Hyacinth Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Boy, 12, "normal" in pretty much every way. A few days ago he mentioned in an offhanded way: "You know what's weird? Even though I know the doors are locked, I go back and check them, like, four times just to make sure." He'll do this with other things, too, for example, checking and re-checking to make sure he has his water bottle or a pen in his backpack. I saw it as uber responsible for a while; now I'm wondering if he's developing some kind of unhealthy anxiety that we should try to address. Am I looking for a problem where there really isn't one? Is this potentially the beginning of something worse? What should I be looking for? Other thoughts? Thanks, Dr. Armchair Hive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I would pay attention and talk to your ped. Possibly ocd. Re: obsessive compulsive disorder Dd's BFF has ocd. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 It doesn't sound extreme at the moment, but a possible sign of something. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I would be concerned. The fact that he mentioned it makes me believe he thinks there's a problem. Adolescence is a very common time for these things to show up. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Could be any of the three. I'd keep an eye on him, and watch for signs that he's anxious and obsessing about stuff. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 How long has this been happening? Is it interrupting his ability to function? (can't go to sleep without checking, gets out mid-shower to check) Is he able to choose not to check, even though he recognizes that he wants to? How does he behave if he can't check? If there is no major increase in behaviors and he is able to stop himself from checking without discomfort, then I'd say he is fine. Hormones do some wacky things to kids' anxiety levels. I'd expect it to naturally decrease on its own. If, on the other hand, the problem seems to be increasing in frequency or discomfort, then I'd have him evaluated sooner rather than later. You don't want him to get into a bad pattern. Habits can be hard to break. Anxiety is tricky. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 My DD has anxiety, and likely OCD. She started doing stuff like this when she was quite young. I never interfered with her life at all, so I wasn't concerned and neither was her doctor. However, in the last year it has become an issue. She has started to have panic attacks when things aren't "right". She is in therapy and is seeing a doctor on Monday about possible medication. My youngest has been diagnosed with OCD, but his exhibits in a different way. I would mention it to his doctor, but unless it become an obsession or something he feels he must do, I wouldn't worry too much. I would however keep an eye on it so see if the behaviors start to increase or start to interfere with his ability to enjoy life. I have a tendency to keep rechecking things, but it is not something that is a problem for me, it is just a quirk. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I'd talk to his doctor about it. DH has issues like that, but he has to do things a specific number of times (for him it's three). He gets anxious if he doesn't. He's a controlling person in general. It isn't debilitating or anything, but he'd be better off if he'd gotten coping skills as an adolescent. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 Thanks, everyone. I don't think it's affecting his daily routine at all. I've never tried to stop him from the re-checking routine, so I'm not sure how he would respond to that. Maybe I'll test it tomorrow. As for how long it's been going on? This seems to be recent--maybe a few months. The only other indication of anxiety that I see is a bit of nervous stomach before a road trip or camping weekend (the "what if I forgot something" feeling). Oh, and he hates when he sees someone reading a book with the one side folded all the way back in a way that might ruin the binding. But doesn't that make us all twitch a bit? :) I'll keep an eye on him and note any increases in these types of issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 How long has this been happening? Is it interrupting his ability to function? (can't go to sleep without checking, gets out mid-shower to check) Is he able to choose not to check, even though he recognizes that he wants to? How does he behave if he can't check? If there is no major increase in behaviors and he is able to stop himself from checking without discomfort, then I'd say he is fine. Hormones do some wacky things to kids' anxiety levels. I'd expect it to naturally decrease on its own. If, on the other hand, the problem seems to be increasing in frequency or discomfort, then I'd have him evaluated sooner rather than later. You don't want him to get into a bad pattern. Habits can be hard to break. Anxiety is tricky. I agree. The list of questions to answer is spot on. I have a kid who dips a toe into OCD-land but is not diagnosable and does not need meds. Interestingly, he is also 12. He does tend toward anxiety, but many, many functional people (including yours truly) do. For most of us, the anxiety is manageable and not life-impacting. I would say watch and wait. I would also give him some basic tools to recognize anxiety and manage it. Those are helpful for most people. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 I agree. The list of questions to answer is spot on. I have a kid who dips a toe into OCD-land but is not diagnosable and does not need meds. Interestingly, he is also 12. He does tend toward anxiety, but many, many functional people (including yours truly) do. For most of us, the anxiety is manageable and not life-impacting. I would say watch and wait. I would also give him some basic tools to recognize anxiety and manage it. Those are helpful for most people. Do you mean things like self-talk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Do you mean things like self-talk? Yes, in addition to education about the difference between fear and anxiety, self-awareness, deep breathing, talking to you about his feelings. I think most (if not all) kids need explicit information given about feelings and how to manage them. It is something that is often skipped if kids seem to be doing okay, but it is helpful for kids to know what the normal range of feelings is and how to become self-aware. It is great that your son talked to you about this. He probably thought he was the only person in the world who did this, will feel relieved if told it is fairly common, and then can be empowered to manage his feelings and impulses in the future. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 My oldest and my youngest both have OCD. For my oldest, it started at 10yo, but she hid it really well. I didn't really know that it was going on until she was 15yo. I thought it was just quirky stuff (my oldest and my middle both have Asperger's). My oldest had a full-blown OCD crisis when she was 18yo. I was worried about it cropping up in my youngest (never saw it in my middle) and it did develop into OCD in her too. It was minor until around 15-16yo for both my oldest and my youngest. We found a fantastic OCD specialist who was responsible for giving my oldest dd a life again. What you describe about your ds is exactly the kind of thing my kids went through at that age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I agree with everyone who says that so long as it isn't dibilitating or getting noticeably worse, don't worry too much but keep your eye on it. DS has lots of quirks, but as he's gotten older he's better able to handle them on his own. So things that used to completely sideline him--seams on socks in the wrong place, for example-- no longer do because he can take care of it himself. The day I noticed he'd cut the labels out of his shirts was the day I realized he was controlling his personal environment much more than realized, and that there was more chaos there than I'd previously been fully aware of. That ability to control is something we all do and is a sign of maturation IME. I think the fact that your son is aware of his checking tendency is a good sign. I'm sure we all have quirks that we don't even recognize in ourselves because they have become just a part of our personality. Until we bought a coffee maker that had auto shutoff, I would have to unplug it before I left the house. There are a thousand things I re-check, but because it's just part of my routine it's not a concerning behavior. We all have them and we should expect our kids do too. Of course we should keep an eye out for behaviors that can turn harmful if left unchecked, but I'm not one to label every personality quirk or worry it will get out of control without intervention. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I was going to say that I do what your son does until I realized that he said that he definitely knows the doors are locked. I do it because I'm ADD and can't remember if I had just thought of locking the doors but had never followed through on it or not. So I go check again to make sure. But not over and over again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I have OCD and anxiety. They frequently go together :) I can't remember a time when I didn't have OCD - it started very young. But - it didn't become bothersome until I got older. I think the anxiety of puberty/growing up, etc., triggered it badly. I think that's why people think it starts showing up at those ages...? In and of itself, what you mentioned may not be OCD. Ask him what he FEELS when he doesn't allow himself to check the door locks or for his pen. If the NOT checking is uncomfortable, causes him stress, etc., or if he feels some ominous bad thing may happen, then it's more than likely OCD... I'm no psychologist, so take what I've typed for what it's worth :) Anyway - if he brought it up, it's possibly been going on for a long time, or is getting worse for him. Learning anxiety coping skills young is great for any kid, but even better if a kid has OCD... It never hurts :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I was a "checker". I have OCD and Asperger's, undiagnosed until I was forty-five years old. I do not take any medication. (I would take medication without hesitation were my "quirks" interfering with normally-functioning life.) During high school, I drove my best friend mad because I would check the lock on the house front door more than twenty times before I felt ok that it truly was locked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I was going to say that I do what your son does until I realized that he said that he definitely knows the doors are locked. I do it because I'm ADD and can't remember if I had just thought of locking the doors but had never followed through on it or not. So I go check again to make sure. But not over and over again. Me too... And I check twice or three times that I have keys before I lock the car... But that's because I've locked keys in before. I've also driven 20 minutes home because I couldn't remember if I'd turned off the coffee pot. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Did he have strep before it started? (PANDAS) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamppost Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Definitely look into PANDAS.Here are a couple of books that may be helpful: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD (What-to-Do Guides for Kids) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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