Ellie Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Your grandma! Hehehe My dh told me today that he wanted to start a brothel and offer coupons. He would call them Gropons. (Say it out loud. It will make sense.) I'm here every night through next Saturday. :ohmy: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) :ohmy: Ha! Edited May 19, 2016 by texasmama 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 There! Congratulations. Goodnight peeps. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 #nohashtagsplz 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Once I had to swallow a pill camera for a medical test and I says, in front of dh to the nurse, "I don't have any trouble swallowing big things." Edited May 19, 2016 by texasmama 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 My contribution for the evening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck5rIVdSMZ0 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 #nohashtagsplzYou're not the boss of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 #notthebossofme 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 My contribution for the evening: Ellie quit being a hooch. You're not the boss of me. Yeah, I kinda am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ellie is liquor? No, you're not. First kegels and now hash tags. #bossyboots 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ellie is liquor? No, you're not. First kegels and now hash tags. #bossyboots Hooch, like hoochie. Woman with many men. #CArulesTXdrools #everyoneknowsyoudidkegals 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I did a few kegels in my past like before you were born. Boom! I can't believe you called Ellie a hoochie! #CAsucksTXrocksyourfaceoff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 She keeps posting videos of nearly naked men dancing around! #myfacehurtsnow 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Wow, this thread has evolved since I saw it last! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ellie I never wanted to go to Hawaii until now. That was beautiful and they had nice bodies too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lots of little ducklings Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ha! I meant as a stand up comic. Did I not mention the almost constant unintentional double entendre? #soembarrassingtobeme "Are you still reading that thread?" - dh this morning as he hears me burst out laughing. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Good Morning, All! Queen Hoochie, where are the MEN? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 See, I couldn't tell how you were, so I took it as ;) . And for the record, I don't get the kilt-lust either. For me it's the knees. DH has the cutest knees.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Oh, but then etiquette kicks in, and I'm pretty sure that it is improper to drink applesauce with a straw. You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd, either. Actually, roller skating in a buffalo herd is possible, but not advisable, just like going to 105% on the reactor. Points for a movie quote from a Sean Connery movie that isn't 007! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 My husband is eavesdropping on this thread (peeking over my shoulder) He knows all about everyone's girly bits (as we call them at my house) now. He's a little confused about the purpose of this forum. My DH learned his lesson on that. Now if I giggle too much he might ask, but he's quickly learning not to. :w00t: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 They both said that it ruined teA and my MIL has urinary incontinence. My husband's head is HUGE, as is my son's. I have stress incontinence after my pregnancies, and I had 2 c-sections. It was likely the 10 days of on-again-off-again labor with the first, however, that caused it. When I worked a paycheck job I kept a FULL change of clothing in my office, even after I was done breastfeeding & pumping, because just one good sneeze and.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Yabbut I'll bet no one else here had a couple of seconds of TV fame tonight on the ABC show "American Crime." Just me. Yup. In the court room scene towards the end of the show. The woman in the rose-colored sweater...moi. I'm only charging $50 for autographs... :ohmy: What did you DO?!? PM me your prison address and I'll send you a nail file inside a chocolate bar. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I've missed so much. Hi! I just assume that everyone on the hive thinks I'm a complete idiot. I've never studied formal grammar, I'm dyslexic, and my spelling in general is atrocious. I have a fantabulous vocabulary, but I also use words like fantabulous so, um, yeah. I'm glad you have a clear answer. My husband loves liver. I saute it with onions, garlic, and green bell pepper, toss it on a sandwich with tomatoes, lettuce, and bacon if we have it and toast it. His coworkers were afraid to come to our house because I make "weird" food. When they finally came over it was right after John was born and I told them I made casserole out of my placenta. Thanks a lot, now I have to clean my computer screen! No, I wasn't eating at the keyboard. I was about to bl -- wait, won't post that. It's gross. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I think men doing hula are as hot as men in kilts. Well, DU-UH, yeah. I get to drool over memories of DH here again. On our honeymoon we had Super Ambassador tickets to the Polynesian Cultural Center, and DH got conscripted into drumming at the Tonga village because I kept pointing at him when they chose "volunteers". He was so cute in a grass skirt, banging on drums.... It was a memorable part of the honeymoon! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I have something off color to share. But it is just biology so what the heck ever. Last night, little dd got her hamster out of the cage to play with and remarked on the HUGE lumps on his "bottom". Back story: We have never had a male hamster*. I was convinced that the poor thing had testicular cancer or a case of terrible tumors or something so I googled, yes, wait for it..."hamster testicles". So it turns out that this is NORMAL in the spring. Who knew? I am so relieved. I shared this information with my sons and dh, and they were all reaching for the brain bleach because, well, you just cannot unhear some things. It is quite impressive. *We have managed somehow to have 4 female hamsters and a female mouse. :ohmy: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I LOVE the tiny hamsters and tiny burritos and tiny cakes and such so much. SERIOUS WARNING (the warning of something serious to come...): Two friends passed away this past week. It was a heavy, heavy week. One of them was always posting these tiny hamster videos so I will always think of her when I see them. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Me, either. I used to be, but now I am old, tired and menopausal. I'd just as soon challenge someone to a duel. Okay, given the context this has me worried. Just what kind of a "duel" are you proposing? :leaving: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I find that to be humorous I HAVE to do kegels. No kegels, no humor. This is my theory now about the sourpuss old biddies who never crack a smile, never mind giggle or laugh. They've not been doing kegels and they can't be even remotely amused for fear of leakage... No, I have pads. I'm gonna laugh my donkey off in this thread, so I have taken protective measures! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 To poke up poor Willy." :ohmy: Your grandmother?!? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Okay, I'm all caught up now. Unfortunately, the tendonitis I just beat back into submission is returning, thanks to this thread again. If I'm not on much in the coming week or so it's due to that, and visiting family. Hopefully this thread will survive until I can return! Hey, where is everyone? It better not be a -- no, surely not. They wouldn't go THAT far, would they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ellie I never wanted to go to Hawaii until now. That was beautiful and they had nice bodies too. It isn't only the men who dance beautifully: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Well, DU-UH, yeah. I get to drool over memories of DH here again. On our honeymoon we had Super Ambassador tickets to the Polynesian Cultural Center, and DH got conscripted into drumming at the Tonga village because I kept pointing at him when they chose "volunteers". He was so cute in a grass skirt, banging on drums.... It was a memorable part of the honeymoon! I've been to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Points for using the word "conscription". 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Okay, given the context this has me worried. Just what kind of a "duel" are you proposing? :leaving: I told you I was good at unintentional double entendre. It's a gift. :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Okay, I'm all caught up now. Unfortunately, the tendonitis I just beat back into submission is returning, thanks to this thread again. If I'm not on much in the coming week or so it's due to that, and visiting family. Hopefully this thread will survive until I can return! Hey, where is everyone? It better not be a -- no, surely not. They wouldn't go THAT far, would they? Forget your family! We're your new family! I was at church. (insert angel emoticon) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I have stress incontinence after my pregnancies, and I had 2 c-sections. It was likely the 10 days of on-again-off-again labor with the first, however, that caused it. When I worked a paycheck job I kept a FULL change of clothing in my office, even after I was done breastfeeding & pumping, because just one good sneeze and.... I'm sorry. I'm turning 30 this year and I don't want to get any older. Too many bad stories in that arena too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I'm sorry. I'm turning 30 this year and I don't want to get any older. Too many bad stories in that arena too. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. After awhile, your sense of humor is all you have left. ;) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I'm sorry. I'm turning 30 this year and I don't want to get any older. Too many bad stories in that arena too. Pishposh. I'll raise you 30 and call it good. :hat: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Ellie and I could have birthed you, Slache. My 30's were good years for my health, energy, and appearance. It was not until after turning 40 that things began falling apart. Edited May 19, 2016 by texasmama 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Ellie and I could have birthed you, Slache. My 30's were good years for my health, energy, and appearance. It was not until after turning 40 that things began falling apart. This year, as a joke, my college girl had a sample of Depends mailed to me. So funny. :nopity: Buncha smart alecks I have reared. I have only myself to blame. <sigh> Please note that except on VERY rare occasions like once or twice a year with a very full bladder and an enthusiastic sneeze, I experience no urinary incontinence. #thankyouverymuch Having turned 41 recently, I take issue with saying things fall apart after 40. I'm quite well thank you very much! My last was born when I was 37. Since my grandmother had my youngest uncle when she was 47, I consider myself still in my prime. I also keep everything in quite well, usually. Except last night as I was reading this thread. My oldest called it a shnart. It's when you sneeze and fart at the same time. I told her because of this thread, I also had embarrassed myself and needed to change. If I had warning, I would not have had to change. I was way too comfortable. I now only read this thread on my guard (not Depends or anything else). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Having turned 41 recently, I take issue with saying things fall apart after 40. I'm quite well thank you very much! My last was born when I was 37. Since my grandmother had my youngest uncle when she was 47, I consider myself still in my prime. I also keep everything in quite well, usually. Except last night as I was reading this thread. My oldest called it a shnart. It's when you sneeze and fart at the same time. I told her because of this thread, I also had embarrassed myself and needed to change. If I had warning, I would not have had to change. I was way too comfortable. I now only read this thread on my guard (not Depends or anything else). I think it was just me, honey. But it was a weird deal what happened. I think there were extenuating life circumstances in my case, though. I had my last baby shortly before turning 39. Old mamas unite! :D As for the last paragraph, thanks for sharing. :scared: Happens to the best of us, or so I hear. :rofl: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 If I'm not on much in the coming week or so it's due to that, and visiting family. Hopefully this thread will survive until I can return! Personally, I plan to keep posting in this thread until I have at least 1000 posts to my name. This is now post #967. At this rate, though, I might get to 1000 before you come back. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Personally, I plan to keep posting in this thread until I have at least 1000 posts to my name. Me too. Long live 'Ignore this thread"!!!! Also posting until I appear on the top of a page. That might take longer than another 900 posts. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 10,000 point to all of you who have posted and made me unsubscribe. My phone laughed today when I told it to download emails. It only holds 16 GB. I spent 30 min deleting notifications from this forum. You ladies ROCK! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Also posting until I appear on the top of a page. That might take longer than another 900 posts. Keep posting. I think it's close to another page. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 We recently discovered this channel. Think this is really doable? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 True confessions: We have lice. No idea where they came from. None. This is not fun. However we whipped out the microscope to take advantage of the situation. I love homeschooling. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 So close Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 do I get it?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 FINALLY!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 FINALLY!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: I'm so proud. I even held off just so you could have that gratifying feeling of being first on a page. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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