gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I invited my brother to lunch for his birthday. we've been estranged due to incredibly untoward behavior on his part. (so much so, that when I was revisiting it, I was asking myself *why* I invited him to lunch.) I'm now very frazzled. dh is not available. he's become a conspiracy new-world-order theorist. way beyond that even. (he's an engineer . . . he's lost his marbles.) he's very into near-death-experiences. he loves to tell people what THEY should be studying. he got mad at me for asking "how do you know? what evidence is there?" questions about them too. "just take what I'm saying as fact". uh, no thanks. (I'm a very religious person, I know all about taking things on faith -but God gave us a brain, and I believe He expects us to use it.) all the while - I get to listen to him say how he's not judgmental (I don't want to hear the conspiracy theories - so I'm choosing to be blind. eyeroll.) he says he can tell if someone is calming or not to be around. . (he makes family very stressed just being around him.) mostly I just rolled my eyes. he did get out of line by asking my how heavy dh was. . . no heavier than you are. . . . (proceeds to belabor his opinion).. .. db - no he isn't and that is very RUDE. he actually looked confused. (someone contradicted him.) he also never mentioned dh again the entire time. I repeatedly had to bring him back on topic. I wanted to hear about his children . . and what he is doing. he would hardly talk about his kids. oh - and when I asked specific questions because his comments were so broad - he'd get mad and claim I was interrupting. he makes me think of a chicken without it's head running around looking for something, but doesn't know what. ever searching and never coming to a knowledge of the truth. now - how to decompress . . . . WITHOUT eating chocolate . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I'm sorry. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I'm so sorry - that sounds really hard. Maybe a walk to the end of your street and back will help clear your head? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I think chocolate is warranted. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 If anything calls for chocolate, I would say today qualifies. I think you handled it beautifully. I might have mentioned "..."Hilary Clinton, our next president" just to see him foam at the mouth, but that's just me. ;) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 I think chocolate is warranted. :grouphug: I had some hot chocolate (I add extra cocoa powder and whipping cream.) If anything calls for chocolate, I would say today qualifies. I think you handled it beautifully. I might have mentioned "..."Hilary Clinton, our next president" just to see him foam at the mouth, but that's just me. ;) I don't like her either (nor do my ultra liberal family members. including his daughter.). talking politics with him - no thanks. maybe I should have brought up roswell aliens . . . . they are kinda cute. well, they grow on you. like a fungus. actually I want the cartoon that had the kid being dragged to the voting booth - but I don't wanna vote. I did come up with an idea of how to deal with all the garbage he sends me. send him quotes. (looks innocent) I've sent my first one. I'm wondering if it will raise his blood pressure. ;p he started it . . .. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 When I talk to people in my family, who are frustrating to talk to because they seem to live in their own version of reality, I just reminded myself that when they start to make sense, is when I need to worry! Otherwise...live and let live. Once conversations get to the point that we both walk away shaking our heads, that it is time to take a break from eachother. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I think chocolate is warranted. :grouphug: No doubt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I have several similar family members. Interestingly, they've all been diagnosed with Asperger's as adults, and most of them are engineers. Now I just smile and tell myself this is how they are trying to relate to other people. My son is high functioning autistic, and the more I enter his world the more I understand. And then I let it go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I have several similar family members. Interestingly, they've all been diagnosed with Asperger's as adults, and most of them are engineers. That was my first thought upon reading the OP, especially the bit about him looking confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Lots of hugs your way! Good job handling the situation. Glad you had some sort of chocolate :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 hugs... Maybe too rude of a question, but does he have mental health problems? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 24, 2016 Author Share Posted March 24, 2016 That was my first thought upon reading the OP, especially the bit about him looking confused. the confusion was that someone dared to contradict him and directly object to what he said. (you'd have to know his ego. and it's *ego*.) he's incredibly abrasive. (I severed contact because he did things that pushed the legal envelope.) If it was just abrasiveness - it wouldn't be so bad. as for aspergers - I have an aspie. I have another child who preferred aspies for friends. I've been around a lot of aspies . . I would have been more likely to be diagnosed with asd by today's criteria than he. hugs... Maybe too rude of a question, but does he have mental health problems? my sister once asked me if I thought he was bipolar. no. he may be depressed - he's made some really stupid life choices, and the last few years they've bitten him where it hurts. (which is probably why he's "searching" for something.) I personally think he has narcisstic personality disorder. our grandmother likely did - and he was the golden child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliz Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I'm so sorry! Chocolate is definately indicated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliz Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I'm so sorry! Chocolate is definately indicated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 24, 2016 Author Share Posted March 24, 2016 thank you for good thoughts and hugs. I'm feeling better. I feel very good about sending him 'quotes' or even links to books. whether he reads them or not, i really dont' care. it might make him realize his isn't the only opinion in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgliser Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 HUGS! What a tough situation. :( Sounds like you did a good job handling him and yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 (edited) :grouphug: Sounds like you did fine. Edited March 28, 2016 by _kathy_ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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