How do you reconcile different homeschooling styles of mom and kids?

[scbusf]

I have 3 kids - ages 9 1/2, 8, and 5 1/2.  The 5 year old isn't doing a lot yet as far as formal school goes.

 

I lean WAY towards a Charlotte Mason approach.  My oldest is OK with that, but my 8 year old is not.  She struggles greatly with anxiety/OCD and she LOVES workbooks.  She wants to have a list of which pages in which books to do.

 

I am finally realizing that I have been spending an inordinate amount of effort trying to combine the 2 oldest ones and it's just not working.  I don't want to completely do different history and science with them, but I have got to figure out a better way.

 

We are pretty good with Math - everyone has a math curriculum that is working for them (knock on wood, quick!). But for example, right now, for DS9, we are doing BF Early American History (Intermediate) and I thought DD8 would listen in, but she is not interested AT. ALL.  DS9 is also doing BFSU, vol 2 and again, I thought DD8 would join in, but nope.

 

And to add to the issue, all 3 kids are fairly advanced for their ages. Both DDs are adopted from China, so I have 3 genetically different kids and I seriously cannot figure out how to make this work.

 

I would love any insights anyone can share so I don't lose my mind! Thank you!

[FO4UR]

History and science for a wb-lover with a CM-leaning mom?

 

Memoria Press

[....]

I generally do what's best for the kids (within reason).  

 

My older two are kinesthetic learners and we've always done lots of hands-on projects, interest-led learning, unit studies, etc.  My son would cry during school when did a school-at-home approach when we first started homeschooling.  He hated anything to do with school.  So, I really tailored our school work to what they enjoyed and did well with.  The middle two are auditory learners and they actually do well with workbooks, living books, anything - they're very easy to teach.  They are happy with practically anything.

 

Now that the older two are in their early teens, they're much more adaptable with schoolwork.  My son just finished Notgrass' US History this week and that's textbook based.  He did it all on his own without complaint.  2-3 years ago, he would've cried if I handed him a US history textbook.   

[Jean in Newcastle]

I teach the kids I have.  Both have had learning challenges that didn't quite fit my ideas of how this all was going to go. 

[abba12]

Letting go of the super hands-on, teacher-led stuff and letting independence happen. The book lover can independently read their book, the workbook lover can independently do their workbook, maybe you can do an activity together, and both can come to mum afterwards and discuss their work. Try to line workbook and reading up, so you're doing the same basic time period with both. But, it does mean letting go of some desires if your dream is a very teacher-intense school.

[HomeAgain]

I wonder if task cards would be a good compromise for you.  Creek Edge Press sells some, but you can easily make your own for the week detailing what is to be done in each subject. It still allows flexibility of books, but gives a checklist of work to complete.

[BlsdMama]

I have 3 kids - ages 9 1/2, 8, and 5 1/2.  The 5 year old isn't doing a lot yet as far as formal school goes.

 

I lean WAY towards a Charlotte Mason approach.  My oldest is OK with that, but my 8 year old is not.  She struggles greatly with anxiety/OCD and she LOVES workbooks.  She wants to have a list of which pages in which books to do.

 

I am finally realizing that I have been spending an inordinate amount of effort trying to combine the 2 oldest ones and it's just not working.  I don't want to completely do different history and science with them, but I have got to figure out a better way.

 

We are pretty good with Math - everyone has a math curriculum that is working for them (knock on wood, quick!). But for example, right now, for DS9, we are doing BF Early American History (Intermediate) and I thought DD8 would listen in, but she is not interested AT. ALL.  DS9 is also doing BFSU, vol 2 and again, I thought DD8 would join in, but nope.

 

And to add to the issue, all 3 kids are fairly advanced for their ages. Both DDs are adopted from China, so I have 3 genetically different kids and I seriously cannot figure out how to make this work.

 

I would love any insights anyone can share so I don't lose my mind! Thank you!

 

 

Can you not just teach CM style in the mornings and during "quiet time" let DD have at the workbooks for fun?  I realize CM and workbooks do not mesh philosophically.  But, truly, allowing an 8 year old to do a few worksheets for a half hour each day is an easy compromise.  

 

I like the "I teach the kids I have," quite a lot.  But I want to balance that with, "And I am the teacher I am."  I will never, on this Earth, if I have my druthers, ever (EVER) be a unit study mom.  I'm not that woman.  I lean heavily to CM as well.  My children are incredibly different - they range from severely dyslexic with learning issues to extremely gifted and everything in between.  I read aloud to all.  What might that look like?  Well, they are all in the same time period.  I do not line everything up perfectly.  We generally read aloud chapter books aimed at about a 4th-7th grade level for history, science, art, etc in the morning times.  The older children then read more.  The younger children listen to SOTW.  We read a comparable level book as a family in the evenings - generally just good quality, classic literature.  All children are assigned books to read beyond the read alouds.  These things are immoveable.  They are to *my* taste and fit *my* teaching style.  Now, once you get into language arts I simply can't use anything too one-on-one intense.  But I have to teach reading to the ability of my student - then I  teach to the student.  The same with math - I don't necessarily use the same curriculum from child to child.

 

You can call for narrations and expect them to each give you a narration as their ability dictates.  We do memory work and older kids do more memory work beyond what we do in our morning time together.  

 

Our afternoons consist of handwork and quiet time.  This is when little ones nap and older children must read.  We do have one that often listens to audio-books instead of reading.  These are generally assigned and read at will.  After 1-2 hours, then the children have free time.  One of my children loves to draw.  She will spend hours doing that.  Another loves to bake, another plays with Sculpey, another will spend time outside.... If your particular child *loves* workbooks, this is a good time to compromise on that.

 

If I were  you, I would do the same history and science for a 9.5 and an 8.  I would go ahead and keep them separate in language arts areas and math unless they are very evenly gifted.  I would read aloud to them from the same books for history, science, and read alouds/literature.  It doesn't matter their interests.  We do the same read alouds for our 1yo through 14yo (that's nine kids) at Morning Basket time and our evening lit. time and sometimes a couple aren't "into" the book.  That's fine.  The next one might suit them.  Listening and discussing aren't optional and Mom chooses the books, and I always choose carefully, but no one is thrilled all the time.  The end.   :)

Edited February 11, 2016 by BlsdMama

[KeriJ]

Can you not just teach CM style in the mornings and during "quiet time" let DD have at the workbooks for fun?  I realize CM and workbooks do not mesh philosophically.  But, truly, allowing an 8 year old to do a few worksheets for a half hour each day is an easy compromise.  

 

I like the "I teach the kids I have," quite a lot.  But I want to balance that with, "And I am the teacher I am."  I will never, on this Earth, if I have my druthers, ever (EVER) be a unit study mom.  I'm not that woman.  I lean heavily to CM as well.  My children are incredibly different - they range from severely dyslexic with learning issues to extremely gifted and everything in between.  I read aloud to all.  What might that look like?  Well, they are all in the same time period.  I do not line everything up perfectly.  We generally read aloud chapter books aimed at about a 4th-7th grade level for history, science, art, etc in the morning times.  The older children then read more.  The younger children listen to SOTW.  We read a comparable level book as a family in the evenings - generally just good quality, classic literature.  All children are assigned books to read beyond the read alouds.  These things are immoveable.  They are to *my* taste and fit *my* teaching style.  Now, once you get into language arts I simply can't use anything too one-on-one intense.  But I have to teach reading to the ability of my student - then I  teach to the student.  The same with math - I don't necessarily use the same curriculum from child to child.

 

You can call for narrations and expect them to each give you a narration as their ability dictates.  We do memory work and older kids do more memory work beyond what we do in our morning time together.  

 

Our afternoons consist of handwork and quiet time.  This is when little ones nap and older children must read.  We do have one that often listens to audio-books instead of reading.  These are generally assigned and read at will.  After 1-2 hours, then the children have free time.  One of my children loves to draw.  She will spend hours doing that.  Another loves to bake, another plays with Sculpey, another will spend time outside.... If your particular child *loves* workbooks, this is a good time to compromise on that.

 

If I were  you, I would do the same history and science for a 9.5 and an 8.  I would go ahead and keep them separate in language arts areas and math unless they are very evenly gifted.  I would read aloud to them from the same books for history, science, and read alouds/literature.  It doesn't matter their interests.  We do the same read alouds for our 1yo through 14yo (that's nine kids) at Morning Basket time and our evening lit. time and sometimes a couple aren't "into" the book.  That's fine.  The next one might suit them.  Listening and discussing aren't optional and Mom chooses the books, and I always choose carefully, but no one is thrilled all the time.  The end.   :)

 

This exactly.  I was going to answer you, but this is exactly what we do. 

 

I am a CM leaning mom.  I will never ever be a big hands-on, project mom.  But my kids are all over the map. 

 

The description above is what we do.  We always have a literature read-aloud together, and we do daily reading from something in science, history or geography.  Each has their own language arts and math and assigned reading.  Then all other subjects are done independently for about 5th grade and up, with materials that fit their "style".   Lots of free time in the afternoons for those who love hands-on projects (which they figure out themselves) or just reading or being outside or art or whatever. 

 

 

[8filltheheart]

Have you tried writing out a lesson planner so that she can see what needs to be done each day so that she can check off each item as it is done?

 

I do not alter my teaching style for my kids. I try to make the most of their interests, but, no, I do not become very hands on for one and workbooky for another. Too many to juggle on that level of difference.

[KrissiK]

Well, you do what's best for the kids. I am a classical leaning history loving mom. I love academics, I love learning. My kids.... Not so much. I wanted our homeschool to be a center of learning, where the kids loved learning, and got into science experiments and living books and all that. But the kids.,.. Not so much. They want to do school and be done with It. So, what I have learned is that you do school for them and not for you, if you want their cooperation, especially as they get older.

[Critterfixer]

 

I lean WAY towards a Charlotte Mason approach.  My oldest is OK with that, but my 8 year old is not.  She struggles greatly with anxiety/OCD and she LOVES workbooks.  She wants to have a list of which pages in which books to do.

 

I don't think the CM police are going to come for you if you give her some structure to work with. To my mind, structure is part of a beautiful order that makes the day more available for contemplation and masterful inactivity. If I know what must be done, I can work through it in an absorbed, peaceful way. I don't see anything un-CM about giving her a list on the whiteboard that shows her what to expect and when it is expected. 

 

Workbooks are not all busywork. Any workbook we use (with the possible exception of the ones for geography this year--the maps are more important!) are used because they have a purpose. Our Latin workbooks help us study for translation and help us to memorize our grammar forms. Our French workbooks help us work on the dreadful French spelling. Our math workbooks provide us with ample practice for our math skills. 

I don't have workbooks for anything else. But I have a list of questions that I want discussed, either orally or in written format for history and the same for science. I provide these questions in written form for the boys. In writing we have a schedule for each day-whether we are reading, outlining, discussing, imitating or simply reflecting on what we have read. And everything for the day is carefully written in order of when it needs to be done. That is more or less how I balance differences. I come up with expectations that I'd like to be met, and figure out how best to get there. And I make sure that everybody has got the plan: it's written on the board every day, we talk about it, I get feedback on it as the days go by and adapt accordingly. 

 

 

Edited February 11, 2016 by Critterfixer

[Sahamamama]

I have 3 kids - ages 9 1/2, 8, and 5 1/2.  The 5 year old isn't doing a lot yet as far as formal school goes.

 

I lean WAY towards a Charlotte Mason approach.  My oldest is OK with that, but my 8 year old is not.  She struggles greatly with anxiety/OCD and she LOVES workbooks.  She wants to have a list of which pages in which books to do.

 

I am finally realizing that I have been spending an inordinate amount of effort trying to combine the 2 oldest ones and it's just not working.  I don't want to completely do different history and science with them, but I have got to figure out a better way.

 

We are pretty good with Math - everyone has a math curriculum that is working for them (knock on wood, quick!). But for example, right now, for DS9, we are doing BF Early American History (Intermediate) and I thought DD8 would listen in, but she is not interested AT. ALL.  DS9 is also doing BFSU, vol 2 and again, I thought DD8 would join in, but nope.

 

And to add to the issue, all 3 kids are fairly advanced for their ages. Both DDs are adopted from China, so I have 3 genetically different kids and I seriously cannot figure out how to make this work.

 

I would love any insights anyone can share so I don't lose my mind! Thank you!

 

If you were not her teacher, but "just" her mother, and you saw her struggles and preferences, what would you tell her teacher? Think about what you, as a mom, would say to a teacher, and then say that to yourself. :)

 

A mature, confident teacher should be able to hear a reasonable, passionate parent, without becoming defensive. It's harder when you are both, LOL. But force your "mother self" to say to your "teacher self" what you, as a mother, need to say about this child's needs. Be her advocate.

 

As a resourceful teacher, you will find a way to make your workload manageable, without short-changing your student. In your shoes, I would probably work with Son as his own class (CM style), and combine Daughters A & B as a group (especially in a few years) for content studies. You don't know yet what your youngest daughter will prefer, so there's no harm in pulling her in to whatever you do (or don't do) with your middle child.

 

IMO, your daughter's anxiety is the first order of business. She won't learn if she is anxious and doesn't feel secure in having enough structure to her school day. Workbooks and page numbers are concrete -- things she can feel and touch and turn and see. Trust your intuition on this (for now, at least) and allow her to feel successful with this approach -- Workbook A, pages X through Y. Check.

 

Just my two cents -- I wouldn't recommend MP's Science workbooks. Yes, we are using What's That Bird? this year, and while we are enjoying it, the course needs some help, IMO. They needed me to go over it before they sold it to me. :glare: I have a different idea of what constitutes "ready for sale."

 

If you don't like workbooks to begin with, the (IMO) incompleteness of the MP materials might become annoying. I do have to go through and put the work into it, which I think ought to have been done by the company. My pet peeve, I know. But I can't recommend the product.

 

I do recommend Evan-Moor Daily Science for your workbook-loving girl. Very easy to implement, you only need a few things outside the teacher guide and student workbook, and it's affordable. We did this last year, and I just selected the level in between my daughters' grades. Worked out fine. There are 30 weeks of lessons, but we chose the ones we wanted, and then spent the other weeks doing nature study/hikes and reading library books.

 

As for History, you can't go wrong with Story of the World. It's simple, easy to implement (use CDs of the book, if you don't want to read it), has an activity guide, coloring pages, read aloud suggestions, map work. I suppose you could do the basics of the course with your daughters (just read the SOTW chapter & ask narration questions), then add more activities for your son (hands-on projects and book basket).

 

Take heart! You won't lose your mind, because you are asking good questions and seeking workable solutions for your homeschool.

[Arcadia]

My kids are a year apart but I can't combine them for anything. DS10 prefers guided workbooks or he lose focus while DS11 is adaptable but prefers guided for writing.

 

If you were their hired private one to one tutor instead of their mom, how would you tutor them?

[scbusf]

Great advice, everyone.  Thank you so much!!!