Lawyer&Mom Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I'm 29 weeks today, and feeling sort of ambivalent about this new baby. There's just so much I'm not looking forward to. Surgery! Sleep Deprivation! Cranky Toddler! Frazzled Husband! Please tell me about the joys and thrills of the second baby. I need some positive inspiration, and I know you guys can deliver. (Pun intended.) Also, I had a rough 4th trimester last time. (Difficult cesearean resulting in anemia, reflux baby, new house, new city etc.) It's going to be easier this time, right? I'm having a scheduled cesearean which should help with the blood loss/exhaustion, and we are a lot more settled, but I do have a toddler now. (Who is just a delight, so she will provide moments of postpartum joy I suppose?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 My son tells me that he loves his baby sister every day, thanks God for her when we pray, teaches her all sorts of things, dances with her, and always asks when we're going to have another. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 When your older child kisses the baby on the forehead unprompted, or goes to fetch the lovey and make it all better, you will know it's all good. When you see the first picture of your whole family, it will be adorable. When you snuggle up to read your new little one a picture book, you will delight in the moment together. When s/he walks up to get that bachelor's degree, you will have happy tears in your eyes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Right now, my 6 and 9 year olds are playing wonderfully together, which they do most of the time. It's totally worth it. It will be very hard, but the good outweighs the bad. I will also say that although I have only had scheduled c-sections, (first baby was footling breech) a scheduled one is much easier than an emergency one after labor, from what I understand. And there's the beauty of being able to schedule child care for your toddler exactly when you need it instead of wondering :) I'm 23 weeks with #3 and feeling a bit ambivalent at times, but the idea of two big sisters helps out a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Toddlers tend to loooove babies. No one loves the antics of toddlers like most babies do. Sibling relationships are so special. Consider hiring a birth doula for your delivery. Read up on their benefits for surgical deliveries too. Consider hiring a postpartum doula for after your delivery. See a chiropractor that specializes in babies a few days after your delivery. C-sections, breech positioning, and extractions (forceps and vacuum) each cause neck misalignment that can cause spitting up, colic, relux and infant migraines in some babies. The nerve we use to vomit is at the base of the skull. Neck misalignment is a common contributor to migraines in infants. Have the number of an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) on hand if you're planning to breastfeed.The "lactation consultant" at your hospital may not have the years of medical training required by Board Certification. Create space for adjusting to your new baby. Don't plan anything on a hard and fast schedule or have rigid expectations about what you, baby, toddler and should be doing and when. Don't accept "help" you don't really want. Let people know when you want them to visit, don't let them drop in as they please. Make sure your spouse is ready to guard your wishes if someone is going against them. Plan on taking excellent care of yourself with diet and rest. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 It's been six years since I had a newborn and toddler and life was crazy, but good. I'm now 18 weeks along with a surprise number 3, and both big kids are thrilled. As was mentioned up-thread, set yourself up early. Have a nursing/feeding corner ready with book, toys, and snacks that are only for when you are feeding so big sibling feels like that time is special and not another time the baby is getting more attention. Involve the big kid as much as possible, but also set aside some cuddle time when the baby is napping or with dad. Today my big kids don't always get along, but the other day at the pool DS offered to hold DD's hand while she jumped in because she was scared. Having siblings close in age can be so much fun. Good luck! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momto6inIN Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 All of our even # kids were easy peasy ... it's the odd # ones that were a big transition :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 The positives: With kids close in age, they are automatic playmates once the baby is old enough to play Baby naps a lot the first two years, so you'll still have lots of one-on-one time with your oldest This is your second c-section, so you know what to expect, and recovery will hopefully (it did for me) be shorter. Do you have to have a c-section? VBACs are more common nowadays compared to fifteen years ago when I was having my second daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I'm 29 weeks today, and feeling sort of ambivalent about this new baby. There's just so much I'm not looking forward to. Surgery! Sleep Deprivation! Cranky Toddler! Frazzled Husband! Please tell me about the joys and thrills of the second baby. I need some positive inspiration, and I know you guys can deliver. (Pun intended.) Also, I had a rough 4th trimester last time. (Difficult cesearean resulting in anemia, reflux baby, new house, new city etc.) It's going to be easier this time, right? I'm having a scheduled cesearean which should help with the blood loss/exhaustion, and we are a lot more settled, but I do have a toddler now. (Who is just a delight, so she will provide moments of postpartum joy I suppose?) IME, a scheduled C section is much easier than an emergency C section. If you've already had a colicky baby, it's very unlikely this one will be worse. The difference between a colicky, difficult baby and a happy baby is incredible. It's an order of magnitude easier. It will almost certainly be easier this time! There are no guarantees, but your odds are good that this baby won't be as hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Do you have to have a c-section? VBACs are more common nowadays compared to fifteen years ago when I was having my second daughter. There will be no VBAC. Dd1 was quite impacted after four hours of pushing. They had to make a larger incision than they would have liked. My doctor told me on the table that my next birth would be a cesarean. Also, Dd1 had a hundredth percentile head. (That's what it said on her chart, clearly they round up). I'm willing to bet this one will be just as big. I'd rather have a planned section than a second unplanned section. Thanks everyone for all the encouragement, much appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Siblings are quite possibly the best gift you can give a child. My second baby was a very easy transition in almost every way. It was so much easier to go from one to two than zero to one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 About a year after the baby is here your two children will start playing together. In a lot of ways two kids are easier than one because you don't have to be an entertainer. Your oldest will melt your heart the first time he/she kisses the baby or mimics you caring for the baby. Plus, is there anything more precious than cuddling a sleeping newborn? Since you have a few weeks to go, consider doubling the portion sizes of meals you cook and freezing half. Then you won't have to cook as often, that will help with the frazzled feeling and take one thing off your plate later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I have hard pregnancies, and it was especially difficult with our 4th. I felt very much like you described, but once that little baby arrived the love I had for her was overwhelming. You will be o.k. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Speaking of C-Sections - I had both the scheduled kind (kid #3 was transverse) and the emergency kind (kid #4 didn't get the VBAC memo and turned transverse when I went into labor). The scheduled kind is MUCH easier to recover from. Smaller incisions, less stress, well-organized operating crew, birth plan in place if you choose. Babies are wonderful. Kid #4 makes our whole life brighter just by being here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy not in HI Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 When I was pregnant with baby #2 I was worried that there wasn't room in my heart for another baby. Baby #1 was my whole life. I just couldn't imagine that there was room for another. It was something I worried about for months. I felt like I was getting ready to ruin poor baby #1's life... And then baby #2 was born and it sort of felt like my heart grew "three sizes that day". So much love! Awe. She was just so beautiful and I truly loved her so much, I couldn't get enough of her! I know you didn't mention that as a worry, but just in case... Enjoy your little ones! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 And newborns smell soooooo good! #2 is so completely different than #1, and dd2 is like me! ;-) She loves poetry, is made of story and can carry a tune. I made my husband promise a chef, nanny and cleaning lady when I was in transition with de2, because #1 had been so hard on my health--the sleep deprivation, etc. Dd2 wasn't a ton better sleeper, but better, and a much easier baby. Now I have a #3 and 4 is on the way. 3 sleeps like a rock star, still naps 2x/day at 2.5yo and is my reward for all I went through with 1 and 2. It is so hard--I'm scared about 4 and pray he is like 3 was/is. But, #2 is an amazing person and you will love yours just as passionately and in a completely different way than you love #1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 All of our even # kids were easy peasy ... it's the odd # ones that were a big transition :) Mine too! I never thought of it that way before. I, too, worried very much about having the 2nd. It was way, way easier than I had feared (and almost all of my friends thought having the 2nd was easier- especially having a planned c section). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Soon you won't remember having one child. It will all be just right. :grouphug: Exhausting perhaps but just right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 You had it rough the first time! It seems to me that even those who didn't have it as rough as you the first time still struggled!! First babies are hard, complications and other events going on in life make it so much harder!! Just having done this before prepares you for what could happen.... but odds are this one will be much easier. Every birth and child is so different, there's no need to worry that the scenario is going to be the same. After my second DH was amazed at how much faster I bounced back. You can do it! The little sweet baby is soooooo worth it and will be such a joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I've heard from everybody that scheduled c-sections are vastly better than emergency ones so I bet you'll have a much better time of it this time with fewer complications after. Also, I have 3 birth kids so far and #2 had reflux but none of the others did so that hopefully won't happen to you twice in a row either. And as everyone said above...siblings!! There is just nothing cuter! My boys (baby 1 and 2) are just adorable together even still at 7 and 4.5. They giggle together at night, help each other, and often opt to play with each other over other friends. And when #3 was born it was even better, both boys are so sweet and gentle with their little sister. They dote on her, I'm pretty sure she thinks she's the center of the universe because her big brothers cater to her so much. And she thinks they're the coolest thing since sliced bread so they have their own in-house fan club :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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