older moms... have you had a baby at or after age 42?

[BonAmy]

We're just thinking about it.. it would be baby #6. I just turned 42. My dr. gave me the a-ok, but I'd love to hear some success stories from moms who gave birth at age 42 or older. thanks!

BonAmy:)

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, it isn't my success story but my grandmother had 12 children with #12 at age 47! And this was in deep woods Alabama without all the "advanced maternal age" care that we have now. :D

[HRAAB]

I had twins at 40. My mil had her last at 44. If I was healthy and dh and I both wanted another baby, I would do it. For me, my last pregnancy wore me down. Of course, that probably had more to do with it being twins.

 

Janet

[bkpan]

Had a baby on my 40th birthday, and then another when I was 43yo. My last pregnancy was hard on me. It was my 6th dc, so I did also have 5 other dc to care for. But, it was the first pregnancy that I had some high bp, as well as some other mild complications. I was sure that this would be our last, and I had not felt that way with the others. Both dh and I agreed that it wasnt till early 40s that we could actually tell that we werent as able to physically handle all the work as easily.

 

That said, the older dc are a big help with my now toddler. I KNOW that I would not be able to keep up with him if it wasnt for all the other dc playing with him and keeping him busy, lol.

 

HTH!

 

Kim

[Quiver0f10]

I am 40, just had a M/C and hoping to be pregnant again soon. I say go for it! :D

[Sandy in Indy]

I was two weeks shy of 43 with my last. (He came EARLY or I would have been 43.) I won't say it's as easy as when you're younger, but it certainly is doable. My little guy lights up our entire family...not an experience to be missed.

[AuntieM]

A month shy of 42 when little bit came along. The pregnancy was tougher due to many circumstances that had nothing to do with the pregnancy - a vicious hurricane season, a cross-country household move - but also because of my condition after past pregnancies (twins, c-section with a vertical incision in my uterus). Also, I developed gestational diabetes for the first time.

 

Generally, I felt that others around me - especially the older women in my family - were just holding their breath, waiting for the news to come that I had delivered a severely disabled child. It took a little joy out of things, and I spent many days just wanting the baby to come! I would say to be sure you have a good relationship with your caregiver. It was difficult for me to find a doc that would take me on (many docs in that state would not accept new maternity patients over age 35!).

 

Our come-lately daughter is the delight of our household! I have to be careful to stay as straight with her as I have been with the others, it would be easy to spoil our baby! Only you can decide if you want to do the baby thing all over. Honestly, there are many ways in which our schedule has to accommodate a little one, when it would have been a lot more free and easy with three tweens/teens. Now we'll have 3 teens and a kindergartner. But I'd do it all again for the pleasure of our Miss B. She is a blessing straight from heaven.

[Alphabetika]

I will have our #3 this August, when I'll be 41.5. I have a friend who had a baby at 43, and another who had one at 45, and all was well. Blessings on you!

[Lucy in Australia]

I'm expecting #3 in October and I'm 42. I should say straight away that this was a "surprise" pregnancy; I'm not sure I would have been brave enough to actually choose to do this. Having said that, I feel better this time than with my other 2 (who are now 10 & 13). I don't know why this is, but I suspect a big part of it is that my boys are big enough to physically help with housework, carrying heavy bags, etc... They are also mature enough to understand that sometimes I just get very tired and need to lie down for a few minutes. This has made a big difference, and I think I will appreciate them even more when the baby gets here.

 

I also absolutely agree with AuntieM : make sure you have a good relationship with your caregiver. I was fortunate enough to get the same OB who delivered my boys. He is a Christian, and therefore in sync with our beliefs. He totally got why I didn't want to do all the testing and it was a great relief not to be badgered about it.

[Aggie]

I was two weeks shy of 43 with my last. (He came EARLY or I would have been 43.) I won't say it's as easy as when you're younger, but it certainly is doable. My little guy lights up our entire family...not an experience to be missed.

 

Ditto here. (Except I was a young 42 when ds was born.:lol:) I think pregnancy is just harder on the more mature woman, plus everything else one has going on at that time in her life.

 

And we've both been asked if we're the g-parents.:glare:

 

But, oh, the joy this child brings!

[FrogMom5]

I had my dd at age 43. My pregnancies have all been very difficult, both physically and emotionally. We've had many miscarriages and two stillbirths. The 2 that resulted in live births were both c-sections and the last one was monitored weekly.

 

Would I now have another one at age 45? Yes. If God chooses to give us another baby, we'll gladly take him or her. Somehow, that sweet baby and those smiling older children help you recover from, well, everything.

[Teresa in MO]

I had #10 at age 43. He just turned 6 years old. I say go for it!!!

[AnnetteB]

Our 9th was born just a couple weeks after my 43rd birthday and he is a joy :) We would have welcomed more, but haven't experienced another conception since (Elijah is 5 1/2 now). I'd say, "Go for it."

[mom4him]

My mom was 42 when I was born. Some would question how successful it all turned out! LOL

I am sure this doesn't count but I was 53 when we adopted our two youngest. They were 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. Not really the same thing I know but I would do it over in a heart beat.

[mom4him]

And we've both been asked if we're the g-parents.:glare:

 

But, oh, the joy this child brings!

 

I get this a lot along with a shocked look when I smile and tell them, "No, I am their mom." I want to add, "Oh, come on, I don't look that bad!"

[FloridaLisa]

We had a healthy #7 when I was 42. And I cannot tell you how many asked if she was my *first* when I was out with only her as a newborn! I've had 2 miscarriages since, so she may well be our last little.

 

Lisa

[Mom2boys]

Thanks to the original poster for this thread! I would love to have one more child, but my hubby thinks we are too old (I turned 40 in January). And my mother and mother-in-law are both OB nurses and anti pregnancy after 35. Maybe I should show them all this thread. :D

[3littlekeets]

For me, the elephant in the room when we talk about older women giving birth, is often having a child with a disability. Statistically, the odds increase as you get older.

 

That said, I had my daughter (now 7) when I was 31. She was born with designer genes -- aka Trisomy 21 or Down syndrome. I wouldn't trade her or her extra chromosome for anything.

 

In fact, now that I'm pushing 40, I would consider another child in a heartbeat --- if I could be guaranteed the child would have T21 :lol:. So, once my youngest (6) is a bit older, we'll just get on the adoption list for a child with special needs. Having a child with a disability has brought more joy, love, and balance to my life than I ever thought imaginable. And, she's a smart cookie with a sassy mouth!

 

That said, it is something you'd need just to contemplate~~~ and decide how that might affect your plans:grouphug:.

[Laurie4b]

#4 was born two days before I turned 42. No problems at all. Sis-in-law had #9 at age 45. No probs there, either. Woman in our church had #4 at age 45. No problems.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I was 42 when we had our little Sunshine Girl. She's practically perfect in every way! It's a good thing, because I don't have the energy or the patience I had when I was younger. It's better in many ways, though, because dh is home more these days, so they have a special bond that didn't happen with the older two. Sometimes, we just watch her and wonder, "How did we do that?" I can't believe she'll soon be 4yo! The older kids are a huge help, so it's a lot easier than when I had two babies, and a dh who was gone all the time.

 

I have no desire to do it again, though. The delivery was just out of control. She came REALLY fast. It wasn't fun. Not that the other two were "fun", but I definitely felt more in control with them than I did with this one. I don't know if it was my age, or what, but it was really a rough delivery. She was perfect, though. And, she's a sweety.

[3littlekeets]

I mean this with love and hope that it will be taken as intended ---

 

My daughter who has Down syndrome is "perfect," in my eyes; much more so than my 6 year old spirited foul mouthed kiddo:D.

 

She is also "healthy." She has no health issues at all -- not heart, thyroid, etc.

 

I say this only to educate. Often when I hear "no problems," I know people mean "no disability." Our society teaches us to say we want "happy, healthy children," but that really means "free from any abnormalities at all." And, truthfully, I KNOW I thought and felt that way before my baby girl :-), so I'm not criticizing anyone: just trying to show you another side to comments.

[linders]

I may kill that almost 6-year-old any day! (Just joking. I think.) I was

42-1/2 when this DS was born. He has by far more energy, mischieviousness, curiosity, and stubborness than his older brother. Hence, he wears. me. out. I'm not sure it would have been better when I was 25. But maybe.

 

But he is awfully cuddly and cute. Go for it.

[lynn]

I'll be 42 Saturday and we are coming up on the 5 year mark next year and for the first time I do not feel like I want to have another baby around. My dd has worn us both out:lol:, she sealed the deal of us not wanting another baby, I think.

 

Another thing that I have experienced being an older mom of preschooler to teens, I don't always know where I fit in. Friends I had when my boys were little are now back to work or school full time and I do not get to visit with them. The younger crowd, I just do not have anything in common except the age of our preschool children. I do attend mop's so my dd has a day to be with kids her age but I feel like I do not belong there amongst all those youngsters....lol I met a girl who attended the same college I did 10years later, talk about feeling old...... I am finding my way and figuring out where I do fit in and belong it's just been a very interesting journey.

Edited April 7, 2009 by lynn

[Tenaj]

I'm 44 and pregnant (19 weeks) with #8, had #7 at age 42 and #6 at age 40. Everything is going fine so far though I will admit I'm more tired with this pregnancy than I have been with some others - then again - that may be because of dc#7 who is a pistol at 15 months and keeping us all busy. He's at that age where you just collaspe with a sigh of relief on the couch when he goes down for his afternoon nap. :)

 

I agree with those that said the caregiver is so important. My current OB delievered #7 and I don't know her very well but when I went in for the first appointment and she asked how I was doing, my answer was, "I'm getting too old for this (I was in the midst of severe morning sickness)". She laughed and laughed and said, "I guess God didn't think so." I knew I was in the right place after having an odd experience with the receptionist when I called for the first appointment.

[TraceyS/FL]

I think if you are both on the same page - then go for it!

 

I can honestly say that at this moment, i have zero desire to have another child. I think it has something to do with having had a child at 30 and 35 - i'm so NOT doing 40. LOL!! ( i always swore i'd be done having kids before i was 30 based on seeing my parents and where they were in life because they had my brother at 30).

 

That said, if someone had a plan that included me having another child - i'd welcome it lovingly. But really, at this point, i'd be happy to just borrow other peoples :D

[AnnetteB]

Thanks to the original poster for this thread! I would love to have one more child, but my hubby thinks we are too old (I turned 40 in January). And my mother and mother-in-law are both OB nurses and anti pregnancy after 35. Maybe I should show them all this thread. :D

 

"Anti-30's" was a common attitude a few years ago. We had our first 4 kiddies in our 20's and dh went running in for a vasectomy:glare: Then in March 1993 I met with four homeschooling families at our local park for a playday. We had arranged the gathering with a family we met at the library. It turned out to be "a God thing" in our lives. I was still holding out hopes for a reversal and dh insisting that we were "too old" (33). Three of the new acquaintances were expecting and all three of them were older than me! Two months later dh had the reversal and we have been blessed with 5 more dc (and five early miscarriages).

[Guest Chestnutmair]

I have two sons ages 22 and 23 years old from a previous marriage. I am married now to the love of my life! We grew up together as children, we dated and we were engaged at 18 and 19 years old. He then joined the Marine Corps and we lost touch. We met up again 24 years later. We had our first child together when I was 45. Her name is Gianna which means "Gift from God" in Italian. And she sure is! She is perfectly healthy with no problems whatsoever! I am Going to be 47 in December and just found out this morning that I am pregnant. I know I only have a 50% chance of miscarriage but I am praying I can hold onto this baby! I hate for Gianna to grow up alone. My husband and I are one of seven in our families. So I am off to worry for the next 9 months! But I know God will take care of us no matter what!

[Starr]

This thread is 3 years old. :D

[Cassy]

I was 43 when I had DS5. Apart from the horrible morning sickness at the beginning, which I had with all of them, it was a very easy pregnancy, beautiful (and quick) home birth (hypnobirthing), and he has been the easiest of all of them, and cute too:

 

 

 

In fact I'd love another, but I'm now way too old.

[KatA]

I was 43 when I had DS5. Apart from the horrible morning sickness at the beginning, which I had with all of them, it was a very easy pregnancy, beautiful (and quick) home birth (hypnobirthing), and he has been the easiest of all of them, and cute too:

 

[ATTACH]10123[/ATTACH]

 

In fact I'd love another, but I'm now way too old.

 

What a cutie! He has the same hair color as my son (except his is thin and stick straight). I have no idea where it comes from...

[Singingmom]

I had my boys at 38, 40 and 42 . My last boy, born when I was 42 seems to be the healthiest, most robust of all the boys! This past pregnancy was the hardest on me of the three, but much of that was that he weighed 10.6 at birth...so it was a little like carrying twins ( and I did not have gestational diabetes...I just ate a lot of corn flakes ;)) Would I have another now at 44? No! But, that is because I have spent the majority of my almost 7 year marriage either pregnant or breastfeeding. I don't want to do another 2 years of that! But, we have talked about adopting a little girl. We will see if God opens doors as we pray and pursue the idea in the next year.:001_smile:

[BakersDozen]

I know this thread is 3 years old but you know what? I'm struggling hugely with my age (40 next year...GAH!) and hearing my biological clock ticking loudly, struggling with knowing I am in the "Hail Mary" years of fertility, and this thread has reassured me that there is a chance for another baby/babies. I'd love to post here someday that yes, I had a baby/babies after the age of 40, 42, even 44! I'm obviously not ready to move out of this stage of life just yet... ;)

[Tarreymere]

I had my youngest (also #6) at 42. He is 5 now and I'm 47. I was more tired with him, I think, but I also had high blood pressure going into the pregnancy and I was overweight and inactive and a bit stressed over family stuff.

 

Overall things went well, but I did have some problems with my blood sugar toward the end of the pregnancy and ended up induced because they felt his head was getting too big. It was, and he ended up being a c-section with a head that was a little over fifteen inches in circumference (he never fit into the pelvis) and weighed in at a whopping ten pounds at 37 weeks. Everything was fine afterward, the recovery was uneventful.

 

I'd do it again in a minute.

[mamakim]

I was 45 when I had #8. The pregnancy/delivery was no harder than any of the others. Well, except the pushing part . . . he had a military acynclitic posterior positioning :tongue_smilie:. You don't want to do that :D.

 

I tell ya, one thing about being this age is that dh and I are so grateful every day to be in our 50s and parenting a just-turned-6-year-old. He has a health disorder that has him still waking like a newborn and needing night-time parenting, but the age brings both patience and the perspective that we'll blink and he'll be graduating. Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

 

 

ETA: Uhmm, oops, didn't notice this was an old thread! Well, at least I didn't post in the same thread twice :-)

Edited August 28, 2012 by mamakim
didn't see it was an old thread

[jessicalb]

I know this thread is 3 years old but you know what? I'm struggling hugely with my age (40 next year...GAH!) and hearing my biological clock ticking loudly, struggling with knowing I am in the "Hail Mary" years of fertility, and this thread has reassured me that there is a chance for another baby/babies. I'd love to post here someday that yes, I had a baby/babies after the age of 40, 42, even 44! I'm obviously not ready to move out of this stage of life just yet... ;)

 

I feel exactly the same way! I am really hoping to start (again) at 35 with a teenager. I am so thrilled to hear of so many great experiences. I am very afraid of having trouble ttc, but these stories are giving me a lot of hope. :)

[marbel]

I haven't read any other responses yet, have to get dinner on the table but had to pipe up.

 

I had my first a few months after my 41st birthday, and my 2nd a few months before my 43rd birthday. My mom was just weeks shy of 40 when was born (though I was the last of 3).

 

Success story? I don't know. They are not grown yet. But, so far, so good. The only downside so far is being mistaken for grandma occasionally. I try hard to keep my haircolor fresh. ;)