Book Crazy Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 My ds 8, with a June birthday. According to Florida law, he should be in 3rd grade. This would make him one of the youngest in the class. We don't do grades here, but would it be OK for me to say that he is a 2nd grader? I have been looking at examples of some 3rd grade stuff, and the maturity level of the lessons, to me, seems above me son, even though he should be in 3rd grade. I guess my real question is, is it ok for me to slow down and not rush through life? Will my son be harmed if he is not in the grade he should be, just so that he has time to be ready for the next level? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraceinMD Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 is it ok for me to slow down DO IT NOW, because it is a LOT harder to "slow down" when they're older and all their friends are aware of what "grade" they're in.... Repeat: there is no rush, there is no rush, there is no rush. You can help him succeed if you place him accurately NOW, by looking at what he can do, rather than what the state says he COULD do. Not that I have any strong opinion about this :) --- I just wish my older self had spoken to my younger self about 6 yrs ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 DO IT NOW, because it is a LOT harder to "slow down" when they're older and all their friends are aware of what "grade" they're in.... Repeat: there is no rush, there is no rush, there is no rush. You can help him succeed if you place him accurately NOW, by looking at what he can do, rather than what the state says he COULD do. Not that I have any strong opinion about this :) --- I just wish my older self had spoken to my younger self about 6 yrs ago! Thank you. My little voice has been screaming at me to slow down, but it is hard to break from the habit of "school". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamato4 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 :iagree: wholeheartedly with Grace! I don't have personal experience but I have a friend who pushed to have her son into a higher grade level than his birthday allows. He did struggle a lot through school. I have another friend who decided to hold back her son a year even though he made the birthday cut-off. He is thriving and doing so well since he is older than most of his classmates. Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I wouldn't do it. I'd be more likely to consider it if his bday was late August, but June? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcara Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I think it depends on the child. If you feel uneasy about him being in 3rd grade, then you're probably right! You're the best judge of where your child is. However, I believe some kids would have no problem moving ahead. My dd has her birthday in early September, so I understand the struggle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 You are homeschooling. Move him on to third grade in January. Up the work load each semester. That is pretty much my plan... for how much work I expect out of DD whose b-day is in July. If you must start the next grade in Sept... keep him in 2nd with the thought that he might surprise you later and be able to skip 4th or 7th. It is not a life sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 That's the beauty of homeschooling! You know the level of work that your child can handle better than anyone else so you can choose what to give him. My oldest has an early September birthday and I'm still trying to decide what to do with her (she's 4). But no matter which year I consider to be her kindergarten year I will always do my best to keep her working at her level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Not to add to your confusion, but for a boy with a late birthday, I'd be even more likely to hold him back now. It has NOTHING to do with his intelligence and everything to do with maturity and readiness. Right now it's writing skills, attention span, etc., and later on it's just readiness to leave home and face the world. So a girl with a birthday on the same date might do fine being moved ahead and a boy might benefit from being held back. You can always fix that later by letting him graduate early, but it's unpleasant to have to hold them back later. For this little one about to be born, I've already decided to use the back grade no matter how smart or what gender. I know I'm not going to have a profoundly gifted dc or anything that really begs to be forward, and even if I did, it's rectifiable later. I'd listen to your gut on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I have 3 boys with summer birthdays. They each did a K5 year and then a K6 year before starting 1st grade at age 7. (In MN we have to report our students between the ages of 7 and 16.) HTH, Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusPair Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Follow your instincts about what's best for this particular child. My ds was 8 in 2nd grade. He turned 9 this summer and is in 3rd. He is so different this year! He has developed so much emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I can't imagine him doing the work he's doing now as an 8 yr.old (at least the kind of 8 yr. old he was). He definitely needed to go and grow at his own pace. I think "holding back" is a great idea, particularly for boys. I think it gives them confidence in themselves and their ability to learn and try new things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I'm a firm believer in keeping kids back if they're on the borderline age- or maturity-wise. DD5 has a late August b-day and we're making this year her pre-K year. She could use an extra year before anything academic is expected of her, her listening and focus skills are not where I would want them if she was in K. Really, the only thing it affects is her placement in classes at church and my expectations of her. She still does phonics, writing and math on her level. It does feel a little weird to see her friends at church, particularly one that is younger than she is. But I think it gives her an advantage to not be behind everyone in her class. And I can't stand the thought of her going off to college when she's just barely (or not yet) 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 And I can't stand the thought of her going off to college when she's just barely (or not yet) 18. This is one of my concerns/worries. I have an August birthday and finished school at 15. In the UK school finishes at 16. I went onto to college for 2 years and now I look back and wish that I had waited a year between finishing school and starting college. I might have actual done some work instead of goofing off in the pub. :D I just was not ready for the work load and the expectations put on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 ...then having him work at whatever academic evel he is capable of. Your instincts on this are important. As others have said, it really doesn't matter for purposes of your schooling, but might matter for things like Sunday School, Cub Scouts, sports, etc. In our area, the norm anymore is to hold all summer bdays, and even some spring ones. Thus, the average age entering K around here is 5 years 9 months. That means more than half the kids are 6 going into K (and 7 going into 1st, 8 going into 2nd). My DS8's bday is in July. If I called him a 3rd grader, he would be with generally older, more mature kids in Cub Scouts and Sunday School. Instead, we call him a 2nd grader and he fits right in. He's way ahead of 2nd in reading, a bit head in math, at level in writing - I figure we are doing fine. You might want to consider those outside activities and the kids he would be grouped with if you call him this or that grade level. It might help affirm your thoughts that he needs to be called a 2nd grader. Then have fun doing the schoolwork that works for both of you! Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Many private schools have been doing this with summer birthday boys for a decade or more now. They tend to do much better on SAT/ACTs later on with a little more maturity under their belt. My own older son has a mid-July birthday and I wish that we could have held him back. His is immature in many ways. We were afraid to hold him back because he's always been so very tall (and is 6'4" now, and still not finished), and because in some ways he's very mature and never really had much patience with those younger than himself. But I still worry that he may not do well in college unless he does a lot of maturing over the course of the next couple of years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 We were afraid to hold him back because he's always been so very tall (and is 6'4" now, and still not finished), and because in some ways he's very mature and never really had much patience with those younger than himself. But I still worry that he may not do well in college unless he does a lot of maturing over the course of the next couple of years. My son is 4' 8" and wears size 5 shoes and towers over most of his friends that are the same age. Of cause he is very uncoordinated and a lot of people think he is older than he is, just because of his height. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mountain View Academy Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 My ds 7 is in first grade (he turned 7 the end of May). This is very common were we live since the cut off date is Aug 1 and some school districts is July 1. I would say the majority of late spring/summer bdays we know all start K at 6. I know more people who regretted pushing ahead then slowing down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 My ds 8, with a June birthday. According to Florida law, he should be in 3rd grade. This would make him one of the youngest in the class. We don't do grades here, but would it be OK for me to say that he is a 2nd grader? I have been looking at examples of some 3rd grade stuff, and the maturity level of the lessons, to me, seems above me son, even though he should be in 3rd grade. I guess my real question is, is it ok for me to slow down and not rush through life? Will my son be harmed if he is not in the grade he should be, just so that he has time to be ready for the next level? This is what we did! My son is a July baby...I considered this year (the year he is seven) to be his first grade year. If it ever becomes necessary or prudent I could skip him up a year...a lot easier to do than having to hold him back a year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KLA Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I have one with early August bday and one in September and I'm so glad we didn't start them earlier just because we could. My son 10 is just starting 4th grade and my daughter 9 is just starting 3rd grade. Yes they are among the oldest and could have handled the academics just fine but I'm happy we'll have them around an extra year. Where I'm from, everyone with May-August bdays, boys and girls, waits to start K until 6yrs old. I just don't regret it at all. And when they have needed more challenging academics, we have provided it, but still call them the same grade level. I think there is a lot of pressure in the homeschool community to push them forward when its okay not too. Do what's best for your son. :) KLA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in CA Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 You are homeschooling. Move him on to third grade in January. Up the work load each semester. That is pretty much my plan... for how much work I expect out of DD whose b-day is in July. If you must start the next grade in Sept... keep him in 2nd with the thought that he might surprise you later and be able to skip 4th or 7th. It is not a life sentence. :iagree: I have 2 ds with late Sept. birthdays and this is what we do. I start a new "grade" in January. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 :iagree: I have 2 ds with late Sept. birthdays and this is what we do. I start a new "grade" in January. Glad to know I am not alone. We are easing into 1st grade work now, mostly staying at an hour a day. I hope to be following my first grade schedule in January. I am starting new curriculum all over the place, too, not just in Aug- September. Where I live we have an option for all High School Seniors to graduate in January... so it should work out really well. :) How are the school years broken down when graduation is at 16? I am stuck in the three stages, 4 years each mode and I am wondering how that would change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidsnbooks8 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I have 2 daughters with summer birthdays, end of July and beginning of Aug. The July one just turned 8, and I am doing 2nd grade with her, and I am doing some K and some 1st with the one that turned 6 in Aug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I call him a 6th grader although he is 12 and would be a 7th grader in most PS's. MichelleT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I'd hold him back, Sarah. I think you all be happier when he's older. Lots of kids are big now days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommamia Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 We have 6 yr old spring b-day twins.....this is our K6 year. I was just reading some of Dr Raymond Moores info on the subject of not rushing(moore foundation). I have no regrets about reporting as Kindergarten. It's just what we report-not what/who they are. Just paperwork in my mind. Oh, and they are big for their age....actually look about 8:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I put one of my sons in 'K' when he was 6...late June Birthday. The best decision I made. Dd was just 5 late July. I will do the same for her. My last dd's bd is late August. I will do the same there also. I'm in no hurry...Life is to short...let them play. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Another vote for holding him back to 2nd grade. My dd was 6yo in July and I'm calling her 1st grade, but really her work load is more of a glorified K curriculum... OPGTR, HWOT, finishing Sing K, then moving into 1a, reading through CHOW for history, studying countries of the world, One Small Square books for science. I'm taking it very easy with her. I think I expected too much of my older ds and they've pretty much lost their love of learning. I don't want to make the same mistake with the littles. Hold him back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denainms Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I have a son who turned 8 at the end of June, and I held him back in 2nd this year, best decision I ever made, he is maturing and thriving, reading is taking off, he just was not ready for third grade work maturity issue, not academic issue) We also held him back in 2nd grade at church in Sunday School and other activities and he is just doing great! I say hold him back, you won't regret it.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMarie Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 We just decided to hold our son back a year, from 2nd to 1st, even with a January birthday! He is tall (my only tall one) but it was still a great decision. He now thinks that he is a pretty smart fella because he understands all his school work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 My ds 8, with a June birthday. According to Florida law, he should be in 3rd grade. This would make him one of the youngest in the class. We don't do grades here, but would it be OK for me to say that he is a 2nd grader? I have been looking at examples of some 3rd grade stuff, and the maturity level of the lessons, to me, seems above me son, even though he should be in 3rd grade. I guess my real question is, is it ok for me to slow down and not rush through life? Will my son be harmed if he is not in the grade he should be, just so that he has time to be ready for the next level? It would be just fine to call him a second grader. It would be fine to call him a 3rd grader and have him doing 2nd grade work. You can do whatever you think is best. If your gut is telling you something, I find it best to listen. (Unless it is telling you to eat the entire pan of chocolate chip cookies...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Wisc Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 will be 19 before starting college. My oldest is in college; the other 2 are still in high school. They are considered mature for their age...have a brain, and can think logically... I can't imagine why I would have chosen to push them. My youngest did 6th grade twice, and in that one year he brought his PASS test grades up 50% points on ALL parts of the test. He went from being a very slow, mildly dyslexic child to an A student in that one extra year of maturity and review. Do what you need to do. Don't look back.:D Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 My oldest has a May birthday. He could have started Kindergarten in the fall of 2006. He wasn't ready for many reasons. Even though I knew we were homeschooling, I called the PS to get an idea of what they expected from a Kindergartner. The woman I spoke with even agreed that he was a "young" 5 and not really ready for school. We did another year of homeschool preschool. Had I started him in school that year he would be in Second Grade right now. He still can't read. He's a reluctant reader. He understands all the letter sounds and most of the blends, but just is NOT ready to read. He would be struggling. His younger sister (September birthday) and him are both currently doing First Grade work. They are pretty much performing at the same level. I am perfectly comfortable with the decision I made for my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thanks for the replies everyone. It's good to know I have "permission" to hold him back a grade. He's reading is fine, just finished reading Murder on the Orient Express. It's more the handwriting and keeping his attention for more than 10 mins at a time that I have been worried about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 He's reading is fine, just finished reading Murder on the Orient Express. It's more the handwriting and keeping his attention for more than 10 mins at a time that I have been worried about. That's us too.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommamia Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 That's us too.:) Same here! Also, I don't look it as holding them back. From what I have experienced there is an age range per grade....for example-5-6 for K, 6-7 for 1st. We are not holding them back, we are letting them blossom!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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