:grouphug: When you and dh talk with them, approach them without resentment or anger and don't let them provoke you to feeling guilty. Setting limits and boundaries are a good thing, we set them all the time (think your kids, neighbors etc.), but in-laws often expect to be treated a certain way.
I hope everything goes well. I don't even know you or your dh, but I'm pretty proud of the two of you. :hurray: