Χά�ων Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Since my son was DX with a life treatening illness 7 years ago I have been running through life at breakneck speeds. As any parent of a child with a serious chronic illness can tell you it is exhausting to keep up with all the medical appointments, and try to smash in as much living of life as is possible while not falling behind on schoolwork. I am tired. I have been tired for a while, but this past year has been too much. I want to slow down. We walk as much as possible, take the bus more often, but I want to do more. Any other ideas? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 BTDT. Ironically, "rest" has come from doing more (exercising regularly, planning dinner with friends) and from doing less (appointments, activities, commitments). Online grocery ordering is one significant thing that has really improved my quality of life. It's two hours of my life I have back a week, and it only costs me $5. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 We have some anchors. Holidays, including some more esoteric ones, just so too many days don't go by without a holiday. Traditions of folk music and stories. Mealtime and bedtime routines when possible. Not letting anyone make demands on our time, unless it's something we need and want to do. (And I am talking about tweens and teens, for all of this!) I agree with prairiewindmomma that some of the things you ADD can actually improve quality of life. Exercise brings health and more positivity. Socialization with friends means good memories that give us more to look back on than the blur of appointments. ​It is very hard to fight that medical machine. I know. Our kids can't do without it, and I'm thankful for it, but the travel, appointments, instructions, insurance and billing nightmares, and money spent are so MUCH to deal with, with no way to change the demands or the pace. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth86 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 No advice really. I realized this soccer season that NO ONE in my young family was enjoying extracurriculars. We sign the kids up because it's what a good parent would do kwim? Everyone is much happier not being tied down. I have decided no extras intil ds is in 3rd grade. I'm just letting them be little and taking it slow. So, advice only do what you have to and what you truly are passionate about. Grocery pickup has been a HUGE time saver for us. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 a) Your signature cracks me up!! b) :grouphug: for everything your family is enduring. c) I don't know if this helps, but this podcast has been life changing for me: Brooke Castillo Life Coach. Just Google it. It's totally free. Alley 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Just commiserating with you. I have 3 with special needs but while 2 are life threatening, they are not actively life threatening now and they are stable with that condition. It is all the other appointments and fighting disability that is getting me down along with trying to work. I try to walk as much as possible which now is very limited with darkness coming so early, working, bad weather, and so many appointments. I am seriously looking at getting a treadmill. I also try to connect with some friends often just to chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 See, riding the bus would have me frazzled, so I'm not sure if my definition will be the same as yours. For me, having as many blocks of time home is the hallmark of slowing down the pace. That means trying to schedule our lives so at least one weeknight a week, we are all home, with no one coming over and no one going out. I also try to make at least half of our Saturday be down time. A full Saturday is the holy grail. Same for Sunday evenings. Ex: right now our schedule is super busy, but on Tuesday nights, Saturday mornings, and Sunday nights, we are home, with no one coming or going. This is sustainable and replenishing for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christusg01 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Evenings at home would slow life down for me. We have commitments 4/7 evenings. Around holidays those commitments are usually cancelled and it's so nice to have those evenings at home. It's relaxing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I'd look at what you are trying to smash in and see what of that is most important and drop the rest. Smashed life is a little like smashed cotton candy. It's the same thing as the fluffy kind, but it's not as enjoyable, and it's harder to share. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: I feel for you and I get it. I am more of an avoider I guess, I escape into netflix or reading. My rebounder does help me a great deal too, and I binge Netflix guild free while doing it. Cliche I know, but sleep doesn't help when it is your soul that's tired. We have cut down on everything, family gatherings, commitments other than therapy, you name it. I am sorry for all you are going through. It has been a hellish year around here too, but things are finally getting better. I hope they do for you as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: I feel for you and I get it. I am more of an avoider I guess, I escape into netflix or reading. My rebounder does help me a great deal too, and I binge Netflix guild free while doing it. Cliche I know, but sleep doesn't help when it is your soul that's tired. We have cut down on everything, family gatherings, commitments other than therapy, you name it. I am sorry for all you are going through. It has been a hellish year around here too, but things are finally getting better. I hope they do for you as well. So glad to hear about improvement, Lizzie. May the upswing continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I agree with others about having as much unchaotic time as possible at home. But I am a homebody and would be delighted if I had three days in a row when I never had to leave the house. Grocery delivery sounds good; is there a laundromat near you that offers laundry service for a price per pound? If money isn't too tight, you may find that to be helpful, too - but for the drop-off/pick-up errands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 I am going to look at grocery delivery now that I found a good store. I want to give up my car. I cannot because one appointment is too far too walk and does not have a bus option. Almost everything else is close enough to walk or take the bus. I am shutting down. Even things that used to be fun are becoming a chore. I just want to focus on me and doing things that I want. I want to be a priority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 (edited) I am going to look at grocery delivery now that I found a good store. I want to give up my car. I cannot because one appointment is too far too walk and does not have a bus option. Almost everything else is close enough to walk or take the bus. I am shutting down. Even things that used to be fun are becoming a chore. I just want to focus on me and doing things that I want. I want to be a priority. I am sorry. I had three kids diagnosed with life long autoimmune illnesses all within a 3 year period of time. It was consuming. Particularly with my DS since his condition is far more life altering. So I somewhat understand. It is such a strain emotionally. For me, it led to a sort of depression that I couldn't shake. Maybe it has done this for you as well? I really don't have a perfect answer but for me, I had to start exercising, watching my diet, taking more "me" time, and I had to stop researching ways to help them. Everyone has answers and most of them are bullish*t. You can overthink it and research it to death and for me this was unhealthy. I had to limit the time I thought about the condition itself and focus instead on trying to live life to the fullest anyway. Hang in there <3 Edited November 28, 2017 by Attolia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 :grouphug: Our family has been dealing with mental health issues. It sucks. Things that have helped: trying not to schedule activities in the evening. Even though I do way too much driving around during the day, at least we can be home for dinner regularly. Curbside pickup for groceries Taking a walk most mornings has helped my mood. Doing more strenuous exercise has been too much for me lately. Meditating daily. I've also been pondering hiring a maid to come in occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I'm slightly confused as to why not having a car makes things easier. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I am going to look at grocery delivery now that I found a good store. I want to give up my car. I cannot because one appointment is too far too walk and does not have a bus option. Almost everything else is close enough to walk or take the bus. I am shutting down. Even things that used to be fun are becoming a chore. I just want to focus on me and doing things that I want. I want to be a priority. This sounds like depression. Have you been screened? Are you being treated for depression? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I've had my share for the last 14 years with DS and now DD for the last 2.5 years.So ikwym. The 1st thing we had to give up was social gatherings as we had to keep DS away from germs due to immunity issues. We lost a lot of friends because we did not go to their parties,was glad to have that act as a filter. After he got better and we were able to manage his issues we started homeschooling and lost friends then. So in all this the few remaining friends/family have become a pillar of support for us. I needed to slow down so homeschooling helped us focus,committed to classes when we could and gave myself and the kids time to slow down and breathe. I have added time to recharge esp when we have a hectic week I deliberately slow things down the next.I also watch funny shows and have tried hard to not talk to people who cannot understand our life. I do most of my Christmas shopping online,hired a woman to clean my house,kids get their weekly music lessons at home and I forgive myself for not being able to do a lot of things for others -like my mom,I let my 2 older sisters take care of mom they live close to her and I don't. I also cook a lot and that takes a lot of energy as my DD has foods she cannot eat,so I don't cook friday nights. Its my night off we all look forward to going out. Feel free to pm I am more than happy to hear you out. GL take a deep breath :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 I'm slightly confused as to why not having a car makes things easier. Slower. I cannot be expected to just jump in the car on a moments notice to go someplace. Trips have to be intentional and planned in advance. I am not isolated, I can get almost everywhere I need on foot or by bus, including social and me things. In an emergency I can call and ambulance or, if not life threatening, Uber. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 This sounds like depression. Have you been screened? Are you being treated for depression? I have severe anxiety. Depression was ruled out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 I am going to look at grocery delivery now that I found a good store. I want to give up my car. I cannot because one appointment is too far too walk and does not have a bus option. Almost everything else is close enough to walk or take the bus. I am shutting down. Even things that used to be fun are becoming a chore. I just want to focus on me and doing things that I want. I want to be a priority. If having the car is a financial strain you can always call the customer service number on the back of the insurance card as many companies have programs that provide transportation to medical appointments. You might need to set these up ahead of time but if this appointment is scheduled ahead of time that might be an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted November 29, 2017 Author Share Posted November 29, 2017 If having the car is a financial strain you can always call the customer service number on the back of the insurance card as many companies have programs that provide transportation to medical appointments. You might need to set these up ahead of time but if this appointment is scheduled ahead of time that might be an option. It is not a financial strain. I just cannot get everywhere I need without it. The transportation option ends to early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Slower. I cannot be expected to just jump in the car on a moments notice to go someplace. Trips have to be intentional and planned in advance. I am not isolated, I can get almost everywhere I need on foot or by bus, including social and me things. In an emergency I can call and ambulance or, if not life threatening, Uber. Who expects you to just jump in the car and go places on a moment's notice? That sounds very stressful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 You need to do what is right for you. What I need won't be what you need,vetc. The hard thing is figuring it out. Hugs to you. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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