Janeway Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 My husband always figured, ever since his dad's stroke, that he was out. But here is what happened. MIL is not husband's bio mom. FIL so damaged from the stroke that he no longer communicates. MIL tried to redo his will and informed us that she had re-written it and had a friend of hers who was a notary, notarize it. In it, she removed husband as the executer and took away almost all of his half of the inheritance. She made the executor a biological relative of hers and left the majority of FIL's estate to her biofamily. We were not too worried. It is evil, but that is how MIL is, no surprise. We also knew if FIL dies first, it won't matter because everything would go to MIL and she would have the right to do whatever she wants. I guess she found out that her re-writing FILs will is not valid. So she established a family trust and put her bio-relatives in charge and put all assets in to that trust. Now, I guess even if she dies first, she has a bio-relative of hers in charge of FILs care after her death and the bio-relative is charge of the family trust, and my husband is not named in the trust. Oh yeah, and she cut off all access to FIL years ago for my husband. He has not been allowed to see his dad in years. We did call APS a few months ago when we received calls that she cannot handle him. Husband tried to speak to MIL and she was drunk and flipping out on him so he called APS to check up on FIL instead. I guess I would not be so bothered, but MIL did go out of her way to inform me that she is planning to leave a portion of husband's portion of the estate to husband's exgf from high school. She states that she actually liked that girlfriend and wanted that girlfriend to be her daughter-in-law. (MIL ran off that girlfriend way back then, but in addition to that, even though husband and exgf had been engaged, exgf slept around on husband and got pregnant with another man's child, twice, and aborted one of those times. MIL actually hated her when husband was with her. But now that husband is not, MIL acts like she is the best and she is so close to her. In reality, if husband would have stayed with her, MIL would have hated her. MIL is just sick and hates anyone who is with husband). My husband and I both agreed to never marry again if one of us dies. But wow! Seriously, I guess this sort of thing is actually not that uncommon (according to the lawyer we talked about it with when we did our own wills). I hope my children never go through any of this when I am gone. The trust is a new thing since we spoke to the attorney. But since my husband and I have a trust, my understanding is that it will skip probate and there will be nothing to object to in court. The property is essentially owned and controlled by MIL's biofamily and FIL and his kids and relatives are left out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenC Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Wow. That makes me appreciate my MIL. Are your dh and his dad close? That would be tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 How is this possible if he is unable to communicate? How can she commit robbery like this? I am not an expert in estate law, but I don't see how she gets the right to rewrite his will and give his assets to her family? I am angry for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 How is this possible if he is unable to communicate? How can she commit robbery like this? I am not an expert in estate law, but I don't see how she gets the right to rewrite his will and give his assets to her family? I am angry for you. Legally, she cannot re-write his will. But after the stroke, she had him declared mentally incompetent. Then she re-wrote his will. We already consulted with an attorney and knew she could not do that. We did not tell her because it won't matter if he dies first anyway. Originally, if he died first, everything went to her. If she had already died, then everything is split evenly between his children, one of whom is her child. He only has two kids. I guess she found out that a will she wrote for him would not stand up in court so she established a family trust and transferred all assets to that trust. Trusts do not require wills and do not go through probate. And one person can set up a trust alone. Anyone left surviving that is listed on the trust gets what is in the trust. It is away around probate and other laws regarding wills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 How is this possible if he is unable to communicate? How can she commit robbery like this? I am not an expert in estate law, but I don't see how she gets the right to rewrite his will and give his assets to her family? I am angry for you. It's not possible. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I'm interested in how she was able to form the trust, unless she is owner of the assets used to fund the trust. My parents had to both sign off on moving stuff into the trust. I'm not sure it's worth it, but you can likely contest the trust as well. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 How is this possible if he is unable to communicate? How can she commit robbery like this? I am not an expert in estate law, but I don't see how she gets the right to rewrite his will and give his assets to her family? I am angry for you. OP’s MIL knows it’s invalid to rewrite the will and likely contested. Now OP’s MIL is just doing daylight robbery on the marital assets while OP’s FIL is still alive. I think being left out of a family trust can be contested after both in-laws pass but the legal fees may not be worth it. Especially if OP’s MIL’s aim is to use up all of FIL’s assets by giving them away to her relatives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I'm interested in how she was able to form the trust, unless she is owner of the assets used to fund the trust. My parents had to both sign off on moving stuff into the trust. I'm not sure it's worth it, but you can likely contest the trust as well. My H and I have a trust. Both of us had to sign the paperwork. The MIL would not be able to create a valid trust if those assets are in both her and her husband's name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilTN Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 My dh's father passed away when dh was 21 and his stepmother of course got everything. My dh was the only child of his father, and his stepmother had a grown son from a previous marriage. When FIL passed away, she got everything, shared it all with her son----after they blew through the money, she sold the farm and home and took that money and moved to another state with her son. Dh was left with nothing, and had to drop out of college. I don't understand how he is not completely bitter about it. Dh is a very successful CIO and so it's all okay now, but it was rough on him during those years. I feel that my FIL should have either left an insurance policy for my dh or had some other way to leave him something so that he could have at least finished the last years of college. (He did finish years later and also earned is MBA, but it was done nights/weekends and took several extra years). Yes I blame the stepmom but I also blame FIL. I also had a cousin that had this same thing happen....but her mother set things up so that her children were able to get some inheritance and that they actually own the home that her husband would continue to live in (she owned the home prior to marrying him). They still had lots of issues surrounding her estate and it caused hard feeling all around, but they tried. What your stepmother did was wrong, and I think it is heartbreaking and unfair. I don't know what could be done about it, but I hope for your dh that somehow things don't work out like the stepmom wants and that your dh can have a share of what I'm sure his father intended for him. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 My H and I have a trust. Both of us had to sign the paperwork. The MIL would not be able to create a valid trust if those assets are in both her and her husband's name. But she had her husband declared incompetent and is acting as his legal guardian, so would that not mean she can sign everything on his behalf? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 My dh's father passed away when dh was 21 and his stepmother of course got everything. My dh was the only child of his father, and his stepmother had a grown son from a previous marriage. When FIL passed away, she got everything, shared it all with her son----after they blew through the money, she sold the farm and home and took that money and moved to another state with her son. Dh was left with nothing, and had to drop out of college. I don't understand how he is not completely bitter about it. Dh is a very successful CIO and so it's all okay now, but it was rough on him during those years. I feel that my FIL should have either left an insurance policy for my dh or had some other way to leave him something so that he could have at least finished the last years of college. (He did finish years later and also earned is MBA, but it was done nights/weekends and took several extra years). Yes I blame the stepmom but I also blame FIL. Absolutely. He should have made a will that leaves a share outright to his children, put in trust while they are minors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Honestly, I just live with assumptions: I won't inherit anything, and neither will DH. It could be disappointing, or worse, in a situation where you are told you will inherit and then don't. And there are sooooo many fights about inheritance that I'd rather not even bother. It's very sad that this happens, and I would be royally PO'd, but a better plan for me is to try and not even listen or be a part of it. I need to emotionally protect myself instead. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 In situations like this, you have to come to the point that you accept that you have zero control. It's a rotten place to be, isn't it? When my dad was alive, it was 50/50, and I was executor. When he died, Mom put my sibling in charge and set up all the accounts as joint. My sibling "promised" they'd divide everything 50/50 anyway. The reality is that with joint accounts, they're 100% theirs legally. I have no rights. Six years later? Nothing. The court actually closed the estate for inactivity. Every professional I consulted said I had zero chance of winning any legal action. Any interaction with them is very strained. They know that we've been through a lot of financial distress and that I have two in college. So I move on... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Honestly, I think it is best to assume you get nothing. Most wills are written to support surviving spouses first anyway. Ask yourself, is it worth actually finding the angle your dh can argue his way into. And once he gets there is the hassle worth what might result. Is this worth the potential/present bitterness you have, the anger that will come and the $$ spent in potential legal fees. Sometimes pursuing something in the name of fairness or it's my right or just how dare that woman act so badly is really not helpful to you at all. Sometimes doing that just eats at your own soul and makes you a little less whole. OP, I really don't know all the details of you FIL will and family. Your are the only one who can decide if putting the energy into researching and pursuing an action. Take the time to evaluate the actual cost of doing so. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Also, in MIL's mind, she may feel justified to the estate if she is now the primary caregiver. Idk the struggles of caring for someone with a stroke, but I'm sure some people would feel like it's a just compensation. Esp if there's lots of appointments, physical care, financial strain, etc. (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Sounds like there is a good chance you will get nothing. But on the positive side, you won't be stuck with any of the probate fuss. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 MIL rewrote his Will? That is probably some kind of Criminal issue... If there is a substantial amount of money involved, you should pay an Estate Attorney to go after them in the state where they are located... Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 MIL sounds evil, and y'all don't have any interactions with them due to that. If you feel that FIL's wishes were circumvented and feel confident that FIL would not have wanted what is going to happen to happen . . . then you are within your rights to go to war by hiring an aggressive attorney. If you want to do that, I'd do it now, and use the attorney to help gain access to FIL. Go visit, etc. If you don't care enough about him to fight for access to FIL, then, personally, I'd let go of the money. IMHO, even though I would wish for all my kids to inherit, and would have structured my documents that way, if one of them didn't care enough to fight to see me for years, when I was impaired due to a stroke or other illness, then, I wouldn't regret them not getting my money. So, if you care, fight to see FIL. Then, after seeing him regularly and helping with his care . . . feel free to fight for proper estate documents, and just follow the attorney's guidance on that. If you don't care enough to fight to see him, then I don't think you're entitled (morally) to one red cent. IMHO. I'm sure you're looking at 10k+ in legal fees to get started, so presumably don't go far unless there is a lot to gain and you are willing/able to blow big money in the highly likely case that your efforts fail, no matter how hard you try. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicJen Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 As others have said, it's likely something you could contest because the course of events is definitely suspect and shows bad faith on her part. But the big issue with that is the cost of contesting it will likely not be worth it in the end. The fact that he wasn't actually leaving anything to his own family in the first place makes it difficult. It seems odd that he had a will but didn't want to leave anything to his own family in his will. So, the end result was always that the wife would get everything and then her family would get what she wanted from it, unless she died first. So the only real change is if she dies first in which case it may be worth contesting it but that would depend on how much money is being contested really. Anyway, good luck, what a crappy thing to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 It really depends on how much $ you're talking about. Also, in most states there is spousal elective share. In my state, my mom can elect against the will and trust and take 30% of the estate off the top. In her case with how my dad has set up the trust (maintenance for her) this is probably her most lucrative option. If spouses own property as joint tenants, then it will just automatically go to other spouse. Children are just not given the same standing as spouses in estate law. I'm not sure why you're concerned at all anyway. Sounds like there's been no contact with FIL for quite a while and if you weren't too worried when she thought she had a validly rewritten will, why does it matter now. For about $2K, you can probably get an attorney to review the situation for you and it would be less than that if there are no documents to review. Sometimes we just have to let a parent go and whatever wealth they have with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 (edited) But she had her husband declared incompetent and is acting as his legal guardian, so would that not mean she can sign everything on his behalf? The OP said that her husband was the executor in the original version of the will. Even if the MIL did get the fil declared incompetent, the MIL does not have the authority to remove the OP's husband as the executor of the will. I can't multi-quote. From the OP: MIL tried to redo his will and informed us that she had re-written it and had a friend of hers who was a notary, notarize it. In it, she removed husband as the executer and took away almost all of his half of the inheritance. She made the executor a biological relative of hers and left the majority of FIL's estate to her biofamily. Edited October 6, 2017 by snowbeltmom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 The OP said that her husband was the executor in the original version of the will. Even if the MIL did get the fil declared incompetent, the MIL does not have the authority to remove the OP's husband as the executor of the will. I can't multi-quote. From the OP: MIL tried to redo his will and informed us that she had re-written it and had a friend of hers who was a notary, notarize it. In it, she removed husband as the executer and took away almost all of his half of the inheritance. She made the executor a biological relative of hers and left the majority of FIL's estate to her biofamily. No, but OP also said I guess she found out that a will she wrote for him would not stand up in court so she established a family trust and transferred all assets to that trust. Trusts do not require wills and do not go through probate. And one person can set up a trust alone If FIL is declared incompetent, the MIL would be the one to decide what to do with the family assets. I do not see what prevents her from establishing a trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 The OP said that her husband was the executor in the original version of the will. Even if the MIL did get the fil declared incompetent, the MIL does not have the authority to remove the OP's husband as the executor of the will. I can't multi-quote. From the OP: MIL tried to redo his will and informed us that she had re-written it and had a friend of hers who was a notary, notarize it. In it, she removed husband as the executer and took away almost all of his half of the inheritance. She made the executor a biological relative of hers and left the majority of FIL's estate to her biofamily. Changing the will is definitely illegal and would not hold up in court. The trust issue is a bit trickier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 No, but OP also said If FIL is declared incompetent, the MIL would be the one to decide what to do with the family assets. I do not see what prevents her from establishing a trust. I believe that can vary by state. Moving non-marital assets into a joint account to circumvent the will would likely violate the fiduciary responsibility of the person with the power of attorney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 No, but OP also said If FIL is declared incompetent, the MIL would be the one to decide what to do with the family assets. I do not see what prevents her from establishing a trust. The fil made his wishes known in his will - his son was to get some of the inheritance. The court would not permit the mil to disregard the fil's instructions that were made when he was competent. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicJen Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Did she leave a way for his care taker to access money to pay for his care if she dies first and someone else oversees his care?? It seems like she took all his money and gave it to her family instead of using her role as power of attorney for him to do what was in his best interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 Did she leave a way for his care taker to access money to pay for his care if she dies first and someone else oversees his care?? It seems like she took all his money and gave it to her family instead of using her role as power of attorney for him to do what was in his best interests. Yep. It is a biological relative of hers. But to be honest, who knows! She is so unstable. She really should be declared mentally incompetent. I wrote a long post detailing some of the things she has done but it just got too lengthy and personal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicJen Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Wow what a mess...so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I'm sorry to hear that, Janeway. I have learned the hard way that money and inheritances can bring out the shittiest in some people. Your MIL sounds like a whole latrine unto herself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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