Am I doing the right thing taking dd out of ballet and is this normal business practice?

[lynn]

DD loves ballet but hates tights.  It's a battle every week to get the tights "just right"  after 3 full years this year going on the 4th year I am done withthe weekly battle of ballet tights.   I feel I have no more patience.  DD loves ballet and is okay once we are there but this weekly battle is over.  It's also a battle to get her toput her bangs up out of her face.

 

Now the business side.  there is no contract but if you are taking a child out of classes you have to put it in writing by the first of the last month and pay for that month whether you are still going to classes on notl.  For example if I turn in letter today I still have to pay oct/Nov if I wait until November 1 I have to pay Nov and December.  Is this the norm?

[Kerileanne99]

Hhhmm, for my daughters gymnastics, ballet, and piano lessons it is all 30 days notice...but it does depend on when you give the notice. Say if I have notice Oct 15, I would have paid for Oct already and would then have to pay for November in its entirety...no proration. But you would of course be able to attend through the end of Nov if you chose. If you gave Notice Nov 1st, you would not pay Dec 1st.

[Lisbeth]

Hmm...if it isn't in writing on something you signed, how could they enforce it? I have seen it both ways.

[kitten18]

I think if we quit we would just have to pay for the current month.

 

And yes, how can they enforce it.

[lynn]

Hhhmm, for my daughters gymnastics, ballet, and piano lessons it is all 30 days notice...but it does depend on when you give the notice. Say if I have notice Oct 15, I would have paid for Oct already and would then have to pay for November in its entirety...no proration. But you would of course be able to attend through the end of Nov if you chose. If you gave Notice Nov 1st, you would not pay Dec 1st.

Sounds like the same thing.   I was just curious how it worked for others.

[bettyandbob]

DD loves ballet but hates tights.  It's a battle every week to get the tights "just right"  after 3 full years this year going on the 4th year I am done withthe weekly battle of ballet tights.   I feel I have no more patience.  DD loves ballet and is okay once we are there but this weekly battle is over.  It's also a battle to get her toput her bangs up out of her face.

 

Now the business side.  there is no contract but if you are taking a child out of classes you have to put it in writing by the first of the last month and pay for that month whether you are still going to classes on notl.  For example if I turn in letter today I still have to pay oct/Nov if I wait until November 1 I have to pay Nov and December.  Is this the norm?

 

 

1. Typically, studios have a "uniform". That includes hair and tights. At my dds studio girls don't where tights until 8 I think. Before that they are not permitted to wear tights in class, but they where them in performance. After 8 they wear ballet pink tights (only that color) and the dance dress for the class level they are in. Hair must be in a bun. When dd decided she wanted to go beyond recreation level classes, I told her hair was her responsibility. If she wanted to do the program SHE had to comply without my help. Bangs: some studios do not want bangs. dd has not had bangs but she uses gel to get her hair tamed in the right places. 

 

2. If you have not signed a formal contract, is there a printed policy that's been in place. What you describe is a standard practice I've seen in most businesses: health clubs, music teachers, lawn services. I don't know how enforceable it is without your signature, but it is a standard business practice for things charged by the month. You may need to do the research in your locality on contract law and enforcement. You may have an implied contract. 

[twoxcell]

I do not know anything about dance but we have to give notice the month before if we want to leave or take a month off of swim team. 1 day in the pool equals a full months payments. I believe it was explained in our original sign up package.

[justasque]

DD loves ballet but hates tights.  It's a battle every week to get the tights "just right"  after 3 full years this year going on the 4th year I am done withthe weekly battle of ballet tights.   I feel I have no more patience.  DD loves ballet and is okay once we are there but this weekly battle is over.  It's also a battle to get her toput her bangs up out of her face.

 

Now the business side.  there is no contract but if you are taking a child out of classes you have to put it in writing by the first of the last month and pay for that month whether you are still going to classes on notl.  For example if I turn in letter today I still have to pay oct/Nov if I wait until November 1 I have to pay Nov and December.  Is this the norm?

 

Her pickiness about the tights is in some ways a good thing - ballerinas have to be very picky about the details of their movements.  People in other professions also have to be picky about details - everyone from house cleaners to bridge designers to medical personell.  

 

If she loves ballet but hates tights, are there other solutions?

 

Have you discussed this with the studio?  Perhaps she could wear booty shorts and maybe a ballet skirt instead of tights?  

 

I always buy the tights a size larger than it says on the package, which helps a *lot* with comfort and fit.  They are *much* easier to get on, and much easier to adjust.

 

Can you have her get dressed at the studio, instead of before you leave home?  The setting might help her be a little calmer, and help you not have the stress about getting to the studio on time.

 

Can you grow out her bangs?  That would make the bun easier.  And remember, it doesn't have to be the most beautiful hairdo ever; a basic bun with bangs pulled back will do, even if the other girls have picture-perfect hair.

 

Though I understand the extreme mom-frustration a picky kid can create, I would hate to see a dance lover quit because of tights.  Dance is a lifetime sport.

 

 

[Guest submarines]

Her pickiness about the tights is in some ways a good thing - ballerinas have to be very picky about the details of their movements.  People in other professions also have to be picky about details - everyone from house cleaners to bridge designers to medical personell.  

 

If she loves ballet but hates tights, are there other solutions?

 

Have you discussed this with the studio?  Perhaps she could wear booty shorts and maybe a ballet skirt instead of tights?  

 

I always buy the tights a size larger than it says on the package, which helps a *lot* with comfort and fit.  They are *much* easier to get on, and much easier to adjust.

 

Can you have her get dressed at the studio, instead of before you leave home?  The setting might help her be a little calmer, and help you not have the stress about getting to the studio on time.

 

Can you grow out her bangs?  That would make the bun easier.  And remember, it doesn't have to be the most beautiful hairdo ever; a basic bun with bangs pulled back will do, even if the other girls have picture-perfect hair.

 

Though I understand the extreme mom-frustration a picky kid can create, I would hate to see a dance lover quit because of tights.  Dance is a lifetime sport.

 

 

I agree with this post. If she loves ballet, I'd look for ways to make it happen for her. She's very likely to outgrow her extreme sensitivity soon or will learn to deal with it better. DD11 had the same issues with sensory things (tight clothes etc) when she tried ballet at 6, but she didn't love it, and we quit. Now she loves riding and she'll wear clothes for riding that she'd never tolerate for anything else--tight breeches, tight boots. She even said that for riding she'd wear anything.

 

Is it the tightness of the tights or them not being "perfectly straight" on her legs that is the problem for your DD? If it is the tightness, try going 2-3 sizes up. If it is the straightness, I have lots of empathy for you. 

[justasque]

Just to add - 

Does dd put on her own tights?  If not, it may be time to (gently, gradually, with encouragement) turn it over to her.  Kids are sometimes more forgiving of their own efforts than those of someone else.

Can she wear the tights all day, so you aren't putting them on in a crunch time?  This may or may not be a good idea.  :-)

Are you buying the quality tights designed for dancers (Bloch, Capezio, etc.)?  They are sturdier than the cheaper versions and may go on easier without running.  

Have you tried different brands and/or styles?  Some are softer than others.

Would she consider footless or convertible tights, worn footless with her ballet shoes?  That would avoid issues with toe seams, but may introduce other issues of course.

Some girls cut the waistband, or remove it entirely, if it is too tight for them.  This seems odd to me (how do they stay up?) but it works for them.

Would a full bodysuit/catsuit, or perhaps a biketard (rather than leo and tights) work for her?  Not every studio will allow this, but it's an idea.

Can she, however badly, do her own hair?  It will be very messy at first, but she will eventually learn with practice.

Are there other hairstyles that would work?  For example, can her bangs be French braided to the side, then included in the bun or in pinned-up braids?

Picky kids need to be encouraged to find solutions that help them comply with various rules and requirements while still meeting their needs regarding various sensitivities.  Brainstorming together - encouraging her to come up with some potential solutions, and trying them (even if you know they are likely to fail) can help her to gain the skills and coping mechanisms to work with her issues, which she will need in a variety of future situations.

[Laurie4b]

Yes, that type of thing is the norm for many different businesses and they are there for the kind of situation you are in. You have no complaints about them. Your decision to quit is personal and nothing they can control. They have to be able to count on a certain income and having people quit without any kind of cushion for them could hurt. Whether you can legally withdraw without penalty or not, if a person is aware of the rules, it seems the courteous thing to do is to comply.

[Mom0012]

DD loves ballet but hates tights. It's a battle every week to get the tights "just right" after 3 full years this year going on the 4th year I am done withthe weekly battle of ballet tights. I feel I have no more patience. DD loves ballet and is okay once we are there but this weekly battle is over. It's also a battle to get her toput her bangs up out of her face.

 

Now the business side. there is no contract but if you are taking a child out of classes you have to put it in writing by the first of the last month and pay for that month whether you are still going to classes on notl. For example if I turn in letter today I still have to pay oct/Nov if I wait until November 1 I have to pay Nov and December. Is this the norm?

Yes, that's how our studio handles it.

[cuckoomamma]

I completely agree with other posters regarding the tights.  Your dd is still so young.  My 8 yo wears adult small tights, and she's average height and very thin.  Her sister is 5'3" and even thinner and she wears adult large tights :-) 

 

Gaynor Minden makes tights with a flat waist band that my girls prefer.  We have a bunch of Capezio, but the flat waist is the preference. 

 

Also, you could purchase convertible tights and pull them up off her toes if it's the feet that are bothering her.  My older did that for awhile.  It still looked as if her foot was covered in the ballet slipper but when she took it off you could see that her toes were free.  I've seen younger girls wear the convertible tights pulled to their ankles and not be pulled out of class.  I wouldn't recommend it but if you're facing quitting and it would make the difference to her I'd send her in like that.

 

Another issue is that she shouldn't be wearing underwear under the tights.  Maybe her underwear is getting all scrunched up under the tights and making them uncomfortable? 

 

Take a deep breath.  Don't throw in the towel yet!

[Tammyla]

Our contract required written notice. 

[mom2bee]

Are you taking her out of ballet only because of the tight issue or is this a 'final straw' type thing?

Since your daughter "loves" ballet, have you spoken to her about the fact that you are prepared to withdraw her based on her behavior? Is she willing to work toward getting a better attitude and saving money to get better tights if she thinks that higher quality tights might help?

 

As for ending lessons payment-plans 30 days seems normal and fair to me. I would even say that having you pay for the next month is fair. (ie today is oct 13, so you would have already paid this month and you would be obligated to pay for the spot for November also.)

[garddwr]

Our gymnastics gym requires one month's tuition from the time you give notice that you are leaving. I think it is fairly common.

[sassenach]

I moved dd over from a pre-professional ballet school to the city rec department's dance school.  She's just as happy, can wear whatever she wants, and we're not going broke.  It was a good choice all around.

 

The billing sounds reasonable, plus you already agreed to it when you enrolled her.  Nothing to do about it now.

 

I would find a lower key class, where she can still dance, but without the tights.

[Mom0012]

I moved dd over from a pre-professional ballet school to the city rec department's dance school. She's just as happy, can wear whatever she wants, and we're not going broke. It was a good choice all around.

 

The billing sounds reasonable, plus you already agreed to it when you enrolled her. Nothing to do about it now.

 

I would find a lower key class, where she can still dance, but without the tights.

Yes! I am embarrassed to say what I am paying for my dd to take ballet every month. She would have been just as happy in something recreational if I hadn't gotten her hooked at this school at such a young age. She is never going to be a dancer and the time and financial commitment seems over the top to me. And she's taking the minimal number of classes. Most of the other girls are dancing twice as many hours as she is.

 

When I was growing up, I danced one hour a week and had a recital at the end of the year. I had no idea what I was signing up for when I brought my dd to her first little creative dance class at 3 yo.

[sassenach]

Yes! I am embarrassed to say what I am paying for my dd to take ballet every month. She would have been just as happy in something recreational if I hadn't gotten her hooked at this school at such a young age. She is never going to be a dancer and the time and financial commitment seems over the top to me. And she's taking the minimal number of classes. Most of the other girls are dancing twice as many hours as she is.

 

When I was growing up, I danced one hour a week and had a recital at the end of the year. I had no idea what I was signing up for when I brought my dd to her first little creative dance class at 3 yo.

Maybe my story will give you courage- dd was at the same school for 5 years before I moved her.  At first she didn't want to make any changes, but once she did, her love of dance took over and she enjoyed it in spite of missing the old school.

[trulycrabby]

Gosh, I am still reaping the benefits of ballet class 45 years later; posture, coordination, balance, discipline, a love for movement and physical fitness. If possible, I urge you to try to find a solution to the tights issue and let her continue, especially since she loves it.

 

What is it exactly that she dislikes/finds uncomfortable about the tights?

[DianeW88]

Well, my dd is a professional ballerina, so I've been through it all.  LOL  None of the schools she attended ever had that type of payment policy.  You didn't get a refund for the month you paid for if you quit, but you never would have had to pay for any subsequent months.  Especially if you didn't attend class during that month.  I wouldn't pay for that.

 

As for the dress code...it is mandatory in most serious ballet schools.  Tights are part of the ballet "uniform", and my advice to my dd about hair, tights, or any other uncomfortable part of the outfit (and there will be many the more advanced she becomes) was, "Suck it up, buttercup."  Ballerinas need to learn to endure a certain degree of discomfort...even pain...for their art.  It's just what it is.  I hope your dd can make the adjustment, especially if she loves dance and is talented.  If she doesn't have aspirations to be a professional dancer, then I'd move her to a recreational school where the requirements are not as strict.

[kiwik]

Here you pay for the 10 week term up front and re-enrol at the end for the next term. I have never heard of anyone asking for a refund so if you quit 2 weeks in you would lose out but generally you would just see out the term and not re-enrol.

[Guest submarines]

Here you pay for the 10 week term up front and re-enrol at the end for the next term. I have never heard of anyone asking for a refund so if you quit 2 weeks in you would lose out but generally you would just see out the term and not re-enrol.

Same here.

[Paula in MS]

If the tight issues are because of the seams, have her try wearing the tights inside out. This worked for my daughter. I have nothing to offer on the business side of things. Sorry.

[kroe1]

DD13 just recently "resigned" from her theater passion to devote more time to dance. We had the pleasure of befriending many an older ballerina who now performed in theater. Let me tell you that they are easy to spot. They are the 65+ year olds who still have an elegant gait, slim bodies, graceful movements, and polished confidence in their retirement years. So my vote is to keep your DD in dance if possible,

 

Switching to footless tights really helped my own DD back in the day. She has always gone to the more rogue schools, however, which are slightly more lenient on dress codes than the pre-professional schools.