For those of in Rural locations....

[athomeontheprairie]

Today marked the end of my job. I've been fortunate enough that over the past 4 years, I've been able to work outside the home part-time. My kids would come with me and work on school while I was at work, or play in the backroom, or play in the park across the street. With a new baby on the way I was no longer able to continue with this and have spent most of the summer training my replacement.

Now as the reality sets in, I'm scared!

We live 25 miles from ANY town (and town closes at 6 and on weekends.) Our nearest town of substance is 75 miles away and we attend once every 6-8 weeks. The closest city is 4 hours away, and is usually once a year (though we didn't make it this year and it doesn't look good for the fall...) My nearest neighbor is 5 miles away. IF I am lucky I can see the mailman when he brings by the mail at 2, otherwise, it's me and the kids all day alone until my husband finishes school around 8.

If you live in a rural setting, what things help you? How do you balance seeing other people (both for your kids sanity, but also for yours) and being home.  I worry about not seeing other adults, and I have one kid who really really likes being around others. (Right now, we have church Wednesday night, Library Thursday, and Church Sunday, and occasional group outtings...)

How can I make this transition easier on all of us. I'm a little tired of hearing "Where are we going today?" "Nowhere sweetie, today is a stay home day." "Again? But we did that yesterday!"

Thanks for letting me get that out...I really liked my job, and am finding as I've pulled away that it is harder than I expected it to be....

[Lucy the Valiant]

Can you "invent" special days at home? Like . . . Baking Day . . . Make a Home Movie Day . . . Water Day (outside) .  . make it fun for the kids, and something special. Also, schedule it a couple of weeks out to give them some anticipation, and take suggestions from them for new ideas.

 

Family Fun magazine has an AWESOME website for "party" ideas - their magazine is excellent, too, and pretty low-cost; I save ideas from there and group them together to make Fun Days at home (look up their Water Wall idea, for example). Last year we did 3 days of Spy Camp, and this year we did Ranger Camp - just stuff from home, scrounged and put together, but the kids had a blast. Like a birthday party minus the birthday. (You can even connect it to what you're doing in school - Egypt Party, Polypennisian War Game Night, etc.) Invite friends every so often, and see what happens?

[Parrothead]

Once school starts it will be easier. School needs will dictate most of your days. For the rest of summer find ways to enjoy outside. Ride bikes, take long walks, if you have a place for nature walks go on those. Swim when/where you can. Invite kids and their moms over for ice cream socials, poetry reading, an afternoon under the sprinkler.

 

If you need to get out go to the closest fast food restaurant and order a coke and teach the kids to people watch. Invite a friend to join you. Nothing says you have to eat the food.

 

Go to the park every couple of days to play for a couple hours. Pack a snack and some water.

 

Host an outside dinner for another family you are close to. These don't have to be hard nor do they require more than a clean bathroom. Set up outside for burgers, chips and pickles. Or do hotdogs, beans and fruit. Dinner parties do not have to be elaborate. If you don't don't want to host an entire meal, host a dessert party. Bake a cake or a pie and have friends come for dessert and coffee.

[Amy Jo]

For activities, walking, exploring and biking are all good. For nature study you might check out the Outdoor Hour Challenge. It might be a nice time to learn a new skill or hobby, before school starts. I see the baby is due next month, perhaps something less physical like a new game or puzzles? After you've explored a few things, perhaps the kids could even design a family fun day.

 

As to talking to people, are video/distance classes possible? You could learn something like the violin or have Spanish tutoring. Do you have a webcam and skype? My BIL and niece use one to chat with my in-laws. This might be a good time to work with the kids on writing letters or emails to grandparents. Or start a blog and you can 'talk' in the comments. And there's always Facebook, in case you just have to see what funny cat pics your friends have posted! Can you find someone to have a play date with once a week? It might be nice to list some people you can call, and send the kids out / start a video / declare quiet time, then call one of your friends. My DH has an erratic schedule, and when he works late my day just lasts forever. So do plan a break for yourself at some point in the day.

 

Just give yourself some time as well, you are going through a big adjustment anyway with a new baby coming, and being at home is a big change. I've never been an overly social person, and it still took some getting used to. I wasn't accustomed to having to plan everything! So be patient with yourself. And post back if you try something and do/don't like it - we might be able to make better recommendations.

[Slipper]

We're out in the country as well. My nearest neighbor is my mother (she is next door). The other neighbors are not in visual distance from our house.

 

IF possible (notice that I said, 'if'), teach your kids that not every day needs an activity associated with it. My cousin's daughter is a bit older than your kids and needs special activities every day. It has become stressful in their household to provide entertainment for her.

 

Can you utilize the outdoors at all? Where we live, the girls can ride bikes (over the grass since the roads are all gravel), use chalk on our front sidewalk, blow bubbles, skip rope, run, etc. I also try to teach some basic skills (pulling weeds - I gave them their own little garden area to plant flowers in and they maintain it). We grow (or buy) fruits and veggies that they help put up. I know your kids are young, but they are old enough to learn to do some things that will become valuable to YOUR time as they get older.

 

Teach them to cook and put them in charge of one meal per week (crockpot stuff so all they do is cut, measure, pour and turn on, with a salad). At that age, they could also manage a rice steamer and iced tea maker.

 

For gifts, invest in books, puzzles, dollhouses, board games, dress up clothes (from thrift stores) and videos that are both interesting to them and have some lesson involved (Magic School Bus for example).

 

We also do a lot of extra curricular activities (theatre, soccer, dance) to take us into town and around others. And playdates. Invite other kids over.

 

Good luck :)

[mathnerd]

I am not in a rural area, but have my best friend and her 2 little kids living in a really rural area. They do a lot of extra curriculars for their kids - like dance, music, soccer and basketball. This is in addition to the kids participating in things like Math Olympiads etc which keep them going out on a regular basis. What my friend said that helps was that the kids got into team activities - the boy into basketball adn the girl into dance and soccer that gave them firm friendships. They also invite a friend's family over on Friday nights and go to the nearest city on Saturdays for a trip to the mall, museum or to eat out.

Good luck.

[Arcadia]

I'm not rural but no kids around in my neighborhood.  They are either in school or summer camp.  What help us was hubby would drop us off at the library before work and we could stay there the whole day.  My boys will do their school work there, have lunch at the nearby café, run around the adjoining park and back to the library to read books.  We can be there from 10am to 9pm and I do pack lunch and dinner sometimes. We had also spent the whole day at Borders (before the stores closed for good) and Barnes and Nobles. My kids love the café and water is free. I don't know if my kids are introverts or extroverts as yet but both crave seeing humans regardless of age and have been people watchers since birth. They finish their school work a lot faster in the library than home. 

Our weekends are outside too and kids countdown to weekends. They are counting down to their German class starting again.

When my boys were both under two, our double stroller was the life saver.  I could easily do a diaper change in a double stroller as well as pack a full day's worth of food for the park. My boys are a year apart in age.

[happypamama]

We're not quite as rural as you, but we're at least 20 minutes from everything. If you have space, encourage gardening! Or outdoor activities -- swingset, playhouse, bike, climbing trees, digging in the dirt. My kids spend a lot of time just being outside, playing pretend games. And they have plenty of interesting things to do inside as well.

 

We do one long day of errands every week, and occasionally we go out twice a week. We listen to audio books or music in the car, and I do point out how one long day means fewer days of having to go out. Kids get tired from errands. There's usually some sort of treat involved in grocery shopping, which helps.

 

The kids will adjust to being home more, and school will help with that. I am quite an introvert, so I don't need a lot of adult contact, and once or twice a week is plenty for me. Being so far from things has made me selective, which is nice -- we only choose to do those things which are truly worth the drive and effort.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Can you "invent" special days at home? Like . . . Baking Day . . . Make a Home Movie Day . . . Water Day (outside) .  . make it fun for the kids, and something special. Also, schedule it a couple of weeks out to give them some anticipation, and take suggestions from them for new ideas.

 

 

 

This is a great idea.  I wanted to add some ideas. When my kids were little, we would have regular Beach Days in winter (doing school work bathing suits on beach towels and under umbrellas on the family room carpet), and Game Days once a month on Fridays.  Instead of school, we'd play games for several hours. My only rules were that we played no game more than twice.

 

What a blessing to have had a job that worked so well for your family!

 

[Lucy the Valiant]

My girls (9yo) are learning to cook by taking "cooking classes" from me - I bought them each a $1 photo album, and they put a photo of the dish on the right side and copy the recipe out for the left side. There are enough spots for 9 of these 2-page spreads, and I told them that when they can do 9 different recipes (have to do it all by themselves start-to-finish-PLUS-cleanup to get it included), they will have successfully completed Cooking 101.

[MotherOfBoys]

Word of caution: I'm in the same boat and I notice my boys having more screen time then ever before and I sleep later in the morning than before.

 

I miss my job sometimes. I started volunteering in town once a week at a ministry just to get some adult time. We can't go back and forth from town for lots of extras because the gas adds up. We also noticed our self staying in town for a meal just to not go back home.

 

School does help. We lengthen our school days in the winter and do shorter ones in the summer when more free stuff is going on in town. (We had to make a few small adjustments to make one income work.)

 

I also invite my mom up (2.5 hours away) at a specific time each month (or every other during school) so the boys have something to look forward to. Or we go to her house. same with husbands parents. Space them out so you don't get lonely.

 

I liked one posts idea of learning something yourself. Like a language or something. I am considering that. I bought a HOW to cook book this year (not a cook book). Got ten pages in and was overwhelmed. So I took a break and am reading it again.

[CyndiLJ]

Online communities help for me being more alone, at least I have the illusion of adult interaction!

 

 

[airforcefamily]

We're not in as rural an area but it's 20-30 minutes to get anywhere worth going, another 30 minutes to get to a area with a larger population, and around 3 hours one way to get to a city with good choices of things to do. We defiantly don't make any of those drives everyday,it just wouldn't be worth the cost of gas or the time. I try to plan one big outing every week or two with one or two smaller trips during the week. We've pretty much exhausted the nearby activity options and the library isn't very good so many of these outings are just errands to stores. We do have kids in the neighborhood,including other homeschoolers, so finding playmates isn't such a big concern; we just sometimes need to get out of the house for a change of scenery.

[Hunter]

Being home more opens up a world of possibilities you didn't have before. It's takes time to adjust to a new center of your life. People were your center. Now home is your center. It's going to be different, and a year or two from now, you might be SO thankful this all worked out this way.

 

There are pros and cons to living in different environments. The key to enjoying yourself is looking at what you DO have, instead of trying to recreate what you no longer have.

 

Do you have the Encyclopedia of Country Living?

http://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Country-Living-Anniversary-Edition/dp/1570618402

 

Have you done any CM style nature study?

 

Do you have pets?

 

Do you bakeand cook?

 

Garden?

 

Read aloud to the kids?

 

Knitting and other fiber crafts?

 

Art and music?

 

Do any Waldorf or other type of seasonal celebrations and holiday/festivals?

[kbutton]

We lived in a rural town but had a friend growing up who lived in a very remote area. Other than cousins living nearby, she had to entertain herself. She had good quality toys, including a few pricier items, and lots of games she could play alone (only child). She did not homeschool, but her family had various animals over time, and they did both vegetable and flower gardening. She played in the creek, went fishing, had a horse, etc. She grew up and moved across the driveway with her family, so she must have enjoyed it. :-) I think a lot of getting used to it is managing expectations. If you have the space in your home, maybe you can really have fun developing some hobbies.

 

We do get "out" from time to time, and one of my boys still thinks we live in a cave. I actually wish we lived somewhere slower (like where I grew up) so that I wouldn't have to do so many structured and scheduled things just to have my kids meet other kids.

[ktgrok]

I'm not rural, but having NPR on the radio in the kitchen helps me feel like I'm getting some adult contact. It is intellegent, keeps me abreast of what is going on in the world, and replaces actual contact with people to some extent.

[Pen]

We are rural, but not so much so that there is no one closer than 5 miles.   There are other problems to deal with though such as noise and toxic garbage burning and so on and so forth, so each situation had its ups and downs.  

 

I have an only ds, but am lucky that at the moment we have an only child homeschooler across the street in easy biking distance.  They play often.  I would hope your two eldest can do the same, and that your youngest and baby will eventually be able to do that.   We also have a young dog/old puppy who is a major playmate for my ds, and that makes a huge difference.

 

We have special places to go right here, for example, 2 different garden areas, actually 4 but 2 are being neglected at the moment.  Blackberry patches.  A spot in a creek that my ds named the "enchanted pool".   Today I took a book and went with him and our younger dog to the "enchanted pool" which made it into a special excursion.  Library day is also a chance to get out and about.

 

We also have things like "baking day".

 

Doing things in the garden is definitely a big deal.   We are hoping to work toward having things like chickens, but at the moment the puppy is enough.  

 

For myself, it is harder.  I agree with things like computer, phone, and radio to get at least some adult voice in one's life.   I also try to have a certain number of get togethers with others to do something or other...see Shakespeare in the park in the nearest place to us that has that, go to a lake for the day, that sort of thing.   Much less in winter when we are more busy with school.

 

I also enjoy reading and learning about things.

 

You sort of, get used to what the circumstances are, I think, and learn to find things you enjoy doing within them, and it is easy with garden and so on to get so busy there is not much time or energy for the social time.  I have a chronic illness, so I do not have a lot of energy, but that seems also to be true for neighbors who are busy with garden and/or animals and/or cooking from scratch and/or hobbies of various sorts.  

 

 

[Erin]

rjones, I completely sympathize!  I, too, know that there is a difference between "in the country" and "in the sticks."   ;)

You've completely described where I live, other than my nearest city being only 3 hours away instead of 4.  

 

When the kids were younger, we did church every Sunday, AWANA on Wednesday afternoons (I drove 40 miles to our AWANA group), and Library on Fridays. For three, guaranteed days per week, we were out of the house seeing other people.   And that didn't include the days they got to go to work (ranching) with dad and visit neighbors, the feed store, etc.  

Three days is plenty, IMO.   As others have mentioned, once school is in full swing again, the kids'll be busier anyway.

 

For my own sanity, I've been active in online communities for about 15 years...since I lived on a ranch 30 miles from the nearest town (pop.125) and got mail three days per week.  lol  That was 'the sticks", btw.   My kids learned to be friends at a young age, though, and I think that's one of the blessings of both living in the country, as well as homeschooling.