fraidycat Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I used be be known for my ability to fart on demand. And sound like a motorbike. Then I started eating grain-free. My "super power" is non-existent now. I don't know how I feel about it, yet. It's been a couple years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Things I regret: episiotomies, my one and only induction, and my third delivery due to the on call doc I got. Overall, that's not too bad. That third delivery traumatized me, but that is able to be overcome and mostly has been. I had an on call midwife with John (1st). She prioritized a natural labor too much. I had no idea I had been pushing for 4 hours. If you told me it was 20 minutes I would have believed you. They put me on oxygen for his sake and I asked to see a doctor. The doctor was not happy. My surgery was immediate as in the drugs hadn't even kicked in yet. He needed CPR. Not rescue breathing, CPR. He was fine. Despite the fact that looking back I think I could have sneezes Miss Womans out I have no regrets. I did the best I could have at the time. Anyway, I have to go do dishes. Change the subject before I get back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I used be be known for my ability to fart on demand. And sound like a motorbike. Then I started eating grain-free. My "super power" is non-existent now. I don't know how I feel about it, yet. It's been a couple years. I'm sorry for your loss. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lots of little ducklings Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ladies, ladies, ladies….. We call them toots around here. As in, "Okay, okay…. who's the mystery tootster this time?" Really. :sneaky2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I just want to report: I just sat on my cat. It's her doing -- she jumped into my desk chair (mesh seat -- I thought she hated that!) when I stood up partially to adjust my clothes before sitting back down. I had no idea she was there, sneaky little devil. Now she's mad at me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ladies, ladies, ladies….. We call them toots around here. As in, "Okay, okay…. who's the mystery tootster this time?" Really. :sneaky2: I'm not really a *lady* per se. You should see the way I sit when I wear a skirt. It's sad. And yeah, I fart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I just want to report: I just sat on my cat. It's her doing -- she jumped into my desk chair (mesh seat -- I thought she hated that!) when I stood up partially to adjust my clothes before sitting back down. I had no idea she was there, sneaky little devil. Now she's mad at me. Awww. They are sneaky like that. ;) Mine sat in my lap all afternoon until she made me warm and sleepy, and I was forced to nap. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ummmmm, I'm really busy lately but thanks anyway. :scared: :lol: :lol: :lol: I thought you might say that! Our two bouts were both more than a year ago. We eradicated with extreme prejudice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 No thank you. You can keep the points. I was run over by a truck once. Hopefully it won't be happening again. You win on the ouch contest (for which I'm truly sorry for you)! I was going more for the smack-my-head-because-I-could-have-easily-prevented-it-but-instead-let-it-happen-TWICE booby prize. Or, given past tones of this thread, should that have been "booKy prize"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I bow down to the queen of klutz. I cannot top that. Though I will say that I had a night terror a few weeks ago, reinjured my ankle, tore a divet out of my shin, and bruised up my rear and hip so badly that it lasted for two weeks. Then I sprained my ankle (and hurt my wrist and gave myself horrible road rash on the opposite leg in the process) again about a week later. I have been wanting to get a pedicure, but I am afraid the nail place would call 911 instead of doing my feet. I now have to wait until I don't look like I have been beat half to death. My brain is tired -- it must be. It stuck on "night terror" and then went on to read you tore a duvet out of your shin.... Yup, I would wake up in a sweat if I did that in a dream! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I bow down to the queen of klutz. I cannot top that. Though I will say that I had a night terror a few weeks ago, reinjured my ankle, tore a divet out of my shin, and bruised up my rear and hip so badly that it lasted for two weeks. Then I sprained my ankle (and hurt my wrist and gave myself horrible road rash on the opposite leg in the process) again about a week later. I have been wanting to get a pedicure, but I am afraid the nail place would call 911 instead of doing my feet. I now have to wait until I don't look like I have been beat half to death. Oh, and thank you for the additional title! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ok, I'm changing the subject, per your command. I love Maru the cat: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I once ran my dad's station wagon into the side of our church. I was 15 and trying to back it out. I don't know what he was thinking. It was the beginning of a series of unfortunate events with me and cars. I once hit my FIL's garage door with my car, at very low speed (I was parking and misjudged the distance). Scuffed my paint and dented his door. I realized then that I probably should have had MIL or DH come get me and drive me home instead of driving myself. I was pregnant at the time and feeling unwell, and left work to come home (we were staying with them while we sold our house and waited for our new house to be finished). I went inside and didn't even climb the stairs until someone else got home. Didn't trust myself not to fall on the stairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ok, I'm changing the subject, per your command. I love Maru the cat: See! Even *she* knows I'm queen! Nice cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I once ran my dad's station wagon into the side of our church. I was 15 and trying to back it out. I don't know what he was thinking. It was the beginning of a series of unfortunate events with me and cars. Right after I took my driving test and passed the driving judge and I were walking back to the courthouse when we heard a big crunching sound behind us. It was another teen headed out on her driving test, with another driving judge. We had pulled in and parked next to her while she was buckling up in the car. She forgot to double-check the "empty" spot next to her and cranked the wheel over when backing out -- gouged my dad's truck right under the gas tank port. To her credit (and NOT to her mother's) she calmly re-parked, got out, and after confirming proper steps with her driving judge proceeded to swap info with my dad and me, all while listening to her mother throwing hysterics right and left. I'm pretty sure her next driving test went very well, since if that didn't shake her composure not much would. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Wow. The things I learned tonight. I am now happy that the ability to belch is the only "skill" triggered by pregnancy here. As for childbirth, I woke up a month later. 'Nuff said. Ellie, can we pretty please have a Hula Dude video in the morning? Those are cool, and we SO cannot afford a Hawaiin vacation! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 My husband this morning - "So... how's the ignore thread?" My husband is always asking me who I'm "talking to". I'm like "It's Jean on the WTM!" or something. He tries not to be jealous. :Angel_anim: ? Is this for sensitive issues? I've never used it because I'm afraid it's a reference to miscarriages or something. I don't know if it is for miscarriages. Maybe someone else knows. Do some squats after your kegals. I never accidentally fart. I snort all the frigging time though. You don't fart because you had c-sections. If you gave birth the other way and got hemorrhoids, you would accidentally fart. It is what it is. Keeping it real here! I had lice growing up and we were poor. My mom put aloe in my hair for a week because lice are super picky and prefer clean hair. I'm not saying don't treat it, but keep the dirty hair thing in mind. I hope to never have lice. College girl got bed bugs in her college townhome this year, which was close enough. I plan to die at 74. This is still young. Set a better goal for yourself, like 84. That is a respectable goal. I've never learned to drive. Sometimes when people are nasty about the fact that I don't drive (you'd be surprised how often this happens!) we tell them that we don't believe that women should drive. They don't really know how to respond at that point. Well, in CA and NY you don't really need to drive, right? You have no idea. I have a really unpleasant story (stop reading if you're eating) involving my grandmothers legs getting stuck to the fake leather in her car and a bunch of her skin peeling off. She wrapped herself in toilet paper and drove to the doctor just bleeding everywhere. All of those situations scarred me when I was really young and I associate them with old age. I know it's wrong, but knowing something in your head and believing it in your heart are two different things. That is a really, really bad story. I would be scarred, too. I had c-sections for both kids and still ended up with hemorrhoids and farting. Also, I was VERY glad I read The Girlfriend's Guide To Being Pregnant (and the companion book for dads-to-be, What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding). TGGTBP DESCRIBED hemorrhoids for me, and I was grateful for the knowledge. Had I not read that before getting them I would have panicked massively upon making the discovery down there.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Thanks for the flatulence clarification. 84's too old. We live in Oregon now because my husband's cold and heartless. I wish I could drive, but some people just weren't meant to. Not for me. I WILL live to be in my 80's (at LEAST). I am going to determinedly take after my Dad's side of the family in this, and not my Mom's. Mom died at age 66 (much much much too soon), and her mother died at age 67. If I can I'll get on Smucker's/Willard Scott's postings of centenarians -- hopefully for multiple years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Cheer up! My uterus did not prolapse. The old gal is golden. :) We must be careful, though! I did a web search on "prolaped uterus" (gross, yes, but that's the sort of insatiable curiosity I have), and one of the causes listed is MENOPAUSE. :scared: And we all know that everything on the internet is true. They can't put it on the internet if it's not true! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Awww. They are sneaky like that. ;) Mine sat in my lap all afternoon until she made me warm and sleepy, and I was forced to nap. :) Good kitty! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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AMJ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I should go to bed now. It's nearly midnight and I'm clearly getting punchy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I should go to bed now. It's nearly midnight and I'm clearly getting punchy. But you were first!!!!! Yay you!!! :party: :party: :party: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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