OH_Homeschooler Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Hello! I will be attending a 50th anniversary party for an older relative soon. It looks like a pretty big deal--the invitation is for a vow renewal ceremony followed by dinner at a steakhouse. The event has been planned by the couple's children. On the invitation, there is the following statement: "Your precious time is your gift. However, if you feel you must, please make a donation to [nonprofit org name]." So the dilemma is this: I do not support the organization due to its stance on social issues. I feel I would be going against my belief system to make a donation. There are no alternatives listed. I know why they selected this organization...one of the hosts happens to be a leader in it. I do want to honor the couple in some way, but not that way. So, what would you do in this situation? Just make the donation? Take them at their word and not feel obligated to give? Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liber Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Take them at their word and not feel obligated to give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Definitely take them at their word and just don't give. No biggie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Don't feel obligated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would take them at their word and not feel obligated to give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would not go against my conscience as a gift. I would do one of two things: (1) If I knew of another charitable organization that they support and that I could support in good faith, I would give a donation to that organization in the couple's name. No explanation is necessary unless the couple requests it. (2) If I did not know of such an organization, or if I did not want to give, or if for some reason it was difficult to do so, I would take them at their word that it's perfectly acceptable not to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would take them at their word as well - just pick up a nice card and call it good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Take them at their word Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Wow, so many responses so quickly! Thanks, everyone! There's such a strong need for reciprocity I guess. I'll look for a way to pay it forward some day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would bring a gift, but it would be more personal than expensive. Maybe a family photograph in a gold frame (since it's their golden wedding anniversary). I would not donate but I also would not comment about why I didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would bring a gift, but it would be more personal than expensive. Maybe a family photograph in a gold frame (since it's their golden wedding anniversary). I would not donate but I also would not comment about why I didn't. This is what I would do. My parents recently celebrated their 50th, and they sooooo appreciated gifts of this nature (poignant or funny photos in a nice frame, handmade items with their names or wedding dates worked in, etc.). I certainly wouldn't make a donation that cut against my own conscience; and I also wouldn't donate to another organization in their name -- that would strike me as Making A Point that had nothing to do with honoring and celebrating the couple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I would not donate to an organization that goes against my conscience. If I really wanted to give something, I'd do as another poster suggested and donate to another charity in their name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Wow, so many responses so quickly! Thanks, everyone! There's such a strong need for reciprocity I guess. I'll look for a way to pay it forward some day. I would take them at their word and not worry about it, but I understand your feelings. I think paying it forward is a great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I wouldn't feel obligated to give. If you must do something, take the money you would have donated and give it to a charity that you think the honorees would appreciate and that you can support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I'd just give a card and not worry about it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Take them at their word Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Don't feel obligated. This. Definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I certainly wouldn't make a donation that cut against my own conscience; and I also wouldn't donate to another organization in their name -- that would strike me as Making A Point that had nothing to do with honoring and celebrating the couple. Yeah, don't do that. We once participated in the Walk to Cure Diabetes through JDRF with our daughter who has type 1. Some family friends of ours didn't agree with the way JDRF uses stem cells for research, so they donated to a different research hospital instead. I was grateful for the donation, but at the same time it felt kind of weird and a tiny but judgy. I wouldn't have cared if they didn't donate at all. Express some personal sentiments in a card and call it good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 I certainly wouldn't make a donation that cut against my own conscience; and I also wouldn't donate to another organization in their name -- that would strike me as Making A Point that had nothing to do with honoring and celebrating the couple. Oh right, I wouldn't do that to make a point. Possibly I'd donate to another organization I knew they also supported, but never one whose mission is explicitly against the one they're requesting donations for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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