Honestly, one of my kids was like this. I'd suggest not spanking and using consequences. Little kids are SUPER smart!! You can "create" consequences to help them learn. If I had it to do over again... I'd act more like I did when I was a nanny :) I was extremely consistent, didn't spank & had REALLY good kids. (they weren't for their parents) 2 yr old was throwing a tantrum at the mall... fine, I picked up cookies for older and me... "Looks like children who behave get treats".... Bummer.... sorry you threw a fit.... Time out each time they didn't listen.... Not getting mad... (except VERY occasionally :)) And though I timed out the kids (and that was when the little one was really little, to seem "fair" to the older one) I also talked about how to behave. Practice, Practice, Practice. Little kids are NOT too little to practice listening. Not coming at the park?? Over and over practice about coming.... Throwing a fit on the way.... time out when you get there, while everyone else is playing. (And not starting to play till the screaming stops) etc.... That's why I think that spanking is really NOT good... Unless you believe that you should spank each time they misbehave, and then you're still gonna have to have a consequence to go along with it.... (So, when they throw a fit... no tv today/this am whatever... is still ok...) It's harder to consistently consequence kids... than to spank.... Just a thought :) (And yes... I did spank my kids... and now regret it :()