up emotional issues to be cleansed. I take capsules. Sometimes i buy powder since it is cheaper and I put it in capsules myself. Last time I bought 3 bottles of capsules from the Himalayan herbal company in India (through ebay). IN India they put the powder in a glass of hot water, stir it and let it settle, and then drink off the liquid but not the sediment. I have tried that many times but it tastes very bitter and I just don't like it- and although I am sure it is better take as a powder because the taste buds get involved- I cant do it :) And it works well in capsule form anyway.