suddenly overwhelmed

[Noreen Claire]

Last year, our school weeks had 4 'regular' days and 1 light day per week. On the light day, DS9 would do just two subjects and DS6 would attend speech therapy at the local public school, then we would go to  the library. It was lovely. Everyone here does better with routines, including me.

This year, I took an adjunct professor job two nights a week. At first, It wasn't going to interfere with school at all but they asked me to take on an extra class, so I'm leaving earlier in the day. So, I moved some stuff around and we would have two short days, two long days, and our library day. Okay, we can do this.

Yesterday, the new speech therapist emailed and asked to see DS6 two mornings a week, on the mornings that I teach. (It was that or afternoons on non-teaching days, and I'm NOT taking 4 kids out of the house during nap/quiet time. No way.) So now, my schedule looks like we have two extremely short days, two extremely long days, and a regular-length day; a couple of 4-day-a-week subjects might need to be 3-day-a-week subjects now. Oh, and lets not forget soccer one night a week plus Saturday afternoons for DS9 and Sunday mornings for DS4 and CCD on Sunday mornings for DS9 & DS6 and DS9 is learning to be an alter server at the Saturday afternoon masses.... Oh, and hey, there's still housework to do! And planning for my adjunct classes! And, someone still has to make dinner...

My schedule is a disaster and I suddenly feel so overwhelmed. I should not have taken that job. Everything else  would be manageable if I wasn't leaving the house two days per week after lunch and not getting home until after bedtime. My husband also has an adjunct job (in addition to his full-time job) on the days opposite that I teach, so Monday-Thursday I don't see him except to say good morning and good night. On top of it all, everyone in the house, except DS22, is sick with a rotten cold and miserable and no one is sleeping well. I just need to make it to Christmas vacation... ::cry::

[mommyoffive]

Oh man.  I am so sorry.  We are here if you want to vent.  It stinks that things changed after you took the job, because it would have been fine without the extra classes and therapist changes. 

Okay so you only have to do this till Christmas right? 

Can your oldest help out in anyway?  Watch the younger kids?  Run them places? 

Can you hire help?  Babysitting or maybe someone to do the hs for you?  Clean the house? 

Can your dh do the weekend stuff?  Soccer and everything?  

Can you move hs to the weekends? If there is any free time?  

Can you drop some of the kid classes?  Not the therapy, but the church or soccer? 

Edited September 11, 2018 by mommyoffive

[Miss Tick]

((Hugs))

Can you use some of the $ from the third class to hire a one day a week cleaner our meal prep person? Can you find a carpool buddy for soccer? 

My sympathies for the crazy schedule

[Ausmumof3]

I would be overwhelmed too!  I think the only way that schedule would work here is if we could get math and literacy done with the non speech kids while speech therapy was happening.  If the morning is speech and afternoon is work it would be hard to fit them in.  We could deal with longer days of history or science but math and reading/writing have to be small daily snippets for us.

hope everyone is feeling better soon!

[G5052]

I was an adjunct all through our homeschooling years. And my husband had difficult medical problems including surgeries and procedures on an ongoing basis. So I was perpetually behind, and he wasn't able to take some of the load.

The way I adapted was to gradually move them towards more independent work. Even at nine, they can do some things on their own. That age is when I went to an assignment book for them and gave them certain hours when I was available and when I wasn't. Of course little guys can't do this, but at that stage I decided to focus on just the 3 R's and nothing else. We listened to a lot of books in the van and while they played, and we spent a lot of time outside. They drew and colored a lot and played with Legos.

And somehow we made it. Both are in college and are top-notch students.

[Noreen Claire]

House cleaning help is a good idea - I would have to do it without DH's knowledge, because he would try and do it all for me on the weekend, and that would just stress him AND me out even more.

I will make sure that we do math/spelling/handwriting/Latin get done everyday. I will also read to them every morning from our literature list. But, I think science and history are going to have to be bare-bones in order to keep them.

Did I mention that we are trying to sell our condo that we used to live in and had been renting? So, that's going on, too. UGH!

[mommyoffive]

Just now, Noreen Claire said:

House cleaning help is a good idea - I would have to do it without DH's knowledge, because he would try and do it all for me on the weekend, and that would just stress him AND me out even more.

I will make sure that we do math/spelling/handwriting/Latin get done everyday. I will also read to them every morning from our literature list. But, I think science and history are going to have to be bare-bones in order to keep them.

Did I mention that we are trying to sell our condo that we used to live in and had been renting? So, that's going on, too. UGH!

 

Oh my.  Hoping that sells fast. 

I think cutting school down is a great idea too.  Can you do story of the world on Audio book?  Science shows for science.  You can get things going in the spring. 

[Noreen Claire]

Don't get me wrong, I *totally* get that I have a great deal of privilege in this situation. It's only 14 weeks, and then both soccer and the adjunct classes will be over. We are blessed that I can possibly use some of my paycheck for help. I am just sick, extra sleep deprived, am severely change-averse so it seems extremely overwhelming right now.

Thank you for your advice and for letting me vent.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Noreen Claire

[Lecka]

I would tell the speech therapist the time doesn’t work and suggest other times.  

I would let a kid be out of speech therapy for 1-2 months. 

If it’s longer than that, I would try to pay someone to drive him to the afternoon session that interferes with quiet time.  

Just some thoughts.  

I cannot function with a schedule that doesn’t work for me.  I just cannot.  Speech therapy needs to fit in a way that works, it can’t be the straw that breaks the camels back, it is just not worth it.  A less-stressed mother is so important to the same kid who needs speech therapy. 

Edit:  really though you are allowed to say “no” when they ask to change a time.  You are allowed to say a time needs to change on your side, too.  

Now that you work part-time I think this is appropriate.  

Edited September 11, 2018 by Lecka

[J-rap]

It sounds like the breaking point is the two morning speech appointments.  I'm not sure if your kids are alone while you're teaching, or with your dh or someone else, but is there anyway you can arrange for someone else to bring your ds?  Even hire a neighbor to run him back and forth?  

Otherwise, perhaps if you explained the situation to the speech therapist, you two could brainstorm and work something else out.  Perhaps she has a little more flexibility than it first appeared, or maybe she could switch slots with someone else.  Since you already had the previous slots planned and built your schedule around it, it seems like she should work a little to accommodate you.

[Lecka]

She should.  She probably changed your slot because somebody else requested a different slot.  

Or maybe there is more than one group your child can fit with, and there are options.  

I wouldn’t expect an instant fix, but it could happen that something works out.  

Depending on the size of your town you might even be open to seeing a different speech therapist who would have a slot that works.  

But really — they do schedule around work and nap times, just because you have had a more open schedule in the past and could be more flexible, it doesn’t mean it’s the same situation for you now.  The speech therapist may not be aware you are working now and not the go-to person to ask to switch your schedule.  Or just less flexible for whatever reason!  Some people are or aren’t depending on a lot of different things.  

Edited September 11, 2018 by Lecka

[Noreen Claire]

24 minutes ago, Lecka said:

I would tell the speech therapist the time doesn’t work and suggest other times.  

I would let a kid be out of speech therapy for 1-2 months. 

If it’s longer than that, I would try to pay someone to drive him to the afternoon session that interferes with quiet time.  

Just some thoughts.  

I cannot function with a schedule that doesn’t work for me.  I just cannot.  Speech therapy needs to fit in a way that works, it can’t be the straw that breaks the camels back, it is just not worth it.  A less-stressed mother is so important to the same kid who needs speech therapy. 

Edit:  really though you are allowed to say “no” when they ask to change a time.  You are allowed to say a time needs to change on your side, too.  

Now that you work part-time I think this is appropriate.  

Unfortunately, because he gets his services through the school, he can only attend when she sees the other first grade students. (He attends in group, not individually.) I don't have anyone else to help by driving him; DS22's work schedules vary wildly week-to-week.

We did skip a few months after my youngest was born. I am hoping that this will be his last year in speech, so I don't want to cut it down too much. I'm thinking about only one afternoon rather than the two mornings...

[Lecka]

Oh, my son was in pre-school when I took him to an elementary for speech therapy.  They were flexible!

I think still ask.

My younger son was in group speech last year with 2nd graders while he was a 3rd grader.  The speech therapist thought it was a good fit for him.  Maybe she could fit your child in with K or 2nd.  It could be worth seeing what she says, even though it might not be possible.  

I hope it works out!!!!!!!!!

One afternoon might be a lot better than two mornings, too.  

[Rachel]

I agree with cutting speech somehow. I’d either temporarily go to once per week or take a break until the schedule gets a bit easier.

Our speech therapist offered to let us come in twice a week while she was building up her schedule, it was a lot!  After about a month we cut back to once a week and life was much simpler. 

Hang in there!

[Rachel]

One more idea if possible would be to get someone to take just that child to speech, then you could still work on school with the other kids. 

[scholastica]

1 hour ago, Noreen Claire said:

House cleaning help is a good idea - I would have to do it without DH's knowledge, because he would try and do it all for me on the weekend, and that would just stress him AND me out even more.

I will make sure that we do math/spelling/handwriting/Latin get done everyday. I will also read to them every morning from our literature list. But, I think science and history are going to have to be bare-bones in order to keep them.

Did I mention that we are trying to sell our condo that we used to live in and had been renting? So, that's going on, too. UGH!

It's never a good idea to do something like that without your spouse's knowledge. Can you have a meeting just the two of you. Sit down and figure out what is absolutely essential in the next 14 weeks, who can do what, and what you agree to outsource. You are a team. Work together. You can do this! I'm sorry things feel so bleak. Illness and exhaustion make everything feel worse.

[Noreen Claire]

My MIL comes over once per week, fairly regularly during the school year. She's been in Seattle the last 3 weeks, helping out my BILs family, so I hadn't thought about whether she can help. If she's able to come over on Tuesdays this year, he could do the Tuesday afternoon speech time, and I can leave MIL at home with the other kids during nap/quiet time (which usually isn't so quiet one she gets there). I'll have to ask her.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Noreen Claire

[Noreen Claire]

2 minutes ago, scholastica said:

It's never a good idea to do something like that without your spouse's knowledge. Can you have a meeting just the two of you. Sit down and figure out what is absolutely essential in the next 14 weeks, who can do what, and what you agree to outsource. You are a team. Work together. You can do this! I'm sorry things feel so bleak. Illness and exhaustion make everything feel worse.

Excellent point. Thanks.

[Noreen Claire]

Well, MIL can't come over on Tuesdays. Also, the afternoon times would have us getting to the school at the same time as the upper school lets out for the day and leaving when the lower school lets out. That means the parking lot will be crazy and there will probably be no where to park. So, it will have to be mornings. Boo.

[Soror]

lots of (hugs)! That's where I've been at this year, just been getting my head above water and figuring out our new normal, change is hard ?

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Noreen Claire said:

House cleaning help is a good idea - I would have to do it without DH's knowledge, because he would try and do it all for me on the weekend, and that would just stress him AND me out even more.

I will make sure that we do math/spelling/handwriting/Latin get done everyday. I will also read to them every morning from our literature list. But, I think science and history are going to have to be bare-bones in order to keep them.

Did I mention that we are trying to sell our condo that we used to live in and had been renting? So, that's going on, too. UGH!

Oh I can help with that!!! 

Get the Story of Civilization Audio Cds! Listen to them in the car, while eating lunc/breakfast/whatever. Very interesting, and Catholic! Done! Or, the Animated Kids History with Pippa is on youtube I think, or maybe Amazon and is good. 

Then for science, let them watch Crash Course Kids science videos on youtube, and watch a science documentary at night before bed, as a family. There are tons. Heck, even just myth busters teaches a ton of science. Or let them watch Octonots and Wild Kratts and Magic Schoolbus. Seriously, every time I try to teach my kids science they quote those shows and tell me they already know it, lol. But Crash Course is more "real" science if that helps. They can even watch on your phone or a tablet while at speech or on the TV on the nights you teach . 

[freesia]

I've had seasons like you are describing.  They are tough.  I don't have any advice, really, because only you can decide if you want to give something up or just put your head down and push through.  I do think housekeeping help is a great idea (but do tell your dh).