Mom needs a sabbatical. Recommendations?

[Quarter Note]

I have never been a “just get it done” homeschool mom. My specialty has always been to make interdisciplinary connections. I love teaching outside the box. This is my eighth year of homeschooling. It is serious fun for me. 

But I really need a break. My 5^th grade kid is angry all the time and mostly directs it at me, and it drains the energy out of me. My skin isn't thick enough for this kid. For the other kid, I'm getting tired of trying to get 7^th grade work out of my 7^thgrader who seems to be in a middle school bad-attitude zone.

If we were planning for the start of a school year, I would just sign the 7^th grader up for a whole bunch of online classes and let someone else enforce deadlines for a while. We're also right in the middle of several subjects that I'd like to see through to the end, though it may be worth it to drop a few things in the middle. 

History is one subject we could do differently right away, because we're between projects right now, so I've been looking at the MP classical series (Famous Men of Greece, etc.). I have always avoided the “read and fill out a workbook” style, but it may be just what my kids and I need right now. It would take me away from a lot of teacher-type decisions, and the kids would have to answer to the workbook rather than argue with me. Maybe workbook-type learning is okay for one semester.

Any thoughts? 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Quarter Note
don't want to sound too negative

[lmrich]

Big hugs! 

Take the break and just read good books, put together some puzzles, do some weird science experiments, watch some fantastic documentaries or not. 

Then if you still feel like it, workbooks and get it done style isn't awful. 

I highly recommend that you take care of yourself!

[BlsdMama]

2 hours ago, Quarter Note said:

I have never been a “just get it done” homeschool mom. My specialty has always been to make interdisciplinary connections. I love teaching outside the box. This is my eighth year of homeschooling. It is serious fun for me. 

But I really need a break. My 5^th grade kid is angry all the time and mostly directs it at me, and it drains the energy out of me. My skin isn't thick enough for this kid. For the other kid, I'm getting tired of trying to get 7^th grade work out of my 7^thgrader who seems to be in a middle school bad-attitude zone.

If we were planning for the start of a school year, I would just sign the 7^th grader up for a whole bunch of online classes and let someone else enforce deadlines for a while. We're also right in the middle of several subjects that I'd like to see through to the end, though it may be worth it to drop a few things in the middle. 

History is one subject we could do differently right away, because we're between projects right now, so I've been looking at the MP classical series (Famous Men of Greece, etc.). I have always avoided the “read and fill out a workbook” style, but it may be just what my kids and I need right now. It would take me away from a lot of teacher-type decisions, and the kids would have to answer to the workbook rather than argue with me. Maybe workbook-type learning is okay for one semester.

Any thoughts? 

I gave myself permission to use texts for the basics and use my creativity and talents for the “icing .”  It is, for me, very relaxing to know we were solidly hitting the necessities and forward movement didn’t wholly depend on me. 
 

An honest question to NOT answer but ask yourself - is it possible these kids would feel happier, more motivated, if they were more autonomous and not waiting on mom to direct their day? You move into the role of accountability and encourager rather than the driver?

[Quarter Note]

22 hours ago, lmrich said:

Big hugs! 

Take the break and just read good books, put together some puzzles, do some weird science experiments, watch some fantastic documentaries or not. 

Then if you still feel like it, workbooks and get it done style isn't awful. 

I highly recommend that you take care of yourself!

Thank you, lmrich!  We may just do some of the fun stuff for a while.  And I'm trying to remind myself that workbooks could just be for a season. 

[Quarter Note]

20 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I gave myself permission to use texts for the basics and use my creativity and talents for the “icing .”  It is, for me, very relaxing to know we were solidly hitting the necessities and forward movement didn’t wholly depend on me. 
 

An honest question to NOT answer but ask yourself - is it possible these kids would feel happier, more motivated, if they were more autonomous and not waiting on mom to direct their day? You move into the role of accountability and encourager rather than the driver?

Hi BlsdMama.  I'm sorry I didn't make this clear - the goal of getting the kids more motivated and autonomous is the whole point of me trying a more workbook-style school.  I wonder if it would make a difference to my kids if all I had to say would be, "Here.  Someone else who is not me has decided on your workload for the day.  Take your books and do them somewhere and just check in with me when you're done."  In no way am I a drill sergeant, "my-lesson-plans-or-the-highway" type of teacher.  But it really makes me sad to be yelled at when I put my heart into my work.

 

[Quarter Note]

In thinking about this overnight, I realized that no one really wants a change in our school.  Besides trying to get written output and focused attention from my seventh grader, academics are going well.  The kids don't want to switch things up.  (I've been talking to them about this for over a month now).

What I want is a break from them, not from teaching.  The constant bickering has worn me to a frazzle, but that can happen any time of day.  Given that there's no way to get a vacation from them right now, it seemed like teaching should be the first thing to go.  But I realize that that won't solve the real problem - that I need some peace and quiet!

So we'll figure something else out!

Edited December 20, 2021 by Quarter Note

[Lilaclady]

Can you just take a month break and give yourselves permission to just be. Take out crafts or hobbies the kid like, play audio books, do science experiments or arts project for the whole of January. They are in 5th and 7th they still have time. 

[Quarter Note]

1 hour ago, Lilaclady said:

Can you just take a month break and give yourselves permission to just be. Take out crafts or hobbies the kid like, play audio books, do science experiments or arts project for the whole of January. They are in 5th and 7th they still have time. 

Hi Lilaclady.  You have great suggestions, but the more I realize it, the problem isn't how we spend our time together.  I just need some peace and quiet away from the kids.  Crafts or experiments or projects would be great, but I would still have to be "on" as Mom.

[Quarter Note]

The more I think about my situation, it's just not an educational problem, and it won't have an educational solution.  Sorry about this, everyone!

[rocassie]

I do feel like this sometimes too.  Between being teacher and mom 24/7, I do need a rejuvenating break both from the teaching and the parent responsibilities as they go hand in hand for me.

If we can afford it, I will get a massage and go visit my BFF (who's out of town)  or do a long weekend retreat away.  This usually requires DH to take day(s) off work, but we have and agreement that 3 of his work vacation days were "mine" to have a "me vacation."   

If I can't swing several days, either do to time or money, I still try and take a "me" day.  I usually do things that I enjoy like a hike, meet a friend for coffee or lunch, go to the library, visit the art museum, take a fun class, walk around and window shop in a cute downtown, read a book in the park, etc.  Occasionally DH will take the kids for a weekend visit with his family while I stay home to a quiet and empty house. 

[Frances]

32 minutes ago, rocassie said:

I do feel like this sometimes too.  Between being teacher and mom 24/7, I do need a rejuvenating break both from the teaching and the parent responsibilities as they go hand in hand for me.

If we can afford it, I will get a massage and go visit my BFF (who's out of town)  or do a long weekend retreat away.  This usually requires DH to take day(s) off work, but we have and agreement that 3 of his work vacation days were "mine" to have a "me vacation."   

If I can't swing several days, either do to time or money, I still try and take a "me" day.  I usually do things that I enjoy like a hike, meet a friend for coffee or lunch, go to the library, visit the art museum, take a fun class, walk around and window shop in a cute downtown, read a book in the park, etc.  Occasionally DH will take the kids for a weekend visit with his family while I stay home to a quiet and empty house. 

I agree with all of this. In addition to doing things on my own or with friends, my husband always took our son away for vacation for Spring Break. Starting at age 8, he also flew by himself to spend time with our families in the Midwest for several weeks each summer. I’m sure the pandemic is making all of this harder, but I think breaks for homeschooling moms are critical for everyone’s sanity.

[caffeineandbooks]

What about a "micro break"?  The days when I send each kid to their own room for an hour after lunch I notice an immediate feeling of relief in myself.  If they're separate, they can't argue and the noise level goes way down.  I have been known to set the oven timer for an hour and leave instructions that when it goes off, they should get a snack and put on a video but that they should not come and see me before it finishes unless there is blood or smoke 🙂  Feeling like I have been away from them, even just for an hour or two, gives me what I need to come back and fully engage again.  Otherwise I find myself existing in the same space, but not wanting to connect, just kind of phoning it in.

[lmrich]

49 minutes ago, caffeineandbooks said:

What about a "micro break"?  The days when I send each kid to their own room for an hour after lunch I notice an immediate feeling of relief in myself.  If they're separate, they can't argue and the noise level goes way down.  I have been known to set the oven timer for an hour and leave instructions that when it goes off, they should get a snack and put on a video but that they should not come and see me before it finishes unless there is blood or smoke 🙂  Feeling like I have been away from them, even just for an hour or two, gives me what I need to come back and fully engage again.  Otherwise I find myself existing in the same space, but not wanting to connect, just kind of phoning it in.

Oh YES! This is an excellent idea!! I think this is more important with the 11 - 15 year-olds than it is for the 3 - 6 year-olds. Send them to their rooms with a book and time to be alone.  But also spend that valuable time investing in yourself - yoga, meditation, cleaning, showering, sleeping, reading, watching tv... I think siesta time should be worldwide. 

[Quarter Note]

On 12/19/2021 at 8:20 PM, rocassie said:

I do feel like this sometimes too.  Between being teacher and mom 24/7, I do need a rejuvenating break both from the teaching and the parent responsibilities as they go hand in hand for me.

If we can afford it, I will get a massage and go visit my BFF (who's out of town)  or do a long weekend retreat away.  This usually requires DH to take day(s) off work, but we have and agreement that 3 of his work vacation days were "mine" to have a "me vacation."   

If I can't swing several days, either do to time or money, I still try and take a "me" day.  I usually do things that I enjoy like a hike, meet a friend for coffee or lunch, go to the library, visit the art museum, take a fun class, walk around and window shop in a cute downtown, read a book in the park, etc.  Occasionally DH will take the kids for a weekend visit with his family while I stay home to a quiet and empty house. 

 

On 12/19/2021 at 8:55 PM, Frances said:

I agree with all of this. In addition to doing things on my own or with friends, my husband always took our son away for vacation for Spring Break. Starting at age 8, he also flew by himself to spend time with our families in the Midwest for several weeks each summer. I’m sure the pandemic is making all of this harder, but I think breaks for homeschooling moms are critical for everyone’s sanity.

Rocassie and Frances, thank you for understanding!  I realize that I really can't let out my breath with relief unless my kids are absolutely out of earshot from me.  Your breaks away from your kids sound heavenly.

[Quarter Note]

On 12/20/2021 at 3:34 PM, caffeineandbooks said:

What about a "micro break"?  The days when I send each kid to their own room for an hour after lunch I notice an immediate feeling of relief in myself.  If they're separate, they can't argue and the noise level goes way down.  I have been known to set the oven timer for an hour and leave instructions that when it goes off, they should get a snack and put on a video but that they should not come and see me before it finishes unless there is blood or smoke 🙂  Feeling like I have been away from them, even just for an hour or two, gives me what I need to come back and fully engage again.  Otherwise I find myself existing in the same space, but not wanting to connect, just kind of phoning it in.

Caffeineandbooks, this is a great suggestion that I have tried often with my kids, but it doesn't work.  They will find a way to yell through the walls.  If I try to make them do something that they don't want to do, it doesn't result in peace for me.  😉  But I know your suggestion would be great for others.  

[Quarter Note]

Sorry, everyone.  I realize now that this is not a "General Education Discussion Board" question.  It's just about trying to get Mom a restorative break from the challenges of parenting.

[Garga]

A one-time break or vacation isn’t going to work. You need time each week, or each day, to be alone.

A few years ago, I found out the movie theaters around here charged only $5.00 on Tuesday nights for newly released movies. And I love movies.  So every single Tuesday night I went out to the movies…alone!  (Later some friends started joining me, but no kids.)

Also, I started implementing going out to lunch one-on-one with a friend every few Saturdays.  

And there is the old standby where I hide out in the bathroom “getting ready for bed” for an hour at night.  “Getting ready for bed” means watching netflix on my ipad or reading a book propped up on the counter while I brush my teeth and stand around.  Now, that doesn’t work if someone is on the other side of the door being annoying, but I have sons and once they got to middle school, the last thing they wanted was to be near mom when she was in the bathroom. So, once the bathroom door was shut, they would leave me be. I’d rather have been able to watch tv or read a book on a comfy chair rather than hanging out in the bathroom, but I needed that time by myself at the end of the day, and I took what I could get.

 

But overall, I understand that you can’t relax until you are out of reach from each other. I do the same thing. When my house is empty, something inside of me relaxes that is always tense whenever someone is home. It’s kinda dramatic the sense of relaxation I feel when my house is empty compared to when it isn’t.

So…my solution was a weekly date night with myself…and getting together with a friend over lunch every few Saturdays.  It would be a different friend each time, so we could catch up.  We’d go to Subway or other fast food so we could sit there for hours without a server needing the table.

 

A one-time vacation was never enough for me. I needed to have time alone or with an adult friend, routinely.  I’m not homeschooling anymore, so the need isn’t as great, but I still enjoy getting away and just being “me” and not being on call as “mom” or “wife” from time to time.

 

[Clemsondana]

The past few years have been hard with similar issues - covid added a twist because my husband, who had always traveled 2ish weeks a month for work, was suddenly home for 18 months.  In our very open state the kids had a facsimile of their normal routines, and while the extra help driving kids was great there was also another person to feed whose presence disrupted some of my down time.  I also realized that my kids no longer go to bed early and I was losing several hours each night that had previously been either very productive (grading, meal prep, cleaning) or relaxing (reading, TV) or both (folding laundry while watching TV).  My family seemingly expected me to be instantly available from the moment I got up until I went to bed and I couldn't get anything done and felt like I was losing my mind.  Husband has started traveling some, and I'm also becoming more emphatic about enforcing 'go do something' time, whether it be during the day or that everybody be in their rooms by 9:30 or, if all else fails, I get in the tub with a book.  I am also more intentional with the extracurricular hours, sitting alone in the car reading or grading or going for a walk. These mini-breaks seem to help.

[Dianthus]

Our kids are similar ages. I have ds10 in 4th and dd12 in 7th. Ds10 has some anger issues too, always fighting with siblings and the problem is always "their fault" and "not my fault". It's draining.

I wanted to take off December but just couldn't do. Does your son need more exercise? Could you take the kids to the gym, they could do a workout, play basketball or something while you work out?

We are using a lot of MP this year and dd is doing Famous Men of Greece. It's working ok because they can work independently and I think it's good depth of learning. However, every lesson is the same format (which could be an advantage because they always know what's required) and always has vocab dictionary searches and both my kids hate that part. I generally have to tell them definitions because they balk at it. It is a lot of writing. I gave up on having them answer everything in complete sentences because it is so much and takes too long. If you're just doing a couple subjects, maybe this won't be an issue, but it is very time consuming to grade all the workbooks.  If you really need a semester escape, how about some video classes where you can just be completely hands off?

A real break/vacation with time away sounds amazing. I've never had a night away from my kids, except at the hospital delivering babies. 

[prairiewindmomma]

I very very very highly recommend noise canceling headphones...for mom. I need an auditory break from my kids.

I also highly recommend mom going for a walk and leaving the kids at home. Getting some sunshine and exercise away from the home is helpful.  

I also have a no tolerance policy for bickering. If someone needs to be grumbly, they can do it by themselves in their room. I don't need to hear it.  When my older kids were your kids' ages, I had punishment time in the form of chores.  There are the chores that we all have to do because we are family members, but if someone was being super obnoxious they got to pull weeds, clean baseboards and light fixtures, and do extra things. Those were things that typically came out of my time budget of work when we deep cleaned. 

On a more serious note, keep an eye out on emotional health....for everyone. If you think you've got some low level depression showing up as anger (in any household member), this time of year it's worth using a therapy light, taking some extra vitamin D, and seeking help if it doesn't resolve in a few weeks.

[Quarter Note]

On 12/22/2021 at 10:35 AM, Garga said:

But overall, I understand that you can’t relax until you are out of reach from each other. I do the same thing. When my house is empty, something inside of me relaxes that is always tense whenever someone is home. It’s kinda dramatic the sense of relaxation I feel when my house is empty compared to when it isn’t.

 

@Garga, you understand!  Thank you!

 

On 12/22/2021 at 12:56 PM, Clemsondana said:

These mini-breaks seem to help.

Thank you for your understanding, @Clemsondana!

On 12/23/2021 at 8:40 AM, Spirea said:

 

We are using a lot of MP this year and dd is doing Famous Men of Greece. It's working ok because they can work independently and I think it's good depth of learning. However, every lesson is the same format (which could be an advantage because they always know what's required) and always has vocab dictionary searches and both my kids hate that part. I generally have to tell them definitions because they balk at it. It is a lot of writing. I gave up on having them answer everything in complete sentences because it is so much and takes too long. If you're just doing a couple subjects, maybe this won't be an issue, but it is very time consuming to grade all the workbooks.  If you really need a semester escape, how about some video classes where you can just be completely hands off?

A real break/vacation with time away sounds amazing. I've never had a night away from my kids, except at the hospital delivering babies. 

Thank you for your experience with MP, @Spirea.  I'm with you on wanting a real vacation, too.

On 12/30/2021 at 5:21 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

I very very very highly recommend noise canceling headphones...for mom. I need an auditory break from my kids.

I also highly recommend mom going for a walk and leaving the kids at home. Getting some sunshine and exercise away from the home is helpful.  

I also have a no tolerance policy for bickering. If someone needs to be grumbly, they can do it by themselves in their room. I don't need to hear it.  When my older kids were your kids' ages, I had punishment time in the form of chores.  There are the chores that we all have to do because we are family members, but if someone was being super obnoxious they got to pull weeds, clean baseboards and light fixtures, and do extra things. Those were things that typically came out of my time budget of work when we deep cleaned. 

On a more serious note, keep an eye out on emotional health....for everyone. If you think you've got some low level depression showing up as anger (in any household member), this time of year it's worth using a therapy light, taking some extra vitamin D, and seeking help if it doesn't resolve in a few weeks.

Hi @prairiewindmomma.  Your suggestions are great, but one thing that I didn't mention at the beginning is that the angry kid has an ASD diagnosis.  I can't go for a walk and leave the kids at home themselves.  The usual consequences just don't work.  But I hope that your suggestions help someone else in this situation.  

[Quarter Note]

Sorry I was away from this thread, everyone.  I realize now that I should have just trusted my gut:  There was nothing wrong school-wise.  

Sometimes being Mom is harder than being Teacher.   

[prairiewindmomma]

1 hour ago, Quarter Note said:

@Garga, you understand!  Thank you!

 

Thank you for your understanding, @Clemsondana!

Thank you for your experience with MP, @Spirea.  I'm with you on wanting a real vacation, too.

Hi @prairiewindmomma.  Your suggestions are great, but one thing that I didn't mention at the beginning is that the angry kid has an ASD diagnosis.  I can't go for a walk and leave the kids at home themselves.  The usual consequences just don't work.  But I hope that your suggestions help someone else in this situation.  

I have kids with SN also. I would often go walking at 6 am, before dh left for work at 7am.  I think there is a tendency for SN moms to not get out and take care of our own needs, and if we aren't self-regulated and in good health then we aren't at our best to help our kids.  Physical exercise helps us deal with our cortisol levels and if we have high cortisol levels for long periods of time (much like the chronic stress of parenting SN kids, it makes us prone to have weight gain as the years go on.  I'm two decades into SN parenting at this point--I really wish someone had been blunt about this aspect early on.

[Quarter Note]

13 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I have kids with SN also. I would often go walking at 6 am, before dh left for work at 7am.  I think there is a tendency for SN moms to not get out and take care of our own needs, and if we aren't self-regulated and in good health then we aren't at our best to help our kids.  Physical exercise helps us deal with our cortisol levels and if we have high cortisol levels for long periods of time (much like the chronic stress of parenting SN kids, it makes us prone to have weight gain as the years go on.  I'm two decades into SN parenting at this point--I really wish someone had been blunt about this aspect early on.

Thank you, Prairiewindmomma!  You know what it's like, then!  Thank you for the reminder about taking care of our own health.  You are absolutely right!  My main exercise during the winter is our rebounder.  At least with that I can stay at home while exercising. 

[prairiewindmomma]

FWIW, just as an aside tidbit for thought....5th grade was when things got rough with one of my own SN boys. Some early hormones flowing through him definitely contributed to some of the tension.  I eventually got to the point I enrolled him in public school a couple of years later. I really wrestled with my own identity at that point--I knew I could homeschool him and educate him better than public school could, but I also know that my role as his loving mother was getting steamrolled by the hat I had to wear as his teacher.  Our relationship is better now that he is in public school and in retrospect, I probably should have enrolled him a few years earlier. Ultimately he needed me as mom way more than he needed me as his teacher.

Philosophically, I really believe in the benefits of homeschooling, but in reality, as a real mom dealing with real kids, I have kids who I homeschool and kids who go off to public school and everyone is happier for it.  My son also has easier access to a lot of transitional services as he moves into adulthood because he has a public school IEP.  

I just want to share that because we don't do a great job as SN moms of talking about some of the very real grind we go through....and if someone hasn't shared about how difficult 10-12 is for SN kids, I wanted to give you a heads up....it's not you, it's them. 🙂

[Green Bean]

I have 2 SN (ASD) sons and what prairie said is true. Both were absolutely nightmares at those ages. It does get better around 16. Until then, major hugs and come share in the SN board.

[Dianthus]

@Quarter Note

We did abandon most of MP and wow, it's like a vacation, school is so much better!

[Porridge]

My DD was angry much of  the time over the last few years. This year has been much better, I think because we got a diagnosis and I better understand how to help him. Also, I learned (as @prairiewindmomma pointed out) that I needed to care for myself. When I was tired or lonely, I had no extra margin to deal with the kids moods, etc. I hope you're able to find a way to get some of that time or space for yourself. 

Hugs, hugs, and hugs. 

Is it possible to change the output of any of the subjects to be something in your child's "preferred" area? For example, DS's thing is coding, so for history, he's coding a timeline. All his narrations go into his timeline, so they feel less like schoolwork, and a little like something he's doing for his own interest.  Is there anything like that that might enhance the "enjoyment factor" for your kids?

Edited January 20, 2022 by Porridge

[Quarter Note]

On 1/19/2022 at 3:20 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

FWIW, just as an aside tidbit for thought....5th grade was when things got rough with one of my own SN boys. Some early hormones flowing through him definitely contributed to some of the tension.  I eventually got to the point I enrolled him in public school a couple of years later. I really wrestled with my own identity at that point--I knew I could homeschool him and educate him better than public school could, but I also know that my role as his loving mother was getting steamrolled by the hat I had to wear as his teacher.  Our relationship is better now that he is in public school and in retrospect, I probably should have enrolled him a few years earlier. Ultimately he needed me as mom way more than he needed me as his teacher.

Philosophically, I really believe in the benefits of homeschooling, but in reality, as a real mom dealing with real kids, I have kids who I homeschool and kids who go off to public school and everyone is happier for it.  My son also has easier access to a lot of transitional services as he moves into adulthood because he has a public school IEP.  

I just want to share that because we don't do a great job as SN moms of talking about some of the very real grind we go through....and if someone hasn't shared about how difficult 10-12 is for SN kids, I wanted to give you a heads up....it's not you, it's them. 🙂

Oh, prairiewindmomma, you understand!  Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.  We have often considered public school for him, but it never feels like it's quite the right decision.  We're taking everything year by year, though. 

What I love about this forum (that I can't find in real life) is that those of us who are moms of neurodiverse kids can all commiserate:  Our kids can be wonderful, talented, bright, loving, generous, cuddly... and HARD all at the same time!  And we love them like crazy, despite how hard there are.

[Quarter Note]

On 1/19/2022 at 4:43 PM, Green Bean said:

I have 2 SN (ASD) sons and what prairie said is true. Both were absolutely nightmares at those ages. It does get better around 16. Until then, major hugs and come share in the SN board.

Thanks for the encouragement to hold on and for the hugs, Green Bean!  I do spend time on the SN Board, just haven't posted in a while. 

[Quarter Note]

On 1/19/2022 at 5:02 PM, Spirea said:

@Quarter Note

We did abandon most of MP and wow, it's like a vacation, school is so much better!

Wow - that's telling!  I know that some families love MP, but no curriculum can be right for everyone.  

[Quarter Note]

On 1/19/2022 at 6:46 PM, WTM said:

My DD was angry much of  the time over the last few years. This year has been much better, I think because we got a diagnosis and I better understand how to help him. Also, I learned (as @prairiewindmomma pointed out) that I needed to care for myself. When I was tired or lonely, I had no extra margin to deal with the kids moods, etc. I hope you're able to find a way to get some of that time or space for yourself. 

Hugs, hugs, and hugs. 

Is it possible to change the output of any of the subjects to be something in your child's "preferred" area? For example, DS's thing is coding, so for history, he's coding a timeline. All his narrations go into his timeline, so they feel less like schoolwork, and a little like something he's doing for his own interest.  Is there anything like that that might enhance the "enjoyment factor" for your kids?

Thank you very much, WTM!  I really appreciate the virtual hugs. It's so good to know that I'm not alone.  I think that you and prairiewindmomma are right - I've been running on an empty patience-tank for a while.  

I love your idea of coding for output!  I'll talk to my husband and son and see if we can brainstorm a way to take this idea and make it work for us.

[Dianthus]

13 minutes ago, Quarter Note said:

Wow - that's telling!  I know that some families love MP, but no curriculum can be right for everyone.  

Shudder. Not for us. Should have listened when I initially asked about the curriculum. I was so excited and had such high hopes. I was really sold on getting Christian studies into our routine, but it's not daily, it's weekly and just wasn't working.

I feel like we are getting so much more done now!

I'm thinking of abandoning the grammar too. Trying to decide if it's easier to stick with it or not.

Still need to find a replacement science option for ds10. He doesn't want to do Mystery Science.  Dd12 does like the lit guides and wants to continue the book of birds science.

At this point, the only MP product I would buy again would be Latin.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

On 12/20/2021 at 4:34 PM, caffeineandbooks said:

What about a "micro break"?  The days when I send each kid to their own room for an hour after lunch I notice an immediate feeling of relief in myself. 

We began having daily “quiet times” when DS dropped naps at age 2 & we still have them now at nearly 9! Our whole day goes more smoothly if we each get a bit of time apart. On school days this is two 30min breaks (one after lunch, one before bed). On non-school days it’s a 60min & a 30min break. Huge sanity saver! 

He is 2E (ADHD) & right on the cusp of tweenhood, so I know these next few years I’ll have my work cut out for me. Already working towards integrating some more independent or outsourced subjects so that I can focus my energies on parenthood & areas where he needs direct instruction. 

Edited January 24, 2022 by Shoes+Ships+SealingWax

[Green Bean]

On 1/19/2022 at 6:02 PM, Spirea said:

@Quarter Note

We did abandon most of MP and wow, it's like a vacation, school is so much better!

This is funny to me because we are doing mostly MP this year, and it’s going great! Different kids- different results.

Hope you enjoy your year!

[kiwik]

On 12/20/2021 at 4:55 PM, Frances said:

I agree with all of this. In addition to doing things on my own or with friends, my husband always took our son away for vacation for Spring Break. Starting at age 8, he also flew by himself to spend time with our families in the Midwest for several weeks each summer. I’m sure the pandemic is making all of this harder, but I think breaks for homeschooling moms are critical for everyone’s sanity.

Wow.  I have a kid with ASD no one else can cope with.  I haven't even tried to leave him overnight for about 5 years.