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What would you have said?


Janie Grace
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I was homeschooling at a coffee shop recently and working on spelling with my ds. We were going over the sound "eigh" as in "weigh," "neighbor," etc. He had finally gotten it and I said, by way of review, "and what is the other way we can spell the 'ay' sound?" (I was asking for "a-y.")

 

Ds has slow processing speed.  He sat there thinking quietly, looking at his paper. He wasn't frustrated, he was just pondering. I repeated the question slowly... "let's think, besides 'eigh,' is there another way that we spell the sound 'ay'?" 

 

The older man at the table next time me (probably 60) said, "You homeschool?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, aren't you going to give him any more hints?" He shook his head, as if appalled, gathered up his things and left. He did not wait to have a conversation; I guess he just wanted me to know I was being unreasonable with my son. I was so flustered, I quickly said to my ds, "think about the words 'way' and 'may.'"

 

I wish I hadn't let this guy get to me. I was so shocked that he'd reprimand me for my teaching style, and I immediately assumed I was in the wrong. After he left, I was so mad. I wish I had said, "no, he doesn't need a hint, he's almost got it." Or SOMETHING.

 

What would you have said? Have you ever had someone overhear you teaching and tell you you were doing it wrong?!?

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I'm pretty sure I would have just stared at him with my mouth open until he got embarrassed and left.  Like I do when some idiot gestures at me for NOT driving improperly.

 

I would not have thought of "go a-WAY" but that's pretty good.

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I think the way in which you handled that was classy. 

 

There's no reason to always share what we're thinking. His was a good example of why. 

 

You effectively ignored him and went on with what you were doing, showing not only him, but your child how polite people can ignore inappropriate and rude interruptions. 

 

 

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I don't think it would have bothered me at all.  Suggesting more hints isn't that big of a deal.  Maybe the man thought it was a tough question.  Maybe he struggled in school and would have liked more hints.  Overall, not a big deal, IMO. 

 

FWIW, anytime a conversation starts with "You homeschool..."  you should be braced for something completely odd to come next.   Now, when I answer "yes," I sometimes get a positive response but I am always braced for something else.  I have no problem laughing off the looks or comments because I know our lifestyle and our schooling rocks.  :)     

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Hugs. I'm really sorry that happened. Really, I imagine his comment had more to do with something in his own past then how you were actually teaching your son. It probably had very little to do with you and more-so what it triggered in him for whatever reason. I don't know how I personally would have responded, but the best you can do now is to simply not let it bother you. Hugs.

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