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Are homeschoolers just odd ducks?


SparklyUnicorn
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I don't like what often happens when homeschoolers defend themselves...these homeschoolers did this epic/impressive/phenomenal thing or these homeschoolers don't like pop culture at all or these homeschoolers are "successful" (narrowly defined) etc.

 

This kind of defense is part of what makes me an odd duck with the few homeschoolers I've met irl. We weren't out to make our kids "better" or less "worldly".

 

We just wanted to give our kids the space to grow and learn and thrive as themselves...whatever that ends up being!

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I don't like what often happens when homeschoolers defend themselves...these homeschoolers did this epic/impressive/phenomenal thing or these homeschoolers don't like pop culture at all or these homeschoolers are "successful" (narrowly defined) etc.

 

This kind of defense is part of what makes me an odd duck with the few homeschoolers I've met irl. We weren't out to make our kids "better" or less "worldly".

 

We just wanted to give our kids the space to grow and learn and thrive as themselves...whatever that ends up being!

 

Yeah, I know. We don't intentionally make statements with our homeschooling. It just happens because we're living our lives this way. And that's how it turned out.

 

I didn't make my kids choose their own music the way they did. I've never said anything about Taylor Swift other than she looks too skinny to me. But my dds don't care for her music, they prefer instrumental stuff, they choose their own TV shows and are inclined toward geeky stuff.

 

I don't condemn other people and their choices, but my kids have made choices that I am satisfied with, by and large. But those choices also make them a bit out of sync with many of the kids of their age demographic that are not homescchooled. There are a few kids who can bridge the gap with mine (three of them are over at my house after school let out today) but by and large, my kids just don't fit in. Sometimes this hurts more than others.

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It makes me tired to talk about homeschooling, even to people who also homeschool or who "approve" of it.  I used to enjoy talking about it.

 

I notice that many people who know me well seem to think that I am, of course, qualified and doing a fabulous job at it, but all the other people who homeschool are complete losers, as has been mentioned in this thread.  In my case, I truly believe that the people who know me are supportive of me homeschooling and do think I am doing a fine job, don't need to socialize my kids more, and don't need a ton of oversight (since TX has none).  But all of the other folks are probably failing miserably.  So odd.

 

Homeschooling is not a religion to me.  I backed into it, rather than rushed headlong, embracing it all the way.  We are Christian but don't homeschool for religious reasons,  We are part of a co-op and put our kids on competitive sports teams so I think they have a social life.  Our school district is the lowest performing one of the large county we live in so people shake their heads knowingly when I tell them we homeschool.  I often just let people think we homeschool because our public school district is so poor, but that is not true.  Private school was always our plan.  My oldest child was never homeschooled.  I am already toying with the idea of putting little dd in a university model school when she hits high school level because if I'm old and tired NOW think how it will be in four years.  I'm not currently enjoying homeschooling - I do it because it is our best alternative.  If my older son had been NT, all of my kids would probably be in private school, and I would be at work full time at this point.  I'm having a low energy and motivation stage currently and am just finding my big girl pants every day to soldier on.  Now I'm not sure what any of that has to do with the topic at hand so carry on.   :D

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I was talking with dd13 and ds15 today about homeschooling.  They have noticed that many of their friends who used to be homeschooled are now in school.  I told them that it was because many parents are not comfortable homeschooling through high school.

 

Oooohhh...  This was obviously something they hadn't thought of.

 

I also told them that even most/all of their homeschooled friends don't do school the same way that we do.  Most of them do video school or a box curriculum.

Dc gave me a look kind of like  :blink:.

 

We're kind of eclectic (and it seems to me that maybe my dc appreciate that?!).  Mostly basics (language and math) in the elementary years, lots of independent learning in the middle and high school years.  

 

So, even among the homeschoolers we know, we're kind of odd.  :)

 

 

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People think I'm weird because I actually "want to and enjoy" being around my kiddos. I love homeschooling. I love our life. I love that I can spend time and money on their music lessons, without it totally controlling our day. It's awesome that I can take the kids to the beach one day, I don't feel like homeschooling. ;) We go on road trips and see friends regularly. I check out tons of library books for my kids, and they would dive in for hours and days at a time if I would let them. They think it is wonderful.

 

I am not fazed by ignorant comments of those who don't get homeschooling. They ask the same silly questions we all know. They try to quiz my kids, you know, the normal stuff.

I really don't care what others think because we are so happy and love what we do. Plus, my kids are extremely confident.

Yes, my kids are missing a lot by homeschooling, but they don't mind.

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People think I'm weird because I actually "want to and enjoy" being around my kiddos. I love homeschooling. I love our life. I love that I can spend time and money on their music lessons, without it totally controlling our day. It's awesome that I can take the kids to the beach one day, I don't feel like homeschooling. ;) We go on road trips and see friends regularly. I check out tons of library books for my kids, and they would dive in for hours and days at a time if I would let them. They think it is wonderful.

 

I am not fazed by ignorant comments of those who don't get homeschooling. They ask the same silly questions we all know. They try to quiz my kids, you know, the normal stuff.

I really don't care what others think because we are so happy and love what we do. Plus, my kids are extremely confident.

Yes, my kids are missing a lot by homeschooling, but they don't mind.

 

My kids are among my favorite people.  Odd, but true. 

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I noticed how the rest of the world runs on a different set of interests. Took Ds15 to get his hair cut and the stylist asked him if he was going to the football game that night. Small town, that is what everyone does on Friday noghts. Ds just smiled and shook his head. Then I heard the other ladies talking about the fundraisers and what all was being sold this year.

 

When dss14 comes to visit he often has something for us to buy. Gets really old.

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This quote turned up in my FB feed. The comments say it all when it comes to people's ideas about bullying.

 

For those that don't want to see FB, here's the quote all by itself. 

 

"It's not our job to toughen our children to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless." - L.R. Knost

 

 

Some of the comments say it all.  Sad.

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Don't you all think that the "oh, you are good enough to homeschool, it's all the OTHER people who do" line is more of a CYA move by someone who actually thinks nobody should do it, but they are talking to you, so they are blunting the idea for social purposes?

 

When people say things like that to me, my sense is that they have a preconceived notion of what homeschoolers are like, and I don't fit the mental picture they've built, so I must be the exception.

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Yep, someone once told me that they were worried about my child not being forced to deal with peer pressure and bullies.  :confused1:  Okay, then, I'll be sure to bully her a bit every day to toughen her up. 

 

This t-shirt cracks me up, but I don't think I'd have the nerve to wear it.

 

 

I have that shirt and I wear it proudly.

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I don't think it's the case where we live. There are so many different educational choices around here, pretty much everyone is deciding what fits their family. Public school, private, charters almost every mile, homeschoolers, a public school for homeschoolers where you choose to go once a week, twice or more if you'd like (our kids go once a week), parochial schools, and the last one I heard of...a charter school where the kids go 3 days a week and homeschool twice (the school provides the curriculum). Anyway, there are SO many options! So no, we don't feel like odd ducks...everyone kind of does their own thing and so do we :)

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I have a theory on this.   People's mind will bend to match what they do.  Those that would send their child to public school, even if the child was being bullied and even if they could homeschool if they wanted, they have to justify it in their minds.  So either they horrible people and parents for sending their kid into danger, or being bullied is good for kids.  Admitting to yourself that you are a poophead is unthinkable, so therefore being bullied must be good.  

 

 

There's a psych term for this. It's called cognitive dissonance. You warp your reality/choices in your mind enough that even if the circumstances of the decision are negative, your mind wants desperately to justify this poor decision so you can believe yourself 'in the right'. It's fascinating stuff if you dig deeply enough into it. I digress....

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