So I did an ornery thing…

[saraha]

Sil texted me just now and said “dh is not answering his phone, is he available?” He was not in fact available, we had just got home from a dinner date and he was in the bathroom. So I texted back We are on a date. Then felt bad so followed up with he can call you back in a little bit unless you need something right away. 
She answered Sorry to bother you, have fun

But, dh heard her text noise on my phone and was not exact thrilled with my response. But it was true though! He wasn’t available, he was in the bathroom! 😆😆😆

[YaelAldrich]

If you were really being snarky, you would have left it at y'all were on a date (nanny nanny boo boo! Pbbbbllllttt!)

Letting her think your DH would get back to her maybe wasn't the best because maybe he doesn't want to play her games tonight. 

Or maybe I don't know anything and I should butt out! 

[katilac]

It's fine, don't overthink it. I don't even know what your dh could think is wrong with that response! 

[Jaybee]

Maybe he would have preferred that you just tell her he was in the bathroom?

[saraha]

He couldn’t stand the curiosity and called her. She had a question about and end of the year excel thing, which he had fixed for her last year and just had to remind her!😆
 

It was the mad rush I got that she had texted me and for one little moment I held all the power muuhahahaha 😆

Edited January 15, 2023 by saraha

[saraha]

Really, I just didn’t want her nonsense to spoil our evening. Turns out it wasn’t anything at all

[Grace Hopper]

2 hours ago, saraha said:

He couldn’t stand the curiosity and called her. She had a question about and end of the year excel thing, which he had fixed for her last year and just had to remind her!😆
 

It was the mad rush I got that she had texted me and for one little moment I held all the power muuhahahaha 😆

TBH, your true power would have been to not reply at all, put dh’s phone on silent, and continue with your evening without him replying either. At least that’s what I’d have done. 
 

But he called her back, on what she now knows to have been a date night. So it’s debatable where the “power” resides. 
 

Glad you got a chuckle, though. 

[Robin M]

I don't think you were being snarky. It was your time and didn't need it interrupted.  

My husband carries his phone at all times so would have answered the phone whether he was in the bathroom or not.  *facepalm*

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Robin M said:

I don't think you were being snarky. It was your time and didn't need it interrupted.  

My husband carries his phone at all times so would have answered the phone whether he was in the bathroom or not.  *facepalm*

So would mine. I always cringe when I hear him job-talking on the phone from the throne. 

[saraha]

Yeah, dh at least will not answer the phone in the bathroom, but he does always have his phone on him, always, so no way I could sneak and turn it off. But for one shining moment…😆

[Halftime Hope]

8 hours ago, Quill said:

So would mine. I always cringe when I hear him job-talking on the phone from the throne. 

Our house belonged to a mid-level exec for a large local corporation. There was a phone jack in the "toilet room" attached to the master bath room, clearly part of the original build, obviously a custom feature. 😄  Our house was built in 1999, so I'm not sure why. People had cell phones. 

[KungFuPanda]

54 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

Our house belonged to a mid-level exec for a large local corporation. There was a phone jack in the "toilet room" attached to the master bath room, clearly part of the original build, obviously a custom feature. 😄  Our house was built in 1999, so I'm not sure why. People had cell phones. 

They weren’t as clear then. For a while there it was obvious if you were talking in a cell phone. 

[saraha]

1 hour ago, Halftime Hope said:

Our house belonged to a mid-level exec for a large local corporation. There was a phone jack in the "toilet room" attached to the master bath room, clearly part of the original build, obviously a custom feature. 😄  Our house was built in 1999, so I'm not sure why. People had cell phones. 

Are they not afraid people can hear what you are doing?!? I hear women talking in the stalls all the time at Walmart (seems to be the only place haha) flushing etc going on all over the place. I would die of embarrassment 

Besides, how long are they in there?!? I guess where we’ve always had 8 people and 1 bathroom, there is not a family culture of camping out in there

Edited January 16, 2023 by saraha

[Halftime Hope]

1 hour ago, KungFuPanda said:

They weren’t as clear then. For a while there it was obvious if you were talking in a cell phone. 

To me, it's usually pretty echo-ey when people are in the bathroom. Mebbe he had, ehrm, unique needs.

[MagistraKennedy]

On 1/14/2023 at 9:47 PM, saraha said:

Sil texted me just now and said “dh is not answering his phone, is he available?” He was not in fact available, we had just got home from a dinner date and he was in the bathroom. So I texted back We are on a date. Then felt bad so followed up with he can call you back in a little bit unless you need something right away. 
She answered Sorry to bother you, have fun

But, dh heard her text noise on my phone and was not exact thrilled with my response. But it was true though! He wasn’t available, he was in the bathroom! 😆😆😆

Argh. My SIL has started doing the same sort of thing to me --- texting me when she can't reach my husband. I don't think your response was ornery at all. I just ignore my SIL. 

😆 

[Indigo Blue]

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

[Scarlett]

52 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

My Dh is very bad to not answer his phone or texts.  It is very aggravating. So I do get a fair share of calls and text from people asking if he will call them.  I am honestly more aggravated at him than people trying to track him down.but he wont usually answer me either. If he is working I will email him if it is urgent because that will pop up in front his face.  

Edited January 22, 2023 by Scarlett

[Faith-manor]

2 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

My husband does not like texting. His brother, who is self employed on a flexible schedule, likes to text or call Mark when he is in the middle of meetings. His work day is set. His brother knows this, but can't seem to make a mental note of it. So he then went to texting me to see if I would go get Mark to answer his phone. Nope. Hard no. I ignore. Mark will eventually call him back on his own time at the end of the work day. He isn't going to text, and he is most definitely not going to interrupt work to call because brother sent him a photo of used sailboat. Good grief. I get along really well with him, but this is a bridge too far. Do not try to weasel other people into facilitating communication. The only time this should happen is a legitimate, family emergency.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Faith-manor

[kbutton]

58 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

Depends on why they aren’t answering. I just end up not really talking to one family member because of it, but he brings it on himself—he deep sixes his phone pretty much all the time and expects people to contact his wife. I want to talk to him, not her. It’s like when he got married, suddenly everything has to be routed through her and people can no longer have a relationship with him (while this particular problem is all him, she is controlling in other ways). It’s bizarre. I’ve had almost no solo conversations with him in the 21 years he’s been married. 

[Harriet Vane]

4 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

It's reasonable, yes. The exceptions are those special individuals who are oblivious to their phones and simply never respond. Never. Out of sheer, happy cluelessness. Wafting through life without worrying about it. Not even aware of the frantic buzzing of the device in the pocket. Shocked and surprised to find twenty messages three days later. 

(I may or may not be dealing with this exact dynamic with someone I love...😉)

[MagistraKennedy]

6 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Am I the only one who feels it’s quite annoying when one person doesn’t/can’t answer their phone, which causes the other person to call or text someone else to find out why they can’t get the first person on the phone?

That should happen for emergencies, IMO. Otherwise, leave a message or call a bit later. Isn’t this reasonable?

I agree completely. I think we all have the right to mental space and time without being expected to answer the phone/text 🤷‍♀️
But I'm crotchety and remember when you didn't call at dinner time or after 9pm unless it was an emergency. 

[Indigo Blue]

One person in my life will immediately call my husband at work if I don’t answer after one call. They will say where is she? She won’t answer her phone! 
 

And we have people calling at all hours for dh. A lot of it isn’t emergencies. It’s early morning, late at night, Sunday, supper hours, etc. I, too, remember when people were more sensitive to the timing of their calls. It’s not that way now. If Dh doesn’t answer his phone, they might even be pulling into our driveway unannounced ten minutes later! I’ve posted about that before, lol. 
 

It’s just so normal for him and has been a part of his life for so long. We were watching a movie yesterday. Saturday. His phone rang twice, ten minutes apart. He has such a shrill ring tone. I said, you know, it’s the weekend. Your mom has passed on. There really isn’t a reason you couldn’t just turn your phone off while we watch this. He actually turned it off! We watched the rest of the movie with no phones ringing! Hopefully we can start doing this more often.