Does anyone have "mandatory" quiet time?

[sierramv1]

What does it look like at your house? I feel like my kids are running me ragged, and I need some scheduled downtime so I can

refuel....I have three schooling (5,7,11). My oldest DS does not stay on task if I am not sitting with him while he does his work, so we all sit at the table. Then of course I have the seven year old decoding, and the 5 year old talking to herself, and the 11 year old yelling because he can't concentrate, then the 7 year old yelling because the 11 year old is yelling! Ugh!!  For me to keep positive and not loose my cool, takes every ounce of my being, and by the end of the day I feel like I've been to the rodeo!

 

My first step is to schedule "mom" time, so I only have one/two at the table at a time. This tends not to work, because it is then hard to get the "loose" children back to refocus....any advice.... :bored: ...

[Angie in VA]

I think SWB does. 

 

Yep. Here it is.

[readwithem]

Yep.  First there were naps, then room time, then quiet time, then read to yourself time.  My college senior still craves read to ourselves time when she comes home :p

 

[trulycrabby]

The crabby household  has a mandatory two hour quiet time from 11:30-1:30 every single day. DS9 takes a nap occasionally, but usually reads.

[Farrar]

When they were little, every single day.  You're going to think I'm a horrible person, but I actually put locks on the doors to keep them inside because otherwise they just popped out every two minutes.  It was a life saver at that time.

 

Now, only occasionally because we're on the go soooo much.  But when we're not and they don't want to leave the house, I say, that's it, separate!  And they aren't allowed to talk to each other.  They actually really like it, I think.  I mean, they are sweeties most of the time, but it's hard for them to get away from each other.

[xixstar]

I need to get ours back for my sanity. Mine were doing a quiet time during youngest nap but that has been done for a while. I need the downtime for my sanity as it helps me recharge for the afternoon.

 

I need to rethink logistics. Before they would be in their beds but that doesn't work as we'll anymore. I need to separate them but they share a room and everywhere else would be in my presence. But I think one can do activities in the school room quietly and the other spend time in the bedroom but not sure if I should switch out every day or keep it the same.

 

I am probably over thinking things.

[SFM]

Yes. I have mandatory in the room or "quiet" time. On Thursdays we have nap time, where I take a nap along with my youngest dd(4) and the other two have to build puzzles, color, read, etc. all quietly. I have to have an hour a day of sanity and peace and quiet. It's nice.

 

[Bree]

Yes, I'd go crazy without it ;) We get up and go to bed late so our quiet time is around 1:30-3:30. The kids can play in their room or read or color. I do let my 3 year old watch a movie during this time but just because she wont sleep anymore and likes to color on the walls and make a huge mess, especially with chocolate syrup :) If you do it all the time then they get use to it and it is so nice for mommy ;)

[FriedClams]

Absolutely! I think it's a necessity for families whose kids don't naturally seek alone time.

 

We started with naps, then in room quiet time (until about age 8-9 with reading only), then in house quiet time. Now they finish piano practice, schoolwork, read, play. I nap, craft, putter.

 

I cannot imagine homeschooling without quiet time!!!

[justme824]

Yep! I don't think I'd survive without it.

 

My older craves alone time just like me and loves 2-3 hours to just do his thing (read or listen to an audiobook while working on something).

 

My toddler would be happy to go without of course, but he does stay on his bed for a nice long quiet time every afternoon. I let him have a stack of books, his guys, and usually the odd toy or two that finds his way in the room. He'll read to them and fall asleep after about 30-minutes 4 days out of 7. I love the days he sleeps because it is usually about 3-hours! When he doesn't sleep he'll last about 60-90 minutes on his bed just chillin' which is just great for a 2-year-old :)

 

I don't see this going away anytime soon at all.

[matrips]

We had it every day when they were younger, but now it's just when I really really need it. I'll say separate rooms and they'll all call out a room they'll take. They usually read or play a game with their stuffed animals or do paper dolls. We should do it more often. We are just so busy anymore that we are rarely home anyway in the afternoon. But it was a great break for all of us.

[CrunchyGirl]

We struggle but I'm working very hard to be consistent on this. LegoMan needs the space away from his sisters. ArtsyGirl needs the option of sleeping each day (sometimes she needs it, sometimes she doesn't). And let's get real, I need an hour or two of quiet...to work if nothing else.

[ladydusk]

It used to be every day no matter what or where we were. 

 

Now, we have it every day we're at home.  Two hours, 2-4. The kids go to different rooms - one of the girls goes in our room - and they listen to audio books, read books, work on crafts, or other quiet play.

 

We all need some time apart to think our own thoughts, process our school day, do what we want (within limits) without mommy's instruction/direction. 

 

My oldest craves the time as she's pulled between her two siblings, and her introversion is becoming more pronounced.

[CardinalAlt]

Yes, I'm going to fight to the death to keep it, too! :). DD6 has quiet time whenever the toddler naps. When he gives up naps, I'll figure out how to get him used to quiet time...

[JessReplanted]

We do, depending on the day. When it's nice out, I will just send them outside to play instead.

For indoor quiet time though, I send them to their rooms (the two girls share), turn on our white noise sound machine,

and tell them to read or play quietly.

[RoundAbout]

Yes! Every single day. At home it was kid in his room with door closed and an audio book on. Usually he played Lego. Now that we are traveling I still try to set aside quiet reading time, usually before dinner so I can cook in peace and DS can unwind from the days activities.

[LLMom]

We have always had an hour quiet time right after lunch.  30 minutes must be silent reading and the other 30 minutes can be quietly doing something else alone.  I have to have this time to function well.

[PeterPan]

Ditto the others saying to fix your work situation.  My ds disturbs my dd, much like the way your youngers are disturbing your oldest, and I have to keep them on separate floors (basement vs. main floor).  I suggest you increase your structure, using checklists so your 11 yo knows EXACTLY what he's supposed to be doing.  You'll have to do the checklist with him at first to make sure he knows how to implement it, but then you'll just do check-ins.  If necessary, start with checkins every 1/2 hour or hour, then spread them out as he succeeds.  Alternately, put the checklist on an ipad using a To Do app.  I've posted some of my checklists in the past and I HIGHLY recommend using them.  Everybody needs order and to know the plan for the day, even people who unschool.  

 

Some people have their dc log every 15 minutes or 1/2 hour what they're doing, but I just have always used checklists.

 

Anyways, work with the 5 and 7 yos for an hour or two while your 11 yo works through his checklist.  Put the things in workboxes if you have to.  Keep them in totally separate locations.  Check in on him and make sure he CAN do the work independently and that he's being checked on.  He can read a book for 30 min. and check it off the list.  Think of things he CAN do independently to put on the section for that time.  If he has attention issues, anything you do to increase his structure will help.

 

And yes to the mandatory quiet time.  The 11 yo shouldn't need it, because he should be doing some things independently (reading, personal interests, whatever) that give you quiet time.  Focus on getting the 5 and 7 yos into a mandatory quiet time, and that should solve the problem.  Plop them in front of videos (what I do) or turn on audiobooks.  We use audiobooks at night, so during the day we do videos.  They can even be educational, just so long is their butt is on the couch watching them and they're not making noise.  Don't make it a discipline issue.  Just make the video SO AWESOME the first day that they're engrossed, even if it requires a 2 hour video or something.  Next day repeat.  After a while they get the idea and develop the habit.  I send him down with his lunch, so he eats lunch while watching Calliou, history channel, lego videos, that sort of thing.  

 

 

[ScoutTN]

I'd go crazy without it! We do have some aftenoons when we are out, but if we're home, I need at least an hour or so of peace.

[MinivanMom]

Two hours of quiet time after lunch every.single.day. I can't imagine life without it. The big kids read, the kindergartner plays quietly in her room, and the little ones nap.

[lmrich]

We called it siesta time. We have outgrown it here, but I loved it. I think it so good for kids to learn to fill their own time without electronics. I had siesta time two years ago and my 15 year old son played with his old marble run etc.. And had a blast remembering all the fun he used to have.

[LindaOz]

Yes. 

 

Everybody. 

 

From my 12th grader down to the baby. 

 

In their rooms. 

 

Quiet reading (or sleeping) for an hour. 

 

And I then get quiet time too..... YAY!!!

[bttrflyvld]

My kids are still young but I plan on continuing with our quite time for many years. the 6 year old chills on my bed with her stack of books and a few toys for the whole time my 4 year old is napping. Usually 1 1/2 hours.

 

my 4 year old still asks for naps (Yup she asks) and my 6 year old is bummed when we have to miss her quite time. I am surprised how much they count on it every day. And I of course, being pregnant and very tired, take the opportunity to nap as well. Good all the way around.

[xixstar]

This thread was the motivation I needed to get it going again. Girls are all settled into quiet time for today and I think the daily break from each other will be a very good option. They're together non stop and sometimes I think they could both use a little breathing room -- me too! :)

[sierramv1]

Wow! I knew I was missing a piece! I already prepped the kids for a change in schedule next week! I think 90 minutes would be perfect! I watched both Susan Bauer videos on 'quiet time' and LOVE the audio book suggestions! My oldest DS (11) loves books, he will read for hours at a time. I think you guys are right about the schedule, I need to schedule times for each kid, I have been hesitant at trying this and failing miserably, but at this point it can't get much worse, and the time away from siblings is an added benefit I hadn't even considered!!  

 

THANK YOU!!

 

 

[BlsdMama]

If you can read you have the option of reading, otherwise sleep. Read or sleep. If you opt not to read and instead be foolish, you are choosing a nap by default. I take it pretty seriously. I do admit to though to sometimes using the first part of my two hour hiatus as one on one teaching.