Are homeschoolers just odd ducks?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I do not know what I'd do without this board.  I do have fairly regular contact with local homeschoolers and that helps too.  But people in general, they just don't get homeschooling.  And I guess because my life is so different, there are other things that are so different.  I was talking to someone about an issue I'm having and they recommended a particular actor/celebrity to look to as a role model.  This is something with my kid.  I thought, why would I look to a celebrity as a role model?  It's part of the "package" that they put on an act.  How is that something to emulate in general?  I asked.  They said teens look to them as role models.  My kid doesn't even watch TV.  Once in awhile he watches old Star Trek episodes on Prime.  That's it.  And that is his choice because I don't limit TV, movies, etc.  So apparently he is an odd duck too.

 

When I talk to non homeschoolers they sometimes act like I'm some kind of unibomber.  When I talk to homeschoolers, they get me and don't act like I'm doing anything odd.

 

I dunno.  Really why do so many people lack imagination?  Why do they think everyone must live the same exact sort of life?

 

Just rambling.  Do any of you ever feel this way?  Even the new therapist.  She has been helpful, but the comments are creeping in.  I think she respects that I do it, but she thinks it's kinda weird.  Me thinks I'll be done talking to her soon. 

 

*sigh* 

 

 

[Excelsior! Academy]

Yes!  Thankfully, we have a great homeschooling community and live in a state where it is easy to homeschool.  That in itself confuses people.  My own, dear, sweet step-mother asked me where I will get dd's  transcript.  When I replied, "Microsoft Excel," she looked at me like  :confused1: .  If I ever say anything to my mom about homeschooling, she tells me to call the hotline.  You know the one, the homeschool hotline.

[hjffkj]

I think it is simply people not understanding what they aren't exposed to for the most part.

[G5052]

I guess I'm a maverick at heart because it stopped bothering me after awhile. I don't think I fit neatly anywhere, and I don't mind. I know that I'm doing the right thing by my kids, and that's that  :glare: .

[Lang Syne Boardie]

"like I'm some kind of unibomber" LOL! :grouphug:

 

Everybody thinks my family is the best-homeschooling-family-ever-but-most-hs'ers-suck (not knowing that every single family represented on this forum has heard the same -- who are these sucky hs'ers all our friends know, and what makes us different?)....but people still think we're weird. They think we have to homeschool because of how odd we are, which is probably not far from the truth.

 

But if their children are suffering from regressed skills, clinically diagnosed anxiety, bullying, academic failure, or any of that at school, will they even consider homeschooling? Noooooo. Maybe for 10 seconds because of a hs'er standing nearby, but THEIR kids are not going to be weird.

 

It's so stupid. People are like cattle, just point out the chute and they're in.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

[Meriwether]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

:huh:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  Oh my goodness!

[T'smom]

I mostly get "oh, I could never do that".

 

But the celebrity thing reminded me of something. I was in the doctor's office the other day and there was a sign about how Taylor Swift wants you to get the HPV vaccine because "cancer sucks and warts are gross". Now, I'm not against the vaccine, but why would I (or anyone) take Taylor Swift's medical advice?!?!

[LucyStoner]

My kids are odd ducks. But, especially with my older son, that is WHY he is homeschooled, not because he is homeschooled, lol.

[myfunnybunch]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

 

:blink:

 

Crumb. Reading? In English? I knew I forgot something. Doh.

[Meriwether]

A highschool classmate of my sister is considering homeschool. My sister asked me to send her an email. I did, but I tried hard not to make us sound weird while doing it. We still haven't decided what grade my oldest is in. Most homeschoolers accept that at face value. I decided not to mention it, though, because how *weird* is that if you don't homeschool.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

 

:huh:

 

uhh that's a weird comment.  I get accused of reading too much. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I mostly get "oh, I could never do that".

 

 

And that.

I feel like saying, yeah you are probably right, you have to be smart.  Not everyone is smart. 

 

LOL

[Lang Syne Boardie]

My kids are odd ducks. But, especially with my older son, that is WHY he is homeschooled, not because he is homeschooled, lol.

 

Exactly.

 

The last time someone said something about my youngest son being quirky because of hs'ing (they meant it as a compliment) I said they were quite wrong.

 

He's isn't quirky because he's homeschooled. He's quirky b/c he's a Lastname and we're all quirky.

He's HAPPY because he's homeschooled.

 

And that makes all the difference.

[myfunnybunch]

Sparkly, our marriage counselor seems to think that homeschooling means that I am trying to be some kind of SUPER-MOM! But the weird kind. I just ignore her because the other stuff she says is pretty valuable.

 

Most other people I encounter don't have a problem with homeschooling, but I sometimes get the same response that Tibby wrote about: I'm the "right" kind of homeschooler. All the other ones are strange or don't know what they're doing. :001_rolleyes: Obviously, they haven't met enough homeschoolers.

[Annie Elle]

Yes, sometimes I feel like we are odd ducks. We are the only family in our large church that homeschools, plus two of my children do not share the same race as my husband and I. So we definitely stand out. We are fortunate to be a part of a very supportive homeschool group and that is a blessing, but I am one of a very few moms that also works. Recently I was talking with some other homeschool moms I had just met and mentioned that I work as a hospice nurse. That grounded the conversation to a halt and they stared at me with slightly horrified expressions. Oh yes, I felt like an odd duck then. And then of course, I'm the only homeschooler at my job. I'm not fully in the sahm tract nor in the career mom tract. Sometimes I feel like I'm straddling two worlds.

 

Being an odd duck is nothing new to me. To be honest, I have plenty of elementary and middle school pictures that should be on those awkward pictures websites, lol. Personally, I am comfortable with the choices I have made in my life and for my family. And if that makes people see us as odd ducks, I am fine with that.

[Critterfixer]

 It's not odd to be a duck. Just odd to be a duck in a flock of chickens. :laugh:

(Happily wallowing in the duckishness.)

[SparklyUnicorn]

I haven't felt bothered until fairly recently.  I do think the comments are getting to me.  I am trying to figure out how to respond or if I just let that roll off. 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Sparkly, our marriage counselor seems to think that homeschooling means that I am trying to be some kind of SUPER-MOM! But the weird kind. I just ignore her because the other stuff she says is pretty valuable.

 

Most other people I encounter don't have a problem with homeschooling, but I sometimes get the same response that Tibby wrote about: I'm the "right" kind of homeschooler. All the other ones are strange or don't know what they're doing. :001_rolleyes: Obviously, they haven't met enough homeschoolers.

 

Yep I get that attitude too.  The therapist tried to tell me I'd get all kinds of support from the school.  Yeah bull crap.

[happi duck]

I've always been an odd (& happi) duck!

 

Most people I talk to don't understand homeschooling. Homeschoolers I know don't understand what I believe or my teaching style/philosophy.

 

I don't feel like I fit in anywhere...I thought I'd find my niche with homeschooling or church...but.no.

 

Odd ducks unite!

[Miss Tick]

Why do people think celebrities are role models??? That just makes sense to me.

 

When I talk to non-homeschoolers I have to be careful to quell my joking. Somebody asked if I have them do school work on weekends and my laughing "I wish!" was met with a horrified gasp. Whoops! Just kidding! Obviously should have gone the serious response route. One more Facebook "crazy homeschooler" anecdote born.

[Annie Elle]

I mostly get "oh, I could never do that.

 

 

I get this a lot, too. Mostly from public school teachers. Then they add, "I couldn't stand to be around my kids all day." This is so sad to me. Personally, I enjoy my kids and couldn't stand being around other people's kids all day. I guess that makes me an odd duck too. Lol

[elegantlion]

We were always odd, ds was doomed before birth. Homeschooling allowed to be ourselves. 

 

 

Ds has a much greater sense of self worth at 17 than I have at 48. Seriously, I still struggle with it, especially being back in a school environment. 

 

I do think homeschooling allows kids to explore themselves in a safe environment before being jettisoned into  the world. I'm not talking about isolation and socialization. I'm talking about being able to wear plaids and stripes together if so desired, dying your hair blue, wearing pjs all day, having long hair for guys. There are so many rules on attire at our high school, it's a wonder some kids find ways to express themselves. I love that part of college, you see it all. My campus is very casual and I love seeing the diversity in fashion alone. 

[WinsomeCreek]

I've stepped into a few different subcultures over the years. My takeaway is that people are weird. We tend to like people who are weird like us.😄

 

Seriously, I'm happy to report that I have heard very few odd or negative Homeschool comments over the years. Mine are now all in PS. They tell me some of the kids are a little weird.

[lllll]

nm

[73349]

Don't forget, Sparkly, that hsing is a much more ordinary choice in some places than where you are. (Here, it's as common as private school, with thousands of families around here choosing it.)

 

Now, DH and I are odd ducks who went to PS all the way through, and DS is a bit of an odd duck because he takes after us. If someone were to suggest that DS is quirky because of hsing, I think my answer would be to the effect that she should meet my husband.

Edited July 9, 2022 by 73349

[Junie]

I used to teach at our church's Christian school.  People have asked me why I don't teach and why I don't put my kids in the school.

 

If I put my kids in school, I would have to work to pay for it.  Therefore, I would teach.  I see no sense in teaching other people's kids so that I can pay other people to teach mine.

 

ETA:  I like taking care of my own kids and giving them the best education that I can.  I really don't want to be taking care of someone else's kids all day.

 

Sad commentary on society that that mentality is considered odd, but there it is.  

 

When we had that thread on homeschool mottoes a while back, I adopted "Embrace the Weirdness".

[EmseB]

I learned this a long time ago, and it wasn't said in relation to homeschooling, but in response to "I could never do that" or other similar sentiments someone suggested, "Yup, it's a commitment."

 

To me, it's not (too?) snarky, but it also conveys that I'm not some superwoman weirdo, but just someone who has committed to different choices. It also suggests hard work and dedication without implying the other person is a slack ass. Just that I've chosen to direct my energies to a different sort of thing.

[hjffkj]

Shoot even among most of the home schoolers I know, and I know many, I'm the odd duck because I home school for academic reasons not religious. I'm also odd because I don't want school desks for my kids, their hand me down Abeka stuff, or to join their co-op. If I did have my huge family's support and understanding I would likely be quite lonely irl in regards to schooling choice

[shawthorne44]

I'll never forget the day when DH were still in early dating.  I think i was still seeing other people.  His mother said to me in that warning tone you'd use to disclose a serious defect, 'He has always marched to his own drummer."   I brightened up and said, 'Really?  That is wonderful news and so rare."  

 

I do think that you have to be willing to consider doing the non-standard thing to homeschool.  That means odd ducks will be more likely to say yes to homeschooling. Whereas the more cattle-like personalities will stick with the local public school even when it is completely not working and they could homeschool.  

[brehon]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

<slaps forehead> Crud! I *knew* I forgot something.

 

<brehon scrambles off to add practicing English to the schedule>

 

Math wasn't specifically mentioned, I see. Can I bump that for this English remembering & reading thing?

[Spryte]

Quack, quack.

 

 

 

Funny thing here is that my aunt and uncle are on some kind of committee for a major, very sought after and exclusive university.  They interview applicants and advise the admissions board (sorry, I don't recall the name of what they do)... They started out wondering about homeschoolers.  Now they adore seeing them apply.  Homeschoolers are more well-rounded, motivated, yadayadayada.  It's been interesting to see their turnaround, and they are now very vocal supporters.  But, yeh, other than them... even our families think we're odd ducks here.

[myfunnybunch]

<slaps forehead> Crud! I *knew* I forgot something.

 

<brehon scrambles off to add practicing English to the schedule>

 

Math wasn't specifically mentioned, I see. Can I bump that for this English remembering & reading thing?

 

You forgot too? Well, there goes our Weirdo Superwoman status.

 

Now we're just weirdos. Sigh....

 

Wait. You're teaching math? Overachiever.

[Doodlebug]

I never considered homeschooling a "brave" choice until recently.  

 

My DS is an adorable, brutally honest, cat loving, quirk-meister, who still prefers to hold my hand in public (he's 9-1/2).

 

It's exhausting putting one's self out there, to find that you kinda sorta fit, but not really.  I remember the easy going days of showing up at playground and instantly having a dozen homeschooling parents around me, affirming my choice.  That relief isn't so easy to find now, and really, I shouldn't *need* it as much as I do.  Working on that... because I know what we're doing is working for us.  

 

:grouphug:  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[texasmama]

My therapist homeschooled.   :D  (Her kids are grown.)

 

I think they understand you about as well as they understand the unibomber and why he would do what he did.

 

We live in a terrible school district, which seems to help people understand why I don't use the public school.

 

Put me in the category of "we homeschool BECAUSE of differences, not that it resulted in differences".

 

The unibomber.  hehehe

 

 

 

 

[texasmama]

 

We get it both ways don't we. If you try to share your homeschooling experience with anyone, you are showing off or are trying to be super-mom. If you don't, people think you're isolated, not doing anything or one of those homeschoolers. 

 

I used to keep my FB homeschool free. Then I realized that homeschooling is a big part of my life and I'm leaving it out why exactly?

 

Last year I got hardly any likes on my back to homeschool pics so this year I posted pics of my cats sitting in the dog crate (of their own volition) and called it our "back to school" pic.  People came out of the woodwork to comment and like it.  I guess it was funny.

[sassenach]

I'm realizing that people really, really think they need to be told what to do. Especially in parenting. They literally don't understand the concept of autonomy. That baseline understanding of what is possible in life really changes how one sees a lot of things.

[Guest]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

Seriously? Wow. That's impressively insulting of them.

[Chelli]

Conversation today with my dd11's podiatrist at dd's post-op visit:

Dr.: How are you doing at school? Any problems with your crutches?

 

Grace: I'm homeschooled.

 

Dr.: (looks at me in astonishment) You homeschool all three of them?!? How does that work?!?

 

Me: Well, you just do it.

 

Dr.: Wow.

 

I thought it was kind of funny. People usually greet the fact that we homeschool with amazement and then look at me with compassion like I'm locked up all day with my kids and never get out.

 

I know I'm an odd duck. I can fake being normal for a while when necessary, but normal is not fun. My kids are odd. My dh and I are odd. We have a strange sense of humor. The biggest homeschooling compliment I ever received was from a teenager in our youth group who told me that she was jealous that my kids weren't afraid to be who they are and that she wished she could have been like that. I love that I'm raising kids who are comfortable in their own skin. It took me into my 20's to figure that one out.

[Guest]

I kind of think I have always been a bit weird, but I own it. The only way to be outstanding is to stand out.

[ScoutTN]

It's not odd to be a duck. Just odd to be a duck in a flock of chickens. :laugh:

(Happily wallowing in the duckishness.)

Yes!

[elegantlion]

I will caution you all about college. Ds has now attended for two days. His biggest complaint (besides the getting up early thing) is that there is a lot of walking. So, before college you might want to strap a twenty-pound backpack onto your child and make them march around the block a time or two. I overheard one girl mentioned she weighed her backpack when full and it was 15 pounds. 

[Guest]

My therapist homeschooled. :D (Her kids are grown.)

 

I think they understand you about as well as they understand the unibomber and why he would do what he did.

 

We live in a terrible school district, which seems to help people understand why I don't use the public school.

 

Put me in the category of "we homeschool BECAUSE of differences, not that it resulted in differences".

 

The unibomber. hehehe

Believe me, the bolded helps your case. When I first started hsing, I was in one of the most coveted districts in the country. Boy did I get some baffled comments.

[Mimm]

In my area, homeschooling is really common and no, I don't get people treating me like we're weird for homeschooling. My oldest is in public school and gets a lot of, "You were homeschooled? So lucky!" She's not the only ex-homeschooler she knows at her school.

 

However... we don't get out (of our social bubble) much. Most of the people we see and spend time with are homeschoolers. The ones we see who aren't homeschoolers are people who deal with homeschoolers a lot. Churches with lots of homeschoolers, piano teachers who teach a lot of homeschoolers, etc.

 

[Kerileanne99]

Yes! Thankfully, we have a great homeschooling community and live in a state where it is easy to homeschool. That in itself confuses people. My own, dear, sweet step-mother asked me where I will get dd's transcript. When I replied, "Microsoft Excel," she looked at me like :confused1: . If I ever say anything to my mom about homeschooling, she tells me to call the hotline. You know the one, the homeschool hotline.

Would that be 1-800-edu-mac8?

[Guest]

I will caution you all about college. Ds has now attended for two days. His biggest complaint (besides the getting up early thing) is that there is a lot of walking. So, before college you might want to strap a twenty-pound backpack onto your child and make them march around the block a time or two. I overheard one girl mentioned she weighed her backpack when full and it was 15 pounds.

That's it?! My purse is about twelve pounds alone :rofl:

[Miss Tick]

It's not odd to be a duck. Just odd to be a duck in a flock of chickens. :laugh:

(Happily wallowing in the duckishness.)

 

...or sheep.

[Catwoman]

I have found that the best way to avoid the unflattering comments about homeschooling is to speak very authoritatively and firmly (with a big smile) from the very first time a person asks about it.

 

One of my friends has had a hard time dealing with people saying mean and hurtful things to her about hsing, but she is a very sweet and soft-spoken person and I think people view that as a weakness they can use against her. The interesting thing is that some of the same people who make the snarky comments to her have never said anything negative to me. My friend swears it's because I seem more confident than she does, so people don't want to mess with me. I am certainly no smarter than my friend and she is probably a far more patient teacher than I am, so I really think it's all in the way we present ourselves to others. Her mom raised her to be sweet and respectful and to try to never offend anyone. My mom raised me to be The One in Charge, and I think it makes a huge difference in the amount of respect we receive from other people.

 

So I think we can all be odd ducks, if we own it and don't apologize for it.

 

Be proud and stand tall, my fellow odd ducks!!! :D

[The Girls' Mom]

Someone told me recently that it's important for homeschoolers to read some, and to not forget English, so they can go to college.

 

Thank you. I'll get started on all of that right now.

 

What do they think we do all day?

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  Oh...thanks for the laugh.

 

I can let the kids go back to basement lurking and nose picking now.

[MercyA]

Absolutely. I had someone tell me kids need group environments — specifically group environments in which some people hate them — to self-actualize. What?!

 

Yep, someone once told me that they were worried about my child not being forced to deal with peer pressure and bullies.  :confused1:  Okay, then, I'll be sure to bully her a bit every day to toughen her up. 

 

This t-shirt cracks me up, but I don't think I'd have the nerve to wear it.