We did once, but it was too fatty for all our tastes.

This brings back traumatic memories for me. There were kids in my community who did not get the treatment they needed for vision and hearing problems as well as other more serious issues. I remember a kid who had tooth infection that caused an infection in lining of heart muscle which ultimately was fatal.

I do not have what I would consider a big family but I was once asked if I was singlehandedly trying to repopulate world. What mom of more than two hasn't been asked, "are all those yours?" Sometimes I think people are awkwardly attempting to make conversation and do not realize they're obnoxious. We had similar experiences when kids dyed their hair non-human colors. Really only one person intended to be nasty in his comments; some of the others just spoke before thinking.

What I meant was that I doubt accidents occur at the rate claimed. I conceived while conscientiously using the sponge. The manufacturer claimed a higher reliability rate than what transpired in real life. Some years later, it was taken off market.

Astrid, living around the type of poverty you described, but in a rural setting, has greatly affected my viewpoint on uncontrolled reproduction, particularly when there is access to birth control.

I agree. Assuming access to birth control and absent fertility problems, if someone is having sex without birth control, then they can, by default, expect a pregnancy. The pregnancy is not an "accident;" it is the functioning of the human reproduction system. Sometimes I wonder if people claim accident because of their fear of condemnation from others. Babies are inexpensive if you nurse, use hand me down clothing and cloth diapers, and baby has no serious medical problems. The bigger costs are down the road. My husband lost his job when we had a three month old, so I had to return to work almost full time until he found something else. For me personally, I am not comfortable having more children than I could provide for if my husband died. :iagree:

Yes, we still decorated when we were going out of town for Christmas.

I prefer Haven Lily from the list provided in original post.

I like the solid color Lands End tunics with a scarf, leggings, dangly earrings, and a bracelet.

I enjoyed sleepovers as a kid, both as host and guest, and I have often hosted them as a parent. However, I do not view them as a vital experience of childhood. Before WTM, I never knew they were controversial; I had always considered them a minor aspect of childhood.

I hope you find peace with your decision. You were initially drawn to house so perhaps you could focus on those features that attracted you. Seldom do buyers ever find what is perfect for them. We had an unforeseen problem with our current house that was a super expensive fix. We will never recoup our money. But we do not look at residence as an investment so that helps.

Re: Is it weird .... In the family culture of my childhood, you were expected to "meet up" with relatives if they were passing through your town. If they were blood relatives, you were expected to host them overnight in your home unless they already had family in the area; it was considered rude to expect them to stay in paid lodging. The children would sleep on pallet in living area to give their room/s to overnight guests. The term "relative" was used loosely. There were maybe a dozen surnames in the area (exaggeration). For instance, to my dad, our "kinfolk" included non-blood relatives such as aunts' and uncle's ex spouses' children from a prior marriage. Relatives also encompassed all your blood relatives spouse's distant relatives. It was a "more the merrier" situation. Extended family living was the norm. If the oldest sibling moved to a big city for work, he/she would pave the way for the other siblings. Paving the way meant that you would help familiarize your sib with the area and job opportunities and open your home to your sibling rent-free until they found work or while they were in school. With increasing mobility and declining sense of community, those cultural standards are disappearing, and we are so far away now that it is not an issue. The nostaglic part of me finds it a little sad. Personally we've held onto the culture but implemented the open-home concept differently by having siblings live with us, by offering respite housing to young people with chaotic homelifes (befriended by our kids), by opening our home to people working on behalf of national organizations that we support, and in other ways. Currently I miss semi-communal living. Imp, regarding the cousin in your city, I'd understand your declining because of the backstory, but what if she were a wonderful person who was nothing like her mother? You would have missed the opportunity for a new friend. I would not want to be pre-judged based upon a jerk parent. If she was not to your liking, well, you could always be busy, and she would eventually stop contacting you.

Oh, I forgot that they are supposed to put their name on the food if it is not to be shared with family.

Joanne, if the occasional minor amounts toward an emergency and/or retirement fund will give you any peace of mind, the psychological payoff may be well worth the small decrease in debt reduction. Your fortitude throughout the years has amazed me. In spite of tremendous obstacles not of your own making, you've found clever creative ways to give your children a first class education, to earn a professional degree yourself, to extricate yourself from an unhealthy relationship, to provide parenting counseling, etc. You owe no one any explanations or rationalizations to anyone.

We do not have a strategy. No, neither of us mind if the young adult children put their purchases in refrigerator, freezer, or pantry. However, I have asked that they keep the storage areas better organized. There have been numerous duplicate purchases due to poor visibility from overcrowding.

I am no help. After seeing photo, I want the lovely but unnecessary gadget too.

Insurance covered it, but it was a long time ago in late 80s. Our insurance was better then than now. It was performed because doctor suspected Downs or another type of chromosomal abnormality. Our child had developmental delays and some physical characteristics of Downs: the epicanthal folds, short stubby digits, flattish nose bridge. As I recall, not a lot of blood was drawn. I'm thinking it was just a heel stick but I could be wrong. In addition to blood drawing, they did measurements and took an extremely detailed family medical history on both sides of family. It was at a university teaching hospital so several professionals were involved. I think we got the results in 2 or 3 weeks.

How disappointing. That was same fate of several strip shopping centers a block or two from our old home. I hope you can find a warm weather replacement activity that all of will enjoy.

I would promptly return all the angels to the tree since you are not in a financial position to purchase the items wanted. Your children are old enough to understand the difficult truths of life. Explain to them how they can serve people with their time and come up with ideas to help that way. The dolly clothes for the choir-sponsored family can be your tangible gift contribution. Depending upon how much you have for "...little goodies, stocking stuffers,...", would you and all your children be willing to spend those funds on the choir-sponsored family or on one of the angels? I would certainly understand if no one wanted to do so, but based upon your original post, I see no other options if you want to give tangible gifts.

Sing it, sister! Another thing that annoys me is that compassion for humanity *should* be a perpetual emotion. It should be just as expected in July as in December.

I recognize the cute boy in background from your original avatar and what I assume now is his equally handsome sib. I've always liked your username too. Glad you did not change it.

The internet is like a giant playground for the DQs: a never-ending slew of fresh new prospects willing to listen sympathetically, uncritically and unquestioningly to the frequent dramatic status updates and posts. When the new ones tire and stop responding, there are always others to pick up the slack.

I hope this post makes more sense to others than it did to me.

Hm. I have never considered my guests freeloaders. If I want help from them, I will ask, but generally my intent is to serve a guest.

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