I just don't think I would view it as that different because they would be my grandchildren. I wouldn't think of it as providing daycare. It's honestly something, at least at this point in time, that I would love to do.

I don't have grandkids yet but I don't think I would accept payment. I've stayed home for the last 17 years anyway and not made money.

I'd have the party because I would be focusing more on building / repairing the relationship with him than on punishments, especially at his age. I would imagine the punishments aren't going to make him stop but will help him get better at hiding it.

We lived in St. Augustine for almost ten years (moved less than a year ago). It's never taken more than an hour to get to airport (usually 45 minutes). Dh worked in Jacksonville and that was usually an hour commute due to rush hour traffic. There are areas where you can have land. We lived next to several small farm type properties and horses but the beach was only 20 minutes away. The area was also very walkable with lots of sidewalks. There were lots of homeschool groups but they were too conservative for us. There could be better ones now as its been several years since I looked into them.

I think it also depends upon whether it is short or long term. I was always paid more for short term because we knew it was ending. If it's long term, I would expect around $75-100/week. If it's short term (just for summer...), I would expect around $150/week.

Do they have things they want to do outside of the home? I wouldn't go digging through their clothes. If my dds don't do their laundry, then they don't have clothes to wear and miss out on something. Or they have to wear dirty clothes or something they don't want to in order to go. It doesn't take that happening too often, at least here, for them to do what they need to.

Do people really tell their children to ask to be excused from the table? In those actual words? I've never once used those words with my dds or told them they have to ask first. They are now almost 17 and 14 and neither have ever just got up and left the table in the middle of a meal. They've never left a restaurant table and never left a dinner at someone else's home either. Home is different and we eat and chat but they are welcome to leave after eating if they want. Mine also do their own laundry and I don't even check up on it anymore. They never wear wrinkled clothes to church or somewhere nice (like a recent school awards ceremony) but some everyday clothing is wrinkled if they stuff it somewhere. It's their thing and I don't get involved anymore. I would get on them about helping out with after dinner dishes and food. Mine help whenever ask and do what is asked. If they totally blew it off, we would have a discussion and I would probably ask them more frequently than normal to help out with those things for a bit to make sure they get it. I agree with those who say they would consider adjusting expectations, especially as they get older.

We moved a few months ago and will be buying a new home soon. We are purposefully looking for something, preferably with a walk out basement, that will allow dds to live at home and go to the nearby state university but still feel on their own. I want them to be able to get their degree and start off with no debt. As long as one is working or going to school and contributing around the house,I don't see a problem.

There are many animals in captivity that aren't in danger of dying out. So, I don't really get why that's a credible argument. If those animals were the only ones being kept, maybe I could see the argument. That's not the case, though.

We don't like zoos. They just seem sad and depressing. Dds won't go to them at all, along with circuses and Sea World. They don't mind going to actual rescues, but those are set up very differently.

When oldest dd was born, we lived in California. We purposefully chose to move to a lower COL state (and even live with parents for the first month) so one of us could stay home. Most of the choices we've made since have all been to make it easier for me to stay home but also allow us to do the things we enjoy (mostly travel). Everyone makes choices and they aren't all going to look the same as we all have different goals.

There is no boss here but I know I get my way more than I should so I try to use that power for good.

We paid right around $20K for a funeral (caskets, burial, etc.) and tombstone for my dad and brother. The money came out of an insurance settlement (car accident-other driver at fault) so it's honestly never been something we thought about.

This is something I don't understand because I don't view my marriage as a contract. Dh is my family. He feels the same. Even if we never had children, he is still my family. Actually, not just my family but the most important person to me in my family. Neither of us view marriage as a piece a paper or contract we've entered into. We want the best for each other and the best for our family. Right now, that means dh works from home and I stay home (not working), even though our dds are both teens and in ps. We will continue this as long as we are able even when they go off to college and move out. It's what works for us and has nothing to do with what standard of wife I am. It's simply what we want to do and we are fortunate right now to be able to do so.

Yes, but even core values change. Dh and I both have had big changes and life events. We've just continued to talk them out. We don't always change together but we're able to find common ground and respect.

:iagree: Dh and I did had talks but we were married four months after meeting so we couldn't possibly be certain about all of it. I was 21 and he was 25. That was just it for us. We're lucky 18 years later we're still strong and have weathered our changes and difficulties together. My FIL proposed on the first date with MIL and they've been married 54 years. Talking and planning can really only do so much and in the end it guarantees nothing. We honestly didn't think I would still be at home with both dds being teens and in ps yet here we are - and we're happy with it. Dh hopes I don't have to ever go back to work unless it is what I want. I don't see that happening unless we really need the money.

We rescued a senior dog a few years ago from a local shelter and after having her for two days realized she was deaf. She was never reactive to anyone, including our dds or other dog. She was an absolute sweetheart and we kept her until she died.

The bold isn't true. My dh has been in corporate America for many years now, decades even, and there are many who choose to be workaholics. They choose to be in the office and not with their families for numerous reasons. They exist, and I think are plentiful, but dh chooses not to be one. It has cost him a few times but it's not a life he chooses to live nor is it one I would accept. Dh and I have been married for 18 years and the only time he hasn't been home when he said was during his time in the Marines. In his world he just chooses to speak up and leave. It's never cost him a job. I get many don't have that option but it's not completely honest to say those in the office don't choose to be there.

Dh works from home. I don't work at all. Both dds are teens and in ps. I can only imagine what our neighbors and dh's coworkers think. I don't care because they honestly have no idea what we are dealing with. So, I would be the last person to judge.

We did a version of CIO with oldest. It seemed so easy and she was an awesome sleeper from then on until she wasn't (in her teens). We did it at 6 months old and it was a gentle approach and by the second night she was happily playing in her crib for a few minutes before falling asleep. She is also my kid with anxiety and depression issues as a teen. I don't think they're connected at all and don't blame myself but she definitely doesn't have less stress. We did no version of CIO with youngest because it never would have worked. She had some issues with feeding and she was needy. It just wasn't something we ever thought of. She's the best sleeper of the two now (but it took years!) and has no stress. She's one of the most well adjusted teens I know. She knows who she is, she likes herself, and she doesn't pretend for anyone. I don't think it is at all connected to how we decided she would sleep as a baby. My dds are who they are because it is who they are. I honestly think it has nothing to do with how they learned to sleep.

So, we may go return to homeschooling this fall. Both dds would be in high school and it might be a mix of dual enrollment, online, and maybe part time enrollment. A quick search tells me it looks fairly easy to homeschool here. Does anyone know what the rules are in Indiana for part time high school enrollment. I've seen a few things relating to sports but not if a student just wishes to take a few courses. The biggest reason we quit homeschooling in Florida after elementary school was the lack of groups. There were many around us but they were very conservative Christian groups and we just didn't fit in. So, I don't want youngest, who wouldn't be dual enrolled in college yet, to have such limited social contacts. We haven't even lived here a year yet so haven't made many connections. Does anyone know of any non-Conservative good groups for teens in the Indianapolis area? Any information would be helpful.

I didn't answer for dh's side but it was different than mine. My FIL was a Chaplain in the Army during Vietnam and he is still in therapy and on medication. He wasn't drafted but he thought he knew what he was getting into. Turns out he didn't. So,I can't imagine a draft ever again. I also don't believe it should ever be mandatory. Many of our young people serve their communities without force and are able to find something that fits their worldview. I don't think anyone should be forced. It won't end well at all.

My dad and two of his cousins all dropped out of college and signed up voluntarily during Vietnam. So, the draft didn't affect my family but only two of the three came home. I can't imagine a draft today. Neither of my dds would be capable of taking a human life, heck they don't kill bugs or spiders - they just relocate them. They've never been around guns either. So, they would be a liability to others and themselves. I would do everything in my power to get them out of it and feel no shame in saying so. Dh feels the same and he is a former Marine.

Meanwhile, in dd's high school they recently had a career dress up day for seniors. She came home surprised at the number of toy guns that were allowed in holsters due to cop or other uniforms. I also thought most places wouldn't allow that but it's evidently not true.

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