Congratulations, Joanne. I'm proud of you!

Another board member here who has been thinking about you and your tragedy over the weekend. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby, and I hope that you can find some comfort here.

Reasons we knew we were finished having children: Limited finances: Although we were under no legal obligation to do so, we wanted to pay for our children's vocational training or state college, so that they did not have debt upon completing education. We also wanted to provide them with a hooptie for transportation. I did not want more children than I thought I could support if I were widowed or divorced. Babies were cheap with nursing, cloth diapers and hand-me-down clothes. However, I wished to provide a few luxuries such as extracurricular activities in addition to needs of growing child. Limited time: Our last was a special needs child. Without going into detail, child slept no more than 5-6 hours per day by age one. I could not meet needs of future child due to time I needed to devote to this child. However, I recognize that many families go on to have more children after a special needs child; the limitations were and are my own. This particular child's needs were the reason that we decided to forego bearing the one more child we had originally planned. Medical issues: I suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum during each pregnancy. Weight loss, broken blood vessels in stomach lining, broken rib, sore muscles, subconjunctival hemorrhage, and acid-singed throat from repeated vomiting. To clarify, I was never especially drawn toward infants or to being pregnant. They payoff was the toddler years and beyond. I have had no regrets about stopping when we did.

When I hear people say things like "marriage is hard work" or "marriage is a full time job," I wonder exactly what hard work they are having to do to maintain a marriage. Perhaps they mean that it can be mentally taxing, but a strong marriage should not be consistently burdensome on one's emotions or mentality. My husband has always worked unbelievably long hours as I did in early marriage and late marriage. If marriage were such hard work, we would had to have chosen between our career and marriage.

:iagree:

I have not used pinterest, but supposedly it is a site where you post items of interest to you. Thus, a significant number of pinterest users find pillows, bracelets and recipes interesting. One of my acquaintances posted kids' Halloween costume ideas.

After an unexpectedly negative experience, I steadfastly refuse to read and comment upon anyone's writing. A friend who was a paid author of magazine articles of a certain bent asked me to review something he had written. It sounded like (and actually was) a watered down recycled mishmash of previous pieces that was devoid of his usual uniquely quirky sharp wit. Although I said spoke the truth in a softer, more diplomatic way than here, his feelings obviously were hurt even though he later acknowledged the accuracy of what I had told him. Maybe the fact that he was suffering a bad bout of depression at the time colored his response. Another thing I will never do: guess someone's age at their request. Even with good genetics, it is hard to hide aging without plastic surgery or other treatments. Eventually the treatment becomes obvious; it can only take about ten years off someone's age before being apparent. Although a majority of people believe they appear younger than their age, most do not. Usually adult ages can be guessed within about five years if you train yourself to overlook deceptive features such as babyfaces.

It is not a solution for everyone, but long ago I decided to be proactive about this issue. There were a couple people in my life who needed to be reminded. I would tell, call, U.S. mail, or email them about 2 months prior, 1 month prior, 2 weeks prior, and with one of them the day before. Eventually they remembered without prompting. If they were irritated by me, they had the grace to not be obvious about it.

Simply formulating a primary and alternate plan will calm me.

Blackhawk (Daniel Lanois) All My Tears (Julie Miller) Tower Song (Townes Van Zandt) Rebel Girl (performed by Hazel Dickens)

Although I have never used the subscribe feature, it looks handy.

:iagree: A bitter truth I've learned is that poverty is a complex interrelated problem that education and mentoring will not necessarily solve and that chaotic lifestyles may be hardwired into brains of some folks despite their failed efforts at overcoming the chaos. After reviewing multigenerational poverty in my community and those who do manage to overcome it through intelligence and/or hard work, I have no pat answers and luck plays a bigger role than I had previously suspected. Life is not black and white; we seldom know the whole story. Developing the ability to see a situation from another person's perspective goes a long way in smoothing out disagreements.

:iagree: Teach household skills to both genders as well as help to provide them with functional college degree or vocational training that will lead to a job with a living wage.

Would you point out to a friend if you thought their child has Aspergers ? No.

If anyone in your household has asthma or respiratory allergies, a parrot is not a good fit. Cats can freak them out. They are messy and live a long time. Estimate their life span to determine whether you will outlive them.

:iagree: In my areas, bunchers have stolen dogs from fenced in backyards. Also, resellers are keen on stealing the small toy breeds that are so popular these days.

Gestational period is measured beginning with the first day of the last menstrual period which is fairly accurate if a woman has regular menstrual periods. It is not measured from date of conception. Thus, he is using the earlier of the timeframe you mentioned, which makes sense. Hope everything works out for you and that you can relax.

Has the hive ever actually flamed someone in response to a pregnancy announcement? I have been here a few years and lurked prior to that, but have never noted a negative response to a pregnancy announcement post.

Is your sister suffering from depression or another mental illness? Depression can be immobilizing. Has the family encouraged her to seek mental health care? If not, perhaps you could scout out available community resources for her.

You stated that your friend was underemployed and that this gentleman was financially comfortable. From financial viewpoint only, what is she expecting in regards to financial comfort? Sharing household expenses certainly will reduce her financial strain. However, if she is seeking lifelong financial security, is she expecting anything more than his social security benefits? Will he expect her to sign a pre-nup? What does will and/or living trust state will happen to his assets upon his death? Is he willing to set up a marital trust provision in his will or living trust for her financial security? Further, a chronic illness and end of life uninsured or unreimbursed medical expenses can quickly use up assets a person has saved for a lifetime. It is hard to give advice in a vacuum since "financially comfortable" is a hugely relative term that provides little information about value of assets or expectations of lifestyle.

I have same situation: my given name is a shortened version of a more formal name. My mother named me what she expected to call me. Honestly I probably do not experience the problem with as much frequency as you do because my name is not quite as common. However, I can honestly say that it does not bother me. I correct the mistake immediately and put it to rest. After all, if someone uses the full formal name version upon meeting, they probably think they are being polite by not using the familiar shortened version before they truly get to know you.

:iagree: I see that Spycar already has covered the issues I posed and more.

Technically I find it to be nice-sounding name. However, I do associate "Zion" with religious extremism. For example, I would be reluctant to give a child that name in my part of country because there is a quasi-religious fundamentalist extremist separatist group that may ultimately be labeled a hate group by those in the know.

I hope you never lose your Christian faith if it is all that is standing between you and decimating tacky decor. :001_smile: I was beginning to wonder if you were the mysterious neighbor who butchered my flashing red nosed Rudolph last year.

Scarlett, I must have missed this. I hope you get answers soon to your husband's medical condition. Could you see a university specialist?