Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 I think the word is over used……but wow, sometimes it just fits. My DIL called me yesterday really upset at her mother. The back story is a young man my DIL liked (maybe dated briefly) before she began dating my son….well, this man lost his wife a few days ago. They had only been married a year and a half. DIL’s mother spent about 3 days trying to convince my DIL to ‘go for it’…..as in try to get with this young man. Obviously the mom does not like my son…..but this is just beyond my comprehension. Apparently DIL told her mom she never wants to hear another word about other men or leaving my son and if she can’t respect this marriage then stop calling and stay away. I just cant. 😵💫 5 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 Wow. Just wow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 18 minutes ago, scholastica said: Wow. Just wow. That about sums it up. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ting Tang Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 No disrespect, but is her mother an alcoholic? Have mental illness? Obviously, she chose your son to marry. If she had married the other guy, I bet her mother would’ve disliked him, too. Sorry you had to be privy to any of this! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 2 minutes ago, Ting Tang said: No disrespect, but is her mother an alcoholic? Have mental illness? Obviously, she chose your son to marry. If she had married the other guy, I bet her mother would’ve disliked him, too. Sorry you had to be privy to any of this! Honestly being mentally ill or an alcoholic would be better than the alternative…. I do think she has something going on with her mind. Extremely unstable. She apparently has been trying to break them up from early on. My son won’t let her run over them and she does not like it at all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 good for your DIL standing up to her mom like that. I had to do similar, but things are better now since then. We do still chuckle & shake our heads when she posts these moving tributes to her amazing SIL on Father's Day and such, as if the past never happened, but otherwise that part of our relationship is much better. I hope your DIL's mom is able to change course as well. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 15 minutes ago, TheReader said: good for your DIL standing up to her mom like that. I had to do similar, but things are better now since then. We do still chuckle & shake our heads when she posts these moving tributes to her amazing SIL on Father's Day and such, as if the past never happened, but otherwise that part of our relationship is much better. I hope your DIL's mom is able to change course as well. She posts stuff like that NOW. While constantly trying to set her daughter up with other men. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 1 minute ago, Scarlett said: She posts stuff like that NOW. While constantly trying to set her daughter up with other men. Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 That is so crazy. Poor DIL and Ds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ting Tang Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Scarlett said: Honestly being mentally ill or an alcoholic would be better than the alternative…. I do think she has something going on with her mind. Extremely unstable. She apparently has been trying to break them up from early on. My son won’t let her run over them and she does not like it at all. I really feel for your son and of course, your DIL. I wouldn't be shocked if you uncover something more about your son's MIL. I have a mother like this, and I haven't spoken a word to her since 2011. It's extreme, but I can see no benefit to having any relationship with her. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 I'm glad your daughter-in-law was straightforward with her mom. Can't help wondering if there's mental illness at play. Not only is it nuts to suggest "go for it" to a married woman, but what a reaction to a very recent and tragic death. To be politically incorrect ... it's crazy. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knitgrl Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 How wonderful that your DIL has a good relationship with you and feels safe coming to you when she's upset. Obviously, the rest of the story stinks, but this aspect of it is beautiful. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 Wow, just wow. Sounds like your DIL has good boundaries with her mom and trusts you. That is the positive here. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 10 minutes ago, Ting Tang said: I really feel for your son and of course, your DIL. I wouldn't be shocked if you uncover something more about your son's MIL. I have a mother like this, and I haven't spoken a word to her since 2011. It's extreme, but I can see no benefit to having any relationship with her. I already know enough to fill a book. Badgering them to let her move in with them. Begging for money, getting put on their phone plan then never paying her part. (ds as not happy DIL out her on their plan), asking for my DIL’s pain meds…. The list goes on. Because my son helps DIL stand up to her mom, he is vilified. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said: Wow, just wow. Sounds like your DIL has good boundaries with her mom and trusts you. That is the positive here. She has learned a lot about standing up to her mom thanks to my son. It isn’t easy for her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 2 hours ago, SKL said: I'm glad your daughter-in-law was straightforward with her mom. Can't help wondering if there's mental illness at play. Not only is it nuts to suggest "go for it" to a married woman, but what a reaction to a very recent and tragic death. To be politically incorrect ... it's crazy. I know. That part is super weird. DIL told her mom, ‘let him grieve, his wife just died!’. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 4 hours ago, Scarlett said: I think the word is over used……but wow, sometimes it just fits. My DIL called me yesterday really upset at her mother. The back story is a young man my DIL liked (maybe dated briefly) before she began dating my son….well, this man lost his wife a few days ago. They had only been married a year and a half. DIL’s mother spent about 3 days trying to convince my DIL to ‘go for it’…..as in try to get with this young man. Obviously the mom does not like my son…..but this is just beyond my comprehension. Apparently DIL told her mom she never wants to hear another word about other men or leaving my son and if she can’t respect this marriage then stop calling and stay away. I just cant. 😵💫 This sounds like my own daughters mil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 I'm amazed your DIL told you! That's awesome that you have that great a relationship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 She is a real piece of work! 😜 The biggest red flag for me besides trying to play Cupid for a married woman is asking for her daughter's pain meds. Big red flag. I wonder if she is an addict. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 4 hours ago, Faith-manor said: She is a real piece of work! 😜 The biggest red flag for me besides trying to play Cupid for a married woman is asking for her daughter's pain meds. Big red flag. I wonder if she is an addict. My thoughts exactly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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