I was a horrible person to my dh in our second year of marriage right after losing my dad and brother in an accident. I said things I definitely don't feel or believe to push him away. I was hurt, angry, sad, miserable, etc. I know how fortunate I am now, 16 years later, to have dh in my life and for him to know it wasn't the real me. He pushed me to get help and I eventually listened. I hurt all over again when I remember how I treated him. It most definitely wasn't a reflection of my real feelings.

We never had rules and encouraged discussion. I remember it took dh forever to get through many books. The longest ones seemed to be Animal Farm, Watership Down, and Romeo and Juliet. There were nights that he would read for an hour or more and only get through a few pages. All questions and dialogue were related to the stories being read and both dh and the girls still remember some of those discussions. Now, at 17 and 14, they read all books on their own but they still love to hash them out with us.

I know almost nothing about ASD services here other than I have seen many buildings offering services. I think if you Google ASD services of Indianapolis there is a site with information. We live near Indianapolis and it's much less homophobic than any other place we've lived (except California). There is also a large group, Indiana Youth Group, specifically for non straight teens downtown. They have meetings and get togethers every week. It's just a safe place for them to be with others like them. We have one who will be off to college soon and we've been pleased with the state Universities we've visited. Tuition doesn't seem crazy. We moved from the south and our cost of living has gone down.

Is Justin Timberlake really appropriating someone else's culture? I see some of the other examples mentioned but not him. I liked the speech but I don't get the Timberlake issue at all. Yes, he could have responded better to the poster but I don't think he deserved the initial response at all. FTR, I'm not a fan of his and own none of his music. I'm familiar enough with it though that this whole thing has me shaking my head.

I've already stated one should do better when they know better. It's why dh and I don't spank. I've also stated that my parents didn't need to spank and could have done better. I'm also stating that being spanked while growing up did not cause issues with us. I hear you that it does with some, maybe even most, but it's not factual that it does with all.

I don't know that we don't have problems? None of us have ever had issues with drugs or alcohol. We're all college educated and have all had healthy long term relationships. All of us are married (all in first marriages ranging from 18-20+ years). All are successful in careers or being stay home parents. I'm the only one that's been treated for any mental health issues and that was for depression right after losing my dad in a car accident. I don't think spanking is necessary for any but I don't at all agree that it causes problems for all who are spanked. I stand by my statement that we we have no issues. I chose not to spank my own children but all of my siblings haven't made the same decision. Their children are doing as well as my own.

I was spanked growing up and have no issues with it. Neither do my siblings. It wasn't done often but it was done. That said, I don't spank. Dh was never spanked growing up but we did spank oldest once or twice and decided that wasn't for us. We found other ways to get the same results. My parents could have done the same but parented mostly how they had been parented, except they were spanked worse and more often. So, they changed a bit for the better and then I did the same to completely do away with spanking.

I've driven through 34. I've spent a significant amount of time in 20. I've lived in 5.

I was 22 with oldest and almost 25 with youngest.

I agree with the Florastor recommendation. Oldest ended up with cellulitis recently and was on two different antibiotics. I've been giving Florastor twice a day around the medicines and will continue for a few weeks after. She's also adding yogurt in when she can

We have an awesome family doctor. We actually have his cell number and have been in contact with him after hours and on weekends when a dd is really sick (like a recent case of cellulitis). We can also get in on the same day when sick. Specialists are different and especially those in mental health. Oldest had to be hospitalized to get the attention she needed. We now have one who won't listen to us, to dd, or the psychologist. We're almost back to square one and having to go on a list to wait months for someone who will treat her as she needs. We can allow the pediatrician to do so but it's such a gamble. Something needs to change.

I'm trying to raise my dds to be independent, confident women who can take care of themselves and are able to stand up for themselves. I also want them to have good, healthy relationships of their own. I can't imagine the message it would send to let dh be so irrational about something so trivial and to actually bend to his will on this to avoid making waves. If he refuses to listen to you, I would really push counseling to let him know how irrational his thinking is on this.

Of course!

My dd was hospitalized for a week. It was voluntary but if she wanted to leave, we and the doctors had to agree. She's a minor though. Even being a minor, we are not told everything. She mostly has to agree to what is shared. We were told about any medication they put her on. They had set visiting times and a list of what was and wasn't allowed clothing wise so we were able to bring her things. She was also allowed short phone calls at set times. After release, it was best for my dd to continue a strict schedule. Everything was scheduled out in her facility and we came up with one at home. We stuck to that for several months until she felt okay without it. Finding a good therapist was also key. She went often after her release. It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever been through. Leaving her each time was painful. We also started therapy for our other dd because it was very hard for her to see her sister like that. I hope things get better soon for you and your family.

I would have a private conversation with dh and basically tell him he needs to knock it off. I also would make it clear to him that I don't agree and will have dds back on this one. I have two teen dds and there is no way that would fly here.

I think all should have this conversation with kids who go out with friends and their parents as well. Oldest went out to eat with a friend and her parents one night and the dad, who was driving, had drinks with dinner. I was happy oldest sent us a text. They weren't hanging out there for hours and I don't know his tolerance.

We used to offer a sip here and there if they wanted but don't anymore. Oldest took us up on the offer only twice. She had one sip of wine and one sip of beer. She didn't like either. Youngest never tried any due to the smell. We no longer offer sips since oldest has anxiety and is on medication. She knows that would be bad. They are 14 and 17 now and tell us more than we want to know. Alcohol isn't an issue for either.

Dh and I married after dating for only four months. No way would I have went along, and been okay, with separate holiday celebrations. I don't get that and it wasn't something my family ever practiced. My brother married a girl he started dating at 15. She was welcomed at all holiday and special occasions. There has also been divorce in my family (none of the above mentioned) but all are welcome and we do our best.

When I say no driving after a drink, I mean I wait a sleep cycle. I'm not a day drinker though because it makes me sleepier than normal and sleepier much earlier in the day (so I wouldn't want to drive then either). We're not teetotalers either as both dh and I are having a drink now, as we do most nights, but we're in for the night.

Dh and I had no problem having a drink with dinner and then driving prior to having kids. Since then we have no drinks period prior to driving.

Mine are 14 and 17 and I think they actually know more than I do. Both shooting occurances in FL involved people or a community they care about so they felt connected and have kept up. I kept them up to date on the sweet little boy killed at Disney.

A gator attack is very rare. Like I said, we would have them in the retention ponds in our neighborhood and they bothered no one. Not even the people fishing on the bank. They would also run from the idiots who tried to capture them. The only times I felt they became a threat is when I would see someone feed them because it would make them more likely to come near humans. I always made phone calls about that.

We watch and love it here. It was actually our dds who started watching first and told us we had to as well.

Oldest dd is 17 so this is something that she would have to do at 18, right? If there was a draft anytime soon, she wouldn't actually make it in to the military though due to her mental health issues (not to mention her asthma) right? I mean she takes several pills a day to function close to something normal. They wouldn't really ever put a gun in her hand would they? I hate the idea of a draft for men and women.

An attack is rare. You just coexist. Our home in Florida back up to a retention pond and there were often small gators in them. They never bothered anyone. Spotting a black bear in the neighborhood wasn't all that rare either.