Sick kids: pushing through vs. let it go

[4KookieKids]

What do you do when your kids get sick? Especially if they frequently get sick?

 

Until now, we've generally just let them rest, watch movies, etc. and skip schoolwork altogether. But recently (like that last 3-6 months), my oldest seems to be getting sick more often -- several times a month, most months. I know it's genuine illness (rather than faking it to avoid work) and we're working on figuring out what the underlying issue is (if there is one), but in the meantime, I fear we've set a bad precedent of not doing school when sick. I want to be compassionate, but "normal" schoolwork is less than an hour a day still, and I don't feel like that's so much to ask when a kid is otherwise just laying in bed anyway.

 

Thoughts?

[Guest]

How old? Any elementary age kid I would just read. They read, I read, we read together. I'd hit math hard whenever they were healthier, and when theygot sick again I'd go right back to just reading.

 

I'm really sorry your LO is struggling with health right now :(

[EKT]

My kids rarely get sick, thankfully. If they're so sick that they can't raise their heads, then of course we just let them rest in bed or maybe watch a movie. If they just have a cold, though, and maybe feel crummy but are otherwise "with it", then we do "school in bed." Usually, this means I sit next to them in bed and just do school that way. Instead of writing themselves, I will take dictation from them for the day. I also will read aloud and/or do narrations while they're in bed, etc. It's a light day, but I make an effort to do something. Mostly reading, though!

 

Hope your child feels better soon!

[Arcadia]

My kids push through and just catch a nap as needed. They don't like to lay in bed though, they rather be reading and doing work if they are not too exhausted from being sick. They were sick for the month of Jan and April this year due to seasonal allergies.

 

I had gastro issues, frequent urti, asthma and seasonal allergies. One trigger the other so I was sick most of the year as a kid plus throwing up often at school (preK-6th). It was not easy to pinpoint causes even with my thick medical history records.

 

Good luck figuring out the cause.

[regentrude]

I do not think it sets a bad precedent not to do school when sick.

Really sick = sick enough to stay in bed with lots of rest.

He will be bored, so some audiobooks or educational documentaries will be welcome.

 

If it was a high schooler I'd encourage him to get a little bit of work done if he feels up to it. But a sick elementary schooler? No point.

 

Now just feeling not-so-good (a cold but no fever, for example), but able to get up and willing to get up if there were fun to be had? Regular school it is.

[MerryAtHope]

Too sick to get out of bed and play or do anything besides lie on the couch = no school.

Starts out too sick to do anything but lay around, but has energy by afternoon = we'll do school the next day unless they take a turn for the worse.

Sick but energy to play at least somewhat = at least a modified school day. Maybe slightly shorter, but certainly reading and math and read-alouds.

[Tsuga]

Define "sick".

 

Vomiting 2+ times in 24 hours or a fever means sick. Otherwise we don't really look at it like being sick--it's more "the sniffles", "a sore throat", "feeling gassy" and yeah, we all go to school, work etc.

 

I would seek medical attention for chronic issues like stomach aches, constant nasal drip or runny nose, etc. but would not stop school. If my child literally could not hold up their head for more than two days a month (or even that much) I would try to gently keep it going while spending more time to find out the root cause.

 

If you ask to play with friends or Legos, and no fever or vomiting, you're not sick in this house.

 

I hope you find the root cause of your child's frequent illness soon. That must be very hard to watch.

[Mystie]

Too sick to get out of bed and play or do anything besides lie on the couch = no school.

Starts out too sick to do anything but lay around, but has energy by afternoon = we'll do school the next day unless they take a turn for the worse.

Sick but energy to play at least somewhat = at least a modified school day. Maybe slightly shorter, but certainly reading and math and read-alouds.

 

This is my rule of thumb, also, and I provide audiobooks, but not screen time.

 

We do school with colds, but I'll get them tea with honey while they do their work and acknowledge it might take them longer and let them know that's ok. For older kids with colds that include a headache, I'll give them Tylenol and suggest they put off math until it kicks in. 

[Reefgazer]

A fever that causes them to be lethargic means school is shut down for the day.  Everything else, I play by ear and intuition.

[freesia]

A fever that causes them to be lethargic means school is shut down for the day.  Everything else, I play by ear and intuition.

Same here.

 

Most of the time they get a shorter day--but still do some school--particularly things like reading. I skip spelling--which is one on one and requires a lot of though. I'll also still read a loud and have them do math if they are up to it.

[Loowit]

I really play it by ear a lot.  A couple weeks ago DD had a virus, no fever, but a really yucky sounding cough and was very lethargic.  She was sick most of the week and slept a lot.  It ended up being bronchitis.  DS got it the next week and wasn't quite as sick, but still too tired to do much.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that none of the rest of us get it.  A minor cold or something where they feel up to being up and on their computer means they can do school.  Today DD had bad cramps, and I gave her some pain pills and told her to get her work done.  I have a lot of sympathy for her, but life goes on and the pain pills work well for her.    DD has been trying to get out of school work a lot lately, so she has to be quite sick for me to give her permission for a day off.  My youngest gets sick the most and I modify stuff a lot for him.  Last week while he was sick and just laying around he could still listen to lessons.

[FO4UR]

If there is no vomit, we do school.  It might be a light day, but we do something.

 

My asthma kid has bad days/weeks occasionally and I adjust for him.  He literally cannot focus if he's not breathing well or taking tons of meds so he can breathe well.  What else can we do?  

[fdrinca]

We are just getting over colds, and I commented to DH that one side benefit of homeschooling is that I never question if we need to go to school. We can try it, adjust attitudes and expectations as needed, and make sure to spend time resting and eating good food. 

 

My kiddos are still little, so even when they get colds, they can be pretty miserable. Miserable kids can't learn, but they can practice piano, play a few strategy games, read or be read to, or watch a nature video or two.

[...................]

I don't have a rule.  I just gauge how sick they are and tailor the day accordingly.  I also require at least one hour of quiet rest in their room, to facilitate a nap in case they need one.  Generally speaking, on the most ill day of the illness (usually day two), they don't have to do any school because they are so busy blowing their noses, drinking tea, and taking their asthma nebulizer.  

 

Usually when they get a little better, I give them a light schedule, just a few things.  

 

Any fever, vomiting or diarrhea is automatic no school day. :o)  headaches usually are no school depending on severity and cause.  A little mild headache calls for tea and lying down and then back to school.  

[duckens]

It depends on the age.

It depends on how sick.

For youngers, it's easier to let them miss a day here and there.

For dd5, it hardly matters.  She's doing K-1 work, so she should be doing more playing than working anyway.

Dd8 is old enough and mature enough that we have discussions about, "We need to get a certain amount done so we don't have to do schoolwork this summer."  

If I had Middle Schoolers, High Schoolers, or kids with outside classwork due, I could see pushing through for at least those assignments, or setting expectations of weekend or evening work when my child feels better.
------------------------------------------------------------

I've always felt that the advantage of homeschooling is the flexibility.

When my children are sick:
1) We prioritize.
--Are there any assignments due for outside classes? Online?  Co-op?  Private tutoring?
--Dd8 is currently on Day 78 out of her 100 Day Piano goal.  She is highly motivated to finish.

2) I ask, "What do you feel up for doing?"  I give options of grammar workbooks or geography program or online typing practice.  ANYTHING she wants to do is good because half a loaf is better than no loaf at all.

3) I tell dd that she can go and sleep/rest at ANY time.  She is the best judge of that, and even on non-sick days, she sometimes begs-off doing schoolwork to go rest...then naps for 2-3 hours.  If she was so tired that she slept, it was probably a good choice to go lay down.  I am lucky that she does not abuse this option, and I praise her when she uses good judgment.

4) We watch public television.  We have a bunch of Novas and Natures stored on our TIVO.  There is more than one way to learn.

[abba12]

I have NEVER had a truly lethargic illness. I never understood staying in bed all day sick, I was bored silly when my mum made me do that. I mean, I might get a little sleepy but I've never been too tired to do things (which made it terrifying when my toddlers developed a severe flu that left them, quite literally, sleeping for days. One of those days, DD2 spent a grand total of two hours across the entire day out of bed, by HER choice, I was trying to get her to at least lie on the couch around everyone else!)

 

So, coming from the perspective of someone who isn't overwhelmingly sleepy while sick, I always figured if I feel awful anyway, why not get school done, I can't do anything else nice, and maybe I can buy myself a healthy day 'off' if I do double lessons now. Yes, I was a very logical child.... 

[Seeking Squirrels]

We're dealing with this question today. My 3yo has croup so I haven't gotten much sleep for two nights. 7yo is also sick and so am I. My kids don't tend to want to stay lying down unless they're *really* sick, though. Especially my 7yo, but even my 3yo isn't too down during the day (typical croup, it's night time that it gets horrible). They both just get really cranky. So part of me wonders if it's worth it to push school even though she'll be up playing instead if we don't, not resting in bed. If I didn't have a sore throat I would just plan on reading a lot all day.

[MerryAtHope]

We're dealing with this question today. My 3yo has croup so I haven't gotten much sleep for two nights. 7yo is also sick and so am I. My kids don't tend to want to stay lying down unless they're *really* sick, though. Especially my 7yo, but even my 3yo isn't too down during the day (typical croup, it's night time that it gets horrible). They both just get really cranky. So part of me wonders if it's worth it to push school even though she'll be up playing instead if we don't, not resting in bed. If I didn't have a sore throat I would just plan on reading a lot all day.

 

I'd probably do educational videos, play with some manipulatives, put in an audio book and let them do puzzles etc... to give the day structure (so *I* could make it through too!) on a day like this. You know they really are sick, and you at least have an idea of how they feel by how you feel. If you feel up to some minimal school, you could do some--but don't stress if not. Hope you are all feeling better soon!

[Seeking Squirrels]

I'd probably do educational videos, play with some manipulatives, put in an audio book and let them do puzzles etc... to give the day structure (so *I* could make it through too!) on a day like this. You know they really are sick, and you at least have an idea of how they feel by how you feel. If you feel up to some minimal school, you could do some--but don't stress if not. Hope you are all feeling better soon!

 

Thank you for the suggestions :-) I have a tendency to go all or nothing and it's good to be reminded there are ways to meet in the middle somewhere when the needs of the day call for it.

[EKS]

Just a cold and we do school, though perhaps a reduced load.

 

Throwing up--no school.

 

High fever--no school.

 

[itsheresomewhere]

I tend to do a reduced load for colds.  Fevers and throwing up get a rest and if they are up to it- read or education videos.

[JessReplanted]

We do school unless someone is really sick. If you're not sick enough to want to be in bed, then you are probably good enough to do some work.

[Momto4inSoCal]

We usually just do school honestly. Maybe a lighter day. We just had the stomach flu but it hit my twins who aren't school age yet and me. That was pretty miserable because there was really no reason to cancel school for my girls but I was taking care of my boys and sick myself. High fever or vomiting are really the only way I will cancel.