Scarlett Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 My friends fostered to adopt a young girl anf the final adoption court date is soon. She is 10. She came up to me this morning and told me. I already knew but I was pleased she is excited and wants to share. I want to buy her a gift.....personalized or not.....something to mark the day. Any ideas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 There are lots of cute adoption themed gifts on Etsy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 It might be fun to do a birthstone necklace, but use the month of the final adoption instead of her actual birth month. I'd wander through a James Avery catalog or store--they have pretty and meaningful charms you could put on a bracelet or necklace. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I would write a check for her college savings plan, and give $10 to her to spend however she wants. If interest rates were higher, I might buy a savings bond instead. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Just because I always prefer experiences to things, I would consider getting tickets or gift certificates or a season pass to some type of experience where they can celebrate the adoption and have fun together. The only time I would like a thing is if it was handmade, such as a quilt or artwork, but that's just me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Can you ask the parents? Something with her name & date on it - like an embroidered blanket - would be special. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Can you ask the parents? Something with her name & date on it - like an embroidered blanket - would be special. This is a great idea. My mom has made these super easy tied fleece throw blankets with all of the grandchildren and something like that with embroidery to mark the date (and maybe her new last name ?) would be really neat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 As an adoptive family we love family experience things. Depending on her interests maybe mini golf and ice cream, the zoo, a museum, movie, etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I would write a check for her college savings plan, and give $10 to her to spend however she wants. If interest rates were higher, I might buy a savings bond instead. My ds was adopted as an older child and this would probably have been what he'd have most liked. But also, for him, he got new middle name in addition to new family last name--a huge big deal in his case as he participated in the changes--and something personalized, even simple, like a pack of pencils or cute return address labels might have been appreciated. He did also did get a gift certificate for a store we used which allowed getting something of his choice which was appreciated. A subscription in child's own name to something like a Carus magazine publication might also be appreciated and show that the new place is now the child's place for the long haul, to get mail at... no more moving from foster home to foster home if that was a former issue. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffnkids Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 So many sweet ideas here! I'll add a couple more. If she's going to have her own room, you could get a little sign to hang on her door - "Jenny's Room" If the family owns a home and plans to stay there while she grows up, you could get a small tree for them to plant in the yard (love the idea of the child and tree putting down roots). Or one of those concrete paving stone kits - she could do handprints, name, and date. I like this because it is similar to having a newborn (handprints/footprints) and also "setting it in stone" - a permanent family! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 Thank you all. Lots of great ideas. I love the tree idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I wouldn't get anything personalized with her name right now, just because you don't know what the name change is going to entail (or you could ask her parents, assuming they definitely know now). I know children who have asked (and been granted) complete name changes (i.e. an entirely new first name, in addition to their new last name). I also wouldn't advise you order anything with the adoption date on it (not yet). These things can be pushed back or moved forward for a number of reasons. If one little tiny signature isn't right where they want it, it can be put off for a month, kwim? An experience would be great -- or wait until after the adoption is finalized before ordering. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 I wouldn't get anything personalized with her name right now, just because you don't know what the name change is going to entail (or you could ask her parents, assuming they definitely know now). I know children who have asked (and been granted) complete name changes (i.e. an entirely new first name, in addition to their new last name). I also wouldn't advise you order anything with the adoption date on it (not yet). These things can be pushed back or moved forward for a number of reasons. If one little tiny signature isn't right where they want it, it can be put off for a month, kwim? An experience would be great -- or wait until after the adoption is finalized before ordering. You are so right about the date. I have been through all of this with them and the system is maddeningly slow. And unpredictable. I think the only reason it might actually happen is because the bio mom relinquished her rights. The name thing....she is taking on the family's last name but not changing either of her first or middle. She was living with her bio mom up until a year ago so she has a strong connection to her name. And her middle name is the same as her adoptive moms. I am leaning heavily toward a do it yourself garden stone....that way she can put her own name and date on it the way she wants. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 How about a pretty journal with some fancy pens. There are probably plenty of emotions involved that she might need to work out a little. It might be a bit young but it might make her feel grown up and the fancy pens would be fun to play with if nothing else. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 11, 2017 Author Share Posted August 11, 2017 (edited) I bought her a nice leather journal and about 10 colored pens....a nice card and gift bag. I get to go to the adoption ceremony! I am pretty excited about that. Edited February 16, 2021 by Scarlett 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I bought her a nice leather journal and about 10 colored pens....a nice card and gift bag. I get to go to the adoption ceremony! I am pretty excited about that. This little girl has hit the jack pot in adoptive parents. But I still feel sad for her losing her bio mom to addiction. I also worry about her because she never cries and never seems sad. Is that normal? Normal? It's typical for kids in the system, yes. She likely has attachment problems and isn't genuine with people she doesn't know well. It hasn't been safe for her to be vulnerable in the past, so she isn't. If she never shows emotion even with her adoptive family, that is less typical and a sign she's had a more troubled history than simply addiction - probably including abuse and severe neglect. Either way, don't ask questions about her background, just be as supportive of the parents as you can, and open to listening if she wants to talk about it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 The gift you chose sounds great, Scarlett, because it's a keepsake but it's also fun and useful. :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Nearly-four-year-old thread. But since we're here--how's the family doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, plansrme said: Nearly-four-year-old thread. But since we're here--how's the family doing? ....deleted since I apparently shared too much. Edited February 16, 2021 by Scarlett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) Ooops should have checked the date. I was scratching my head at whoever suggested movie tickets. Not a safe choice! You'd think that would have reminded me to check the dates! Edited February 16, 2021 by BaseballandHockey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippymamato3 Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Adopting older kids is not for the faint of heart. I am sure they are going through the wringer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 As "exciting" as adoption is, as one looks to success stories and seeking to give a child stability and the best outcome possible, I realized (not just in my head) that all adoptions are borne out of some kind of crisis. Even the "best scenario" ones. So you do what you can and work hard and hope for the best, but sometimes the hurt is so deep and it isn't your fault if you can't make it disappear. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Zombie thread. Aaack. I hope they are all well! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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