If you've been successful at creating a rhythm to your days

[Runningmom80]

Do you have any advice you can share? We have a routine I'd LIKE to stick to, but sadly, it's mostly a pipe dream. I keep thinking that it needs to start with me. Maybe I need to get up earlier and try to get rid of any distractions that I can see getting in the way, laundry, random cleaning, hide my phone and cancel my Internet....

[FriedClams]

With your kid's ages - some days you're along for the ride! LOL!!

 

Some things that have helps me:

School is my job. Everyday we do our schoolwork. Fun comes after. I'm not a taskmaster but we don't skip days for no reason. The default setting is school. Consistency is huge to me. I try to keep all appointments as the absolute first one of the day - or right after lunch. Doctors tend to be more likely on time then...

 

Clean up throughout the day, built in. Straight up after breakfast...after lunch...after school is done...before dinner...after dinner... In my house if we (and I mean WE - the kids are an integral part of the clean up team) don't do mini clean ups (5 minutes usually) throughout the day our house becomes a PIT and I get ugly and stressed out.

 

Chores. I'm a big fan of kids pitching in to help. Gathering laundry, emptying the dishwasher, feeding the dog... Yes, training is a hassle but ITS SO WORTH IT!!! My kids are helpful, in a real, useful way. I'm not a maid, and if I felt like one in my home it wouldn't be a good thing. We're a team. We all make the mess, we all clean it up.

 

Weekly school schedule. We get more done when its on paper. Tons. Less stress for me, and we all feel good when we highlight the list.

 

Meal planning helps me a TON. Even lunch. And breakfast. Less thinking for me and no last minute grocery store runs.

 

If we do stuff out, I try to keep it to one day. We have piano lessons and bible study on Wednesday afternoon. It also used to be story time at the library. This way I plan a light day, but one light day a week with some schoolwork, not 3 half days that are hard to keep my kids focused. We also try and shop, do errands, etc on that day.

[Runningmom80]

Thank you! That's exactly what I was looking for.

[Farrar]

For us, the kids seeing what we're doing for the day really helps.  I put it on the whiteboard, but we've tried different things over the years.

 

I think it is just on the parent mostly.  And for me, I've had to have a distraction ready for myself that isn't intrusive to school.  Because otherwise I don't get the schooling or the thing I'm doing done, you know?  There's a lot of off time when I can't really do anything else.  But I also can't get up and walk away or start anything too engrossing.  I usually do sudoku.

[Queen_Zarga]

I've only been at this HS thing a couple of years, but I finally feel like we have a schedule that is working. M-Th is pretty strict. Fridays are looser and often when we get errands done. FWIW, here's what I do.

 

I have our schedule on a google calendar (because my laptop is always on and nearby during school) and have broken our subjects into blocks (e.g. math 9-9:30, language arts 10-11:30). This way we have a little wiggle room if we are running behind, but it also works as a motivator for some play time between subjects. In between subjects I throw in a load of laundry, pay some bills, check facebook, etc.

 

Everyday after lunch we do about 90 minutes of physical activity: swimming, ice skating, a walk/hike or a trip to the park. We've also been known to spend the entire 90 minutes raking and bagging leaves.  :lol:

 

After "PE" everyone has an hour of rest time. Before the kids can come out of their rooms after rest time, their rooms must be picked up. Then we have chores, which take approximately 15 minutes: vacuum the kitchen/family room, dust, clean the bathroom. Since history and science are the favorite subjects around here, my first grader puts up no resistance when we do those in the aftenoon. By 5:00, if all schoolwork has been completed and chores are done (including putting away their laundry, if necessary), the kids get to play Minecraft.

 

OK, now you know my secret: Minecraft. Best. Motivator. Ever.

 

I love being able to cook dinner in relative peace. Minecraft is motivating ME to stick to our schedule. School work is done, my house is clean(er), we all get some breaks during the day.

 

One kid sets the table, one kid clears the table, one kid empties the dishwasher. We swap chores every week.

 

I don't know what I'll do when they get sick of Minecraft.

 

-Z

 

PS   My kids are 6, 4 and 4

[angelmama1209]

we are afternoon schoolers. we just don't get going well in the morning and sometimes my kids wake up and play nicely in their room for a while before i ever see them. and when that happens i hate to disturb the peace. and it's hot here most of the time so they can play outside before it gets sweltering. and the toddler theoretically naps in the afternoon. we are slowly easing back in since the new addition but this is what was working before.

 

6:30/7ish- i get up and do my devotions and computer work before kids get up. i then use the morning time to do my daily chores, room of the day, and dinner prep. sometimes we have an outing around 10 so the morning goes to that. the kids wake when they do- usually between 7 and 10- sometimes all together, sometimes one at a time. they have to do their morning chores before they can eat, then their table chores. then they are free to play- since christmas they are usually one their kindle fires until their time runs out.

 

around noon they do their afternoon chores while i make lunch. we usually eat around 12:30. i read our "morning" basket while they eat. then they do their afternoon table chores while i put the toddler down for her nap. we all come back to the table and do our together work. then i send the 8yo off to do her independent work while i work with the 6 and 4yo at the table. when we're done there they go play while i finish school with the 8yo. if she hasn't finished her independent work yet she returns to that while i do reading with the 6 and 4yo.

 

once that's done i start making dinner. we usually eat around 6:30. then it's bath, evening chores, and bedtime routine. once the kids are in bed (8/8:30), i do my evening work. i have a specific thing to do each night (couponing/shopping list, school prep, bible study, tv show, things like that). if i don't give them an assigned night they often just don't get done and then i'm floundering through the week. i usually go to be around 10/10:30.

[73349]

I started making a note, for school and not for school, of what needs to be done every weekday (a load of laundry; three Rs) and what needs to be done only on certain days (cleaning out the fridge has to be done Monday before the trash goes out) or needs to be assigned a day (Let's do art on Wednesdays), and put them into a grid. Some things need to be done at a certain time of day (If I start the laundry after breakfast, I'll get it put away before DS goes to bed). So that shapes the routine.

Where are you getting off track? Maybe you need to attach something to a certain time? (Other things may flex, but math happens at 10 o'clock? No internet before noon?)

[KSinNS]

I can't stick to a schedule, but we have a rhythmic, routined day, and that works for us. I have a clear plan in mind when I start, and also have a mental list of what to let go of if/when the day goes off the rails. Our lives work around meals, which provide the scaffold for the day. My husband gets breakfast, and I set up for school. I start with school, give the olders their independent work, then do violin with my 3 year old (she's most cooperative then and the baby usually will play and watch). Then I go back and work with the three olders (I have toys and colouring in the schoolroom), DS5 first, then DD7, then DS9. When the others are done, they disappear and usually entertain my bored 3 year old. Somewhere in there I get the baby down for a nap. Once "school" is done (they do lots of other stuff, we just don't call it school). I start in on the violin. I usually do DD7 (because she cooperates) and then lunch (sometimes I try to practice with another kid before lunch depending on the time). After lunch, DS9 and DS5 (he fights so I have more patience for him at the end). Then I dash off to work (T, Th) or violin lessons and back for snack, read-alouds, supper, and DS5s violin if we didn't get it done (MW) then work after supper (DH does the dishes-he rocks!). My husband does laundry, the kids help with lunch and dishes. I keep Fridays free for practice, volunteer work, outings, etc. I'm a pretty relaxed "schooler" but they do lots of school outside of school time with independent reading and discussion, nature studies, art, sports etc. etc. etc. We just tend to do it in fits and starts, and it works for us. When disaster strikes I adjust and leave things out (i've been ill this month so we've dropped read alouds and poetry teatime. We'll fit them back in probably not next week but the week after). With little kids, you do have some give, and we don't have to report dates or anything. 

 

Hope that helps.

[Coco_Clark]

My kids are similarly aged with yours, and our rythm is our life line. The things that I have found mose useful:

 

-Monday is cleaning day. We clean the ENTIRE house and that is the only thing that is expected to get done all day other than morning time (no schoolwork, no appointments, no playdates, an easy dinner and cold breakfast/lunch). The kids switch from helping and breaks but I really do clean for 6 or 7 hours straight. I also do all the laundry. I find this necessary for me because I get distracted by all the nagging things that need to get done, decide to do "one little thing" and then woops 3 hours have passed by. Getting everything clean on Monday starts my week off with a spotless house. It doesnt quite last until the next Monday but it ensures that the rest of the week is just the light upkeep stuff (sweeping, dishes, a single load of laundry because someone peed the bed). I listen to music and podcasts to make it bearable. And we usually bake something nice to have as a treat after.

 

- I wake up an hour before the kids. I drink my coffee and look over our schoolwork/schedule for the day. I put all the morning time books on the couch, and I stack all the afternoon work on a small table right next to our kitchen table. I get dressed and I pray. I check my email and facebook.

 

- Then I turn my internet off. Yep, I turn it off. If its on, I will be on all day, and for some reason that extra step of having to turn the internet back on keeps me off.

 

- When the kids wake up they eat breakfast and then we all head to the couch for morning time. MT is a mix of read alouds I have on rotation; chapter books, nature study, saints lives, science, the bible, artist appreciation, composers. It's a relaxing way to start the day and it relieves me to know that even if we dont get anythign else done we read from a mix of quality books for an hour. I'm convinced I could educate my kids solely with that, if I had to.

 

- We get outside to parks, hikes, playdates, errands in the morning and then come home and do table work after lunch. The kids are tired enough to sit still and they are already at the table. When I tried doing sit down school in the morning it was a disaster. YMMV but afternoon schooling works great for us.

 

- I plan out our next weeks work every Friday. Most of what we do is "do the next thing" but it helps for some reason to write it all out. I'm not married to the schedule, which is why I have to do it every Friday. Often by then we are behind.

[Ellie]

Do you have any advice you can share? We have a routine I'd LIKE to stick to, but sadly, it's mostly a pipe dream. I keep thinking that it needs to start with me. Maybe I need to get up earlier and try to get rid of any distractions that I can see getting in the way, laundry, random cleaning, hide my phone and cancel my Internet....

 

It took about a year for me to find our rhythm, which is about how long it took for my dd to recover from being burned out by Easter vacation of first grade.

 

Our routine, which was immoveable and unchangeable for about four years:

 

Monday and Tuesday: Stay home. No doctors' appointments, no shopping, no field trips, no meeting friends for lunch, no crafts or event talking on the phone for me until after 3 or 4 in the afternoon. S.t.a.y.h.o.m.e. I put any little workbook-y things on the kitchen table, or artsy-craftsy stuff. Children could do them or not.

 

Wednesday: Library. We left the house around 9:30 and went to the library, usually a larger one in the town next door. We hung out and looked at books or other exhibits or whatnot, then came home and had lunch and usually stayed home until at least 3. Once in awhile we visited with friends for lunch, but not on a regular basis. All library books went back to the library ever week, whether they had been read or not.

 

Thursday: Field trip. Every single Thursday without fail, year-round. We did not go on field trips with the support group unless they were on Thursday or they were awesome and could only be done with a larger group. There was only one or two a year that I would do with the group.

 

Friday: Clean house--all the laundry, dusting, move the furniture and vacuum, clean the bathroom, everything. Once a month park day.

[IsabelC]

I find keeping up routines and rhythms quite a challenge, even though I love the idea of them. The most helpful advice I have ever been given is that you can make things easier by 'piggybacking' habits you want to develop or strengthen onto habits that are already well established. If you do y after x every day for long enough, they will eventually stick together as habit xy. We are pretty disorganized, but my kids are almost always hungry, so I tend to relate things to meals (eg Quiet Time is always right after lunch, and dd5 practices violin after quiet time). 

 

The second most helpful thing for me has been the principle of 'schedule everything but don't schedule too much'. The first part means that if something is important enough that you really want to do it, then it's important enough to plan a definite time for doing it. In our house, things on the 'someday / maybe / when we get to it' pile very rarely get done. We have to plan it to make it happen. The second part just means it's better to plan 2 things and do them than to plan 50 things and end up angry, upset and exhausted because it was too unrealistic. You have to build in time for unexpected diversions and disasters. When I have all my kids at home, I literally don't plan for much more than half the actual time I have, because I know that one kid will have toileting 'issues', one will have an hour-long meltdown, and one will get the hairbrush so enmeshed in her hair that it takes 15 minutes to untangle. Plus we'll have sick guinea pigs, head lice, phone calls that need to be answered because I've been waiting for them, the bathroom flooding and and a mommy tantrum brewing because the Midnight Pencil Eater has been and removed every. &%$^#. pencil in the house lol. 

[minuway]

My kids are similar to your ages - 9, 7, 5, and 3 - I do a lot of what FriedClams said!

 

Just to add - I look at my day in large-ish chunks. Its a routine, not a schedule. So you don't need to be freaking out over the specific time, just that one thing will naturally follow the next. So for us, we get up, have breakfast, Dad leaves, we do morning chores (basically just getting dressed), start school work. We do that until lunch and pretty much if we're not done that's all that gets done - I don't go into the afternoon. Before lunch we have to clear away all the school stuff because we work in the kitchen - so its forced clean up time!

 

After lunch we read some not specifically school related books (mostly for the benefit of my younger ones - sometimes my olders will wonder already reading their own books), then have afternoon quiet time for 2 hours (roughly 1-3). This is so important to my sanity. I could not homeschool if I didn't do it.  I used to feel bad taking a full two hours, but I saw Susan Wise Bauer's quiet time video on youtube and thought if SWB did it, it must be ok! I'm such a fangirl, lol....

 

After that we have "afternoon tea" (snack time) and play time for the rest of the afternoon until about an hour before dinner. I usually do my housework while they are playing.  At that time I call them in for chores. I give them each a "big" chore - I don't do chore charts because I just can't keep up with them. I just hand out a chore. Its something like "pick up the living room/hallway," or something like that. They also put away any clothes that are waiting in baskets, and straighten up their rooms. I start dinner during their chore time and lightly supervise. After their chore time they take baths if needed, or "help" with dinner (you know what the air quotes mean), play board games or might get some screen time like minecraft or iPad time (but only if they have gotten everything done).  

 

I also try to limit morning stuff - that's school time. If we leave in the morning, I know from experience we just won't get anything done. If its a field trip, fine, but for Doctor appointments or playdates, I try to schedule them in the afternoon - same for activities. I generally limit activities. Right now we just do music lessons for my older two, and will probably add one more thing in soon.  I like them having plenty of free play time. 

 

I try not to shop on school days - I aim to do it on the weekends and go without kids. If I have to go during the week, I suck it up and go in the afternoon. Protect the morning! 

 

I also have a week schedule like many have mentioned - for us, Fridays are our library and park days. We hit the library and then go meet friends at the park. We have a light morning that day, and just plan to do notebooking, so its a fun day. 

[WTMCassandra]

I haven't had time to read the replies. Now, I never had twins, so you're going to have to be really flexible.  But I popped in to this thread to say that we always started with math and then Latin (starting in third grade--before that it was phonics), which became very engrained over the years. The result is that it is so automatic that no one thinks to protest doing math (no one's favorite subject). And if math and Latin happened, I felt like we had succeeded, no matter if no other subjects happened that day. So that habit is continuing to deliver dividends.

[coffeegal]

School in the mornings. We have an official start time of 9 am, but my older kids are usually pulling out books by 7am. All activities and outings are in the afternoon. Fridays are a turn-around day. We wrap up the school week with discussions, tests, papers due, etc. I also post the assignments for the next week and supervise the scheduling. Each of my older children fill out their own planner. This way we're set for a 7 am start on Monday morning, or an enthusiastic child getting a head start over the weekend.

 

Cleaning... I'm playing with a new cleaning schedule that has me doing some of the daily cleaning after breakfast and finishing it up after lunch. It seems to work better than trying to do it all in one great big lump. We have a big tidy up after dinner that gets the house back in order.

[Runningmom80]

These are all awesome ideas! I'm definitely not looking for a schedule, just a "flow" to our day. School isn't too bad actually, my twins got to Montessori preschool everyday until noon, so we get school done then. (I'll admit I mostly did this for the benefit of me and my older boy, it was chaos before they were in school. They are thriving there though so it turned out to be a really good decision.) It's the afternoons that usually fall apart. I think I need to schedule days for things like most of you are saying. We go out haphazardly, grocery shopping, library, it all just happens whenever, and I think that really throws me off.

[Plink]

These are all fantastic ideas.

 

Have you ever tried backwards planning? It helps me to be realistic in my expectations. Here is a quick review of how I do it daily, but I use the same process when looking at our week, year, and even their entire school career. http://www.libertyhillhouse.com/2012/07/09/backwards-planning-organizing/

[RootAnn]

It really does help to get up early as painful as it is. Throw in a load of laundry right after your shower, too. It should be ready to pop into the dryer after breakfast.

 

I'll echo that "meal planning" is huge at our house. We used to plan lunch & supper when DH was home, but now it is just the evening meal. It is really helpful to be able to look at the notebook that has the meals laid out for the week (or the next two weeks) and know what to move from the freezer to the refrigerator to thaw and what I still need to pick up from the grocery store if we are out of it in order to make this week's meals. It isn't set in stone as we've been known to move them from day to day or week to week or just have leftovers or pick up a pizza on a bad day. But, most days, it works great. We have a 'pasta day' & a 'mexican day' where we rotate through spaghetti/manicotti/lasagna or soft tacos/nachos/cheesy soft tacos/hard tacos/bread bowls. 

[Tracy]

Routines, simplification, and delegation.  Those are the things that work best for us.  

 

First, you have to minimize what you do and let some subjects do double-duty.  For example, history is our reading.  Also, I currently don't do a full grammar program, because grammar is touched on in SWR and WWE.  We just do Grammarland 1x/week, and we will start MCT next year (4th grade).  I also don't do a separate handwriting program, but just include handwriting in SWR and WWE.  I don't do science, because dh is a physics teacher, and they know a lot of science just by spending time with him.  I also limit the amount of outside activities as much as I can.  The kids are allowed one major extracurricular activity at a time.  My piano teacher comes to my house, so that doesn't count.  We have a play group that meets 2x/month.  We try to combine library trips with play dates.  The moms try to sign up their kids for the same activities/classes so we can carpool, and the kids can see each other more often.  I try to have at least 1 day each week where we don't have to leave the house.  There are certain seasons where that doesn't happen, like baseball, for example.  But because of that, I don't allow year-round team sports.  My ds is still really young, so I don't know how long I can keep that up, but for now, it works for us.  

 

Everyone has a morning routine, including me.  For a long time, my kids needed charts to get through their morning routines, but now it is (nearly) automatic.  They know we do not eat until they are dressed, hair brushed, beds made, pets fed.  I shower every morning and wipe down the shower afterward.  This saves me a ton of time cleaning the shower.  After breakfast, I put away clean dishes and load dirty ones, throw a load of laundry in the washing machine, and swish the toilets and wipe down the counter and toilet.  It took me almost a year for this to become automatic, but my bathrooms are always minimally presentable because of it.  And my laundry doesn't build up if I do it every day.  And if I am on top of this stuff when our life is normal, it is not so traumatizing when we get sick or busy.  

 

We have the same school routine every day.  The hard stuff gets done before lunch (spelling & math).  They get substantial breaks during which I do daily record-keeping, plan lessons for the next day/week, or put away laundry.  If we have time, we do more so we have more time in the afternoon to play.  They have to finish school work and put away toys before I allow any screen time.  If I enforce this daily, it is easy.  When I let it go, it becomes too much for them, and then I have to help them.  

 

Before bed, I clean out my kitchen sink, start the dishwasher, set out my clothes for the next day, and set up the kids' school charts for the next day.  

 

I see life skills as a part of homeschooling, so I have delegated some things to my kids, and this has been a great boon to me.  They do their own laundry together 1x/week.  I only fold the clothes for them.  My oldest helps keep the kids' bathroom clean.  They generally clean up their own stuff.  They occasionally sweep the kitchen for me.  They help their dad in the garden in the summer and with the shoveling in the winter.  I need to get them doing more things, like cooking, setting the table, putting dishes away, but we still have lots of time, as mine are still quite young.  

 

 

ETA:  In the past, I have done Once-a-Month cooking, and it has been a real boon for our family to have a month's worth of meals in the freezer.  My health doesn't allow me to do that right now, so we are currently struggling there.  

[lea_lpz]

We set aside m-f from 8-12 as our school time. I try not to schedule anything during those hours and treat it like work hours. I also limit us to 2 afterschool activities a week that don't start until 4 pm. That means if we finish school by noon I have a 4 hours to do errands, paperwork, housework, etc.

 

I find if we are booked every afternoon the household slides or we end up scheduling dr appts in the morning so we don't miss a lesson / club but end up falling behind in school.

 

At first I was a lot more lenient with doing stuff during our normal school time but I have realized that is not helpful because if I think I will do it in the afternoon I usually won't :).

 

We do skill based subjects 4-5 days a week.

 

M-F: Bible, Lang, Math, Span (with these being much shorter / relaxed on Friday)

M-Th: read alouds (lit)

M: art & music

Tu: science

W: history

Th: lit. related / writing assignments

F: hands on crafts, baking, or messy art, field trips or park days or nature walk / nature journaling

and maybe catching up on things we didn't get to during the week

[KeriJ]

My kids are similar to your ages - 9, 7, 5, and 3 - I do a lot of what FriedClams said!

 

Just to add - I look at my day in large-ish chunks. Its a routine, not a schedule. So you don't need to be freaking out over the specific time, just that one thing will naturally follow the next. So for us, we get up, have breakfast, Dad leaves, we do morning chores (basically just getting dressed), start school work. We do that until lunch and pretty much if we're not done that's all that gets done - I don't go into the afternoon. Before lunch we have to clear away all the school stuff because we work in the kitchen - so its forced clean up time!

 

After lunch we read some not specifically school related books (mostly for the benefit of my younger ones - sometimes my olders will wonder already reading their own books), then have afternoon quiet time for 2 hours (roughly 1-3). This is so important to my sanity. I could not homeschool if I didn't do it.  I used to feel bad taking a full two hours, but I saw Susan Wise Bauer's quiet time video on youtube and thought if SWB did it, it must be ok! I'm such a fangirl, lol....

 

After that we have "afternoon tea" (snack time) and play time for the rest of the afternoon until about an hour before dinner. I usually do my housework while they are playing.  At that time I call them in for chores. I give them each a "big" chore - I don't do chore charts because I just can't keep up with them. I just hand out a chore. Its something like "pick up the living room/hallway," or something like that. They also put away any clothes that are waiting in baskets, and straighten up their rooms. I start dinner during their chore time and lightly supervise. After their chore time they take baths if needed, or "help" with dinner (you know what the air quotes mean), play board games or might get some screen time like minecraft or iPad time (but only if they have gotten everything done).  

 

I also try to limit morning stuff - that's school time. If we leave in the morning, I know from experience we just won't get anything done. If its a field trip, fine, but for Doctor appointments or playdates, I try to schedule them in the afternoon - same for activities. I generally limit activities. Right now we just do music lessons for my older two, and will probably add one more thing in soon.  I like them having plenty of free play time. 

 

I try not to shop on school days - I aim to do it on the weekends and go without kids. If I have to go during the week, I suck it up and go in the afternoon. Protect the morning! 

 

I also have a week schedule like many have mentioned - for us, Fridays are our library and park days. We hit the library and then go meet friends at the park. We have a light morning that day, and just plan to do notebooking, so its a fun day. 

 

This is almost exactly how we do things.  But I love your before dinner chore time.  That is one hour of the day that I haven't quite gotten a rhythm to yet.  Off to ponder this. :)

 

ETA: and thank you for reminding me of SWB's youtube video about rest time.  I watched it again and no longer feel "guilty" for making mine have "nap time" every day. :)

[My3girls]

We're in our first year and have had some major changes. I worked full time as IT help desk the first semester so we schooled in the evenings. I was let go right before Christmas so we took a couple of weeks off to regroup. I think a month into second semester were finally getting a new routine going.

 

We all are up by 8. I go to the gym, and the youngers play in daycare there while dd12 gets some alone time which she needs. We start school by 11. We're done by 3 and do chores; basic stuff like dishes, catbox, pickup, take out trash, etc... Some days we have extracurriculars and some days not so they play outside from 4-6. Dinner is 6-7. 7-8 is TV/Internet time. Homework starts at 8. Whatever didn't get finished during the day is homework. Then showers and bed. Youngers are in bed by 9 and dd12 by 10. I work on real estate school from 9-11. I fit in errands, phone calls etc.. while kids are doing chores and playing. Friday, I don't go to the gym in the morning so we do school earlier and clean house in the afternoon. It's when I get big items done like bathrooms, strip beds, dust, vacuum, etc... I do one load of laundry every night before bed. The rest is done Sunday while I get the next week's lessons together.

 

Once I get my real estate license, I will probably have to tweak some more, but I don't think too terribly much since I anticipate a bulk of my work will be done on the weekends.

[srs]

We have been in a great groove for awhile, with ages 6,4, and 1:

 

My husband and I get up first, and spend some time checking email, etc. When the first kid gets up, screens go off and stay off until after lunch, unless schoolwork runs past that, and then screens off until schoolwork is over. We keep the screens off in the mornings on the weekends, too. It is the heart of the routine. I need some time for me where it is off limits, too.

 

Then it is breakfast, morning chores, and schoolwork.  Schoolwork starts at 10am, and usually lasts until lunch. After lunch, big kids get to watch Netflix while the youngest naps and I read WTM forums. When she gets up, we try to go outside or run errands, more housework, etc.

 

My husband teases me for being so scheduled, but I love it. Everyone knows what to expect, and we get the important stuff done.

[Runningmom80]

Thank you all!  I'm drinking some coffee and writing up a tenative routine for the week.  Of course my twins didn't have preschool today, so the rhythm we followed was more like fast jazz. ;)

[Ellie]

Do you have any advice you can share? We have a routine I'd LIKE to stick to, but sadly, it's mostly a pipe dream. I keep thinking that it needs to start with me. Maybe I need to get up earlier and try to get rid of any distractions that I can see getting in the way, laundry, random cleaning, hide my phone and cancel my Internet....

 

Oh, let me also say that there were a few routines I already had in place when we started homeschooling:

 

I take my shower at night (when Mr. Ellie is home, so he can be the parent). When I wake up, I make my bed right away and get dressed before I leave my bedroom. (I wash my hair in the morning in the kitchen sink. None of us has died because I wash my hair in the kitchen sink, lol.) I clean the kitchen *immediately* after a meal no matter what, and I never, ever leave the kitchen dirty when I go to bed. So when I get up in the morning and get dressed and make my bed, I come out to a clean kitchen. It feels as if half my housework is completed for the day--shower, bed made, clothes on, clean kitchen. :-)

 

Also, when the dc get up, we have hugs and stuff, and they get dressed right away, too. After breakfast, we're all ready for the day, even if we're just staying home because it's Monday or Tuesday. We're ready to go in a nanosecond just by putting on shoes.

 

The reason I do laundry on Fridays (and once a week works fine for us) is that (1), I don't want to be doing laundry on the weekends, but (2) I want us to all have clean undies for church on Sunday morning, and (3) on Monday morning, I want us to ease into the week instead of having to do laundry (see my daily routine above).

 

I usually did my grocery shopping in the evening when Mr. Ellie was home so I could get in and get out; I did not feel the need to make shopping an educational experience by bringing the dc along. They were probably, oh, 10ish before I took them with me.

[RootAnn]

ETA: and thank you for reminding me of SWB's youtube video about rest time.  I watched it again and no longer feel "guilty" for making mine have "nap time" every day. :)

 

We call it "quiet time" so they know they don't need to nap and the older ones don't complain. (Note that we only do it on Sundays, but it is cherished here by the parents!)

[mamamindy]

I always love hearing how others are surviving. ;)

 

We do a lot of these same things.  I am finding that lately I am needing to remind myself that just because it isn't easy doesn't mean I need to change things - some seasons of life just aren't easy.  That's just me right now.

[Runningmom80]

Oh, let me also say that there were a few routines I already had in place when we started homeschooling:

 

I take my shower at night (when Mr. Ellie is home, so he can be the parent). When I wake up, I make my bed right away and get dressed before I leave my bedroom. (I wash my hair in the morning in the kitchen sink. None of us has died because I wash my hair in the kitchen sink, lol.) I clean the kitchen *immediately* after a meal no matter what, and I never, ever leave the kitchen dirty when I go to bed. So when I get up in the morning and get dressed and make my bed, I come out to a clean kitchen. It feels as if half my housework is completed for the day--shower, bed made, clothes on, clean kitchen. :-)

 

Also, when the dc get up, we have hugs and stuff, and they get dressed right away, too. After breakfast, we're all ready for the day, even if we're just staying home because it's Monday or Tuesday. We're ready to go in a nanosecond just by putting on shoes.

 

The reason I do laundry on Fridays (and once a week works fine for us) is that (1), I don't want to be doing laundry on the weekends, but (2) I want us to all have clean undies for church on Sunday morning, and (3) on Monday morning, I want us to ease into the week instead of having to do laundry (see my daily routine above).

 

I usually did my grocery shopping in the evening when Mr. Ellie was home so I could get in and get out; I did not feel the need to make shopping an educational experience by bringing the dc along. They were probably, oh, 10ish before I took them with me.

 

 

My mom used to wash her hair in the kitchen sink all the time, and mine and my sister's as well.  I haven't thought about that in years, it was a random thing you mentioned but it made me smile to think of that.

 

Thank you for your advice.

[Runningmom80]

We call it "quiet time" so they know they don't need to nap and the older ones don't complain. (Note that we only do it on Sundays, but it is cherished here by the parents!)

 

I've tried quiet time, and it's chaos in the twins' room.  I tried it for a couple of weeks, I would just go in and lay them back down, I gave them books, etc.  Nothing worked.  MaybeI need a separate thread for this. :lol:

[mamamindy]

I've tried quiet time, and it's chaos in the twins' room.  I tried it for a couple of weeks, I would just go in and lay them back down, I gave them books, etc.  Nothing worked.  MaybeI need a separate thread for this. :lol:

I would highly encourage the nap/quiet time.  Is there any way you could split them up?  Even if one is on the couch?  We have done everything possible to keep this going in our home. :)

[robsiew]

When your kids are so young it's tough!  I use a lot of curriculum that is "do the next thing" so it makes it easier for my kids to know what to do.  Most of the time I have a check list for them as well to keep them accountable.  My kids are old enough to do chores so most of the household tasks are delegated out as chores to them.  I see you unschool so not sure if that is helpful for you or not.  The other thing I've learned is not to stress out over school when they are 7!   Read a lot and get the basics of being literate down.  That will go a long way!  I also learned to hold to my plan loosely.

[MerryAtHope]

Well, young children are not always predictable! But I did find they did better with some structure and routine built into their days. Start with just part of a day's routine, and add on. I used to take several weeks to gear up to my "full" routine. That helped e see what parts were unrealistic or wouldn't work, and what things I needed to do instead.

I have a 4-part series on my blog on setting up a routine, starting with Priorities and Passions. Hope you find it helpful!

 

Merry :-)

[birchbark]

I've found that young kids really enjoy having a rhythm to the day or week. For a while I had a weekly meal schedule posted, and the kids loved making cinnamon toast for breakfast (for instance), because that's what the schedule had for that particular morning!

 

It really is about making life easier, not harder. We've had to add designated days (shopping day, laundry days, etc.) as we've added babies to keep from chaos. I think the key is to work with your natural tendencies as much as possible. For instance, I am not a morning person, and a routine based on a relaxed morning is what works. Our mornings consist of getting up, breakfast, chores, and read-aloud time. My oldest will usually get his math done while I'm taking care of the other kids, but other than that, our academics are done in the afternoon.

 

Since we have long cold winters, we have found it works well to allow our kids a big chunk of free time in the middle of the day so that they can go outside and take advantage of the warmest, brightest part of the day. When we used to press straight through until we were done, the kids didn't get outside until it was starting to get dark, and the littlest ones weren't getting out at all since they were usually napping when we finished school. It's become second nature for the kids to bundle up when they're done with lunch and head outside.

 

Anyway, you can try different things until you find something that clicks for you. That is the secret to a faithful routine.

 

And I also need to turn off my internet during school hours. :)

[lea_lpz]

we do rest time too!  my schedule is something like this:

 

M-Th

7 am- wake up, I get dressed and do my chores and make breakfast while the kids do theirs; they should be dressed, beds made, chores done by 8 am

8 am- breakfast and clean up

8:30 am- start school...usually.....

              8:30-8:50: Daily Drill- calander, weather chart, # jar / sheet, chore chart, poetry for recitation

              8:50-9:00: Bible 

              9:00-9:30: Lang arts for 1st grader / letter of the week stuff for pre-k'er

              9:30-9:45: math lesson for 1st grader / starfall for pre-k'er

              9:45- 10:00: Read alouds- read 3-4 children's picture books on various topics we are studying, varies, could be science, math lit, or winter 

                                   themed, related to a holiday, etc. 

              10:00-10:30: AM snack and recess

              10:30-10:45: Spanish (unless its Tu or Fri where we need to spend a bit of time in the car in which case we practice our Spanish CD for 15

                                    minutes in the car instead) 

              10:45-11:30: Electives such as art & music M, science Tu, history Wed, lit related projects / narration / creative writing Th

              11:30-1: Outdoor time or free play while I do some chores and make lunch, eat lunch, everyone helps clean up after lunch

              1:00-1:30: Read Alouds from a chapter book / relaxing together in bed

              1:30-3:00: nap time / quiet time, mom either does chores, paperwork, homework, or perhaps naps herself for about an hour (I am 7 months

                               pregnant).  I usually shower in the afternoon whle the kids nap.        

               3:30-5:00: free play or outside time or errands or after school activity 2x a week (those nights I make dinner in a crockpot during our lunch 

                                 break instead so when we get home dinner is already ready and house is already picked up)

               5:00-6:30: evening chores for mom and kids for about 30 min to an hour and then mom makes dinner while kids get some tv time or play              

                                 board games at table while I make dinner

               6:30-7:00: family dinner

               7:00-7:30: family pick up of kitchen, pick up things, put away laundry, etc. 

               7:30-8:30: family time, usually watch a family movie or program together or a game night

               8:30-9:00: bath, book, and bed routine 

              

I also try to go to sleep to a clean kitchen and house that's been pick up so everything is in its place that way I only have to make the bed, get a load of laundry in the wash and the wet clothes in the dryer, get myself dressed, make coffee and make breakfast.  

              

      

 

 

[Runningmom80]

I really l love all of this advice, thank you so much! My twins don't have preschool again today, it will be a true test to my ability to stay the course. :)

[ezrabean2005]

Our days are the same:

 

Wake up at 5am, leave for work.  We get to the café at 6am.  Both DS8 and I do chores to open the store (he stocks the shelves, I start the machines).  He eats breakfast while I help the early customers that come between 6:30am and 8am.  At 8am we start schoolwork.  The best part of our plan is that he knows what to do when I am (inevitably) interrupted by customers.  This was a valuable missing piece that was needed for peace and productivity.

 

We work through our day, with each subject taking between 15 and 30 minutes (sometimes longer, depending on interest).  It helped me to have a schedule to see how much to do each day for our lessons.  It helps me to see that we are making progress each day and not worry that we didn't do much just because it may have "felt easier" that day.

 

By noon, we are done with lessons and DS8 has lunch.  Then we usually will play card / board games between customers or he will read or build legos or snap circuits.  As soon as he is done for the day (usually while he is eating), I look through what tomorrow's lessons are to make sure I understand what I am doing and I make a list of any needed materials I need to have ready on a post it note.

 

We close each day at 2 or 3pm and then we are done with both schoolwork and work for the day.

[Momling]

What helps is always starting at the same time (8:30) and not getting overenthusiastic about subjects.  We do only 5 subjects and we generally do it in the same order every day from heaviest to lightest.

[Blessed Mommy]

With your kid's ages - some days you're along for the ride! LOL!!

 

Some things that have helps me:

School is my job. Everyday we do our schoolwork. Fun comes after. I'm not a taskmaster but we don't skip days for no reason. The default setting is school. Consistency is huge to me. I try to keep all appointments as the absolute first one of the day - or right after lunch. Doctors tend to be more likely on time then...

 

Clean up throughout the day, built in. Straight up after breakfast...after lunch...after school is done...before dinner...after dinner... In my house if we (and I mean WE - the kids are an integral part of the clean up team) don't do mini clean ups (5 minutes usually) throughout the day our house becomes a PIT and I get ugly and stressed out.

 

Chores. I'm a big fan of kids pitching in to help. Gathering laundry, emptying the dishwasher, feeding the dog... Yes, training is a hassle but ITS SO WORTH IT!!! My kids are helpful, in a real, useful way. I'm not a maid, and if I felt like one in my home it wouldn't be a good thing. We're a team. We all make the mess, we all clean it up.

 

Weekly school schedule. We get more done when its on paper. Tons. Less stress for me, and we all feel good when we highlight the list.

 

Meal planning helps me a TON. Even lunch. And breakfast. Less thinking for me and no last minute grocery store runs.

 

If we do stuff out, I try to keep it to one day. We have piano lessons and bible study on Wednesday afternoon. It also used to be story time at the library. This way I plan a light day, but one light day a week with some schoolwork, not 3 half days that are hard to keep my kids focused. We also try and shop, do errands, etc on that day.

 

THIS!!!

 

The only thing I would add is that I get up and get myself completely ready for the day BEFORE my kids get up.  They are required to stay in their beds until 7:30.  If they are awake before then, they can read books.  If this rule is broken, they are sent back to bed and cannot get up until 8:00.  Preparing myself in peace, and being completely ready to take on the day BEFORE the kids are up, makes my entire day run smoothly, and helps my attitude/mood immensely!

[lea_lpz]

Another thing I try to do is have the whole family clean the house together, kids included, on either Sat or Sun morning. Kids can help a lot! My 4 year old actually cleans the toilet, wipes the bathroom surfaces and mirrors by himself, lol. We can be done in 1 hr with every one working together. About 1x a month we do a more deep cleaning and that takes maybe 2 if everyone helps. I also do a grocery trip on the weekend so I can go alone or dh tags along with kids. I also clean out the fridge before making my list and make a dinner menu for the week which is posted on the fridge. I usually make dinner but on the rare occasion I can't get home at a decent time I have come home to dh making the "right dinner" without me:). It honestly doesn't cut too much into our free time. We usually still get to go on hike or do some sort of family outing each weekend :). We usually just either do it all one day or knock it out in 2 mornings to have out day free by say noon.

 

I make sure dh understands that homeschooling, my own school part time and taking kids to activities and doing things with them (which he loves that I do) is like a full time job, so it's not realistic to expect me to keep all these things up if I also doing all the cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry. During the week I make dinner and keep the house tidied by making sure dishes out done, things in their place, getting a load of laundry a day done, but that's it.

[IsabelC]

I feel vindicated to see so many people do rest time. My ds gave me a lecture yesterday about how he shouldn't have to have Quiet Time because normal people don't have it once they stop afternoon naps.

[FriedClams]

My kids are 11 and 12 and I still have quiet time. We always have and I cannot imagine homeschooling without it!! Yes, again, training time is involved, but it saved my sanity. It still does. I think it also taught my kids a valuable lesson about productively filling empty time and not needing to be entertained 24/7.

 

When mine were little, 4/5, they could be on their bed with books. 95% of the time they'd take a short nap out of boredom. (We'd have QT for 2 hours). Later it was book or bed. You could read or nap. They read. I'd let them pick from our stacks of library books and send them to their rooms. No toys or electronics. They read voraciously. I'd stay in the living room or somewhere I could check on them. My rule was - ask if QT is over and I restart the clock.

 

As they got older I had QT and they'd finish up piano and schoolwork, and play quietly. They know the drill. I read, surf, nap. Alone. It's an hour or two to recharge, be quiet, rest.

 

I totally agree with the separate rooms idea. At 3 mine still napped daily. They needed it. When they got older we all needed QT.

[KeriJ]

I feel vindicated to see so many people do rest time. My ds gave me a lecture yesterday about how he shouldn't have to have Quiet Time because normal people don't have it once they stop afternoon naps.

I actually had mine watch the SWB quiet time video to show them that other families do it too! :)  They liked the video.

[IsabelC]

I actually had mine watch the SWB quiet time video to show them that other families do it too! :)  They liked the video.

 

Is that a free download or something you have to buy?

[Alte Veste Academy]

Is that a free download or something you have to buy?

 

 

[Runningmom80]

So how do I go about starting this? They completely gave up their naps when they started preschool. Also, they are gone every day 9-12, I hate to make them also do quiet time for any extended period of time, I'll barely see them. Lol

[Runningmom80]

I really appreciate all the replies, I've been implementing your advice here and there. I'm looking forward to the weekend so I can organize and declutter.

[lea_lpz]

So how do I go about starting this? They completely gave up their naps when they started preschool. Also, they are gone every day 9-12, I hate to make them also do quiet time for any extended period of time, I'll barely see them. Lol

I think this might be your problem....where are they 9-12? Are they also busy in the afternoons? This would leave you very limited time to school with kids these ages. I mean 1-4 maybe is what you have to work with?

[73349]

So how do I go about starting this? They completely gave up their naps when they started preschool. Also, they are gone every day 9-12, I hate to make them also do quiet time for any extended period of time, I'll barely see them. Lol

 

Quiet time does not have to be 2 hours (and even if you want it to be, it's not a good idea to do it cold turkey with young kids). I started DS at half an hour, with quiet toys to play with and books to look at, and a little reward every three days that he stayed in his room (except if he had to go to the bathroom) and did not call for me. His clock changes color when time's up.

 

I slowly worked up to more time (eventually 90 minutes), and after a couple of months, the rewards did not matter much. (I now do something like an extra treat on Sunday if he's done well all week). We do it 7 days a week, and I intend to continue indefinitely. That guarantees him some time to pursue his own unplugged interests and me a quiet break.

 

If they are gone all morning, don't send them to their rooms all afternoon, but consider 30-60 minutes of quiet for them.

[Runningmom80]

I think this might be your problem....where are they 9-12? Are they also busy in the afternoons? This would leave you very limited time to school with kids these ages. I mean 1-4 maybe is what you have to work with?

Twins are in Montessori daily 9-12. During this time I do school with the 7 year old. I don't do "school" with the twins.

[Runningmom80]

A short quiet time would be good for them. My dd could probably still use a nap.

 

 

I think my subconscious guilt ( that I'm just now realizing I have) convinced me that they shouldn't have to stay in their rooms for quiet time when I send them to school everyday.

 

 

I am just trying to bring a little bit of predictability to our days. Loose routine so that there is some predictability. They are in the morning school routine, but like I said, the afternoons fall apart. Also, I wasn't good about keeping the mornings strictly for school. I had been trying to sneak in errands and things like that because it's easier with only one kid. Then those afternoons are even crazier, because I would have to fit in DS's school work then. This week has been better, since I've kept our mornings just for school.

[lea_lpz]

Oh ok, sorry was confused.  I thought your kids were older.  For some reason i remember an 11 year old, but must have been another poster.  Ok so I am on my actual computer vs my smart phone.  So you have a 7 year old and 3 year old twins......

 

I think that implementing nap time with your 3 year olds would be very doable and quiet time with the 7 year old.  

 

I wouldn't feel guilty about having the the 3 year olds nap, because it's still really important for healthy brain development and their behavior.  I don't know what time you go to bed but I know that a lot of preschool age children are not getting enough sleep and parents don't realize that they still need at least 12 hours of sleep a day!  Not to say your children don't sleep this long or you don't know that, just to say many people are quite shocked by this.  I honestly think it's because our society has become to busy so now naps seem to be a thing of the past for young children. Of course, they don't need to do 2 hours.  You could just do 1 hour if you want more time with them in the afternoons.  But, I think honestly both kids and you will be happier if they are well rested in the afternoon.  My preschooler starts acting really hyper and obnoxious when he's not sleeping enough.  

 

Again, can't say this is you but I find a lot of people are surprised when I say my kids all napped until 6 years old and still do quite time daily.  Most people say that their toddlers or preschoolers don't nap and they've tried it, but when I say, "Well, you have to be really disciplined about making sure they go down at home in their rooms at the same time every day.  Sometimes it is inconvienent, because errands have to get done either before 1 pm and after 3 pm pretty much daily, but if I start making it a habit to have them nap on the road, in a stroller or to have them nap early or late so we can go somewhere, they stop going down at their nap time."- they seem shocked.  Like literally it never occured to them that maybe the reason their kids don't nap is because they don't do that.  

 

Sometimes my kids will try to go on strike and not nap and play.  I will make sure they don't leave the room and if they do they must go back to their rooms and lay in their bed.  I actually make sure they all go to the bathroom before nap so that's not an excuse.  Not doing quite time or nap time is treated like a discipline issue.  If they don't cooperate, they will lose priveleges.  They have to stay in their room for the duration of nap time whether they sleep or not.  This usually only lasts a week or so and then they realize it's not going to happen and they stop.  I do keep all the kids in seperate rooms.  My dd, 6, and dss, 9, are allowed to play quietely in their rooms alone, but if they are too loud, sneak into each others rooms or start roaming around the house, they lose that privelege, and they'll be requried to lay in bed and take a nap with me checking periodically.  That's enough to get them to stop testing me pretty quickly.