Pros/cons of combining children

[strange_girl]

My two oldest children are 20 months apart. They are both advanced (my son could be doing way more than I'm asking of him...but he's the second in line and I don't have the time, lol). They could almost be twins :laugh:

 

I am wondering if it would be easier to stick them in together for content subjects. I am beginning to understand that having 2 kids in their own level of everything next year (plus a 2-year-old) may be more time consuming than beneficial.  For those of you who have done it, was it easier? Did it work well? Did it cause friction between the kids?

 

What did you use that you found it easy to combine them in?

 

If it did not work well, why not?

[Farrar]

I split my twins in math to different programs because it was simply easier than dealing with competition and the sense that they might be ahead or behind.  Also, I found it was the thing that they were most in need of a different approach for.

 

Everything else, combine.  I understand why people split kids for skill subjects - writing, spelling, phonics, math - but not for content - history, science, geography, vocabulary, literature, etc.

[strange_girl]

Thanks :001_smile:

 

I've never really considered putting them together, until I began planning for next year and was looking through all the material I thought wouldn't be too much per day when I was ordering it :lol:

[Mom23Boys]

My 2 oldest are 14 months apart. I combine them in Bible, History and Science.  Next year, they will be doing science separately bc of the curriculum they have requested.  However, I am combining them in Grammar and Writing next year, so overall they will be doing more together. Combining works well for us.

[jar7709]

Mine are also 20 months apart.  I used to combine them more than I do now, reading the same lit books and doing similar activities, just at different levels. It worked well for a few years.  This year it's really become obvious that DS wants LA substance at a very drastically different level from DD, so they aren't combined much at all for our morning "table time" anymore, other than that some stuff looks superficially similar in format.  They've never been combined in math, but DD is gaining on DS there so we'll see.  I suspect that even if she catches up to him they will need different materials for math. 

 

For history and science content--I still have them largely combined, and it continues to work well.  The way we do it is largely read-alouds, videos, experiences, and discussion, and they are close enough that it works. 

[RootAnn]

I used to combine my dd#1 & dd#2 for just about everything except reading & math. Then, dd#1 made some serious leaps in ability, interest, and started to be more self-directing. I had to de-couple them near the end of one school year and they haven't been together in anything since. In the interest of MY time, I combined dd#2 & dd#3 the following school year for spelling, Latin, history, science, religion ... just about everything except reading and math! They have the LARGEST age gap of any of my kids. We've been doing that now for two years and it is working pretty well.

 

The con to having dd#2 & dd#3 working on the same spelling lists or the same Latin is the comparisons they draw against each other. Dd#2 has been through this Latin program before, so she "gets" things better/quicker. This makes perfectionist dd#3 upset. DD#3 also thinks she should get the same number of spelling words correct that dd#2 gets. And dd#2 thinks she should get more spelling words correct than dd#3. They are at approximately the same spelling level so this is a constant source of tension.

[Ellie]

My two oldest children are 20 months apart. They are both advanced (my son could be doing way more than I'm asking of him...but he's the second in line and I don't have the time, lol). They could almost be twins :laugh:

 

I am wondering if it would be easier to stick them in together for content subjects. I am beginning to understand that having 2 kids in their own level of everything next year (plus a 2-year-old) may be more time consuming than beneficial.  For those of you who have done it, was it easier? Did it work well? Did it cause friction between the kids?

 

What did you use that you found it easy to combine them in?

 

If it did not work well, why not?

 

I think that teaching children together as much as possible is one of the best things about homeschooling, which is not school at home but learning all the time :-)

 

However, when it comes to English and math skills, you really have to work with children individually.

[MeghanL]

I keep all mine separate for everything. They don't even do the same art. 

I like it this way because even though it takes much more time than combining:

1. Each child gets to work at their level without the pressure of keeping up with their older/younger sibling.

2. Each child gets to experience a chronological history & art progression. 

3. Each child gets to experience literature at what I deem the "sweet spot" age. 

4. Each child gets a lot of time with me so I can get to know their learning styles and what excites them. 

5. Each child gets their own science program so they can find what they are interested in without being told to move on before they're ready to keep the interest of the sibling.

 

[Coco_Clark]

Mine are almost 18 months apart and about the same age as yours.  Only the oldest is really schooling right now, but the 4 yr old has been tagging along in History, Science, Artist appreciation, Composer Studies, ect.  I don't expect any output from him (narrations, drawings, writing ect) but he's capable of listening and participating on his own level.  I plan on keeping them together for content subjects for the foreseeable future, and folding in all the rest of the children when their time comes as well.  I will just expect different levels of output.

 

I see the benefits of combing as: Time saving, especially as I plan on having 4-6 children eventually.  Creating a family culture around what we are learning, we can all discuss ancient egypt or zoology or picasso because it's what we are all studying at the moment.  The olders can "brush up" on subjects by reading picture books to the youngers and the youngers can "reach" by being involved in conversations and experiments a bit above their head.  

 

I see the negatives as being: Younger kids may be jumping into a history cycle midstream.  You cannot cater your studies around the particular interests of the child.  There may be competing and comparing.    

 

I do plan on keeping them separate in skill subjects (math, spelling, ect).  Even just over a year is such a huge difference in ability at this age that I'd be holding someone back or pushing someone forward in order to combine.  

 

 

 

[strange_girl]

Thank you for all the input :001_smile:  Hearing different sides is always helpful.

[a27mom]

I have 2 girls 20 months apart. I actually combine them for English, which has worked well for us since dd2 has advanced verbal/language skills. I am going to use a very different math program for dd2 so I will include dd1 in some of it, she will play games/do activities with us, but it won't be too repetitive since it is so different. Dd2 has always tagged along for dd1's math to some degree as well, though dd1 is quite a bit ahead, but she generally sits in for the teaching, doesn't do the worksheets. Dd1 is good at and enjoys math, so doing 2 different math programs will hopefully work well for her. My girls are very close and like to be together. "Content" subjects are all interest led, so sometimes they are together and sometimes they aren't, that may be where they have the most disparity actually.

 

So far we do best when "formal" lessons involve game style activities, so both of them usually participate. Once they are able to "read to learn" I think things will change some.

[MiMi 4under3]

I've done it.

 

My son is 10 months older than his twin sisters - they do EVERYTHING together.  

 

Originally, I tried to cater to each of their strengths and weaknesses, because isn't that the major benefit of homeschooling??  But we never finished because there weren't enough hours in the day to assign / supervise / discuss / correct each subject three times separately. 

 

Now, we finish each day.  Then, I give my DD more writing (her passion), DS extra math (his weakness), and other DD more phonics/reading (her weaknesses.)

 

[sbgrace]

My boys are twins. They are very different. They are very silly together. One is easily distracted. For all those reasons and more, it doesn't work well to combine much here.

 

I do all the skill subjects (math, most of the language arts, keyboarding) individually. We do history, science, and read alouds together. Occasionally I combine for something else, but when I do I usually end up remembering why I keep them individual. 

[Crimson Wife]

I keep my kids studying the same topics in history and science but using materials at the appropriate challenge level for each. So that typically means re-ordering one child's "spine" to aline it with the other child's "spine". My oldest is using K12 Human Odyssey for history and we follow the sequence in that book. That means DS is doing SOTW slightly out of order.

[strange_girl]

 

Originally, I tried to cater to each of their strengths and weaknesses, because isn't that the major benefit of homeschooling??  But we never finished because there weren't enough hours in the day to assign / supervise / discuss / correct each subject three times separately. 

 

 

Though I know it's probably doable, this has been my fear exactly. Don't get me wrong. I love teaching my kids and I take it very seriously. But there are are other things I'd like to do in a day *gasp*! :svengo:

[mumto2]

We combined everything except math and grammar/spelling until Dd hit high school. Generally what was expected was different in terms of written work but content the same.  It has been wonderful.  I was able to teach using what I love best , tons of great books.  We had a wonderful time filled with great stories, hands on science, and art and crafts.  Together it worked well but if I had to do it independently I never would have.  Repeating it for Ds never would have happened in most cases.  

[sewingmama]

My 2 are 15 months apart. DS is working a year advanced so they are combined with everything....including maths and English. Really, it only works because DD works at grade level and DS is advanced in everything.

 

There was some competition at the start but they have gotten used to each other now and like to work on projects together.

 

I've just started my youngest on a preschool program and gosh....it can be hard to fit two different programs in a day.

 

I don't know how people with large families do it. We also use MBTP where each level has a span of two years with easier and harder options. When I first started it I gave DS the easier options but now he is doing the harder options with DD.

[FriedClams]

Mine are 16 moths apart. We combine history, science (do it on the older grade), bible, writing, logic... At their grade level they do math, and CLE reading and LA. Works awesome for us. Cannot imagine doubling everything for kids this close in age.

[Mom22ns]

Mine are almost 2 years apart. We have combined off and on. History has almost always been combined at least to some extent. Sometimes science, sometimes literature, at one time writing - that seems funny now because they are so far apart in writing, but ds used to be delayed and dd advanced and it worked great to combine.

 

I think you have to try it to know if it will work. Will they compete too much? Will they distract each other too much? Those are questions only you can answer.

 

Will it save time and effort for you, almost undoubtedly, as long as the answers to the above questions work out in your favor. Will they enjoy it more? Again, it depends on your kids. You will find as many answers to 'how this works in different families' as you find families. The only one that really counts is how it works for you. Try it... maybe even trial run it with some practice lessons before you commit. If it works, you may all be happier for it. If it is a disaster, you can always separate. 

 

Enjoy the learning curve :)

[strange_girl]

Thanks for all the input! I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do, but you've given me a great deal to consider. :)

[RootAnn]

You should always be on the lookout for when you should de-couple them if you have them combined or when it makes sense to combine them when you've had them apart. Kids change so quickly!

 

I always thought I'd combine dd#3 & ds#1 because they are so close in age. Right now, however, they are SO FAR apart in ability & interest. It seems like a gulf the size of the Grand Canyon! 

 

Things change as they get older, so you what works one year (or semester) might not work another year.

 

 

[FO4UR]

I have always combined where I can.  Mine are just getting to the point where we need to make some changes b/c they are wanting to do more for themselves.  (ages 11 and 9 specifically)  

[boscopup]

I combine content subjects right now, though in history, they have different books - they're just doing the same topic. I sometimes do some skills work together. For example, right now, I'm teaching my youngest proper letter formation, and I'm reviewing it with the older two. So that's being done all at once, 2 letters per day (youngest is totally ready to learn, and he's been writing for a while... just not always lowercase and not always correct formation). I'll be combining the younger two in spelling next school year, at least in the beginning. We'll see how it goes. There is a 2.5 year age difference, but the younger reads and spells better than the older, so the pace may work out ok. I also have them all do CLE Math speed drills at the same time, so I only have to time once (I set it for 2 minutes, which is what the middle kid is supposed to do, and I just tell oldest when his 1 minute is up, and youngest technically isn't being timed, but I let him know how long it took him because he likes to know :D). Science is truly combined - everyone is working out of the same text. The younger kids answer a couple oral questions, then they draw a picture and maybe write a sentence or label something. Oldest does notebooking per the text's instructions for "oldest" students, which often involves drawing a picture of how something works and expaining it in words. In history, oldest kid has his own history books that he reads on his own. Middle kid has his own history books that I read to him. Youngest tags along with middle. Next year, we'll continue that (youngest will be K, so history will still be optional for him - sometimes he's interested and sometimes he's not).

 

This year has gone very well with these combinations. If we continue with TOG, we could combine history all the way through high school. But I can't guarantee that we'd still use it later. We might go a completely different direction by then (knowing me :lol:).

[Gil]

My boys are 10mos apart, they do everything together so far, though we may be separating (or not) next year for some areas so that each boy can do what he wants to do. So far, combining has been a huge success for us. They both completed MM6 recently and are now focusing more on their other math stuff and still reading a ton. My boys are best friends and very silly together, they play and laugh and chat all.the.time. For Pal, my youngest, this is what is able to keep him progressing. Pal can work through all sorts of chaos. Noise doesn't bother him at all. He can have a conversation and read through a movie or read a different book while listening to an audio book and still know what happened in both.

 

Buddy likes peace so that he can read. They tend to argue more when they are doing reading together because Pal is boisterous and can't be quiet or still for more than a book at a time and Buddy wants to read for an hour without interruptions. They solved their book-etiquette dilemma themselves by agreeing to do some buddy-reading aloud which allows them to interact, Pal to guffaw, etc, and then they split up a bit to read separately. Of course, this means that Pal winds up chatting my ear off about his book, but that's okay. I like talking to him and once they've both read the books they love discussing and even rereading them together to do an interpretive/dramatic/sometimes completely made up version.

 

 

In math especially, Pal works much faster and for longer periods when his brother is by his side, even though he is, seemingly, distracted. Oddly enough, I think he has greater accuracy in math during those times. I guess time really flies when he's having fun. Buddy likes to have someone around--just the fact that someone is at the table with him (even if they aren't doing anything) makes him able to focus more and he is better at redirecting his attention--he'll be chatting and say "Oh, I need to finish this page!" and then just...do it.

 

I don't know how this dynamic will translate into more structured reading time or content-subjects just yet. So for us, it has been a primarily positive experience thus far, but that could change in the future.