Kids' brains during puberty

[chocoholic]

I have a 12-yo (almost 13) dd.  I believe I've read (somewhere?) that while kids are going through puberty, they temporarily get "dumber." Has anyone else read this, or am I going nuts? I believe I read that there is so much going on in the body that they actually seem dumber, temporarily.

 

I feel like my dd is (hopefully temporarily - but who knows) turning into an airhead.

 

I'm so frustrated.  There is no retention and she has an unteachable heart.  I know that some of it is the condition of her heart, but I wonder how much of it is related to puberty.

 

Does anyone else have some evidence of what I think I read or can you at least offer me some hope? 

[WTMCassandra]

What brains, exactly?  (Asking sort of tongue in cheek . . .)

 

There was a thread just today about 11yos.  My daughter is 16 and is sort of getting her brain back.  My son?  Not so much.

[Parrothead]

I have not noticed that phenomena in dd.

[Joker]

My dd has more attitude but she is not dumber and she has no problem with retention. I think she is more focused on herself and her own wants and desires, but she does feel bad when it is pointed out to her. She is 13, almost 14, if it matters.

[My3girls]

My dd is 11 almost 12 and that would explain a lot around here. She has turned into a complete space cadet lately. Keeping her focused is next to impossible.

[Word Nerd]

I remember reading an article about adolescent brains that was linked to here a couple of years ago or so. I haven't found it, but this one is similar:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468

[SharonM]

Try this book. I read it before my kids hit puberty, so I was ready for behavior that was less than optimal.  It makes a lot of sense, esp. the part about sleep.  I let my kids sleep in  every morning.

 

 

The Primal Teen: What the new Discoveries about the Teenage Brain Tell us about our Kids

 Barbara Strauch

 

This was published in 2007.  I am sure that there is even more research out there.

[MyThreeSons]

Well, if you look at most math curricula intended for the middle school years, you'll find that there is very little to nothing new taught in one of those years.

[LaxMom]

With my eldest daughter, *I* apparently became stupid when she hit adolescence. At least, that's how it was presented to me. :glare:

 

The current 12 yo is flaky. I think we're going to have to put up notes leading from stop to stop so she can remember to do things. I had to do that for myself when I was in the throes of twin nursling sleep deprivation. I called it "the village idiot scavenger hunt". :D

[hillfarm]

At ages 11, 12, etc., I'm not sure how much of a girl's behavior is affected by the maturation process (teen brain) and how much of it is affected by hormones (the menstrual thing). Both of which kind of creep up and take the girl in question by surprise.

 

IMO, it is important to at least briefly discuss these changes with our dd's , so that they don't begin to label themselves as something they are not - stupid, flighty, an airhead. Joking around is fine, but I remember what a sense of relief I felt during this age to know that all my strange behaviors were most likely not permanent. I wasn't that fond of who I was then, either.

 

My dd is 14yo now, and our primary issue is the struggle for who is calling the shots in her life. In a few things, she is capable of taking the lead and makes good choices. However, in other areas, I wonder, "What are you thinking? How could that possibly be a wise choice in any conceivable situation???" I am hoping that this, too, shall pass. In the meantime, I am working hard to notice and praise each and every good decision I see her make, and trying to bite my tongue and correct calmly and patiently for the rest.

[Night Elf]

I don't remember what happened with my oldest dd, but my youngest dd definitely went through something. I chalked it up to being hormonal most of the time. Her attitude changed. Not terribly horrible, but most definitely different. She also became more distracted and found school work more difficult. At 14, she started 9th grade at public school and had a stellar year. She complained of feeling distracted while doing some work but I told her that was just normal teenage stuff and not to be worried. By the end of the school year, she didn't seem to have the same problem though. Maybe she grew out of it?

[Alexigail]

I have no idea if this is related, but I do know that sometimes when toddlers have a growth spurt, they "lose" a little of their language skills because their brains are so busy with body development.  The skills are still there, but the brain is working on other things.  

It could be a similar thing in adolescence - so much going on in the body that the judgment and concentration take a hit.   I'd love to see if there have been any studies on this kind of thing.

[swellmomma]

I wouldn't say they become dumber, in many ways they are quite insightful at those ages BUT I will say the part of their brain that handles judgement is missing in action for some time, hence the dumba$$ things do that they think is a good idea.  I also will say that when focused they are making huge leaps in understanding and connections, but they are more distracted/airheaded when not focused then ever before

[GoVanGogh]

This is actually a pretty simplified article on the subject:

http://www.ehow.com/info_12284225_adolescent-brain-development-during-puberty.html

[linders]

They wander off to get/do something, are gone a few minutes, and return. "What was I supposed to get/do?"

 

They read a chapter and 5 minutes later, with complete bewilderment, cannot answer a single.simple.question. Like, "So what book are you reading?"

 

They look at a simple (really, really simple....x + 37 = 96) equation like they have had for years and ask, "So what number am I supposed to use for x?"

 

They tell the swim coach that, of course, they will at a practice tomorrow evening, knowing that they themselves planned a same-time birthday gathering with friends and were discussing it with said friends when the coach interrupted. (No, not being dishonest, just did not make the connection until one of the friends said something.)

 

They sign up for something on their new Kindle Fire using your (mom's) email, then are stunned - stunned! - that you know about what they did. (This was moments ago. I now have super-mindreading skills in his view.)

 

ETA: Insight? Exercise helps a bit. And lists. Lots of lists. Written on the backs of hands in indelible ink, if possible.

[mumto2]

Dd15 just became more emotional. Lots of drama but no difference in school performance. She has never been able to find her belongings and she has not improved!

 

Ds13 seems to be rather slowly emerging from a great year long fog. For instance I sent him to find something in his room and found him quietly sitting on his bed staring into space 15 minutes later with the book on the floor right by his huge feet. He forgot, sorry mom. This is the kid who finds my lost items for me! When he engages in the subject he is really bright but that is really hard to accomplish these days.

[goldberry]

This is a good book about that subject...  Why Do They Act That Way?

http://www.amazon.com/WHY-They-Act-That-Way/dp/0743260775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375196305&sr=8-1&keywords=why+do+they+act+that+way