homeschooling preschool and kindergarten angst

[EmilyGF]

Hi ladies,

 

I live in an area that is highly academic and has few homeschoolers. I've actually had mothers ask me whether not sending their 3-year-old to preschool will hurt them. :-(

 

I'm working on putting together an hour-long "Preschool and K at home: building a foundation for a lifelong love of learning" seminar (please critique title).

 

Could you help me out? What topics would you want to see covered if you were beginning? What would you be worried about? 

 

What have you learned that you would want to pass on? (I know I have a lot of things I wish I'd known when I had started...)

 

I'll post my outline later. I don't want to set the direction of this conversation.

 

Emily

 

ETA: Update in #32 with how the seminar went.

[EmilyGF]

Karen,

I think most of the pressure the people around me feel is peer pressure. Sigh. But I'm not sure. That is a good point!

Emily

[73349]

I'd want to make sure they heard...

- One benefit of having your child at home is having time to answer those four hundred questions a day, rather than dividing your attention among twenty-five kids. Don't hurry through things. :) Enjoy exploring.

- Don't expect to spend an extended period of time on academics. A five-minute lesson at the just-right level of challenge in math or phonics can be very effective. Spending your extra time watching ants on the sidewalk or building marble ramps is very educational also; it doesn't all need to be paper-based.

- You don't have to buy a boxed curriculum--and especially if your child doesn't love to color, you should screen materials carefully. I've found that preK and kindy materials often presume learning by coloring.

 

Definitely cover your state law, and share your cool local resources (groups, field trips, library programs, etc.).

[Mrs. A]

Some things I'd want to pass on:

 

*Waiting a bit longer to start any kind of school is ok. A child who starts K level things at age 6 will be just as ok as the one who started at 4 (maybe even better off for having had those extra 2 pressure-free years, but it's all so very INDIVIDUAL. Each mother knows her own child best and is the best person to decide whether he is ready). 

 

*Actual school work =/= sitting at a desk. Movement and interaction are good things, even when learning how to read and write! 

 

*a child can comprehend way beyond his reading ability. So read aloud often and read books that have beautiful language. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[HomeAgain]

I'd stress foundation skills.  So many parents want to jump right into reading, writing, and math that they forget that a child NEEDS to touch, explore, develop rhythm, pattern recognition, fine and gross motor skills, be exposed to nature for long periods, understand seasons and rituals that go with, be able to expect and predict what will happen next, to act out familiar scenes and change elements, to understand how things work and their own world...

 

There is so much out there that panders to the Three R's and forget all the basic childhood skills that will carry them through to more abstract learning.  I'd include bits about how when a child is ready, they learn more quickly and there is no need to forgo that time for real learning to diligently memorize the alphabet.

[8filltheheart]

If you can access databases through your library, search for the terms cognitive development and dramatic play.  Research shows that dramatic play (using their imaginations) aids the development of divergent thinking skills.

 

Here are a couple of non-journal articles:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201203/the-need-pretend-play-in-child-development

http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v4n1/bergen.html

 

One of my number one objectives for my younger children is self-entertainment through dramatic play.  :)

[Farrar]

It's like that in my area too, Emily. We had a bunch of little neighborhood friends that met up at parks and so forth. The summer *before* (it was after for a few, but soon after) they all turned three, we didn't see any of them again. Everyone met and said, okay, well, bye, maybe we'll see you, maybe not, and that was it. Everyone went to preschool. And we had a sudden realization that there were no kids older than 3 routinely at the parks during the day. It was such a sad thing! We thought we had time to find other kids who were planning to homeschool and let our kids build friendships with neighborhood kids... but nope.

 

That's part of why I get annoyed when people get picky about calling it "preschool homeschooling." When you're in an area with this much peer pressure to send your kids to school and where you likely won't be able to find daytime playmates for your kids without a specific group, then I think you have to call it *something* and that's the easiest choice, IMO.

 

Because of that, I would address the inevitable social concerns. For us, preschool was a social golden time for meeting other homeschoolers and building bonds - there was no academic work to be done and making a fun thing for a group to do was soooo extra easy. If you want to do an educational nature time for older kids, you have to know things and plan things. But for 4 yos? You just take them outside and your level of knowledge is automatically amazing compared to them. Want to do dance for 3 yos? You don't need to know how to dance, just how to make a playlist and who to ask to bring the play scarves. And you do that stuff and the other mommies love you. You also just can spend a lot of time at the park, by the nature center, etc. because there aren't any academics really. But I think people need to know that if you want your kids to have friends beyond the kids they happen to see - if they don't have neighborhood friends who are outside - then it takes a little extra work from the parents to put themselves out there too.

 

I agree with emphasizing all those non-academic elements and telling everyone to slow down on the reading and writing stuff. I think your title is great.

[Bluegoat]

THis seems fairly common here as well.  I didn't realize quite how common until I was trying to register my son for a pre-school dance class, and there was nothing in the day at all.  All the kids are in pre-school.

 

As far as your presentation - I think a lot of people are honestly terrified that if they don't start early with kids in school, they will be behind.  While studies on the brain might help, I think the best thing is to show that there are successful school systems that do not have academic pre-schools or K classes.  You might also talk about the long-term downsides of academics for kids who are not ready.

 

It would also be worthwhile IMO to say something more specifically about socialization - even parents who aren't worried about academics seem to sometimes feel that their children will be anti-social if they are not in a class setting.

 

If it were my seminar, I think one of the things I would emphasize is that children need to build up a body of experience before they begin to move to a primarily abstract approach to learning - when you are three or four, going to ponds and looking at frogs is much more important than reading about frogs or watching movies about them.

[Arcadia]

I think most of the pressure the people around me feel is peer pressure.

Parents in my area face a lot of self doubt, parental pressure of making decisions that would cause their kids to lose out.

It is hard to fight that kind of pressure.

 

I pulled my oldest from a 2 day per week preschool because he was bored. My youngest didn't go to preschool. I had many asking what curriculum I used and wanting to "afterschool" with the same materials. They want their kids to be able to read simple readers, write the alphabet, add and subtract before K.

 

ETA:

Socialization isn't an issue though. Neighborhood kids were in gym since tumble tots, little kids soccer, music classes, kumon, foreign language classes etc since 3 years old. So sending their kids to preschool wasn't for socialization purposes.

[EmilyGF]

Wow, I knew the Hive would have great input! 

 

8 - I'm looking through the literature. Thanks for pointing me to those articles.

 

Farrar - good point about why calling it "homeschooling preschool" is useful. 

 

Bluegoat - I have some research articles on how early academics aren't actually adding value, but comparing to other countries is a great point

 

Emily

[8filltheheart]

.  You might also talk about the long-term downsides of academics for kids who are not ready.

 

This conversation has been taking place since back in my college days (one of the reasons why I have taken such a strong position with my own children.)

 

Here are some of the discussions occurring outside of the politically correct view of pre-school ed....

 

http://seenmagazine.us/articles/article-detail/articleid/3238/reading-at-five-why.aspx(for some reason I cannot break my quote up into paragraphs, so I am using different colors.)

 

For 40 years I have searched without success for studies that support the notion that reading at five is a helpful step for long-term success in school. A recent doctoral thesis confirmed the absence of such evidence. Sebastian Suggate, studying in New Zealand, did an extensive search for quantitative, controlled studies that showed long-term gains for children who learned to read at five compared to those who learned at six or seven. He found one methodologically weak study from 1974 but could find no others. Thus, a major shift in American education has taken place without any evidence to support it. Nor have NAEP scores — Department of Education tests that are often called the nation’s report card — over the past 20 years increased enough to indicate that we are making strong gains....Many experts in child development are very concerned about the current approaches. For example, Stephen Hinshaw at the University of California at Berkeley, an expert in hyperactive disorders, spoke of the need for a broad-based kindergarten approach. He was quoted in Time magazine in 2003, saying, “Even more vital than early reading is the learning of play skills, which form the foundation of cognitive skills.† ..... standards were designed to help graduates be prepared for college and the workforce, but they make it very difficult for early childhood teachers to foster creativity, curiosity, and imagination, qualities much prized by the workforce. An IBM study of 1500 CEOs worldwide, for instance, found that the quality they most prized in their employees was creativity. Yet a study of creativity by Kyung Hee Kim at William and Mary College found that creativity levels in this country had begun to drop in 1990 after several decades of rising. She found the problem was especially great among children in K-5. Business schools have turned to her asking for help in developing creative thinking in college students, which is ironical when we are inadvertently — or even systematically — diminishing it in young children....  

Here is another article discussing some of these issues:  http://www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2007/10/28/rush_little_baby/?page=full

A classic study in the 1930s by noted researcher and Illinois educator Carleton Washburne compared the trajectories of children who had begun reading at several ages, up to 7. Washburne concluded that, in general, a child could best learn to read beginning around the age of 6. By middle school, he found no appreciable difference in reading levels between the kids who had started young versus the kids who had started later, except the earlier readers appeared to be less motivated and less excited about reading. More recent research also raises doubt about the push for early readers. A cross-cultural study of European children published in 2003 in the British Journal of Psychology found those taught to read at age 5 had more reading problems than those who were taught at age 7. The findings supported a 1997 report critical of Britain's early-reading model.                                                                      What might explain this? In her fascinating new book Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain, Maryanne Wolf offers some answers. True reading requires the integration of complicated functions from different regions of the brain - visual, auditory, linguistic, conceptual - a process that takes time. The speed with which these regions can be integrated depends on something called myelination, in which the tails (or axons) of neurons in the brain are wrapped in a fatty sheathing that makes them perform better. For these regions of the brain to interact efficiently, they need one neuron to talk to another neuron in rapid succession. And to do that well, those neuron tails need lots of myelin. Myelination rates can vary, but Wolf says generally these pivotal regions aren't fully myelinated until sometime between the ages of 5 and 7, with boys probably being on the later side. ....                   "There is a really good reason why, across the world, literacy training is not begun until 5 to 7," Wolf says. "Some countries, such as Austria, don't want children taught reading until 7." For what it's worth, that's the same Austria with a per-capita Nobel-laureate rate many times higher than that of Japan, the land that spawned Junior Kumon.

[8filltheheart]

I was having serious issues with my being able to type and not quote.  My post lost some of my commentary, but I don't have time to go back and re-type it now.  Hopefully those are a starting point.

[EmilyGF]

That's great!

Here's the topics I have written to cover, still somewhat disorganized and stream-of-consciousness:

 

1) Reading 

I know that as a beginning homeschooler I felt like I was supposed to prove myself by getting my kids reading early. I think others feel that pressure. I'll cover the research on early reading (no long term value) but also talk about how to slowly introduce reading when your kid is ready. I like SWB's try for a bit and then take a few months off if it doesn't come easily before trying again.

 

2) Play (because it does have value)

Research on play

Supporting play at home (especially when that 3-year-old is your oldest

 

3) Being outdoors

Gaining experience with real things as foundation of future literacy (for people for whom everything has to have a reason)

Kids can learn to play without constant adult interaction 

 

4) Math

If you want to (and I did) - how to approach in a concrete, play-centered, time-limited way

 

5) Promoting oral language development

My oldest was in speech therapy for two years, so I was systematically taught how to foster conversation. Since good conversations are something parents can do SO MUCH BETTER than preschool teachers, this is a strength parents should build on. This isn't lessons, this is encouraging a wide use of language in your everyday life

Oral story telling

 

6) Worldwide - what is "normal" for early childhood education

 

7) Preschool crafts that take your child longer than they take you to set up

I hate it when I spent 20 minutes preparing an activity that it took my kid 2 minutes to do

 

8) Reading aloud to your child

The value of picture books (examples of language used in picture books vs. TV)

Why saying "my kid is already reading chapter books!" really doesn't say that much (example of language in common picture books vs. early chapter books)

How to foster literacy while you read (or, you don't need a smart board if you don't have 30 kids in your class)

 

9) Poems and songs throughout the day

 

10) Resources

 

Emily

 

[Arcadia]

 

 

8) Reading aloud to your child

The value of picture books (examples of language used in picture books vs. TV)

Why saying "my kid is already reading chapter books!" really doesn't say that much (example of language in common picture books vs. early chapter books)

How to foster literacy while you read (or, you don't need a smart board if you don't have 30 kids in your class)

 

 

The author of the Read Aloud handbook has free brochures on his webpage

http://trelease-on-reading.com/brochures.html

 

 Also audiobooks​ are great for parents like me who just doesn't like to read aloud as well as my dad (ESL) who worry about pronunciation issues.

 

Good luck​ with your seminar.

​

[purpleowl]

Are you talking to moms who want to keep their kids home for preschool & K and then put their kids in b&m schools?  Or to moms who plan to homeschool even after K?  Or both?

 

If you're talking to moms who are planning to continue in homeschooling, I think one thing to do would be to encourage them to learn about different philosophies of and approaches to homeschooling as a whole.  Figuring out what kind of homeschoolers they want to be - even if it's an eclectic mix of things they like from different approaches - can help them determine what they can do now to move toward those goals.  It's the idea of beginning with the end in mind.

 

I would also say to maybe show some examples of first, second, third grade curricula.  This is where kids are going after K.  This is what you're preparing them to be ready to learn (perhaps emphasizing that it's NOT what you have to teach them right now).

 

If the moms are (or include) those who are planning to send their kids to b&m schools for 1st grade, maybe try to include some examples from whatever the public schools in your area use, in addition to (or instead of) a couple different homeschool curriculum providers.

 

I don't know if that's helpful at all, or if others would even agree with me.  But in addition to the nitty-gritty of "do this, don't do that," I'd encourage you to encourage these other moms to think about the big picture and what their goals are.  

 

Oh, also - point out that you teach the kids you have, and respond to their needs.  Your kids may not need the same thing as your neighbor's kids.  In fact, your first kid may not even need the same thing as your second kid!  You can do what's in the best interests of your particular children - and that's one HUGE advantage of homeschooling.

[BooksandBoys]

It's like that in my area too, Emily. We had a bunch of little neighborhood friends that met up at parks and so forth. The summer *before* (it was after for a few, but soon after) they all turned three, we didn't see any of them again. Everyone met and said, okay, well, bye, maybe we'll see you, maybe not, and that was it. Everyone went to preschool. And we had a sudden realization that there were no kids older than 3 routinely at the parks during the day. It was such a sad thing! We thought we had time to find other kids who were planning to homeschool and let our kids build friendships with neighborhood kids... but nope.

 

That's part of why I get annoyed when people get picky about calling it "preschool homeschooling." When you're in an area with this much peer pressure to send your kids to school and where you likely won't be able to find daytime playmates for your kids without a specific group, then I think you have to call it *something* and that's the easiest choice, IMO.

I agree with this completely. I live in a highly academic area (think lots of people putting their children in preschool programs at 2). When we moved here, I was homeschooling preschool for my 4 year-old (we're CM, so this means I had a plan for the books we'd read and the field trips we'd take, along with casual math and reading instruction). It took over a year to find friends for him because everyone was in preschools and the homeschool groups wouldn't accept us because we weren't "real homeschoolers." Eventually, we found a group of homeschooling preschoolers that has continued to grow up together (and we let preschoolers in).

 

Addressing this issue in your class is very important, especially if you live in an area like mine.

[HS Mom in NC]

Here’s an old post I wrote addressing it that I include on my new homeschooler packet. I think soon to be homeschooling parents of preschoolers should be researching their options when it comes to educational philosophy so they can be ready to make informed decisions about curriculum when the time comes. I include information about that in my new homeschooler packets too. If anyone else wants one they can PM me.

 

Preschool and Early Elementary Decisions

 

The way to reduce insecurity is to know what your choices are and why you chose one over the others. That means homework up front and taking an active rather than passive role but it spares you the endless shifting sands of blindly accepting recommendations, experimenting with them, and then repeating the process over and over until you finally find something that works. It saves time, money and energy in the long run and creates a more satisfying, cohesive homeschooling experience for you, your spouse and your children.

It also gives you something intelligent to say when people question your decision to homeschool. If you're not able to articulate what you're doing and why you're doing it the way you are, you're going to be very insecure when someone brings up the subject.

Since you're beginning at the beginning, you can take a deep breath and rest easy. These are the early elementary issues that come up. Focus on those first THEN look at curriculum.

I would consider people pushing academics for any child under the age 6 in the same category (assuming their children didn't beg daily to learn academics.)

There are 2 uses of the word preschool:

 

1) the time in a child's life BEFORE a child learns reading, writing, and arithmetic-usually under the age of 6 in our culture

 

2) a time when a child under 6 is learning reading, writing and arithmetic

 

There are different schools of thought on which is best for children in general and for individual children. I suggest any parent starting out familiarize herself with the arguments for and against both and decide for herself what she thinks is best for her family and each of her individual children.

 

How much academics does she want for her kids? What kind of academics? How much exploring their interests? How much creative play? How much free play? How much group play? How much exploring nature? How much physical play?

 

Whether you choose academic preschool or not, I strongly suggest any parent (regardless of how they plan on having their child educated) start a read aloud routine. There are plenty of excellent resources out there for finding quality books at the library and at book sellers. Here are good books to help you find good books:

 

1) Honey for A Child's Heart

 

2) Books the Build Character

 

3) A Thomas Jefferson Education (the book lists for different age groups in the back is excellent)

 

You can also google award winning children's books for book lists. Start with the American Library Association’s website.

 

My husband and I read aloud to our kids from preschool-high school about 2 hours a day (not all in one sitting.) Search this website [The Well Trained Mind Forums] for read aloud information, suggestions, and book recordings. It's one of the most important and neglected aspects of education in America-even among many homeschoolers. There are book recordings for parents who want someone else to help read aloud to their kids and for kids who aren't reading fluently yet but want to be read to constantly.

 

There are a couple of categories for teaching reading.

 

1) Look Say (often mislabeled whole language) which is memorizing each word by how it looks

 

2) Phonics which is memorizing the sound each letter and each letter combination so each word is sounded out enough times until a child memorizes it by sight.

 

Familiarize yourself with both schools of thought and decide for yourself which you want to do and why. The vast majority of homeschoolers choose Phonics. Different Phonics curricula vary to some degree. The most immediate difference is whether the letter names are taught first or only the letter sounds (and the names aren't mentioned.) Ruth Beechick explains why letter sounds first are preferable (both in the short and long term) in her book A Homestart in Reading. Most other phonics approaches choose to do the letter names first. The other huge difference is how many sight words are taught in the Phonics program.

Having a good solid grasp of the two approaches will make you a savvier shopper.

The other big difference is that some phonics programs include spelling along with phonics instruction. Decide if this is important to you or if you’d rather do spelling later after a child is reading fluently.

Different children are ready to learn to read at different ages. My oldest (19 and in college now) learned to read fluently between the ages of 4 and 5. By her 5th birthday she could read any of the books in the house like an adult. My middle child (17 and starting her third year of college now) wasn't ready to learn to read until she was almost 8. We got out the phonics when she was 6, did 2 short 10 minute sessions per day for a couple of weeks. Not much stuck. We put it away for 2-3 months and repeated the process until it did stick. By the time she was 11 she could read fluently like an adult. My youngest (now 10) was ready when she was 6. She is a very strong reader, but not fluent like an adult yet. She'll get there when she gets there because we're voracious readers around here.

 

When it comes to math there are different approaches out there:

 

1) Most people learned to do math in a very symbolic way (counting pictures or on their fingers and adding written out numbers.) This approach emphasizes rote memorization more.

 

2) Others incorporate a concrete representation of what's written on the paper with what are called "manipulatives." Read about why and how they're used and decide if it's for you or not. There are variations in curricula that use manipulatives and some also add in drawing some sort of representation of the thought process going on (putting groups of things together, taking a larger group and making them smaller groups, etc.) First they emphasize the concrete representation until it's mastered, then they focus on memorizing math facts for speed.

 

Decide for yourself which you prefer and why then you won't have to waste your time looking into curriculum that is clearly not a good fit. You can look into the different curricula that do things the way you know you prefer.

 

Writing has different schools of thought, styles and priorities when it comes to the mechanics of writing (handwriting.) Some start earlier and some later because of their views on brain development and the development of fine motor skills. Then you have to decide which style of handwriting you want. What is your goal? Beauty? Legibility? Speed? Easier transitions between print and cursive/italic script?

 

When it comes to writing in the sense of putting ideas on paper in understandable ways, there are two approaches:

 

1) Narration based writing. Children listen to something read, then they put into their own spoken words what they remember. In the early stages a parent writes down what the child said out loud and the child copies it on paper. Later the child does all of it on their own.

 

2) Not narration based. There are lots of different approaches with different techniques and priorities. Some are more formulated than others. Consider the arguments for and against teaching writing according to formulas before you invest a lot of time and money into an approach.

 

Narration is a skill developed over time with practice. Generally speaking, there are two different approaches, Parts to whole and whole to parts. Decide if it's something you want to do. Decide if you want to do it exclusively or in combination other approaches.

 

 

School at home or not?

 

There are roughly to two big categories of homeschoolers:

 

1) People who mimic school with pre-packaged curriculum like institutional schools use. All subjects are segregated, they use grade levels, they use workbooks/textbooks that require the child to fill in the blanks, write short answers to questions at the back of the chapter, answer multiple choice questions, do a test at the end of the week, etc. They tend to have their children doing seat work several hours a day, etc. They usually follow a schedule like the local schools do during the day and throughout the year. This type of person is usually doing a grading system of percentages and letter grades.

 

2) People who don't do school at home. They use other types of materials, they often avoid any sort of grade level mindset at all (most consider it a way to slow children down) and assign different kinds of assignments that require different levels of thinking. They have a tendency to look for approaches and materials that are more customizable and that are more flexible in nature. They tend to prefer what they call "living" or "real" books over workbook/textbooks. They sometimes integrate subjects together. Sometimes they do subjects, like formal logic, not done in most packaged curriculum. They often have multiple children at different developmental levels studying the same core content at the same time, but doing different levels of study and assignments. Some focus more than others on their children's individual interests and build an education around it.

 

What do you think of the typical education in America? (Or wherever you live.) Are you interested in doing the same at home or do you want to do something different? Do you want to do a mix of the two? If you're interested in different, what kinds of different do you want and what kinds don't you want?

 

General Questions

 

What are your priorities for your children's education? What are your goals for them by the time they're done with High School? How structured do you want to be? How hands on? How much flexibility do you want built in? How much of your child's interests do you want to include? How much of their childhood do want them sitting in a seat? How much in the field? What does your spouse say about these things?

 

Having a general idea about these kinds of things makes choosing what to buy and what to do much easier to decide. It also helps you ask better questions when looking into your options.

[Amie]

I'm sorry if this has been mentioned already, but I think you should try to broaden their view of early education in the world.  Maybe as part of your introduction give a brief snapshot of how other regions or countries are doing things.  I don't have the specifics memorized, but point out academically "successful" countries who don't begin formal schooling so young (or go about it in a different way).  Help them take a few steps back and realize there are many more ways of doing things besides whatever the moms at their gym and coffee shop are doing.  That kind of extreme peer pressure seems to come from a too-narrow view of the world.   

[medawyn]

As the mom of a 2.5 year old, I'm already getting side-eyes about the fact that he's not doing any preschool program this year.  (Um, he's two.  And I'm too lazy to potty train just to put him in a classroom for 4 hours a week.  Not to mention that I don't want him to go.)  I host a standing playgroup for 4 other families, and we had to change the day we meet because two of the littles will be heading to twice-a-week preschool in the fall.  The other moms are getting started on preschool applications this fall.  All this to say that I get the pressure parents feel!

 

There's another mom in the group who is making noises about homeschooling for at least preschool, because she looks at her son and thinks he's just not ready.  She asked me what my plans were for preschool (as all these little monkeys were running around the backyard kicking balls), and I basically answered, "This."  She was taken aback at the fact that I'm not really planning anything academic for the preschool years, but I think she was intrigued.

 

However, I've been planning to homeschool since before I was married.  I know lots of homeschool families.  I've been on these boards for a long time.  I've seen how often more experienced moms encourage those of us with littles to relax, incorporate lots of play, read aloud time, and snuggles.  I'm comfortable with my decision.  I'm also not planning on sticking my kids into a competitive Kindergarten environment at age 5.

 

I think it's too easy to tell moms of littles to relax; we don't have the perspective to relax!  Plus, when it feels like everyone is heading to preschool for the perfect academic experience, it's hard to let go and let play.

 

Your outline above is pretty comprehensive, but I would add something about thinking outside the box when it comes to preschool skills.  Life skills really shouldn't be discounted: besides self-care, there's time in the kitchen, laying the foundation for chores, etc.  Executive function skills (I like this resource http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/tools_and_guides/enhancing_and_practicing_executive_function_skills_with_children/), practicing paying attention to a teacher/presenter (docents at museums, story time at the library, local children's theater/musical productions, etc), and hand strength activities are all areas that can be an asset whether or not a child is heading to a formal classroom.

 

I also thoroughly second addressing social needs - mom's as well as child's!  It's often SO EASY to find groups when kids are tiny.  Coffee meets ups, park play dates, play groups all seem to disappear when kids turn three.  And on the flip side, many homeschooling groups don't welcome preschoolers; a thing which I understand from the perspective of organizers, but can still leave us moms of little pretty isolated for a few years.  Tips to navigate this for your area- and just a head's up to be prepared - would be really helpful.

[My3girls]

What I wish I had heard was "What's the hurry?" 

 

They are babies still!  Pre-school, K4 and K5 are not required or even necessary unless your child just really wants to do it.  Read to them, sing to them, take them on field trips, and let them play.  Follow their lead instead of forcing them.  They will learn reading, writing, and arithmetic when they are ready not when the state dictates.  Let learning be a fun family adventure instead of a chore.  Sending my kids to pre-school is one of my largest regrets with not quitting my job and staying home with them being the other.  They were robbed of the joy of learning, and after 3 years of homeschooling, my youngers are just starting to get some of it back.  I don't know if my oldest ever will.  She sees it as a job she has to endure which makes me sad.

[ikslo]

 

- You don't have to buy a boxed curriculum--and especially if your child doesn't love to color, you should screen materials carefully. I've found that preK and kindy materials often presume learning by coloring.

 

 

Oh my, if I could like this 100X.  Everyone suggests coloring, cutting, crafting, as if your child will be a total failure at life if they don't like to cut and color.  There are other things that can develop motor function, you know?  Don't pressure a young kid into meaningless tasks for the sake of "learning."  My DS hated to color, and I never made him.  Day care workers were always worried because he never wanted to join in the "centers."  I flat out told them to leave him alone - if he didn't want to, he didn't have to.  Now at 8 he loves to cut and tape :) create costumes for himself.  He draws. He paints.  But he still hates to color.  Who cares?

[daijobu]

Take a look at those studies that trumpet the benefits of early childhood education.  Keep in mind that these studies include a cross section of American families, including the part of America whose home life and parenting skills may be far from ideal.  For many of these families, yes, pulling the young child out of toxic situation and into a more nurturing environment like an accredited preschool may be a benefit.  

 

But if your own student is being raised in a loving environment with some amount of financial stability, then there's nothing really all that special about preschool that you can't do at home.  Attending preschool does not get you into the college of your choice.  

 

Having said that, I had my kids enrolled in preschool (I began homeschooling at kindergarten) and it was a lovely experience for them and me.  Preschool and all educational options are just that: options.  

[lea_lpz]

Some things I found helpful or would have found helpful as a new homeschool mom with a k & preschool group---

1) community --- could be a homeschool group or other activity where other homeschool families participate---for us it was AHG and a homeschool group

2) samples of a day in homeschool k vs school and why it's shorter and that's ok (this could include a sample of seat work and then less structured learning, playing, family skills, etc)

3) an overview of different homeschool philosophies and recommended resources to learn more

4) a warning to limit our outside of home structured commitments to 2-3 a week; I felt like my kids had to get out everyday for an activity. Now I wish I wouldn't have done that. It added unnecessary stress.

5) studies backing up the importance of free play and unstructured time

6) info about alternatives to academic structured learning in preschool - k and the benefits of allowing more play and exploration in the early years

[dragonflyer]

I would also add a section to focus on lots of time for gross motor activities.  I feel like people talk about fine motor skills as an acceptable preK activity, but somehow swinging, skipping, spinning, rolling, running, and riding/scootering is looked on with suspicion as "just" play. 

Often, children with developmental delays are lacking in enough time spent in gross motor development, and as a previous poster said, running with friends and kicking a ball is a vital preschool activity.

 

[Farrar]

You know... the one danger to me in strongly emphasizing "don't hurry" or "do less" is that I think for someone's first kid, it's soooo hard to hear that message - hard enough that it can be off putting. Emily, I think your outline is good in that it emphasizes things you "should" be doing more than things you shouldn't. I think a lot of parents don't know what to do if they don't do ABC's and the like. So you want to be telling them about reading aloud, gross motor skills, personal care skills, practical skills, etc. etc. because they need to hear what they should be doing.

[EmilyGF]

You know... the one danger to me in strongly emphasizing "don't hurry" or "do less" is that I think for someone's first kid, it's soooo hard to hear that message - hard enough that it can be off putting. Emily, I think your outline is good in that it emphasizes things you "should" be doing more than things you shouldn't. I think a lot of parents don't know what to do if they don't do ABC's and the like. So you want to be telling them about reading aloud, gross motor skills, personal care skills, practical skills, etc. etc. because they need to hear what they should be doing.

Thanks for the reminder, Farrar!

While I really don't think early academics are important (and tend towards the harmful camp), I do think that early academics in a homeschool look so incredibly different than in our neighborhood preschools that I need to talk about them to help parents begin to change their perception of early academics.

 

Emily

[Peaceful Isle]

I don't mind people calling preschool homeschooling. Everyone is different. :)

 

I have learned to enjoy the prek / k time, and not stress. It's so fun to watch your child say the sounds of letters, and color with their fat little fingers. I love how they get excited about mommy reading to them.

 

I wish my kids wouldn't grow up so fast! Whaaaa!

[...................]

One thing I often do is share my story about my life as a preschooler back in 1983. People are amazed that I actually remember my life as a five year old, at home. My mother and I gardened, we visited her lady friends homes where I experienced others houses and lives, and was given different snacks. I was also blessed enough to be included on tractor rides and stuff at one friend who owned a farm. Once a month my mother would take me to this big huge plant and gardening super enter which had a year round green house and I would look and look at all the flowers and little ponds. I baked cookies with her and every day I took a nap on nice clean sheets in my bed. I learned my letters from Sesame Street. Back then mothers didn't cram letters down kids throats at age 3 or 4 or even 5. I remember playing outside for hours and hours when my siblings got home. My sister read Aloud to me all the time. We didn't watch much TV unless there was a blizzard, we pretty much stayed outside. I knew all my neighbors and the people at church and also the post man. I knew about groceries and mail and trash day and baking and a little about cleaning and a lot about gardening.

 

I am ashamed to say I homeschooled preschool with my son and did not give him as great of an experimence as I myself had. I was so bent on books and letters I missed out on exploring as much as we could have done.

[EmilyGF]

Calming Tea,

I'm going to write down my memories later. That is beautiful!

Emily

[arliemaria]

One thing I often do is share my story about my life as a preschooler back in 1983. People are amazed that I actually remember my life as a five year old, at home. My mother and I gardened, we visited her lady friends homes where I experienced others houses and lives, and was given different snacks. I was also blessed enough to be included on tractor rides and stuff at one friend who owned a farm. Once a month my mother would take me to this big huge plant and gardening super enter which had a year round green house and I would look and look at all the flowers and little ponds. I baked cookies with her and every day I took a nap on nice clean sheets in my bed. I learned my letters from Sesame Street. Back then mothers didn't cram letters down kids throats at age 3 or 4 or even 5. I remember playing outside for hours and hours when my siblings got home. My sister read Aloud to me all the time. We didn't watch much TV unless there was a blizzard, we pretty much stayed outside. I knew all my neighbors and the people at church and also the post man. I knew about groceries and mail and trash day and baking and a little about cleaning and a lot about gardening.

 

I am ashamed to say I homeschooled preschool with my son and did not give him as great of an experimence as I myself had. I was so bent on books and letters I missed out on exploring as much as we could have done.

 

Who doesn't love clean sheets?!  So much better than a towel on a classroom floor with 20 other kids nearby.  Another reminder to try to implement quiet time with my 3 yo.

[EmilyGF]

Thanks everyone for your help! I gave my seminar last night and am really happy with how it went. I ended up having to cut out a ton of material because it was waaaay too long, but I think that what I covered was the most important. I had everyone fill out a 3x5 card afterwards, answering something they learned, something they had wished they learned, and something I could improve. It seemed like everyone had a good take-away, and I know how to do it better in the future. As they left, some people asked me to let them know if I was going to be talking again because they wanted to come, so I think that is a positive sign.

 

I didn't think to cover socialization, but that was the main topic of questions! Whoops!

 

:-)

Emily

[lea_lpz]

Glad it went well, Emily!

 

You know what that's funny as a group we didn't think about that. I think it's one of those things you get over once you take the plunge but initially worry about.