How would you have handled this situation?

[Χά�ων]

It's a croissant or 3. To be honest, I do not buy them because I have no self control if they are in the house. I am not sure why but I cannot resist. I can pass up chocolate before a croissant. I wouldn't punish my DS because he would have to sneak them if he were to get any.

[ondreeuh]

Did your DS understand that they were being saved for another meal? I mean - did he connect that him eating 3 croissants means that himself and 2 other people have to go without the next day?

 

This is the reason that when I buy a "treat" food, I clearly tell each kid how many are in their share. So if we get a box of popsicles, they each get 3. They can eat them 3 days in a row or spread them out, but those popsicles will be waiting for them in the freezer. When they get holiday candy, it goes in a labeled bucket in the cupboard. There is no pressure to eat it before it disappears. It has eliminated a lot of "greediness" with special foods. They have plenty of regular food available, of course.

 

Since your ds ate not only his share of croissants but also 2 more, then he should figure out a way to make it up. And hopefully in the future he would think twice before taking more than his share.

[Pretty in Pink]

So, he ended up having cake and ice cream with the family.

 

He said he took the croissants because they are delicious and he wanted to eat them. He knew I would tell him no and he just wanted them anyway so he took them.

 

I've asked him before why he eats the food off of our dinner plates and he said that the food is just so good that he wants to eat it all.

 

I think he just likes good food. The croissants are certainly a treat, as in a few times per year treat. They are very yummy. He wanted to eat them. I get that. It's really not unlike me sneaking chocolate in my bedroom closet because I don't want my kids clamoring for a bite.

 

I'll have him ride to the supermarket on his bike and purchase more.

 

[SKL]

I would let him know my disappointment and give him some related work to make up for it.  Like preparing the next meal for everyone.

 

Once when I was about that age, during a moody spell, I took a new loaf of delicious bread into the back hallway and started eating it.  I did not stop eating until the entire loaf was gone.  Normally I have never had a "thing" with food, and eating the bread was not against family rules, but it was just weird.  I didn't even feel uncomfortable after all that eating.  I assume that was an "emotional eating" episode since I had been in a very bad mood (which did improve with the bread!).

[happypamama]

I think riding his bike to the store and needing to pay for more out of his own money is a good idea. It's not the biggest deal in the world; it's just some croissants, but it IS aggravating and inconvenient. So an extra bit of aggravation and inconvenience on his part might help him to be more mindful in the future.

 

I really like the PP who suggested that he also be in charge of shopping for and preparing a week's worth of meals for the family. He may just not get that you sometimes buy things specifically for meals; he may have just thought "ooooh, Mom bought a special treat." I have heard of people putting a red dot sticker on things that are specifically being saved for a meal or are otherwise not for general snacking, and/or you could put general snacking items in a particular spot or bin.

 

The fact that he snuck the food because he knew you'd say no is more worrisome to me, because it suggests that he knew the croissants would be off-limits. I guess I'd be discussing with him whether he was bored with the regular snacks, or something.

 

(My little bunch of munchkins is the opposite of yours -- one girl followed by four boys -- feeding multiple teenage boys at once is scaring me!)

[Danestress]

Probably a good time for a poetry lesson!

 

This is Just To Say

 

(By William Carlos Williams)

 

 

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

 

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

 

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

[Pretty in Pink]

Probably a good time for a poetry lesson!

 

This is Just To Say

 

(By William Carlos Williams)

 

 

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

 

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

 

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

LOL! I am going to write this down and tuck it into a book somewhere so that he can stumble across it and laugh. Thank you. :)

[Scarlett]

LOL! I am going to write this down and tuck it into a book somewhere so that he can stumble across it and laugh. Thank you. :)

Yeah he sounds like a normal hungry kid who is honest. He reminds me of my son breaking a rule one time and telling me the punishment was, ' so worth it'.

[Seasider]

Boys that age can be insatiable. And seriously depending on activity level, their calorie needs can be pretty high. Some folks have trouble understanding this (not saying you do, pretty, but I know folks whose doc had to tell them that their firstborn/first to hit teen appetite son NEEDED more calories). I would make sure he has available many clearly identified/accessible high protein snacks and tell him if he wants something outside the designated snack box/fridge compartment, he needs to ask first since you might need it for a recipe. I'd let it go this time, have the "here's where you get yours" talk, and see what develops from there.

[Catwoman]

So, he ended up having cake and ice cream with the family.

 

He said he took the croissants because they are delicious and he wanted to eat them. He knew I would tell him no and he just wanted them anyway so he took them.

 

I've asked him before why he eats the food off of our dinner plates and he said that the food is just so good that he wants to eat it all.

 

I think he just likes good food. The croissants are certainly a treat, as in a few times per year treat. They are very yummy. He wanted to eat them. I get that. It's really not unlike me sneaking chocolate in my bedroom closet because I don't want my kids clamoring for a bite.

 

I'll have him ride to the supermarket on his bike and purchase more.

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

I think you came up with the perfect solution, and I'm glad he got to celebrate your dh's birthday with the family! :thumbup:

[kroe1]

I am surprised he did not eat the entire box. When my DS was a teen he used to devour an entire bag of groceries within 30 minutes of my arrival home. In and of itself, I would not say much about the croissants. I would probably laugh. But you said this was the last straw. I have never been a good parent so I yell when angry. Sometimes I ground them, but I always regret it because it is just one more thing I have to police.

 

Let us know what you ultimately think and do about it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Let us know what you ultimately think and do about it.

:lol: She already did.

[TammyinTN]

When the kids were younger I put masking tape on the package and wrote DO NOT EAT BY ORDER OF MOM.  

 

Since he's already eaten it...I would drive over to the commissary and have him buy you another pack with his money for supper.  

[Lady Florida.]

It sounds like you handled it well, and I'm glad he got to enjoy cake with the family. He sounds like a hungry teenage boy. With dss when he was a teen, ds now, and hey - sometimes even dh - I have to specifically let them know if an item is for a recipe. If our schedules are hectic, I might even put a note on the food item. I also usually tell them that once I use it for the recipe/meal, anything left over is up for grabs.

[Pretty in Pink]

Yeah he sounds like a normal hungry kid who is honest. He reminds me of my son breaking a rule one time and telling me the punishment was, ' so worth it'.

 

Hahaha! Yes -- that was totally his attitude. He was like, "...but Mom. They were DELICIOUS!" :P

 

I'm really glad he was able to join us for cake and ice cream. As the saying goes, "It's more friendly with two (or, in our case, seven)."

 

[Susan C.]

I agree with others, teen/young adult boys are huge eaters. My ds24 is still eating..... and ridiculous amounts, and he is quite thin. I've heard a lot of men say that happens, and probably why they gain weight when older, they try to keep up the eating! Carbs just make them more hungry, try to have protein available for snacks (maybe make extra meat at dinner?). And fats (peanut butter, full fat yogurt, whole milk and ice cream).

[Guest]

I hate to say this, but he's 14, and I'm pretty sure being a PITA is in the official job description for 14yo boys. ;)

 

I still think your dh is being too harsh.

 

I agree.  Way too harsh.  Wrong punishment for the situation.  Now if he had eaten part of the cake, fine.

[Guest]

So, he ended up having cake and ice cream with the family.

 

He said he took the croissants because they are delicious and he wanted to eat them. He knew I would tell him no and he just wanted them anyway so he took them.

 

I've asked him before why he eats the food off of our dinner plates and he said that the food is just so good that he wants to eat it all.

 

I think he just likes good food. The croissants are certainly a treat, as in a few times per year treat. They are very yummy. He wanted to eat them. I get that. It's really not unlike me sneaking chocolate in my bedroom closet because I don't want my kids clamoring for a bite.

 

I'll have him ride to the supermarket on his bike and purchase more.

 

 

 

Good for you!  

[bolt.]

Plus, going to the store on his bike and buying the package to replace what he ate (aside from being a good deterrent, and a form of making amends) ALSO very physically teaches him that if he wanted croissants so badly, there was another way for him to have gotten what he wanted without dealing with family dynamics over it: he could have just gone out and bought himself a whole box... More croissants, nobody upset, same money and effort.

 

It might be wise to remind him that the "get some of your own at the store" solution is always abvailable to him (within the constrains of his own money).

[Mrs Mungo]

Probably a good time for a poetry lesson!

 

This is Just To Say

 

(By William Carlos Williams)

 

 

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

 

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

 

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

 

I talked about this poem with a group of elementary school kids in a co-op class. One of the girls *very* insightfully pointed out that when you say you are sorry, you are supposed to *ask* for forgiveness. He wasn't asking. ;)

 

PiP, I think your solution was perfect.