Son hates being skinny

[mom31257]

Ds is almost 11, is 58" tall and weighs 75 pounds. That puts him about 75th percentile on height but maybe 40th percentile on weight. I haven't taken him for a well-check up in a while, but he was just at the pediatrician's office in January. They didn't say anything then about him being too skinny. 

 

Should I try to increase his fat intake and see if it would help him "beef up"? 

 

 

[gaillardia]

What has helped my two of my sons who are tall and skinny is weight lifting and the younger one eats a lot of food when he sits down for a meal. He uses a large bowl for cereal, has 2-3 helpings in the mornings. He has really toned up and gotten muscular which in turn makes him not look so thin. The older son is late 20s and eats a lot of ice cream. It has helped him to gain weight and he too lifts weights sometimes and it has helped him to not look as thin.

[kiana]

This is low BMI-for-age but still in the healthy range. Unless he's recently dropped off the charts (that is, he used to be 75th in weight and is now 40th, or something like that), I wouldn't worry about it other than making sure he has enough food if he wants it. Has he had a growth spurt recently? A lot of times kids shoot up in height and then fill out. I don't think you need to up his fat per se, just make sure that he can have seconds at meals if he wants them.

[Cinder]

I wouldn't. Honestly, it doesn't sound like he's too skinny. (Dd is 90% for height but 50% for weight and her doc is fine with that.) Plus you never know what changes puberty will bring. Ds2 was getting a bit poochy in the belly about that age but now, at 16yo, you'd never have known--he's 6' 3.5" and 140 lbs. Talk about skinny. But the doc doesn't seem bothered by it as ds is active and eating normally. And ds1, who was always slimmer than ds2 at the same age ended up with the broad shoulders--he's 6' 2" and 170. Dh and I always thought it would be the other way around--that ds1 would be taller and skinny and ds2 would be broader-shouldered--just based on their growth when they were younger.

 

This reminds me of the boy I knew in high school who was trying to gain weight because he thought he was too skinny. But no matter how much ice cream he ate he never put on a pound. He was really annoyed by that. His mom was annoyed too because no matter how much ice cream she didn't eat she never lost a pound. :laugh:

[catz]

My kid was exactly this size at age 12.  One thing was fitness activities.  He got muscular and wiry instead just scrawny, skinny.  And now at 13, he's not a giant (5'1" 88 lbs), but he's growing out of pants in the waist for the first time EVER (no joke - I have pulled size 6-8 shorts out of his drawer for retirement in the last year) and is showing even more muscle.  He's gained like 15 lbs in the last year, and for years he was just crawling up pound by pound.  It took him like 7 years to get from 50 to 75 lbs.  He did naturally start eating more at some point too.  If the look of his body is really bothering him, I'd push the fitness angle and not necessarily more food.  Active kids eat more naturally.

[Gil]

I don't have any answers.

We were in the store one time and there was some muscled, beefy guy in front of us and a bunch of lean, muscular college kids and then me and the boys. My son Pal gazed around at all the athletically built, weight lifting fellows and asked me,

"Gil, can I be strong when I grow up?"

"What? What are you talking about, Pal?"

"I said 'can I be strong when I grow up' Like, muscley-strong? or will I have to be like you?"

*sigh*

"Son," I told him, "you can be whatever you want to be, when you grow up..."

"So I don't have to be wimpy looking?"

"No, son, you don't."

"Even if its in my genes?"

"....*sigh*...No, Pal, even if its in your genes."

"Okay, good."

 

I have never had body-image issues, but I came pretty close that day!

[Mandylubug]

My son is 11 and weighs 54#s. He desperately wants to gain. He is in gymnastics and is active. He is on meds that suppresses his appetite but he was just as tiny before starting meds. Our doctor says to add extra protein and fats. He suggested hard boiled eggs and extra bacon. PBnJ sandwich before bed. 5 meals or at least some form of snack every two hours.

[gaillardia]

You did say he hates being skinny and not so much that you are worried about it. It has an effect on how they feel about themselves and if he wants to gain weight or not look skinny then help him. My sons haven't turned into body-builder looking guys. They are still thin but they look good.

[mom31257]

Hate is probably too strong a word for it. He says playing rough hurts him more than the other boys he knows, and I think he wants to be 'tougher'.

[Crimson Wife]

My brothers were scrawny as kids and teens but finally started to gain muscle in their 20's. It took a LOT of hours spent strength training at the gym and my brother who had been the varsity cross-country athlete had to cut back on his running (he still likes to run, but he no longer goes 10 miles at a time). They went from being 135 and 140 at 5'7" and 5'8" to around 150. They are still thin but wiry rather than scrawny.

[Gil]

 

The body image thing gets really personal after the hormones kick in. Or when your son calls you a wimp in the store, infront of the varsity athletics dept. and local body builder :lol:

 

[Donna]

Haven't read all the replies but my ds was not even on growth charts until his teen years. He was under 68lb at 11yo and tiny (we know because dd is wearing a sweatshirt with his wrestling weight class on it and a date). In 8th grade he started lifting weights and eating a lot of protein (boiled chicken, tuna, fish, occasionally a protein bar though I didn't approve of that as an option) to build himself up and get stronger for wrestling. He still has very little body fat (I think around 2-3% when last checked) and isn't the tallest guy (there are some short genes on both sides of the family) but he has built muscle and is no longer skinny. 

[mom31257]

So lifting weights is okay for young teen boys? I thought younger teens shouldn't life weights, but is that just kids or is it the actual amount of weight that matters?

 

Would it hurt to go ahead and increase the protein intake now? He likes eggs, peanut butter, cheese, etc., but he doesn't eat large amounts of any of those. We tend to eat small amounts of meat at our meals because of cost. He loves popcorn, fruit, and any kind of cracker, so there's not much protein there. 

[Joyofsixreboot]

He sounds pretty normal to me.  I do have 2 boys that are in the underweight category.  Nothing has really worked for them.  The now 20 yo (6'4" 155 lb) lifts weights and eats as much calorie dense food as he can. He's managed to gain 5 pounds in a year.  Some people are just thin and will be glad in middle age.  I know that doesn't help him feel better now.  I would explain how he is the normal one and it is our society that is too heavy that makes him stand out.  Make it into a positive.

[Kim in Appalachia]

So lifting weights is okay for young teen boys? I thought younger teens shouldn't life weights, but is that just kids or is it the actual amount of weight that matters?

 

Would it hurt to go ahead and increase the protein intake now? He likes eggs, peanut butter, cheese, etc., but he doesn't eat large amounts of any of those. We tend to eat small amounts of meat at our meals because of cost. He loves popcorn, fruit, and any kind of cracker, so there's not much protein there. 

 

 

In the past, weights were discouraged for teens.  The thinking is changing, but there is not much science behind any of it.  I think weights for teens is not the greates idea.  Poor form can lead to injury, especially in growing kids.

 

But a teen can do body weight exercises.  Push-ups and pull-ups, squats, lunges, planks, etc....  There are programs online (like at BreakingMuscle.com) that help with progression.  You can gain a lot of muscle using just body weight. 

 

I have skinny boys, my oldest doesn't seem to care, my 2nd son cares more.:) The church we attend has lots of beefy college guys, so the boys see that a lot and I'm sure it influences them.  I know it did our friend's son.  He works out daily.

[Scarlett]

My son is 6"1 and about 150. He is lean....I think he looks great but I prefer that look...he has some friends who tell him he is too skinny and it does bug him at times....but bugs him more that he is not as strong as his friends and his step brother. He is getting weights soon and hopefully that will help. I try to keep reminding him that there is an overweight epidemic in this country and he should be glad he doesn't have to worry about that.

[Beth S]

Our teen guys are also skinny.  May be a bit self-conscious about it, but they are thankful to not be overweight, though, too.  They weight-lift each night using a pair of 10# dumbells and do repetitive curls & arm lifts, etc. to build up strength and mass in their arms.  This is not dead-lifting 200 pounds at the gym.

They also do situps and pull ups. 

We emphasize that it's NOT to build their ego, but to give them a bit more muscle mass and deal with the changes in their body.

[In The Great White North]

 

 

So lifting weights is okay for young teen boys? I thought younger teens shouldn't life weights, but is that just kids or is it the actual amount of weight that matters?

 

Usually, coaches advocate body-weight exercises only til they stop growing.

 

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

I have skinny kids, especially my boys.  If his issue is keeping up with his rough housing friends, I would work with him on strength training, but with body-weight alone.  I would be wary of using weights this young.   You would be surprised how much strength and muscle you can build with just body weight.  At the climbing gym, you would be surprised at how many super strong guys there are who never lift weights.  They work their own body weight. Also, eating more protein and fat should help with muscle building. 

[mrsrevmeg]

 

 

But a teen can do body weight exercises.  Push-ups and pull-ups, squats, lunges, planks, etc....  There are programs online (like at BreakingMuscle.com) that help with progression.  You can gain a lot of muscle using just body weight. 

 

 

 

I prefer my skinny boys to do this. My middle son used to be more average sized, but he has hit a growth spurt and now he is just as skinny as his brothers. They eat constantly. The men in my husband's all have one of two builds: tall and skinny, or short and beefy. My husband and his father are on the short and beefy side; our boys, tall and skinny. Push-ups etc. help them go from skinny little wimp looking boys to thin, muscled boys. 

[DawnM]

my husband was 6' and 130 until he hit about age 22. He tried everything to gain and finally got a trainer and gainers fuel to hit 145.

 

I hated being short. Some things are not changeable. Sigh.

[Crimson Wife]

Bands/tubing I think would be safe. At least I hope so because I allow my kids to use them with the EA Active on the Wii.

[FaithManor]

I can relate. My middle boy has a metabolic problem and can't gain weight, either fat or muscle. He's 5'11/5" and weighs 103 lbs. currently. He is under the care of an endocrinologist and the issue is going to keep him out of his first love which is the Air Force. He's very okay with his second choice, majoring in biology and ecology, eventually hoping to work in Great Lakes Ecology and Conservation, but his self esteem has taken a real hit, and we've had to work hard to help him see himself in a better light.

 

I don't have any magic words of wisdom other than to say to keep feeding him encouraging words and complimenting his strengths. Jump on people who tease him for his thinness. I'm really getting tired of teens and adults who think it's okay to constantly make snide remarks to people about their size. It's so rude and damaging, but I see it happening to kids on both side both underweight and overweight. Our culture is very, very harsh. So, do your best to help him find friends that care about him for who he is, and keep finding positive ways to reinforce his self-worth. Skiing has been a big help to our guy. He loves cross country skiing, and is getting decent at it so having a more unusual sport that does not instantly call up the image of "beefy" to most people is helping.

[El...]

I was going to tell all about my perennially skinny little brother, who is very smart, runs like an antelope, has an adventurous, challenging career field and married a gorgeous woman who still loves him after 10 years, just to say that skinny isn't a negative thing.

 

However, as you posted more about how he feels, I wondered, could he study some kind of martial art?   The body-weight strength training involved does something for young men's posture and shape, making them wider in the shoulders than in the waist, and that makes them look less scrawny, especially if they do it right when their testosterone kicks in.  Also, the movement and coordination it builds can help them move more like warriors and less like giraffes. 

 

Different martial arts seem to capitalize on different body shapes.  For example, in Taekwondo, long legs are awesome for their reach!  In goju-ryu karate, short people with a low center of gravity rule (yep, there's my niche!).

 

If that doesn't sound like fun, maybe just some strength training would.  I'm thinking of a book titled You are Your Own Gym for ideas; it is almost all body-weight.  You could look it up first, to see if it would be encouraging or too much. 

[Χά�ων]

Bands/tubing I think would be safe. At least I hope so because I allow my kids to use them with the EA Active on the Wii.

Weights and resistance training has been shown to be safe for prepubescent kids. My son uses weights in his dry land conditioning to target areas that need extra work.  I do not suggest putting a kid in front of a barbell and walking away, they need to be taught and supervised of course.

[umsami]

^^^

 

Yes, I was going to post that.  There are no issues with prepubescent kids using weights.  They believe that maybe 30 years ago, but things have changed.  

 

http://www.protraineronline.com/exercise/strength-training-for-childrena-review-of-research-literature/

[redsquirrel]

he is only 11. Just give it time. On average, Boys have their fastest growth at age 13.5-14.5 (I looked this up for my small boy, lol). He is going to do a LOT of growing over the next couple years. And then he continues to grow until he is in his very late teens to early 20s.

 

Totally true story about my son, who turns 14 in one month.  When he was 10 and 11 (and everything before), he was in the 1-5th percentile for height and weight.  When he was 0-3 he was below the percentile. Then he make it on the chart and then over the next couple years he managed to climb up to the the 5% and that is where he stayed for years.

 

Every year we heard the same thing from the doctor: You are doing a great job growing! If I had 100 boys in the room you would be number 5 in height and that is great! (yes, our family doctor is a sweetie like that)

 

Last year when he was 13 the doctor walked in and said this: You are doing a great job growing. If I had 100 boys in the room you would be number 80 in height, and I triple checked that so I know it is correct!

 

My son has gone from the 5% to the 80% in height and from the 5% of weight to the 40% of weight in 18 months. We didn't do anything, we didn't feed him anything special (except when he is hungry, which is all the time) it was just his time. My son is a ballet dancer so his body is lean and well built, but it didn't make him grow more.

 

So encourage health habits because those last a life time. Now is the time to make it clear that his food choices will help him stay healthy, but how 'tough' he is is largely out of his control. You can pour protein powder down his throat but it's really not going to make that much of a difference. He's not grown up malnourished so his growth is already as good as it can be. Weight lifting is nice, but it isn't going to change the basic design of his body. If he's going to be on the shorter side then all the weight lifting and egg whites won't change that. He's prob going to be about as big his other male family members. You can tell him that you have no doubt he will be about as tall as his dad, maybe a little taller or a little shorter, because that is very likely. And let him know that there are some very big changes coming in the next couple years. Some kids start their growing early, others are a bit later, but they all end up where they are meant to be.

[mom2jjka]

We know this situation all too well, as my 14 yr old DS is 5'5" and just hit 80 lbs.  (He was 65lbs up until last year, and diagnosed failure to thrive)

We had him tested for food allergies and found out he was allergic to a ton of foods.  Once we eliminated those from his diet, his gut started to heal, and he began growing again.  You might want to check with a doc about possible food allergies/intolerance.