Why anxiety sucks

[Night Elf]

I filled out an application to volunteer at the library. It was the same as an employment application. When I printed it, I was gung ho about doing it. The opportunity sounds fun and will get me out of the house a little while each week. But when it came time to mail it, I chickened out. I don't know if I can follow through. My anxiety shot through the roof and I needed a pill to calm down. Can you see me being called in for an interview feeling that way? I don't know if I can do it. I'm embarrassed to even tell my DH!

[kathy_overman]

I love your beautiful honesty!  

[happi duck]

(Hugs)

 

I can totally relate.

[Corbster98]

I struggle with anxiety too :( Just wanted to send you some hugs as I also totally relate.  :grouphug:

[catz]

:grouphug:   When anxiety starts to limit your life choices, it might be time to seek help. And I say that as someone who has gotten treatment for anxiety and depression. 

[MercyA]

I totally get anxiety.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

ETA: But I think you can do it!

Edited March 27, 2016 by MercyA

[Night Elf]

:grouphug:   When anxiety starts to limit your life choices, it might be time to seek help. And I say that as someone who has gotten treatment for anxiety and depression. 

 

Anxiety is only one of my diagnoses and I'm on medication for it. I no longer attend counseling because we reached the point where we were going in circles. I have to work through one big thing at a time and I wasn't having any trouble when I left counseling. Also, finding a counselor isn't easy because my HMO doesn't have the staff at my local facilities. It's quite frustrating. And I'm already paying out of pocket for one of my kids to be in counseling because our HMO couldn't help. We can't really afford for me to go too. And really, this is such a minor thing in the grand scheme of my life. It just sucks, that's all.

[Lizzie in Ma]

It totally sucks.

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

If you don't mail it, will it keep bothering you, adding to your anxiety?

 

What if you have someone else mail it out, then if they call maybe have someone drive with you to the interview?  Would that help at all?  I used to do this for the younger sister of a friend of mine.  She had anxiety.  I got her through two job interviews that way.

[Mom2Five]

I have severe medical anxiety so I get it. I'm actually having a panic attack right now wondering if I need to go to the ER for once again something else. Everyday is something that I think could be life threatening.

Its exhausting. Not completely the same thing, but I understand. :grouphug:

[maize]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

If you don't mail it, will it keep bothering you, adding to your anxiety?

 

What if you have someone else mail it out, then if they call maybe have someone drive with you to the interview?  Would that help at all?  I used to do this for the younger sister of a friend of mine.  She had anxiety.  I got her through two job interviews that way.

 

This sounds like a good idea, if it might help.

 

I am so sorry, yes anxiety sucks. Painfully and illogically.

 

Do you  know for sure that they have interviews? Maybe they just call people whose applications they like and ask them to set up a schedule. I am guessing you will enjoy the actual volunteering, if you can just get yourself through the intake process and settled into the position.

[OneStepAtATime]

This sounds like a good idea, if it might help.

 

I am so sorry, yes anxiety sucks. Painfully and illogically.

 

Do you  know for sure that they have interviews? Maybe they just call people whose applications they like and ask them to set up a schedule. I am guessing you will enjoy the actual volunteering, if you can just get yourself through the intake process and settled into the position.

Oh, good point!  Do they actually do interviews?  

 

And I agree, you will probably enjoy the volunteer work if there is just a way to get enough scaffolding in place to get through the intake process.  I hope you can find a way.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[catz]

Anxiety is only one of my diagnoses and I'm on medication for it. I no longer attend counseling because we reached the point where we were going in circles. I have to work through one big thing at a time and I wasn't having any trouble when I left counseling. Also, finding a counselor isn't easy because my HMO doesn't have the staff at my local facilities. It's quite frustrating. And I'm already paying out of pocket for one of my kids to be in counseling because our HMO couldn't help. We can't really afford for me to go too. And really, this is such a minor thing in the grand scheme of my life. It just sucks, that's all.

 

If it keeps you from getting out and doing new things as an empty nester, I wouldn't consider it a minor thing.  If you are happy with your situation and your life as is, that's one thing.  But the fact that you were initially gung ho sounds like maybe you aren't. 

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Night Elf]

They do interviews and skills testing. Volunteer positions don't come up very often but they're actually advertising for all four of our libraries in our system. I'm only interested in one library. If you don't get the position, they hold onto your application for one year. If you see another opportunity come up, you contact them to look at your application again. I think I'm a good candidate for an interview, but I don't know. And it lists they are looking for a 3-month commitment but they don't say how many hours per week they need someone to work. I need to work around my kids' schedules. I'm the taxi to and from school. I'll be available any shift in the summer. We'll see if I can mail it on Monday. I don't think it will matter if someone else mails it. It's the idea that someone will actually call me that terrifies me.

[kwg]

Well , my first thought was......if your anxiety shoots through the roof again you can let it go to voicemail, take a pill, and call them back when you are ready right?  Chemistry for the win!   

 

Good luck!  

 

:grouphug:  I can get the same way.  I am forever talking myself into things.  

[Minerva]

:grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

They do interviews and skills testing. Volunteer positions don't come up very often but they're actually advertising for all four of our libraries in our system. I'm only interested in one library. If you don't get the position, they hold onto your application for one year. If you see another opportunity come up, you contact them to look at your application again. I think I'm a good candidate for an interview, but I don't know. And it lists they are looking for a 3-month commitment but they don't say how many hours per week they need someone to work. I need to work around my kids' schedules. I'm the taxi to and from school. I'll be available any shift in the summer. We'll see if I can mail it on Monday. I don't think it will matter if someone else mails it. It's the idea that someone will actually call me that terrifies me.

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Maybe just take it in steps.  Get it in the mail.  Focus just on getting it in the mail.  If you don't, then the fact that you couldn't do that much may cause additional anxiety anyway, and you won't have anything to show for it but additional anxiety.  Try hard not to think about what comes next.  Just take that first step.  

 

Once you get that far, then maybe keep a list of all the things you would want to ask about and what you would want them to know about you with you during the day.  That way, if they call, you have something written to refer to.  Maybe someone can help you write it and possibly practice that conversation.  Just having a plan and a written reference in place might help reduce anxiety a tad.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   Take one small step at a time.  And try to remember that whoever receives your letter  just needs volunteers.  They are not in a position to hurt you, nor do they want to.  They just need volunteers.  I know that may not help much but it sometimes helps me to remember why I am in contact with the person I am anxious about contacting and what their purpose is.

[Innisfree]

Hugs. I know it's hard. Do you think you'd be pleased with taking the step of getting it in the mail? Just one step, and then you can pat yourself on the back and know you did that, and maybe feel a little better about the next step.

 

It really is something difficult you're contemplating, you know. Try to give yourself full credit for that in your own mind. Facing anxiety and plowing on regardless is hard. Don't diminish that difficulty to yourself by saying "why can't I get this in the mail?" Reframe it as "This is a really significant obstacle. It's hard, but I'm not giving up. I am proud of myself."

[OneStepAtATime]

Hugs. I know it's hard. Do you think you'd be pleased with taking the step of getting it in the mail? Just one step, and then you can pat yourself on the back and know you did that, and maybe feel a little better about the next step.

 

It really is something difficult you're contemplating, you know. Try to give yourself full credit for that in your own mind. Facing anxiety and plowing on regardless is hard. Don't diminish that difficulty to yourself by saying "why can't I get this in the mail?" Reframe it as "This is a really significant obstacle. It's hard, but I'm not giving up. I am proud of myself."

This.

 

Because what you are contemplating isn't small potatoes.  Don't diminish what you are feeling. Those feelings are real and hard to work with.  The fact that you were excited to begin with is awesome.  Now you take the next step.  One small step.  Put it in the mail.  And then celebrate that you took that step.  Try not to worry about the next step.

[Guest]

:grouphug:  I always have to give myself a big push to get involved in things. :grouphug:

[Guest]

((((((((((((Beth)))))))))))))

 

Anxiety is a common symptom of menopause and psych meds are not without risks and side effects.

 

It's normal for older women to enjoy being homebodies more than youngsters do. I'm so grateful for my "shameful" misplaced youth travelling around the continent on the cheap because I certainly wouldn't enjoy doing anything remotely like that now (early 50s) even if I was sleeping in luxury hotels instead of under freeway overpasses and eating at five star restaurants instead of soup kitchens.

 

Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to shift gears into the next season of this adventure we call "life".

Edited March 27, 2016 by Guest

[Guest]

I filled out an application to volunteer at the library. It was the same as an employment application. When I printed it, I was gung ho about doing it. The opportunity sounds fun and will get me out of the house a little while each week. But when it came time to mail it, I chickened out. I don't know if I can follow through. My anxiety shot through the roof and I needed a pill to calm down. Can you see me being called in for an interview feeling that way? I don't know if I can do it. I'm embarrassed to even tell my DH!

I'm so sorry! I have had anxiety strike in exactly that manner and it really stinks. :(

 

Sometimes it helps me if I actually think through a worst-case scenario, because for some reason, (maybe it activates the logical part of my brain?) it helps me see that nothing horrible will happen.

 

I heard a parent recently trying to help his kid eat a disliked food and he said, "It's okay. You're not going to DIE from eating mushroom." It was a very simple exchange, but I thought, "Wow. I should use that to help myself when something makes me anxious!" :)