s/o Decorating graves with flowers

[Amira]

In the international Halloween thread, it was mentioned that mums are the flower of choice for decorating graves in some places which reminded me of a couple of things I've wondered about for a long time.

First, is there a tradition of decorating graves with flowers on a certain day (i.e. Memorial Day in some parts of the US or the Day of the Dead in Mexico) in your area/state/country?

Second, whether there is a day specified for bringing flowers or not, is there a traditional flower that is used for decorating graves?

In Utah and southern Idaho cemeteries are covered with flowers on Memorial Day. We didn't see that in Seattle. We went to a cemetery a few times with friends in Kyrgyzstan, but I don't think there was a set day for visiting or decorating graves. In Mexico, cemeteries are very well decorated on the Day of the Dead.

Marigolds are the flower of choice in Mexico for graves and altars. The country seems to carpeted with them on November 2. In Utah there were a variety of flowers used when I was younger, but then grocery stores started selling inexpensive potted mums on Memorial Day and that was all we saw the last few times we were in the area on Memorial Day. There wasn't a set flower in Kyrgyzstan.

[regentrude]

In Germany, most graves have flowers or plants directly planted on them year round.

People visit the graves of their loved ones on the last Sunday before Advent, which is called Sunday of the Dead, and bring flowers. And people also visit on their loved ones birthdays or the anniversaries of their deaths.

There is no particular flower that is associated with this. Calla lilies are associated with funerals.

 

[maize]

The Japanese equivalent of a day of dead is the obon festival, most often in August (varies by region). Families will visit the cemetery to invite the spirits of the departed home. Graves are cleaned, flowers may be placed and lanterns lit. At home food offerings are placed at the family altar. Community dancing and fireworks are often part of the multi-day celebration, and it is a time for family reunions.

[Serenade]

In Germany, most graves have flowers or plants directly planted on them year round.

 

 

I love the cemeteries in graveyard.  They are often very beautiful because of the care put into them by surviving relatives.

[mommymilkies]

Around here usually Memorial Day people take flowers.  From what I've seen, they're almost always fake flowers.  Roses rarely.

[Pawz4me]

Many people here put flowers on graves for various holidays and occasions throughout the year.  Easter, Mother's Day or Father's Day, Memorial Day, the person's birthday, etc.  Typically fake flowers are used but not always.  I'm pretty horrible about stuff like that (and honestly just don't see the point, really) but my SIL is great at it so she keeps flowers on my mom's and dad's graves.  She uses whatever appeals to her.  She also usually does something in the spring and in the fall in addition to the special days.

[bolt.]

Canada: in my experience, generally (one or more of) the person's birthday, a wedding anniversary, mothers/fathers day, the anniversary of their death/funeral, and possibly other holidays where one would generally gather with family.

 

It seems to be around the idea of symbolically "involving" the lived one in the occasions that used to involve them physically.

 

Some places do not allow real flowers, because they die and wither, and someone eventually has to remove them as a part if grounds-keeping. Dead bouquets on graves are unsightly in the extreme.

[mumto2]

In England (at least in our village) many graves receive fresh flowers quite often. When walking by the cemetery I frequently see someone tending a grave. Generally just flowers from gardens that the loved one enjoyed not big formal arrangements.

[Laurie]

 

 

 In Utah and southern Idaho cemeteries are covered with flowers on Memorial Day. We didn't see that in Seattle. We went to a cemetery a few times with friends in Kyrgyzstan, but I don't think there was a set day for visiting or decorating graves. In Mexico, cemeteries are very well decorated on the Day of the Dead.

 

 

I was taught that Memorial Day is the day to honor members of the military who died while serving.  Then on Veteran's Day we honor all those who have served in the military.   After my father passed away we would go to the cemetary and leave flowers on his grave on Veteran's Day because he had served in the Navy but not on Memorial Day because he didn't die while serving.  The Boy Scouts would also be at the cemetary handing out flags to anyone who wanted to place one on a grave for these occasions.   In the grocery stores here in Seattle, you can usually find red, white, and blue bouquets (usually mums and daisies) to take to the cemetaries at this time.

 

At the cemetary where my parents are buried there is also special section for children.   People will leave things like pinwheels, not just flowers.    

 

 

[gaillardia]

As another poster or two mentioned, artificial flowers are put on the gravesites of their loved ones on their days of remembrance, birthday, anniversary, etc.

I used to put my mom's favorites at her headstone and my dad's, and then since I happened to be in the same cemetery where my nephew and dh's father and brother were laid to rest, I put flowers there too.

I never cared what day it was personally and did it when I felt to. I usually went Mother's Day and Father's Day. I live far from there now.

Usually I put artificial flowers in each vase, but sometimes real ones, and no particular kind. Mums do last longest I think.

Sundays were the day I would go to cemetery the most often.

In most areas, small American flags on short posts are put into the grave marker area for veterans on Memorial Day and here there is a cemetery that puts the flags in on Labor Day, 4th of July, Veteran's Day. Did I make myself clear on that? That cemetery lines the lanes' edges with flags too.

How strange that I never noticed if flowers seemed more prolific on Nov. 1 & 2. I have noticed that most cemeteries where I am now always have artificial at almost every single headstone, as most have a vase that can be pulled out and put on the top of the headstone.

 

[bettyandbob]

In Germany, most graves have flowers or plants directly planted on them year round.

People visit the graves of their loved ones on the last Sunday before Advent, which is called Sunday of the Dead, and bring flowers. And people also visit on their loved ones birthdays or the anniversaries of their deaths.

There is no particular flower that is associated with this. Calla lilies are associated with funerals.

 

When I have visited Germany, I always liked stopping to look at cemeteries. Each grave is specially tended and unique.

 

[Arcadia]

For traditional Chinese, we sweep the graves on Ching Ming Festival which is usually in early April. Usually people bring chrysanthemums but any flower is okay. We also bring food and literally have a picnic there.

If the ashes are at a Buddhist temple, then usually people won't bring flowers and partake in a vegetarian meal at the temple with relatives.

[Momling]

On All Saints day in Poland, it's a big deal to decorate graves with flowers and then in the evenings to take candles to the graves of your relatives. It's a neat procession.

[Rosie_0801]

My Mum always hated calla lilies, saying they were funeral flowers. I've never seen calla lilies at funerals myself, but perhaps I don't get out often enough.  :huh:

 

Mostly over here, the flowers of choice are plastic. I really hate plastic flowers, but I guess I'd rather my family had plastic flowers than be the only grave without. I'm also pretty sure it is the policy to have them and if I took them away, there'd be more next time I showed up. 

 

[hornblower]

my mom puts out a potted arrangement year round. We're in mums season now. Pansies & ornamental cabbage when it gets colder. & then the typical spring & summer plantings.

For the person's birthday or the anniversary of their death, often people will bring a cut bouquet  & usually you just pick what the person liked.

From the evening of Nov 1, the gravestones will be covered in candles & tealights & lanterns for All Souls.  My mom was out there today cleaning the gravestone & getting rid of old plants so tomorrow is all neat & clean. Most of the family will be trekking out sometime tomorrow to place a candle on the gravestones. With some of our more semi estranged relatives, the only time you see them is if you corner them at the cemetery at dusk on Nov 1.